Time’s a’wasting!
The window is closing and still no blood. I even sucked down some god-awful hot parsley water. I’m on the brink of turning my vagina into a garden in a last ditch effort to kick start it. I thought I saw a tinge of pink on the toilet paper, and I thought I had a cramp, but I think that was just wishful thinking.
I’m willing to extend the time to Friday, but then that’s it. Then I’ll have to go to the mooncups or whatever they are, though I tried that once and it was uncomfortable, plus I leaked all around it. No doubt I didn’t insert it right, though I swear I’ve had LOTS of vaginal object insertion practice.
I know you’ve enjoyed this much contemplation on my menstrual cycle. Thank you for listening. :)
I’m starting to get the butterflies regarding going to camp. It’s the same-old, same-old. I get all angsty that he’ll want to do something hard and mean and I’ll wimp out. And then I get all angsty thinking he’ll want to do nothing and treat me like a fragile china doll.
I have no clue which would be worse.
Fact is though, he’s going to do what he’s going to do. Accept it and move on. Meh.
We had a little verbal exchange last night that has left me feeling very unsettled and very… angsty.
Angsty is the word of the day apparently. I do it so well.
We were watching a video of some girl getting beat on and he said something to the effect of “I want to find a girl I can do that to.”
*blink blink blink*
Wtf am I, chopped liver??
I *know* that he meant someone who could take it at the level of the girl in the clip, but you know- I used to be that girl. It’s not my fault that I’m not that girl now. And if he wants that girl back, bring her back. Unless it’s just easier to find someone already there.
It just threw me for a loop and of course I’m going to obsess over it. I do that very well, too.
It kinda makes me want to just give up. Bah.
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Uncategorized | kaya | 
Wednesday August 18th, 2010 5:50am
You are still that girl if he wants you to be. And if not, he will find someone else for a day. They like variety. And they like to fantasize sometimes.
If you use a sea sponge instead of a tampon you can still get fucked and no one will ever be the wiser. ;)
You can also use the instead cups. They’re easy to insert and I rarely leak unless I’ve left it in far too long. Bonus: cant even feel them during sex.
Angsty and obsess…two of my personal favorites. But I think sin is right.
and maybe he said it just to make you…angsty….
mind fucking is evil.
they do it so well, damn them!
nilla
Oh sugar!
Isn’t angst just part of it all?
And if you didn’t feel it.. grin.. you’d complain?
Good luck whatever happens!
There is another possibility to it too. Every once in a while the urge to have you be the girl in the video wars with the feelings he may have for you. It is something that is always there and at times one wins and at times the other wins. In a way, that is why a relationship allows you to play with out worry about you getting seriously hurt, though that can happen even if youare trying to be careful.
Well, you’re definitely exhibiting signs of pms, so that’s good!
Oh my pms just *exploded* tonight. Poor kids. They’re all hiding in their rooms.
Though if they weren’t such UNGRATEFUL, SELFISH, HEATHEN SPAWN they wouldn’t have to hide, NOW WOULD THEY???
I soooooo wish there was a “like” button for comments!
Like this ;>)
Ha. All our kids hide from us sometimes. And yeah, they deserve to.
lol. Yeah!
Oh my how I understand how that comment can trip your brain up so you obsess about it. I am there often.
if you are bleeding at TT time, try natural sea sponges – that’s what the *professionals* do so i hear. can’t feel ‘em during sex. as far as i’m aware the same can not be said for the mooncups (although there IS a disposable form that you can have sex whilst using – looks more like a diaphragm than the cup does) Hope that helps. :)
Shove a tampon in, cut the string off, and deal, girlie. :)
I will! But not before I’ve whined about being a girl for awhile.
Surely, something good and humiliating can come out of this. Blood play anyone? :D
That’s it! Think positive! ;)
You could wind up oh so lucky with a bloody tampon shoved in your mouth. :)
That is so disgustingly hot it ain’t even funny.