Versus
Scenario 1: I climb into bed, and without a word spoken, my head is grabbed by the hair and I’m pushed unceremoniously down to a limp cock, which is forced into my mouth. After sucking said cock into alertness, I’m flipped around to my knees, head roughly shoved down to the mattress, still without a word uttered. There’s a searing pain as the cock I just sucked is slammed home; when I shift forward too far, my nipples are turned into handles, tightly pinched and pulled backwards to hold me in place. When he’s finished and has flipped me back around to empty himself into my mouth, I’m swatted out of bed to fetch fresh water, and God help me if I take a drink before offering it to him first.
vs
Scenario 2: “I’m going to bed, slave. You don’t have to.”
~~*~~
Scenario 1: I accidentally wake him up in the middle of the night and it turns into a sweaty romp filled with punches, slaps, degrading talk, mental bondage, and of being smothered until I buck and panic under the weight of his body pinning me down and the force of his hands pressed over my mouth and nose.
vs
Scenario 2: I wake up in the middle of the night and he’s not there. He’s fallen asleep in the recliner.
~~*~~
Scenario 1: By way of jabbing his thumb deep into my mouth and curling his fingers under my chin, he lifts me from the couch and growls into my ear to get my naked ass under the desk to be used, and to do it right fucking now.
vs
Scenario 2: Waving at me from the end of the hall, he announces he’s going to “do his thing” and shuts the door, locking it–and locking me out.
~~*~~
Scenario 1:
Me: “I took the njoy out to use the bathroom. Do I have to put it back in?”
Him: “Yep.”
vs
Him: “No.”
~~*~~
Each scenario has happened in the last couple of days. I don’t have any complaints about any of them. I’m starting to feel a lot more balanced.
It’s when the weight falls too far toward Scenario 2, that I start to get wonky. He turned me into a junkie- there’s no sense getting ticked at me when I act like one.
~cunt
Uncategorized | kaya | 
Saturday June 11th, 2011 5:54am
Yep, that’s how I feel too. He turned me into a junkie, he reaps the rewards. But if he doesn’t want to feed the habit, he has at least to know I want it.
sin´s last [type] ..Perspective
I agree.
IMO a Dominant is dominant by basic temperment – even those who act from disciplined choice start from a personality that leans that way. But none of us are linear one-dimensional entities – there are few dominants that are 100% “on their game” 24/7. To be so would 1) be exhausting, and 2) just who is in charge if that is demanded?
Now some may actually want slaves they constantly and flawlessly micromanage, or alternately, slaves so automated that active control is no longer necessary but for most dominants I know, part of the game is that the M/s relationship is NOT perfect and provides a challenge – control is not 100% nor is that even desirable. Resistance or at least struggle is necesary for there to be a worthwhile power shift, one sided though it is. And part of that must include withholding control when one doesn’t feel like being “on” or it is not really power exchange at all.
It is impossible that two people in a relationship are exactly balanced at all times – either vanilla or kinky – one always wants more or less than the other at that instant – be it sex, excitment, power exchange or pain, or maybe cuddles, quiet, sleep, or just chilling.
Personally I think being perfectly balanced would be totally boring and be as deadly to a relationship as being wildly mismatched in ones needs.
But it does mean that occasionally one or the other is frustrated…..
Regards,
Peter
I like this comment. -nods-
We’ve been struggling with similar issues. I’ve yet to say anything to Master about it mostly because I just can’t seem to get my thought’s in order about it all, but it’s hard to take… I know. The less BDSM that fills our lives the less I feel “loved”, “wanted”, “needed” etc. Yep, definitely a junkie too ;o)
mistik´s last [type] ..Maximus Water Based Lubricant
We need what we need. -shrug-
In kayaland.. He asks ‘wanna fuck’ you say no and he fucks you anyway. Kaya wins. All your scenario 1s keep kaya happy. Scenario 2s might just be what he wants. You’re the slave.. Deal with it and quit whining. ( I do love you really but you’re being moany x)
I say no and he doesn’t fuck me. How is that a win for me?
And did you read this bit: “Each scenario has happened in the last couple of days. I don’t have any complaints about any of them.”?
Doesn’t sound like you did.
I’m sorry hun.. You’re right.. I was just pointing out (badly it seems) that in your world m needs to act a certain way to make you happy.. Oh ignore me.. I shouldn’t have opened my mouth
I don’t deny that I have needs. That’s why I wanted this type of relationship. -shrug-
I’m glad I’m not the only one who feels like an addict. It seriously worries me sometimes – I’m sure I never used to tend towards nymphomania….. But it’s really not about the sex, that’s just the most obvious way the control is exerted, and it’s the control that seems to be endlessly addictive and never enough….
Yeah, it’s not the sex. It’s the control. For sure.
creepy.
You again? You have an obsession, you know that? Maybe you’re addicted to me! Ha.
Forwarded that last line on to James as the QotD. Heh.
OMG I dont care. I will take #1 of all of them every time, as the others would break my heart.
His Huntress´s last [type] ..Forevers