Time is (not) on my side.
I posted this on Fetlife just now.
This is really just a general whine. Maybe a rant. Maybe a bitch. I’m good at all of them.
I miss being able to participate here. I miss being able to read the shit here. I do not get where people have the time to do it and I don’t.
I don’t even work outside the home. My kids are in school, Master is at work and still I can’t keep up with one tenth of the threads here. I’m lucky if I read one whole thread (and I don’t, if it has more than about 10 replies) – and forget about actually contributing to it. I try, and I zip off a quickly worded and non-spellchecked, non-proof-read contribution and even doing that is hurried and leaves me feeling hella-guilty.
Then I see how some people are on here posting every day, all day long to this group and that group and this thread and that thread? HOW does one accomplish that and still cook and clean and raise kids and please these men of ours? Cuz I’m seriously missing the secret. And I want it. I miss my online bdsm social network, dammit.
Slaves make crappy friends, I’ve always said so, and apparently, we also make crappy Fetlife participants.
Hmmph. Once again, I’m going to resubmit my application for promotion to the Pretty Pretty Princess job instead of the scullery slave.
~sigh~ Back to it I guess. Y’all have a great day.
In all seriousness, I DON’T get how people do it. I know how my day goes, how much general time it takes to do things, and the only way someone is sitting there and posting as much as one does is at the expense of something else.
Which is all fine and dandy, really. Obviously some Owners don’t expect or want a clean house or a hot meal or whatever it is that’s being left out to make up for the time spent online. To each their own and it’s no skin off my nose either way.
But. Cuz there is always a but. I can’t help but wonder if, when they call themselves a slave, what exactly are they a slave TO? The computer? Yahoo groups? Eljay? Myspace?
I don’t know. There are never going to be any agreed upon universal standards for what makes or breaks an M/s relationship, but I certainly do have my own personal standards and anyone who spends more time talking about it than doing it?
Well. Yeah.
~cunt
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Uncategorized | kaya | 
Friday September 12th, 2008 11:21am
Perhaps you just have a different set of rules to abide by. Like “you have to be on the internet at least 8 hours a day and make sure you wear the clothespins while you do it.”
Or the major posters on Fetlife identify themselves as slaves but aren’t currently in any relationships.
Or they have a relationship with an online Master.
Or they have a physical/mental disability that keeps them from doing much else.
Or maybe they are at work at a computer and “multitasking” while they work! Or perhaps thier computer is in a central location and they can keep an eye on it while doing things around the house and still blogging/posting at the same time. When I was an at home mom/wife I could hold a couple of instant message converstaions all day! Take a load of laundry out, answer so and so, check on the spaghetti gravy, read down chat room chatter and and my 1 cent, fold laundry, etc etc etc. Yes, I couldn’t do it every day but some days I could keep up if it was one of those where you are all over the house! But yes, now I don’t know how folks do it, so much energy and Kaya you are correct, something else doesn’t get done and gets pushed back til tomorrow…..unless something juicy is discussed…and then the NEXT day!
I really can’t comment on the Fetlife thing. I opted out very early on because I just couldn’t find the time to spend there. I was forever on the back end of every thread, and often too worn out to care by the time I DID get to them. Still, I’d question the statement that “slaves make lousy friends.” I think slaves, (and good, wise, knowledgeable submissives) can make wonderful friends as long as one understands what that means in the context of this whole life choice. There are people, who I am honored to call friend, who are self-identified slaves and / or submissives. Their time is limited, and their access to online community is constrained (usually) by other demands on their time and energies. They commit to other things ahead of time spent “out here.” I know that and completely understand that, and absolutely value the time they do dedicate to maintaining relationship with me and others in this life. I’m a grown up, and I don’t need (or have the ability to maintain) a “best girl-friends” style relationship. The people I’d call friends honor my choices, as I do theirs. Despite the hurdles to our relating, we stay hooked to one another, and if one of us really does “need” the connectedness that we share, I know that there is a community that will find the minutes to reach out with concern and awareness and understanding. We don’t talk often. We don’t chat. We don’t “Twitter.” We don’t even often comment, but we’re there. Together. Friends. In the very best sense of the word.
I’d count you in that number, and I hope I’d be on your list of people who might fill the same bill.
swan
There are very few who “get” the time constraints placed on us who belong to another. I’ve lost more ‘friends’ than I’ve gained because of it, and the ones I’ve gained (and of course you are included) are priceless to me.
100% agree withyouhere, kaya. slaves Do make lousy friends, because i HAVE lost friends because when Master said, “I need you” and i was on the phone, i told them, “sorry. i have to go.” that happens once to much for most folks. even other “M/s” people. when i say, “i’ll call you back later if i can”, that means, “i will TRY to call you back IF i have time after doing the things Master requires me to do and IF He doesn’t have anything else for me planned AND if i don’t feel that He needs me to be attentive to Him, even if He DOESN’T specifically state that He has something for me to do.” (which isn’t very frickin’ often!)
sometimes, my very best friends go a week or two without hearing from me. the ones that are STILL my friends learned to deal with this. the ones that didn’t deal? well. you se how much they still get talked to.
i admit that now that the computer is upstairs, and i have to make a special trip to use it, i post/comment FAR less than when it was in the living room, and i could glance at it and dash off a 5-second reply on my way through to do laundry, vacuum, etc. (as someone above mentioned could be done).
and i’ve actually found that i don’t really miss it as much as i thought. huh. funny that.
Master’s ~melly
Kaya,
I understand how you feel. This isn’t to say that I can share your frustration; I’m probably one of those that frustrate you in this regard. I cvan work a full teaching load (plus an overload class) keep up on my writing and reading, follow and comment on my favorite blogs AND still find time to play computer games for a few hours a week. How do I find the time? I don’t have to deal with several of life’s normal chores. I room with a family and only have to contribute towards the food budget. I don’t have to cook, I only have to do dishes once a week, my personal laundry needs only two loads a week (done on the same day), and I get my reading done on the 2 1/2 hours of bus commute I do five days a week. Yeah, I know, I’m horrivle. None of this makes it any easier for you, but now you know at least one of us understands how normal we’re not. Of course, if I had all your responsiblities, they just wouldn’t get done. I’m not a mother and not up to that level of responsibility and work.
Dave
Me: [Link to this post] That’s what I was laughin about. I’m waitin to see who all gets their panties in a twist.
[He reads.]
Xavior (DT): tell her I’m with her I don’t get that shit hell I barely have time to check my email
Me: You tell her :P
Xavior: don’t have time to tell her I’m trying to catch up on my email
Me: LOL
Xavior: I’m up to aug 27th now
So yeah…he agrees and so do I. I’m forever falling behind on the blogs I read. I read up on you, swan, and a couple of others as they light up but there are times where there are 20+ posts from others before I finally get to them.
I started trying to become more active in Fetlife and I think I’ve read two posts over the last 2 days? I just don’t have it in me.
I cheat and do all my FetLife stuff from work. heh, 5 mins here and there could probably add up to hours and hours over the course of a month.
i agree with everything you ask here…i don’t have to do half the things you do…and i still find it hard to find time!
I’ll chime in with the voices agreeing with you.
Getting time to do my blog (even with my Master’s permission, which, for the moment, I have) means that something else I want to do in the day goes undone.
Looking around our apt., methinks I need to spend a little less time on the blog. However, sorting his power tools doesn’t boost affiliate sales, so maybe I am prioritizing things alright….
It’s the mood you’re in and the new house.
You tend to go thru spurts. :) Sometimes you’re online a lot, sometimes not so much. I’m sure the daily work doesn’t change all that much – just mood and priorities for down/relaxation time.
I’d bet the no computer in the bedroom thing makes a difference, too.
I spend a lot of time on the pc. But my house is tiny. I can clean it all – including sweeping, moping, vacuuming and dusting fan blades – in about three hours. I don’t watch tv. My kid is in school all day. Taylor works nights and sleeps days. I don’t work. I have plenty of downtime during the week. Less on the weekends when Taylor is off and the kid is home, of course.
I work in front of a computer at HOME 8 to 10 hours a day and I barely get to read 3 journals and check the stock market or news.
I don’t cook much, I don’t clean house much – but I have an active social life of friends since my kids are adults. I just can’t bring myself to sit in front of a computer when I am not working.
M naturally expects me to spend my free time with him – why?
we usually are actually having CONVERSATION and doing things together.
Today I took the day off and it is 5pm – first time I’ve looked at a computer. I find I spend more time on the computer when the weather isn’t good and football might bore me to tears soon so who knows, I might spend more time on the computer on weekends if he doesn’t need me to “hang out” or do “stuff” with him.
My time off is not my choice on what we do – unless he is sleeping or is engrossed in something that distracts him from me – I know our groove and I know when I can fuck off or when I can’t.
You spent more time on LJ than most of the posters there. Kaya must still be unhappy.
Anonymous …. Give it up already
For someone that said you will not read any more,seems like your the unhappy one. Does it make you happy to keep leaving these kind of post’s ???? Or is it that you have way to much time on your hands. I for one think even tho kaya has had some unhappy times ( like we all do ) she is getting back to her happy place.
Bloody hell!
Now, there’s someone without a life. A prime example. Gather around kids, time for a photoshoot. Flashes off though, we don’t want to blind the poor dear. It’s an endangered spieces, it must be kept locked up and preserved.
And I think you’re becoming a slave to my blog. Contrary to your apparent intent to bring me down, your constant and unwavering attention is quite flattering. Thank you. :-)
Amen!
I’ve been banned (by Master) from even going onto forums beacuse (1) is screws up my focus and (2) I get stuck. So no more catforums, SD, no Ägda, Lockig – nuthing. I never even got to join FetLife. *sigh*
Because there isn’t time. I’ve got duties and a beautiful home that’s (still) in a complete mess. I can’t wait till Master buys us shelves and storagespaces.
And then there’s school…. and Master… and – how do people do it? I don’t know. They don’t have lives?
But frankly, I should find the time to blog someday soon.
I have a similar issue with FL, and even blogging. I do want to, but it’s not something my Master requires or even particularly encourages, so the time is only made for it if I make it, if I use my free time to contribute.
I don’t have kids, I don’t work outside of the home. I go to school and I work inside the home, but it feels like I never have enough time for anything. I want to be a part of the online community because my Master just isn’t into being part of the offline community (or maybe he feels we don’t have time as well), but I don’t have the time to keep up with the many groups, posts and responses on that site or really any site.
I think, for me, it’s just plain jealousy. I miss the time I used to have to interact in the online world. When Master traveled all the time, and was gone Mon-Fri, I felt more connected to most of you and several different forums. I was a slave to the computer, at least in hindsight I can see that, and that’s all changed now. It’s a good change, I’m happier serving Him than serving discussion groups, but at the same time, I feel left out, left behind. So I get catty. It’s not right, it’s completely shameful, but then I’m all kinds of loaded with flaws. ;-)
We have a Job were we don’t have much work to do :P
Well isnt that the truth doll. You are superwoman seriously cause you do way WAY lots. Yah know I had no internet for the most part for 2 months and I have been working normal hours and all so I was thinking for that 2 months that I would have all this extra time to do shit, I mean ball season is over I was going to be doing major hobbies like scrapbooking. I never got to not one page and I didnt get all that time to do all the ME shit I thought I would.
Just at the time I get to one end of the house the other end starts calling me back to it. Its a neverending circle. I hear other schedules and there 200 required tasks daily and Im exhausted just reading it. hell my basic chore list with M’s extra likes is most days half ass daunting. I also thought that my house would be spotless now that I cant be in the garden anymore and well that aint happening anymore.
I missed you so freaking much you dont even know., I got used to my kaya fix. Reading you is one of my required things to do and I LOVE LOVE LOVE it!!
hugs n kisses
tia