1) Your son shouldn’t be smoking because at 13 he’s not old enough to be doing it responsibly.

2) My mom told me that if she ever caught me smoking pot she would kick me out of the house. She didn’t mean it, but it still implied that if I got caught I would be in serious, serious trouble. But one night when I was 18 I was hanging out with some friends and wound up trying it. I realized that I was past curfew and instead of calling my parents for a ride (like they always promised they would do for me rather than have me drive home drunk) I was too scared to tell my mom I was high and drove home myself. It was terrible. There was no way I should have been on the road.

So just keep in mind that putting down such a hard line on your kids might make it really hard for them to ask for help when they need it.

Yes, we would love for our children to learn from our mistakes – hell, if we could have just learned from the mistakes of our parents and everyone else we know then the two of us would be incredibly perfect ;). What’s most likely though – based on both of our own histories with *our* parents – is that our children are going to learn from some mistakes we express and not others, the mistakes we don’t realize they see, and only the ones they choose to learn from. That last part is going to be especially true if our children are much like us at all :/

Because they’re going to pick what they want to hear and don’t want to hear, what they want to learn by listening and what they’ll have to learn by their own experiences, we’d rather not put anything into a forbidden category because we think it will shut down conversation and the opportunity to learn beyond the actual experience. There will be rules in our house up to a point, but we’re much much more focused on there being the constant opportunity for lessons rather than concrete boundaries. I don’t think telling your children not to smoke because of your history is hypocritical, I think if you told them that smoking was the evilest activity out there and worthy of being handed over to the authorities (even though you used to smoke) then that would be hypocritical.

Rambling a bit… did that make sense? email maybe would be a more productive conversation too…

Kinda like how beer is an acquired taste…maybe.
Probably…it’s a good thing that I’m not into pot because my SO cannot stand the smell of it. It makes him nausous.

The Emperor started smoking pot when He was 11. He’s sports a 9 1/2″ dick. Was He supposed to hang at 15″? Or is it all bullshit, like *so* much of the propaganda of pot?

Be honest about your opinion. Be honest about the realities. Look it up online.

Another point – I have never hidden my love of the reefer fron my kids. So far, two of the three aren’t at all interested.

Arrgh. The third is making me want to go smoke some pot. See, this is why I never comment anymore. I can never finish one.

:-*

Miss you tragic. Did you get my email?

;) I has no sympathy either. Was lying in bed last night thinking “What kid, above 14, has never heard of a condom before?!” (Though, not about Jes.)

We did the same and supplied the things she needed and the baby needed and when her and her partner got jobs they paid it back. We didn’t ask, they just figured it was the right thing to do.

They grew up fast and have become the most awesome parents and I am so proud of them all.

You go girl. I’m behind you all the way!

xox

However, I’m going to weigh in here.

There’s a LOT of anti-drug propaganda out in the world, a lot. Chances are there isn’t anything you can say that is anything worse than what he’s heard from teachers, television, etc. Drugs fund terrorism, pot makes you no fun, pot is a GATEWAY Drug (gateway to what? only thing it’s ever lead me to is the fucking fridge). From a youthful perspective, having recently had a lot of my younger siblings come to me, rather than their parents, about drug advice, the best thing you can do is be realistic – and yes, that means admitting that pot, and a good measure of the other mind altering substances out there aren’t as bad as school and everyone else really wants you to believe.

Be honest, as one poster said, give the FACTS, ie. doing drugs before he’s finished developing will screw over his wang size and his virility/stamina. Threatening to turn him in will only make a teenager resent you, and quite frankly, be more likely to go do it to bite his thumb at “the (wo)man.” Yes, it is an illegal activity, so instead of threatening to turn him in, research the legalities of what could happen if he was caught intoxicated on it, if he was caught using, etc. Real consequences are a lot scarier than mom saying she’s going to turn you in, because almost no teenager will believe you’d do that, and you yourself admitted to not doing it.

If he’s going to do it, he’s going to do it. The best you can hope for is that if he does do it, he knows FULL well what he’s getting in too (that means realistic health concerns – toking up once because he falls to peer pressure isn’t going to have any real long-term consequences). Sorry I’m rambling so long on here, but, half the reason teenagers rebel so hard and do things like drinking and drugs in excess is because they are made to seem so very rebellion-ful and taboo heavy.

So, one more time. Realistic consequences produced in a logical fashion, realistic punishments (things Kaya would actually do if he was caught, not threaten to do to scare him) so that if it happens there’s no ‘HOW COULD YOU DO THIS OUTRAGE?!?” And y’know, a healthier, more realistic outlook on drugs and their consequences in general.