Tidbit Tuesday
- Last night we had WDS, as opposed to WMS. WDS stands for Wild Doggie Sex (don’t call PETA, no real animals are ever involved in our sex life). The difference between Wild Doggie Sex and Wild Monkey Sex is 1) postioning. The obvious WDS position is, well, doggie style. Monkey Sex position involves alternating gymnastic-type positions that leave you with tangled limbs. And 2) WDS is mostly silent, with low, throaty growls. WMS involves hooting and hollering.
/animal sex lessons
I’d put on this short silky number before we got into bed because Master really has a thing for satin and silk fabrics. I planned on seducing him by rubbing my silky self up and down his body, with lots of licking and kissing and suckling. So, trying to keep that seductive tigeress look on my face I swung myself on top of him.
And prompty bonked my head on the metal bars of the headboard. Not just a little bonk, but a big one that reverberated throughout the hollow metal tubes. I *was* going to pretend it didn’t happen because that totally doesn’t lend itself to the seductive tigress look I was going for- but it really hurt. It was one of those kind of bonks that makes your eyes water and requires rubbing to soothe the sting.
Naturally, Master cracked the fuck up. “Your middle name isn’t Grace, is it?! Bwahahahahaha!”
Fucker.
When he could breathe again, he rubbed the sting away and kissed my owie.
And that was kind of sexy. So I was all inspired again to be the seductive tigress and I went ahead with my plan to rub my silky self all over him.
I really really REALLY enjoy making his eyes roll up into his head. It’s powerful.
He happily returned the favor. By the end of the WDS, I was on another planet. The Planet of Ecstasy. Lovely place, that.
And then we spooned, with our legs all entangled and his arm thrown heavily across my body. Before drifting off to sleep, he breathed into my ear, one word: “Mine.”
I smiled into the darkness and settled deeper under the binding feel of his embrace. I replied with one word: “Yours.”
- And speaking of being his, I had an… “episode”… about two weeks ago where I decided that I most definitely was not going to be his and I snuck off to erase the scarred words that label my body.
I scratched and scratched and scratched. There was a lot of blood, zero pain, zero tears, zero hysteria. I was numb, lost down some rabbit hole of despair and desperation.
Desperate to reclaim my self.
There was a lot more going on than just that, but the details of it are not necessary and I want to focus on this one thing.
Afterward, instead of making me feel better, I felt worse. Lost. Adrift. Panicked. Unidentified.
When it was all done and said and he observed the damage; ‘It’s still there’ was all he said, confident that his “work” could not so easily be removed.
As the tissue has healed-and as I have healed- the words are reappearing. Each letter standing out, raised and perfectly legible, amidst the dull pink of healing skin.
Seeing that permanence soothes me to my soul. I can’t erase what he’s scarred into my skin anymore than I can erase what he’s scarred into my very being.
Someday, I’ll stop trying. I know it, he knows it. Last ditch efforts to claw my way out. I don’t know why. I don’t know that it matters why. Maybe all that matters is that even when I claw my way to the top, I turn around and jump right back in.
Uncategorized | kaya | 
Tuesday January 26th, 2010 7:14am
What was it about two weeks ago? I likewise had an “episode” and tried to convince the Captain that he should leave. Wanna guess how well that went?
[rq=1974570,0,blog][/rq]What It Is
“Mercury retrograde gives rise to personal misunderstandings; flawed, disrupted, or delayed communications, negotiations and trade; glitches and breakdowns..”
Normally I scoff at astrology. But sometimes, especially when I’m looking for an answer to an otherwise baffling situation, I fall back on blaming the stars. It is muy convenient.
My horror-scope for the period of retrograde (which, btw, was 2 weeks ago) was this:
when Mercury goes retrograde you can go off on tangents and lose control of your day planner. Beware of other people wanting to take control. When you are not balanced within yourself, you can become grumpy and serious. [...]don’t be surprised if you feel just a little out of sorts and at times uncomfortable in your own skin.
His horror-scope for the period of retrograde:
[...]often can’t understand why other people can’t keep up with your thinking speed. Be careful of being intolerant of anyone who is not on the same page as you because when you get irritable you can cut someone down with a look and a few acid words, causing damage that may not be easily patched up.
Weren’t we just a pair?
Re-thinking the suitability of your romantic relationships is possible now, but you should avoid jumping to any premature decisions. There may be the need to revisit old issues with your children or lover, or there could be some communication problems with the same. Arguments with a lover may be blown out of proportion far too easily.
BWAHAHAHAHAHA!
[rq=1974570,0,blog][/rq]What It Is
Wow, a powerfully good post. Got a big giggle out of the head bonk during “i’m so sexay” tigrress approach…that is so “me too”!!
Being so new a subbie, i’m still in the euphoric bliss of it all. Throwing confetti and yahooing and aaahing. He’s good for me. That’s the sum total of it. Howeverit plays out in the future, i plan on being in the “now” and right now…it’s pretty fucking good!
That “mine”…choked me up. Gawd you two. (nilla smiles). Just…lovely you can be w/Him all the time. Lucky, lucky you. Even with the head bonk!
nilla
[rq=1976798,0,blog][/rq]Of Lust and Desire
I tried to plan my escape last week, too. I was going break into my inheritance, move to Europe and pursue my dreams. Seriously. I was checking into the paperwork and I told D. I wanted a divorce. He just said “hm… okay..” and let me ride out the wave. Then I said “you were going to let me go?” and he said “You can’t go, you aren’t capable of leaving me…” and I said “Oh..”
Master says I went to the Lucy Ricardo School of Sexual Seduction. Seems you are also an Alumni of that fine institution,
[rq=1977391,0,blog][/rq]Pretty Shiny
You? Go to Europe?? By YOURSELF???
BWAHAAAHAAAHAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
*wheeze*
HAHAAHAAAAHAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!
[rq=2001569,0,blog][/rq]From the outside looking in
Only a couple of times in the over 28 years now of being with my Sir, the Capn, have I thought of leaving him. He very calmly looks at me and says “You can’t leave.” I ask why and he replied, “Cause I’ll go with you!” But seriously…or not…we all have moments or sometimes even days when we wonder WTF are we doing, why are we doing this thing we do and why are we with the people we are with. Then they do something like whisper in your ear, “Mine”…and we know don’t we?
[rq=1977602,0,blog][/rq]Brutalize Me With Your Love
I have to say your Master has an amazing ability for one liners. I would have been laughing my ass off and unable to come up with a funny as hell remark. My hats off to him! -Ttalos
*also puts hand up for having an “episode” about two weeks ago…
Did someone slip something into us over the innernets?
[rq=1980543,0,blog][/rq]All your hole are belong to me
WDS is something I suspect Nick and I will be trying soon as see him next.
Once again, I’ve wandered onto a post that just makes me think hardcore. Seems lately that’s all I do. Think Think Think. Feel Feel Feel. I’m totally all over the place in my emotions thanks to therapy(even if I need the shit) sometimes it amazes me how one post can make one think so hard about things. However much I’m babbling here, lets just say it shoved an ugly monster of my shoulder yet again tonight.
Don’t ya just hate it when those fuckers bark in your ear and won’t shut the hell up?
Anywho, I agree with the stars,…Sometimes. Every now and again, they get it just about right.
That was really, really beautiful.
[rq=2005563,0,blog][/rq]The term "spitroast" always makes me smile