What’s the big hairy deal? Well, I’ll tell you.
I haven’t mentioned that about two weeks ago, Master took me to the beauty salon and had them cut eight inches of my hair off. EIGHT inches.
That’s a lot of hair.
At the last minute, like as I was sitting in the chair, he upped it to 10 inches and I near about had a panic attack meltdown in front of the beautician. But, fortunately for me, his purpose in upping it to 10 was to be able to donate it to Locks of Love, but my 10 inches of hair would have been in layers and not a straight 10. So whew… it couldn’t be done and the cut stayed at eight inches.
My hair now sits just an inch or so below my shoulders. Still not a super-short cut, but for me it is, and it’s the shortest Master has ever seen it.
I’m not sure what he has going on here with chopping off the head hair and letting the cunt hair sprout willy nilly.
I’m reluctant to present a haircut as a profound thing, or to make it into something more than it is… but, if I’m going to be honest, a haircutting decision made by someone other than yourself really is profound. It’s easier, in my experience, to let it grow based on his decision to wear it long, than it is to sit in that chair with him dictating to the lady with the scissors how to cut it.
Not that I wasn’t in agreement with getting it cut! Because, truly, it was a pain. I swear that every move made by myself or Master involved getting my hair caught, trapped, pulled. He was as frustrated with my yelping as I was frustrated with the pain.
But the inconvenience of having that long hair was offset by his clear attraction to, and enjoyment of my hair. I would never have chosen to cut it if it meant lessening his pleasure. That HE chose to do it has sent me into a teeny tiny tailspin.
I don’t think he likes it, at all. So I sit in front of the mirror and I feel this overwhelming guilt. It wasn’t my decision, nor my choice, true, but… neither did I object beyond a cursory “Are you sure you want to do this?” while sitting in the waiting area of the salon. I feel like I should have argued more, or protested more because I KNEW how much he loved my long hair. But all I was thinking at the time was how wonderful it would be for me to not have to deal with the hassle of it.
I don’t feel pretty, and I see it in his face when he looks at me and his eyes travel over my head. He’s said to me about a hundred times since “you don’t like it do you?” and I don’t.. I really don’t. I don’t like it because HE doesn’t like it.
So, it’ll grow back of course. But that’s a long time to feel unattractive and guilty.
I keep thinking that his initial offer to take me to get it cut was made because he wanted to hear me say that putting up with the difficulties of long hair was worth it for him. And I didn’t say that. I eagerly hopped into the car and focused on how nice it was going to be to not have my hair layed on or stepped on or caught in the car door or stuck in the zipper of my coat… and never once did I think of the look on his face.
Fail.
Like
Uncategorized | kaya | 
Monday December 17th, 2007 8:37am
Any haircut, regardless of whose decision!
I don’t completely understand his motive for wanting it off, and in no way am I questioning his right to make that decision. That said, maybe an [understandable] error in judgment as how the final product would look was made by him. This only makes him not a hairdresser and you not at all “guilty.” You are clearly unhappy with the results as well, but you are not culpable when your aim was to please him by going along with his decision and making things less physically challenging!!!! You hit yourself over the head for trusting his decisions and hit yourself o-t-h for not trusting his decisions, and that’s a no-win zone you shouldn’t have to be in.
I know all too well how long it takes for haircuts from hell to grow out, and how my attractiveness can be caught up in my hair—-but this WILL pass more quickly than you think, and you both will recognize that expertise in hair styling is NOT an inborn trait. Meanwhile, know that you are lovely (beautiful, sassy, desirable) in SO many ways, and those will just have to “do” until your hair returns! ;)
Suze
p.s.–also meanwhile, take this opportunity to try some cute hair bows & bangles or bands, or putting some interesting curls (eek,not permanent!) here and there. Even returning to the hairdresser for enhancements like face-framing highlights or something might cheer everyone up?
oops, shaved the top of that first comment off…should have been “haircuts for women ARE profound…”
I agree. I need to make the best of it instead of wallowing. Gee.. I need to go shopping!! :D
There are ways to make short hair look acceptable for the time being until it grows out sweetie
Talk to the beautician.
Consult the wondrous world of the internet
Walk into your local Wally World or whatever is close to you and find some cute hair things.
Turn what you have into something you can be proud of for a few months.
I’m not him so I can’t put words in his mouth but I do think that he made the decision to have this done and your nonverbals of dislike aren’t helping the consequences of his decision feel any easier.
your nonverbals of dislike aren’t helping the consequences of his decision feel any easier
Oh ouch. Good point.
You’re right. Thanks, babe. ;-)
*hugs*
I do it out of love hunny
I agree with those above that there are certainly ways in which you can make this cut livable. When I went through a shitty grow-out phase it is amazing how fast my headband collection grew. :D
It’s hard to adjust from having long hair – hard for the person who got the cut, and for everyone around them. Sometimes it just takes some adjustment. Who knows, maybe in a month or two you will like it. Or perhaps by then it will have grown out enough that it isn’t such a huge shock to you – particularly if your hair grows fast. It seems like such a long wait when you are in the moment, and it is certainly hard. But the time you have to feel this way is also finite, and it is a lesson learned on both sides.
Oh, and to share a little hair-from-Hell story with you – I once went in to the hair dresser to get my hair layered. She cut my hair so it had to lengths: the part underneath was past my shoulders, the rest was about four inches shorter. I almost cried. And I didn’t pay for the cut that didn’t even resemble what I asked for. There was no fixing it without doing some serious cutting. In the end, I went somewhere else and got it cut short – like really short. A pixie cut with one inch spikes in the back and the front came down to my chin. It was super cute, and Master loved it. When I decided to grow it out, though, it was HELL. There was definitely a mullet phase that even my (good) hairdresser could not find a way to avoid entirely. It took about 2-3 months of getting my hair cut and styled to improve it every three weeks in order for it to improve.
Thanks…lol. At least I don’t have a mullet. *grin* There is always a bright side! :D
I have very long hair and Master loves it. However, it is difficult to manage and, mine being very fine, it tangles easily. So I’m in the habit that, every fall, I cut it back to shoulder length, much like you describe.
Well, this year I didn’t, largely because of Master, but I’m wondering if it was the right decision. Master says he’ll love me regardless, but I’m sort of hoping he’ll take me to the salon and *make* me get it cut like yours did to you.
*sigh*
Wouldn’t it be nice if we could all just wear wigs? I mean, they just don’t understand, do they? I’ll bet all of your Masters have *short* hair, like mine does. Argh!
My Master has no sympathy for me hair-wise. His hair is about 3-4 inches below his shoulders. It gets in the way even more than mine…*sigh*
Master definitely has short hair. *sigh* I tell ya, no sympathy at all! ;)
kaya. you are beautiful with long hair or short hair. shoot i only had about 2 inches cut off mine and im still trying to get used to it… try parting it on the side but pushed back loosely, so its soft looking…i dont know, experiment with it- i think you will get used to it as it grows… hugs, Hisflower
I know, it’s just the shock of it all. Thanks!
That much hair cut off at one time is a huge shock to the system for not only the person who got it done, but the people around them. Give it some time. The cut may “grow” on you (no pun intended, honestly). You may come to love it, especially once it grows out a little bit. :-) *hugs* You’re still beautiful Kaya.
That’s pretty much what Master said too, that he’s just shocked by it all. *hugs*
The last time Master told me I could take as much as I wanted off of my hair I chickened out at the last second and instead of taking 12 inches off I took off 7. He was annoyed. Very annoyed. lol… I think He was relieved, though. His annoyance was more, I think, because He’d gotten used to the idea that He’d said I could and then I didn’t.
My hair’s almost to my ass again (after He cut it Himself and took about 7 inches off again) and the angst I felt over it being gone is also almost gone. This, too, shall pass.
You’re post nearly made me cry and I’m not even PMSing! My hair has always been such a big deal to me… and you describing that look from him, & not feeling pretty… Well damn I’ve bawled like a 15 year old over many a bad hair cut in my life. I don’t think you’re being over-dramatic. I think you’re handling it a hell of a lot better than I would.
What is it, 8 Inches Haircut Week? First me, then Shibari, now you! :o
and think of how beautiful its going to grow, how healthy and shiny and nice it will be.. in three months or so, your going to be happy about the cut.
a good hair cut is good for the head!!
also, (of course w/ Master’s permission) get yourself a nice hair drying brush, the kind w/ a metal base and bristles… hard to explain.. section off the top of your hair and blow out the layers one section at a time, in different directions – that’s what I did w/ my crappy last haircut and I have to say it looks nice when i do it – grant it, its for special occasions.. but still it looks nice.
Also think of how he will feel when making more of an effort w/ your apperance…
sorry that last comment was mine.. jenfuh from lj here’s an example of the brush I was talking about.
http://mp.hairboutique.com/Conair-Accessories-Ion-Shine-Color-Medium-Thermal-Round-Brush-Orange/P/111750/C/221
I can’t wait to see a picture of your new haircut. I donated my hair earlier this year to Locks of Love. I love short hair, Master loves long hair, but hey, since he is deployed for over a year, there is time to grow it back. HAHA He likes it though and it was a “compromise”. It goes past my shoulders.
On a side note, Locks of Love will take layered hair and only the longest layer needs to be 10 inches. It is right there on their website. I don’t know why the hairstylist lied to your Master. Maybe she didn’t know. :(
So, dear kaya, where the hell are our pics of your new lovely haircut? i want to see if the image i have of you in my head with your hair short even begins to do justice to how gorgeous you must look…
~His pet~
You know, get your hair long enough, and before you start play you can knot it up on your head. That’s what I do, unless I’m in the mood to make him miserable by running it over bits of him.