I do have to say cause I to could go on forever I do get a laugh quite often at alot of it. I also get bothered by the dishonesty. I had someone on line that I thought I was a friend with and she used to talk with me for hours about problems her and her Master were having down to how chores were being done in the house and I found out a year later he isnt even in the United States. Just tell it like it is in real life not in her pretty little head.

I so needed this laugh, you always do that at the times I need it LOL. You must have ESP.

hugs babe

tia

:-)

I also think to some extent it may reflect who the person feels they “need” to be to fit in with the online D/s community (this is me assuming that is looking for that sort of community). Unfortunately, they’d probably find everything easier if they stopped worrying and just blogged more accurately, but finding support and community is hard in general and I think sometimes it can feel like you need to be the “right” way to find it.

Relating to that, I think part of it is that it can feel like when people say “it’s not real/the same” [meaning the ability to have a 24/7 D/s relationship long distance] they mean “you can’t be submissive/in love/feel this way”. And certainly some people do mean it that way. I’ve met people who told me that I wasn’t really in a relationship with someone because we were in a LDR, regardless of online or just “conventional” LDR. I think this is starting to change as internet relationships become more accepted and commuter relationships become more necessary, but it’s a hard sort of mindset to break. And I’m not necessarily thinking just about D/s relationships, but vanilla as well (example above was from a vanilla relationship).

Now, I know that you don’t mean it in that way. And certainly I agree with the intensity and the day-to-day ways things work, but I figured I”d explain, too, why people get so defensive over LDRs.

So that’s more than my two cents. I’m not sure how much sense it actually makes (I edited to remove some more personal bits and I think it messed up the flow).

If you’re talking about a spot an inch or two below the arm pit on the back of the arm, this might explain something that happened years ago. Someone did pinch me there and seemed shocked at my quizzical look; it didn’t hurt at all and I couldn’t figure out what they were doing. I must be missing a nerve bundle or something. But, I’ll keep this in mind for future reference. :)

Dave

PS I also don’t get sore from flu shots or tetnus shots.

I didn’t know that. Kind of a mystery why if breaks like that. It’s certainly not like women have a monoploy on deception (intentional or otherwise). I do wonder what the writers of these blogs would say if asked politely why they do it. This assumes that such a question can be asked without being taken as rude and impolite in today’s overly sensitive world.

Dave

Yes, I’m comfortable with who I am now. Mostly because I’ve realized that being a man and/or a dominant doesn’t mean being my dad. I think the secret to this whole gender thing is to realize that one can have aspects of both “roles” (if that’s the best term) regardless of the physical body one is gifted with. It used to confuse me that I was so different from what I’d been taught (both directly and indirectly) a man is. Now I ca look back and see that I was tuaght a very narrow and mysogenist view of maleness. Live and learn, always.

Dave

I’ve been reading a few other people’s blogs lately and trying to figure out if I’d want to do a public blog. I came to the conclusion recently that I wouldn’t be able to be as authentic as I am in my private journal, which, frankly, has plenty of my own self deception going on in it.

So I’m a coward and won’t do a public blog. At least not on relationship topics.

I absolutely adore your blog, as I know many people do. I find you very authentic and willing to allow yourself to be vulnerable in a way that I don’t think I’d be ok with, even anonymously.

All I’m saying is that maybe this other person feels vulnerable exposing those things in the light of day. Like people who only fuck in the dark, or with accent candlelight. The reality can be too painful.

I personally think it’s a little silly, like slashy talk or third person, or capitalizing all the Hims and Hes and such. But like dweaver, I’ve participated in some of those behaviors myself so feel a little uncomfortable getting on my judgmental face other than a wry grin and a shake of my head.

As far as why people are inauthentic or misleading? Fuck, I don’t know. Lots of reasons. They think people will judge them or not like them or they hate themselves and wish they were something else. They want to feel part of something. They want to be cool. Hell, maybe her master even told her to write like that.

In my case, actually, there was no deception. No *thing* that wasn’t sharing for fear of judgement from readers. There are always things that are left out merely because to share everything is impossible. When it happened, when things blew up and I headed for the door? No one was more surprised than we were. It wasn’t building up over time, it wasn’t something I brushed under the rug, it wasn’t anything that anyone, least of all me, saw coming and pretended it wasn’t there. It happened as quickly and as surprisingly as it played out right here, exactly as I presented it.

So if you feel like you were deceived, it wasn’t because I, in some way, misled you, which is my bitch here, about people who purposely do mislead.

It is her blog and she can write whatever and however she wants. I’m not at her blog trying to dictate otherwise. I won’t even link her blog because I don’t want anyone here doing that either. She can write in peace. All I asked was why. *shrug*