“Then you turn your back and they are gone so fast”
B-man is going to a dance after school – with a girl! He has a *date*. He told me I have to buy him a new shirt! He’s worn nothing, literally, but black heavy metal band t-shirts for a year and now he must have a new shirt. For his *date*.
My baby. *sniffle*
I also think he smoked pot but I’m not sure and it’s just one of those nagging mom feelings and I have NO idea what to do about THAT. Of course he says he didn’t but a friend of his got busted by his parents for having some and I just know, I KNOW, if his friend had it while B-man was there – come on, I wasn’t born yesterday! So I told him if I ever catch him with any I’m gonna call the police. I don’t care how harmless everyone thinks it is or that “everyone does it!” (which isn’t true because Master and I don’t!) – it’s still illegal and I can’t just do nothing.. right?
Could/ would any of you turn in your own kid?
Gah! What the hell was I thinking when I had kids? SO much easier when they still wore diapers. Srsly.
I got one trying to be a hoodlum, one having to buck society and be a lesbian (the nerve! hee.) and one turning me into a grandma well before my time.
I honestly did not sign up for this part. I want a do-over.
~~*~~
Speaking of grandma-ism. Check this out:
Is that not the most adorable little belly you’ve ever seen?? That’d be my grandbaby in there, kicking the shit outta her ribs. *beams*
~~*~~
Tonight I’m taking Master and Am out for a birthday dinner since we really didn’t do much as a family to celebrate. I’m gonna do the whole ‘loud singing waiters with cake, embarrass ‘em to death in the restaraunt’ gig. So excited. B-man will be with us but I think Jes has other plans.
Tomorrow is Am’s party. We’re hauling them all to the movies to see Coraline(? I think) and then back here for cake and ice cream and presents. And then mucho hours of screaming, squealing girls playing DDR and Rock Band.
The joy. It overwhelms me.
~~*~~
I finally have all of the paperwork I need to get my driver’s license renewed. I think. So today I’ll be doing that – my 3rd attempt, and I swear to GOD if they tell me I’m missing something and send me home again, I’m gonna scream. I have never had this much trouble proving who I am. Somehow I find it hard to believe that the U.P. has such a huge problem with nefarious characters that they need to be *this* ridiculously anal about documentation. This does not appear to be a hotbed of criminal activity. Oy.
On the subject of Michigan, I’ve had the “Mmmbop” song stuck in my head on repeat since August. AUGUST. That’s 6 months of mmmbop. Wanna know why?
Too bad, Imma tell you anyway.
Because there are signs ALL OVER Michigan for the Michigan Dept. of Transportation. Shortened to its initials of course.
The M-DOT.
MMM-DOT.
MMM-BOP.
Tags: kids
Uncategorized | kaya | 
Friday February 13th, 2009 8:21am
One of my daughter’s friends smokes pot. Thank goodness she moved to Maryland last summer. My daughter is mad at her for this, so perhaps I have done something right. This friend has also made out with boys. Judging from her reaction, my daughter has not done that with her ex-boyfriend. I am so not ready for all this.
There is also a dance at our school tonight – my girl and boy are going. I am so not ready for all this. You are right – it is so much easier when they were in diapers.
Thank goodness she moved to Maryland last summer.
What part of Maryland? I’m a native Marylander that hails from Prince Georges county.
I am not sure what county. But according to my daughter, everyone where she lives smokes pot and that they are all dumb for doing it.
There is something insidious about Mmmbop. Something that leads you to hear it repeatedly in your head. Further something that causes you to kind of hum and, uh, bop your head along to the music. Something that almost FORCES you to put in on your iPod. I think I am ashamed.
lol.. you are soo funny girl! i have lived in michigan all my life and i have never associated that song with m-dot…lol.
good luck with b- man and the dance and the girl…i have all boys and they “need” new shirts/pants/ties for every single dance they go to ( i swear boys are just as clothes conscious as girls!)
the grandbaby is beautiful!..lol
have fun with am and the family for the birhday dinner/ party- its soooooooo much fun embarrassing our kids!
hugs,
Hisflower
When I changed my social security card for getting married the only thing he had to see was my marriage certificate (and the ss files of course?). No drivers license. No nothing else. It was a little unnerving.
*kills MMMBop and M-DOT cuz both suck ass*
Now, on the turning in your own kid thing: I’ve done that. I turned Nate in for molesting Logan. M (the stepmother) couldn’t get a daycare license because of Nate either. It has to be done, whether it hurts you or not.
In Michigan btw, its Secretary of State that you need to see about the drivers license. We don’t go to MDot for those things here
Good luck with that. You’ll learn to hate SoS as much as others hate their driver agencies.
Cuuuuuuuuuuute baby bump!
In the state where I live, small amounts of pot are only subject to a $100 fine. And cops have said that they won’t even enforce that.
honestly, I wouldn’t call the police on my child for smoking pot. G and I have discussed a number of these scenarios (including sexual activity at a young age) and we might feel differently when we’re front and center with the situation but I don’t think so. When we were growing up underage drinking was illegal (still is) and our parents still served us alcohol at the dinner table (in controlled doses to be fair – but it cut the legs out from under us and our siblings when it came to rebelling there.) Pot… both G and I have experimented and I wouldn’t ever encourage my child, but neither would I go so fast to call the cops. For one thing, pot’s really pretty harmless. Addiction to drugs is a whole different issue, but I’m hoping to teach my children where recreation and responsibility both come into play in life.
I think you have be very careful about not inciting rebellion and instead instilling a sense of personal responsibility and awareness. Not to mention, both of us have to worry about being hypocrites if we forbid so much as being curious about drugs – which doesn’t sit well with us at all.
both of us have to worry about being hypocrites if we forbid so much as being curious about drugs
That kind of confuses me. I just don’t think that’s being hypocritical. I hear that a lot from parents who have a drug history or something and I don’t get it. Wouldn’t they want them to learn from their mistakes?
I was a smoker, I quit, and now I preach to my kids to not even start. Does that make me a hypocrite?
I’m hoping to teach my children where recreation and responsibility both come into play in life.
I think you have be very careful about not inciting rebellion and instead instilling a sense of personal responsibility and awareness.
This. Yes. I do need to do that rather than try and scare him out of it. Cuz that’s not going to work. :/
sorry it took a little while to get back to you – I don’t check very regularly
Yes, we would love for our children to learn from our mistakes – hell, if we could have just learned from the mistakes of our parents and everyone else we know then the two of us would be incredibly perfect
. What’s most likely though – based on both of our own histories with *our* parents – is that our children are going to learn from some mistakes we express and not others, the mistakes we don’t realize they see, and only the ones they choose to learn from. That last part is going to be especially true if our children are much like us at all :/
Because they’re going to pick what they want to hear and don’t want to hear, what they want to learn by listening and what they’ll have to learn by their own experiences, we’d rather not put anything into a forbidden category because we think it will shut down conversation and the opportunity to learn beyond the actual experience. There will be rules in our house up to a point, but we’re much much more focused on there being the constant opportunity for lessons rather than concrete boundaries. I don’t think telling your children not to smoke because of your history is hypocritical, I think if you told them that smoking was the evilest activity out there and worthy of being handed over to the authorities (even though you used to smoke) then that would be hypocritical.
Rambling a bit… did that make sense? email maybe would be a more productive conversation too…
Since it wasn’t so long ago since I was a teenager (and since I’ve been trying to read up more and more on family law), I’d ask you to please not turn him into the cops. Basically, if you do that and they take it seriously in your state, you could potentially be really screwing him over in life later on, taking away chances for college (he’ll probably have to report any juvi records on the applications if he’s still 17 when he applies, which he most likely will be). There are better ways to teach him a lesson that won’t have the same long term repercussions. Like: no video games, 100 hours of community service done in just a couple of months, etc. Also, I read this just the other day and it scared the heck outta me: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/29142654/
Granted, that’s probably not happening in your town, but you never know. The law HATES teenagers because they don’t know whether to classify them as children or adults, and it’s kind of a crapshoot of how your kid will be treated.
The scariest parents were the ones that take everything away and are strict with their kids. Also, if you’re really worried, you can buy at home drug testing kits.
Good luck with the baby and the birthday! Have a great time
^^^ This.
Don’t go calling the cops on him for smoking pot.
If he robs a bank, if he does a hit and run, if he murders someone then by all means call the cops.
If he tokes up? There’s better ways to deal with it as Tulsa said.
Hi stranger!
Absolutely, I’d try other avenues first. I guess I was hoping I could scare him away from it. I guess that probably won’t work though.
Just tell B-Man that smoking pot at his age will inhibit both brain development — and, more importantly to him at this age — sexual development — that is to say, his wee-wee, which is still growing, won’t get no bigger!
I know a guy who smoked a lot of pot in his early teens, and for a tall, lanky fellow, his thang is surprisingly small!
( http://www.livescience.com/health/090203-marijuana-brain.html )
This is a 2009 study which comes to different conclusions than accepted wisdom ( http://www.drugpolicy.org/marijuana/factsmyths /#psych ) but it just makes sense, really. Your brain is still developing. Don’t stuff psychoactive drugs into it! ( http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/02/090202175105.htm )
There is a page that says that *so far* there is no evidence for effecting sex development (http://www.drugpolicy.org/marijuana/factsmyths/#hormones) but at the same time, “Research suggests that marijuana alters hormone levels, which could interrupt growth and sexual development. THC levels in the brain affect the pituitary gland, which controls sex and reproductive functions. In boys and men, marijuana may cause a drop in testosterone and sperm production.” ( http://www.okstate.edu/ucs/ASAC/Windows/marijuana.html ) Also, the following link might be very good to send to him, as it covers the topics in very clear language:
“Growth & Sexual Development. Another hot spot that’s attracting serious scrutiny involves body systems that regulate growth and sexual development.
Interest here has heated up as the age of pot smokers has dropped. And as users’ ages have fallen, concern about possible risks have increased — and for good reason.
What’s known at the moment is that marijuana causes changes in hormone levels of users which could alter normal patterns of growth and sexual development.
In boys and men, it causes decreased blood levels of testosterone, the main male sex hormone. In women and girls, levels of two hormones drop following marijuana use.
Researchers aren’t sure if any serious problems result from reduced hormone levels in adults. What it could mean to younger people is another question, altogether.
And according to most experts, it’s as good a reason as any for kids to pass on pot altogether.” ( http://www.doitnow.org/pages/129.html )
In my mid twenties, I smoked pot pretty much daily for three years (for chronic pain management). I don’t think it did me any harm — although how would I know, really? But I do know that during that time I stopped using as many big words and I lost a great deal of intellectual curiosity and I made some pretty dumb choices that I had to in later years dig my way out of: staying with a partner I should have broken up with, despite the warning signs, and judging someone based on just one side of evidence, as a couple examples. I could have done either of those while stone-col’ sober, obviously, but maybe if I hadn’t had a head full of smoke, I might have seen things clearer. Anyway, pot did help me with my health at the time, but I got habituated (not addicted — pot isn’t addicting unless you’re one of those people who’ll get addicted to anything) and I kept smoking after it was time to move on to different solutions. Getting un-habituated was not particularly fun (not hard or painful, just not fun) and now I have trouble enjoying it because I can sense my intelligence being shut down when I smoke it, and that’s upsetting, esp. in social situations (which is of course where I tend to get offered some.)
My advice as a parent is to not be too inflexible, because then he won’t come to you for help. If he smoked pot once or twice a year it wouldn’t hurt him at all. But maybe if you explain that his brain and body could be effected by pot smoking, and that he should wait until he’s an adult to give it a go, that would make sense to him and you’d still come off as a “cool mom”?
Good luck!!!
“that is to say, his wee-wee, which is still growing, won’t get no bigger!”
For serious -that might work!
You can’t make me listen to that damn song! Noooo!!! *runs screaming with my ears covered*
Smoking pot can cause brain damage. I work in Mental Health and have met people who smoked pot, it messed them up and they have developed schizoprenia. It is a really damgerous psychoactive drug that is dangerous even in really small ammounts.
As for MMM Bop, I think its the work of the devil ( a blonde devil)
Ever thought that they smoked to try to deal with their mental illness?
Reading causal relationships into co-existing facts does not bring clarity to the issue. It’s like saying that most people with mental health problems have used alcohol (as most do in western society) therefore alcohol causes mental health problems. There are issues around the effect of smoking on the developing brains, but simplistic assertions are not going to help put kids off. They really aren’t that stupid.
Thank you.
Since you asked – My 2 cents
Sir says – Parents have to let their kids make mistakes. Some of these mistakes will have personal consequences that may or may not affect the rest of your life (getting in trouble with Mom, friends thinking bad of you, etc.) while others will have public consequences that will affect the rest of your life and the lives of those around you (getting arrested, going to jail, hurting someone else, getting pregnant).
We take the time to talk to ours about consequences and roll through some of them. Like I’ve told Jenn (and I firmly believe) that one of the least harmful outcomes of having unprotected sex is getting pregnant, and that is still a pretty serious outcome; consequently, she could get herpes, or aids. When we talk about drugs, I approach it from the standpoint that I know she has been or will be exposed to drugs and ask her how she feels about that and what is she going to do. We talk about different drugs and she has told me that she doesn’t think pot is bad. I bring up people (adults) that she has an idea that they smoke pot and we talk about where they are in their life, how getting high and playing frisbee don’t sound like very sane priorities for a 40 year old, etc. etc.
The bottom line is, it is B’s decision to make and he’s gonna make it when you’re not around (haha, unless he has a death wish). So I think it’s your job to help prepare him to make the best decision. Talk about what he thinks he would get out of it. Is being high really important to him. Ask him questions about what would happen if he gets caught. I even went as far as talking to Jenn about getting drugs that are bad and what she would do if she or one of her friends overdosed. (BTW, I told her that she is to always call 911 and then call us, she should not be so afraid of consequences that she would let one of her friends die or go without medical treatment.)
**this is where I get sneaky** I usually talk to mine about it when we’re in the car, so she doesn’t have to look at me but she can’t walk away either. I turn off the radio and come up with something out of the blue like “So, who do you know that’s smoking pot these days (or insert, having sex, drinking beer, stealing cigs, etc.). That’s her clue that we’re gonna have a talk and it’s even caught her offguard so much that she’s said “Ya know, Jimmy and Bobby, but I don’t think their serious about it.” I always get more information than I thought I would and it gives me an opportunity to tell her that I trust her decisions and I know she will do the right thing when it comes to drugs.
Between us parents, I don’t trust her, she’s a teenager for Christ’ sakes. I would put the odds at about 99.9% that she’ll smoke pot one day and I’m not gonna turn her in (but her life will completely suck for a long time). Most of all, I want her to be safe, but I know she’s going to make some mistakes and I just hope she (and everyone around her) survive her bad choices. God knows I made a lot of them and thankfully, I didn’t have to suffer any dire consequences.
There’s my long winded opinion.
~hugs~
junebug
Thank you for this. A lot.
Well, while it IS technically illegal, and as a user for medical purposes, I’ve had to do a lot of thinking on this, too.
If I had a child ask me about drugs, or I suspected use, I would have a sit-down with them. I’d ask what they knew, and correct any wrong ideas they had about something.
But something consistent in our family IS the pot use. I’m at LEAST a 4th generation smoker. My grandma always told me that she would prefer me, if I ever smoked pot, to do it on the property, where I wouldn’t get in trouble, and I would be safe. If I had a child, that is the same way I feel. I’d greatly prefer that they didn’t do it in their room, but we would probably have a separate room where Master and I smoke.
And something that I like that Master’s mum did, was always tell them that she wouldn’t mind so much if they kept their grades up. So I’d let it be unless their grades start slipping, and THEN the threats may come.
For someone who doesn’t intend on having children, I have put waaaay too much thought into this.
Wow, turning your kid in for smoking pot. Seriously? Just because it’s illegal? Though I don’t know your state’s laws, I’m pretty certain that beating your wife is illegal, even if it is consensual, so should Scott be turned in for beating you? Of course not! I don’t know where the commenters above me got their information, but weed is a fairly harmless drug. Hell, the beatings you get from Scott have the potential to be more harmful than weed. Are people really still this ignorant and misinformed when it comes to drugs, specifically weed? Seriously?
I know you gotta punish your kid for doing drugs and he shouldn’t really be smoking at his age, but damn, turning him in? I don’t know, it just seems a harsh punishment for smoking a natural substance that was unfortunately made illegal and criminalized by a bunch of assholes. But, he’s your kid and I certainly won’t tell you how to raise him. Best of luck to you in dealing with this.
The difference with what Master and I do is that we’re adults and can make those decisions. My kid is 13. He cannot.
And I didn’t say I would turn him in, I said I told HIM I would turn him..lol. I’m trying to scare him away from it before he gets caught by someone who WILL turn him in. Or something like that.
Either way, no, I wouldn’t turn him in. I’d use other methods first.
“And I didn’t say I would turn him in, I said I told HIM I would turn him. lol. I’m trying to scare him away from it before he gets caught by someone who WILL turn him in. Or something like that.”
Oh, I see. I sure did think you were actually going to turn him in for smoking. lol I agree with others, though, that that will probably just backfire on you. With my nephews, I was simply straight with them about it. I told them that it was best to leave the stuff alone until they are older, but that if they decide to smoke once they had reached the age of adulthood, that it was illegal and they can use it if they choose, but then they are to be responsible for their actions should they get caught. From my experience, simply putting the fear of something into kids doesn’t work, or at least not for very long.
And, hey, maybe B-man hasn’t smoked it. Now don’t laugh. I’m truly not being naive lol My parents were very anti-drugs, even weed. Hell, I was anti-drugs until I got older and realized it was all lies. Not my parents, but the anti-drug propaganda. I have no problem being around people who smoke without doing so myself. Hell, I’ve been around harder drugs and never used any of the stuff. It is possible. So, yeah, maybe…just maybe, the kid has stayed clean.
I have been a long time reader, and a never-commenter, simply because I don’t enjoy being redundant and usually by the time I’ve read you have a bajillion witty posts complimenting your wit and outlook, so I just sit back and leave the flattery to the pros.
However, I’m going to weigh in here.
There’s a LOT of anti-drug propaganda out in the world, a lot. Chances are there isn’t anything you can say that is anything worse than what he’s heard from teachers, television, etc. Drugs fund terrorism, pot makes you no fun, pot is a GATEWAY Drug (gateway to what? only thing it’s ever lead me to is the fucking fridge). From a youthful perspective, having recently had a lot of my younger siblings come to me, rather than their parents, about drug advice, the best thing you can do is be realistic – and yes, that means admitting that pot, and a good measure of the other mind altering substances out there aren’t as bad as school and everyone else really wants you to believe.
Be honest, as one poster said, give the FACTS, ie. doing drugs before he’s finished developing will screw over his wang size and his virility/stamina. Threatening to turn him in will only make a teenager resent you, and quite frankly, be more likely to go do it to bite his thumb at “the (wo)man.” Yes, it is an illegal activity, so instead of threatening to turn him in, research the legalities of what could happen if he was caught intoxicated on it, if he was caught using, etc. Real consequences are a lot scarier than mom saying she’s going to turn you in, because almost no teenager will believe you’d do that, and you yourself admitted to not doing it.
If he’s going to do it, he’s going to do it. The best you can hope for is that if he does do it, he knows FULL well what he’s getting in too (that means realistic health concerns – toking up once because he falls to peer pressure isn’t going to have any real long-term consequences). Sorry I’m rambling so long on here, but, half the reason teenagers rebel so hard and do things like drinking and drugs in excess is because they are made to seem so very rebellion-ful and taboo heavy.
So, one more time. Realistic consequences produced in a logical fashion, realistic punishments (things Kaya would actually do if he was caught, not threaten to do to scare him) so that if it happens there’s no ‘HOW COULD YOU DO THIS OUTRAGE?!?” And y’know, a healthier, more realistic outlook on drugs and their consequences in general.
Two wrongs don’t make a right.
Two Wrights made an airplane.
…and in Michigan, three rights make a left!
Okay, I’ve been thinking about my earlier response and I’ve got a different perspective to throw out there…
When my sister died, my neice was 14 and I became her parent (Dad was out of the picture). She was soooo afraid of doing anything to disappoint me and I was soooo afraid of letting her mom down that she was turned out to be the perfect kid. Never in trouble, never experimented with anything, perfect grade point average, full scholarship to college. The problem was, we were both scared to death when she left for college. She wasn’t prepared. She had never made poor decisions and never had consequences. She wanted me to keep making all of her decisions and I couldn’t be there to shelter her like I had for the past 5 years. She has done very, very well and I am so proud of her, BUT, I did not help her prepare for the real world and it scared the shit out of me.
I think kids making mistakes and suffering the consequences of those mistakes are all part of growing up. We can shelter them, but we’re not really doing them any favors in the long run. B is going to make his own poor choices just like Jess has and he will hopefully feel the wrath of God (yanno, Momma Bear and Master). It’s just part of growing up.
Bottom line, all kids are different and choose their own paths as you already know.
take care,
junebug
Hey,
I am a long time reader! I just love reading you! I just had to comment about the whoel calling the cops on your kid. I perosnalyl have never done drugs or any of that, but one of my friends ( my best friend actually)has, And judging by the way she reacts and the person she has become I would say put a stop to it immediately. She started doing drugs when we were about 14 or 15 years old. What started as a once a month thing turned into a once a week thing. Eventually it was an every other day thing. God onyl knows where she was getting the money from. She eventually quit, went from C’s and D’s in school to A’s and B’s,but picked up smoking ciggs. I think pot is the starter drug, after high school and we had jobs, she became addicted to cocaine. Now she had more money to waste. She would get paid and blow it all on pot and cocaine. Today we are both 22 and she is still doing pot often. It’s a real shame, she had so much potential, and now she can’t hold down job,every month it’s a different job. And all her money is gone before it’s even seen. And her parents act liek they are completely oblivious to all this, even when she tells them straight out what she is about to do..So if calling the cops is wha you have to do to bash it into his brain that it isn’t good, then do so, becasue I don’t think anyone would want my friend’s life.
Kaya,
Congrats on the upcoming G-mom-hood.
As for B-man, as a bachelor, I’m probably least qualified to venture an opinion on anything child related, but I wouldn’t turn him into the cops the first time. The potential for burning bridges as a parent are so huge there. Also, you don’t want to have his primary role models for a year or two be the teen criminals in juvenile detention.
That said, putting the hammer down hard is called for. Contrary to what Eliot tries to claim above, the facts are that pot is a dangerous drug. maybe you can’t OD and die, but it is at least as harmful as alcohol and is even more harmful. Pot is NOT natural, hemp is. Natural hemp won’t give anyone a high. It takes human intervention to force the plant to grow radically different from what God intended and concentrate the THC levels enough to give a high. Today’s pot is even more potent than the pot available when I was a tween, with proportionally higher risks.
Beyond the legal issues, pot use is saying that I can only have fun if I’m not in full control of my faculties. It breeds the attitudes and habits that lead to binge drinking and harder drugs (note, I didn’t say pot use causes use of other drugs, just that it reinfoces the habits that lead to them). Personally, I had a college roommate who used pot and the second hand smoke from pot was far worse than the second hand smoke from cigs, odorwise.
One thing you might do is pretend to have him arrested. if you have a cop who’s a friend, he can possibly taske him in and pretend to process him and leave him in a holding cell for an hour or two (suitably watched, of course). Seeing those consequences without experiencing them might give him something to think of. Food for thought.
Dave
Contrary to what Eliot tries to claim above, the facts are that pot is a dangerous drug. maybe you can’t OD and die, but it is at least as harmful as alcohol and is even more harmful.
That sentence didn’t really make much sense; “…it is at least as harmful as alcohol and is even more harmful.” Not only does it not make sense, it is untrue. Pot is much LESS physically harmful. 1. Alcohol is physically addictive. Pot is not. 2. Alcohol interferes with every major internal organ one has – think of the long list of illnesses that chronic drinking can cause (liver issues, kidney issues, ulcers, etc.). Pot affects your lungs, but not even to the extent that cigarettes do. There are ways to get pot into your system without smoking it (eating it, vaporizors) which eliminate that little risk, too.
Today’s pot is even more potent than the pot available when I was a tween, with proportionally higher risks.
There is much evidence that pot is actually NOT any more potent today than it was ‘back in the day.’ Generally, if people are smoking potent weed, they just smoke less of it. Evidence states that users ‘typically prefer milder strains’ and that far more potent strains than are typically smoked today were available even then. A nice antecdotal quote: “Kids today aren’t getting any more stoned than their parents were. That should be the end of the argument.” Beyond that, when speaking of marijuana in plant form, 15% potency is extremely high – marijuana in legal, available pill form? 100% potency.
pot use is saying that I can only have fun if I’m not in full control of my faculties. It breeds the attitudes and habits that lead to binge drinking and harder drugs (note, I didn’t say pot use causes use of other drugs, just that it reinfoces the habits that lead to them).
Smoking pot isn’t saying that one can ONLY have fun if one is not in full control of one’s faculties. It’s used more as a way to enhance fun; it’s a little bonus, if you will. I’ve never met a single smoker who’s unable to have fun, or function, or anything of the sort without weed. It just acts as an aid.
For the record, I’m not a pot smoker. I am an advocate for decriminalization, legalization, and responsible use though. I think that it’s been demonized by generations of ‘reefer madness’ and that ignorance is our downfall in this area.
Kaya, I hope you don’t mind the banther here; I feel guilty using the comments of your journal to have a conversation. No one reads mine though, LOL.
*Hugs*
Thank you for this comment. I was gobsmacked by Dave’s comment and just annoyed more than anything, so I wasn’t capable of writing a response without losing my cool. And I’d rather not just be a dick on kaya’s journal. lol
I should know better than to wonder aloud if ignorance about drugs is still alive and well when of course it is. Silly Eliot.
Elliot,
My appologies for being annoying. Teaches me to post comments when I’m not all there. We do agree on one thing, there’s a lot of ignorance and misinformation about pot.
I understand you’re information comes from sources you trust. So does mine come from sources I trust. I wonder if there’s a source we both would trust? I suspect that whatever that source is, hasn’t said anything about the subject. it seems that only groups with inherent biases bother weighing in on the issue. Ce La Vie.
Dave
Taken,
I’ve seen some of the facts you’re citing, as well as the one’s I’ve cited (among others). The dilema I see myself (and others) is just who do you believe? On the one hand you have people saying that an illegal substance is, in fact, dangerous and should remain illegal for the protection of the public (example, no one seriously advocates legalization of meth–and no I’m NOT equating the two). On the other hand, you have people claiming that the illegal substance is safe and harmless (or as harmless as any substance can be). Both sets of information come from sources that can only be described as having a biased viewpoint and both sources cite reputable scientific sources (at least as far as anyone can tell about them). Add to that the fact that the internet is the greatest source of MIS-information in the whole of history (as well as good info) and you have to make a choice. I choose to believe that the weight of anti-pot info, and a belief that most laws are genuinely meant to protect the public makes pot much more likely to be dangerous and I will act and speak as if it is, in fact, dangerous.
As for the attitudes of pot users, I’m just quoting personal experience. I’ve known several pot users personally, and every single one that I’ve know in person has had the very attitude I’ve noted, “it’s not fun if I’m not high.” If you know pot users that are otherwise, I’m thrilled. Of course, I have to add the caviot that all the pot users I’ve known were 20ish college students living in dorms in the late 70s. I may be dealing with a skewed sample.
Dave
I’ve only done pot once, and it seriously didn’t do jack shit to me. No high, no buzz, nothing. I’m not sure if it was due to me not breathing it in right or me not smoking enough of it to get high from it. However, I have no intentions of ever trying it again. It’s not because I didn’t get high, but it is still illegal (yes…it’s illegal in Sweden too) and it just doesn’t do a thing for me healthwise or anything. Smoking was the same way (except that’s legal) and it’s not healthy. My drug is caffeine in the form of cola, tea, chocolate, and frappacinos galore when I come back home to the states (since Sweden is still Starbucksless).
As mentioned on one of the previous entries, I did tell my mom I smoked pot. However, I did this while we were watching That 70s Show and she started yammering about how she wanted to try pot and dye her hair purple (she never did any of those things, btw…considering this was six years ago). She wasn’t angry, but I guess kinda surprised. My brother and dad tried it once before too.
My understanding (not so much personally as through the grapevine) is an actual high from the drug doesn’t always occur the first time. Sometimes, it can take up to five tries to feel anything.
Kinda like how beer is an acquired taste…maybe.
Sometimes, it can take up to five tries to feel anything.
Kinda like how beer is an acquired taste…maybe.
Probably…it’s a good thing that I’m not into pot because my SO cannot stand the smell of it. It makes him nausous.
I have to wonder about your sense of proportionality here. Calling the cops on your kid for smoking dope vs condoning teenage pregnancy seems really weird. No plausible amount of marijuana is going mess up his life the way a kid in high school will hers.
Calling the cops just might.
Frank
Never saw her condone her daughter’s pregnancy. She is merely accepting her daughter’s wish to keep her pregnancy and supporting her in order to ensure a healthy child and a healthy, happy mother.
“She is merely accepting her daughter’s wish to keep her pregnancy and supporting her in order to ensure a healthy child and a healthy, happy mother.”
Excellently put and accurate.
Wow, kaya, way to stir up some controversy
Turning them in… the first time, I probably wouldn’t. But you can bet your ass that his life would totally SUCK long term as a consequence.
My oldest is 14 – and when I look at who he is and what he’s doing at this age, it scares the shit outta me. He talks to me about some stuff, but not as much as I’d like. I’m ok with that because he has aunts and uncles that are in their late teens/early 20’s that he’s comfortable talking to a little more. And they know my limits, so know when they need to come to me with something, as opposed to just talking to him.
Here’s the thing… this isn’t a black and white issue. There’s so many opinions on it, and all have valid points. It’s illegal. So is wife beating. It’s natural – no, it’s not. In it’s pure form, maybe, but the shit that’s out there isn’t pure. And it’s a helluva lot stronger than it was when we were kids.
I thought it was ‘no big deal’ when I was 12 and I started drinking and smoking pot here and there. Then it was more frequent, etc. Then there was the night that we couldn’t get in touch with our regular supplier, so we went elsewhere, and made the stupid decision to step things up a little, moving on to snorting coke and heroin. I was FOURTEEN. And since everyone had “lied” to me about how bad weed was, then they had lied to me about the harder stuff, too, as far as I was concerned.
Within a year, at 14 years old, I was in residential rehab for heroin and crack addiction. And ya know what? It all started with just smoking a little bit of pot. The weed didn’t put me there, but it started me on the path that got me there. It’s a miracle I lived through some of the stupid shit I did while I was high – let alone all the drugs I put into my system. This June, I’ll be clean 16 years… so I beat it. But I wouldn’t wish that path on anyone. A teenager isn’t equipped to make those decisions, despite what some may think.
So… yeah, I think taking a hard assed approach is the way to go. I wish my mother would have done that, but she was too drunk to notice… maybe then my road would have been a little different.
lalana
That’s like saying alcohol leads to cannabis use because people who use it have all used alcohol.
For some reason people always make logistical leaps on this topic which simply can’t be supported statistically or logically.
We need to stick to sensible statistics and science if we are to convince young kids that smoking ruins their brains.
Me? I’d rather see a campaign against alcohol abuse. It ruins WAY more lives yet is perfectly acceptable. It’s a pity drinking isn’t frowned upon more in my opinion.
At least you don’t live in Sarasota here. The initials for their transit system is S.C.A.T. I kid you not.
If you turn him in then you’ll have DHS (or whatever they call it in your state) up your ass for literally years. They will be all in your shit. Better to handle it at home.
My boyfriend did almost every drug as a teenager. He was binge drinking by 15. He’s cleaned up now and drinks sometimes, doesn’t do drugs anymore. While it doesn’t seem to have had immensely significant long-term consequences. It certainly has had SOME long-term consequences.
However just because he hasn’t been significantly affected doesn’t mean your kiddo won’t be.
That also said: I would never turn a kid in on the first time. There are limits. First time is not it. It drives children away and destroys trust completely. Not talking from my own experience but from friends who have had this happen. It takes a long time to rebuild the trust.
Hi, kaya,
I haven’t posted here in several years while I took a sabbatical from the lifestyle. However, I do feel the need to comment on this particular topic.
Instead of telling you how to handle it, I’d like to share what living with a man that started pot and alcohol use at 14 years of age did to me. First of all, since it is illegal, he had learned over the years how to hide his use, including from me for a while. So, when I married him, I had no idea that he was using. It was only after being married a few months that I realized what he was doing. It was never in front of me or in our home. In other words, he learned to be an expert at deception, which is not necessarily a lesson that a parent wants a kid to learn for later use in life and relationships.
I also discovered that he had no idea how to deal with conflict. During any argument or disagreement, it was like dealing with a young teenager. He had zero skills in working through conflict or negociating. After divorcing, I discovered from a family member, who was a recovering drug abuser, that using drugs(including pot) at an early age stunts emotional and mental development. A person “grows up” by facing and working through problems. If they never do that because they get “high” instead, then they never emotionally or mentally grow up. As my relative said, “Growing up at age 40 is much harder than when you’re a teenager.”
The fall-out from that failed marriage has life long implications. So, I guess my suggestion is to decide if you want to take the chance on your child going through all that. If you don’t, then only you can decide what consequences are needed.
All my best to you and yours, dear lady!
Melonie
LOL! Kaya, I think I love you. You have such a…way with words.
As for B-man and herb, I do not recommend the legal route. If he is convicted of drug offenses, he will not be eligible for government aid for college. He will have to report it on his FAFSA and he will be denied aid accordingly. Deal with it at home. Take away his Xbox, make him spitshine the house, but it’s not in his best interests to call the cops over maryjane.
OMG that belly is seriously gorgeous.
I am a nanna already, three years before the age of 40. I was horrified at first, but soon got used to it and take every opportunity to play the nanna card every chance I get.
You go girl!
xox
To me, personally, it’s so odd that people smoke pot, tobacco or drink alcohol, or do drugs. It’s so far removed from my reality, that I just can’t grasp it. I’m 20, and I’ve never done any of those things, I haven’t even tasted alcohol. I’ve never hung around people who did those things either, choosing to conciously avoid them. That it is as common as the other replies make it seem, just blows my mind… seriously? It is?
So. Yeah. I really don’t know what to say to it.
I’ll just go for the baby-bump: Are you sure there’s only one in there?
Four months along, you said… that’d be after the throwing up and pre-bladder problems, right?
Oh, yes. I wanted to share this with you:
http://muffinsbunsandbiscuits.blogspot.com/2008/01/for-all-mothers-building-their-own.html
I love that blog, but sadly she hasn’t updated in forever.
Wtf? I just left another comment and it disappeared!
Well, here’s the link: http://muffinsbunsandbiscuits.blogspot.com/2008/01/for-all-mothers-building-their-own.html
It’s the links. Any comment that contains a link is sent to the spam folder first. :/
She’s closer to 5, but yeah, she’s got a bump.
It *should* have been after the throwing up but she’s apparently doing that backwards. She only threw up one time through the whole first trimester and is now starting to get sick fairly frequently.
I has no sympathy.
I wonder what God thought when he had that idea. “Oh wee, I know! When the baby needs nutrition, I’ll just make the mother puke it all up! Won’t that be hilarious?”
I watched the video and listened (well, over 1/2 anyway before relieving my ears from their appointed duty). I don’t find anything “catchy” about it, but I’m not surprised as I’m not particularly all-encompassing where music is concerned.
I have to tell ya – I tried to do the jazz music and I just couldn’t. I really don’t like it..lol.
Unless you know a cop, I’d suggest not calling the police on him. A criminal record at his age could really screw up his future, sadly. I have a friend who’s husband was arrested at 17 for a small amount of marijuana and was convicted. They can’t have children and now can’t adopt because of his juvenile record even though it was sealed when he turned 18. But then… it really is up to you. Whatever seems to work best with him is probably the best route.
As for marijuana causing brain damage and mental illnesses… I, too, worked in mental health. It just plain does not. The government, years ago, put out a study they “fixed” to show bad results as a scare tactic. They’ve since put out new studies with the truth.
The new studies show that it only “causes” mental illness when the person in question already has a predisposition to mental illness, meaning that, more likely than, not they would have eventually developed it anyway.
It’s funny to read this right now, because I am actually in the process of composing a journal entry related to marijuana and my stance on it. This is even more motivation to write it.
That IS a cute baby belly…and DAYUM, is she ripped or teensy or what? To have a bump AND still have the, yanno, whatever-they’re-called hips? I am so jealous – I just looked fat, and looked fat, and then looked…HUGE. Maybe I’ll post pictures in my own LJ and walk down memory lane.
Happy birthday, Am, a little late, btw.
Oh.
http://www.drugpolicy.org/marijuana/factsmyths/
(I chose this site just because the studies are listed. It seems to be the kellymom.com for pot. I’m not posting the link to debate it, just putting it out there.)
In my humble opinion it would be a really bad idea to turn him in for smoking pot. You’d probably screw up his life in certain areas like finding a job or a good school (depending what the police decide to do when it comes to keeping records of course).
Smoking pot might be a illegal over there but hitting/beating/whipping/caning/etc. your wife is illegal as well most probably. I’m not saying you should let him continue to smoke it, I’m just saying that just the fact that something is illegal doesn’t always mean that you should involve the authorities. There are other ways to scare him away from it.
Listen to it. I dare ya
Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!
Also, that’s such a cute belly!
What a cute belly
And may I just say that if you want to bust him for pot, make sure you’re also willing to bust him if he drinks under the age of 21 and if he starts smoking cigs before he’s 18. Because that’s illegal too. Just saying.
Honestly, it might be better to just sit down and talk to him about his concerns instead of raising the threat flag. But that’s just the therapist in me talking so feel free to ignore her if you want.
Comparing illegal drug use to pregnancy, alcohol, cigarettes or spousal abuse is comparing apples to oranges.
Currently, the fine for a youth in possession of tobacco is $50 for each offense and 16, 32 and 48 hours of community service for the 1st, 2nd or 3rd violation, respectively.
Drinking: First Offense: Misdemeanor $100; Community service
and/or rehabilitative programs; deferral possible.
In Michigan, possession of any amount of marijuana is a misdemeanor that carries a $2,000 fine and a maximum of a year in jail. Actually smoking marijuana (a separate crime) in any location, including your house, is also a misdemeanor, but will only get you 90 days in jail and a $100 fine. – A more serious crime is smoking marijuana in a public or private park, which can even be deemed a felony at a judge’s discretion, and this crime carries a 2 years sentence.
Yes, the activities are all illegal, but it’s a bit like comparing speeding and murder. There are levels of seriousness, in my opinion. And drugs, to ME, are way higher up on the seriousness scale. Maybe because I just don’t do them and don’t really get people who do. I don’t CARE if y’all wanna do them, doesn’t mean I think you’re a bad person – I just don’t get it. *shrug*
Pregnancy isn’t illegal and I’m not condoning it. There’s just nothing I can do about it. Meh. I can’t make her un-pregnant. I also can’t do anything about B-man having already smoked it.
The spousal abuse wouldn’t be on his record so it’s a moot point. Besides, Master and I, as *adults* choosing to take the risk of an illegal activity/arrest is not even in the same arena as a 13 year old deciding the same. There is a reason why there are legal ages of consent, legal age of adulthood, etc. 13 isn’t it. (yes, I am fine with hypocrisy if that’s the angle.)
It’s interesting that I’m told not to turn him in because then I’d be giving him a criminal record that would negatively affect his future – yet, he’s running that very same risk all by himself. Which is what worries me and I’m trying to NOT have happen. I don’t WANT him to have a record, I’m only threatening it. *beams*
I told him I would call the cops. My hope (naive and incorrect as it may be) is that if one of his little hoodlum friends hands him a joint to hold or to bring home, he thinks twice about doing it. That way, should it be a cop who stops him, he doesn’t have it in his pocket.
Would *I* turn him in though? Probably not. Almost definitely not. I would pursue other avenues first – drug counseling, etc. But I can’t sit idly by while he makes stupid life-altering decisions that have serious consequences behind them**.
As for the battle between the health risks of alcohol vs. smoking vs. marijuana – I preach against all of them. But fair or not, alcohol or cigarettes aren’t illegal and so my concern, right now, is less the health risk and more the criminal record risk.
**I did not sit idly by while Jes got pregnant either. I took her for birth control. I bought the pill for her. I watched her take it. We talked about pregnancy and babies and STD’s. When she started on an antibiotic, I took her to get condoms, explaining to her that antibiotics can negate the effectiveness of b.c. pills. But she got herself knocked up anyway. My chosen option at this point is to support her.
Just as I would support my son if he were to get arrested for drug possession. I’d help pay his fine, drive him to his community service, work to keep him outta jail if possible, or whatever else he’d be ordered to do. Is that condoning it or is that dealing with the consequences? Maybe it is condoning it. Maybe I’m blinder than I thought?
I dunno. I just can’t wait until they are all 18.
I hope you don’t mind my reply. Honestly, I’m just enjoying the debate. (Maybe I’m starved for intelligent conversation or something?)
I don’t think that comparing marijuana use to other things, even if they’re not seemingly related, is apples to oranges. You’re making the decision to engage in something that you know is illegal. What you’re banking on is…not getting caught. I think that’s exactly the same thing in both instances.
The key point, though, is that you ARE adults, and B is not. Obviously, that’s where the issue lies, and I can’t blame you one bit for wanting to cut things off at the pass.
However, just like Jes…you did all the things you could do, and she still got pumped up. I absolutely understand what you mean by your attempting to ’scare him straight’ by telling him you’ll turn him in. My concern would be that, because he’s scared of getting caught at home, he’d be more apt to do it in places like a friend’s house, a park, a parking lot and get busted. I guess we’re looking at the same action causing opposite effects?
I’m not saying I condone pot smoking in teenagers; I absolutely don’t. I’m just not so far away from teenagehood that I’ve forgotten it – I was damn well going to do what I wanted, and hope for the best, no matter what my parents said or did.
Generally when you post about your kids, I applaud you. I think you are a wonderful mother (goodness knows I could’ve used one like you, LOL). I wonder, though…do you ever think you’re enabling them to make bad choices? You’re supporting Jes with her pregnancy (I can understand emotional support – I personally think a pregnant teenager should deal with the financial support of a child they choose to bring into the world) and you stated you’d help B pay fines and such if he were to get busted. Granted at 13 he can’t exactly get a job, but it sometimes seems to me like you act as a buffer to life’s natural consequences to bad decisions.
I hope you see that ^^ as it’s meant, which is seriously just my conversing. I never judge you, kaya, since I try not to judge anyone…and while I only know you from your journal, I love what I know of you and your family. *Hugs* Kids suck, eh?
do you ever think you’re enabling them to make bad choices?
Oh hell yes. That question keeps me awake at night. Well, probably the truth of the answer keeps me awake more so than the question.
Thing is – I just don’t know what to DO about it.
I mean it sounds so easy to say “Um, don’t pay for it?” but how does that work, you know? She’s 17, she has no job (and can’t get one. It’s not that she won’t or doesn’t try to get one – she *can’t* get hired.) so she has zero income, the baby is coming, she *needs* prenatal care, she needs vitamins (because she is still my kid. I still, with every mom-bone in my body, need to know that she, first and foremost, is healthy. Isn’t that my job, too?) –
So what do I do? How do I *not* “enable” this? I seriously don’t know. Do I not make sure she has access to doctors, do I kick her out and just hope she finds a place to live, hope she has adequate food, hope she’s warm and safe, hope she makes to a hospital to give birth, hope the baby has enough food…
Honest to God – I don’t know what I’m supposed to do NOW. I did everything I was supposed to do to try and prevent it and that didn’t work so.. I’m completely lost here.
As for paying B-man’s fines – it’s my understanding that when a minor is fined by the courts, it’s actually the parents who are fined. We would have to pay anyway. What I meant by “help him pay” was that we’d pay it (cuz we hafta) and he would, somehow, someday, someway, pay us back. Which is also our plan – sort of- with Jes. We’re not keeping a running total, but there will be some retribution.
We have a clear plan for her, one she is working on. She’s in the process of getting her GED and from there, CNA classes. By the time she’s 18 (Next Dec. so roughly 10 months to complete GED and CNA, and that allows her several months to be home full-time with her baby – which is about the soonest she can get a job, we live in a college town, there isn’t one place we’ve checked that doesn’t have an age limit for new hires (18 yrs) – there is just too much competition with the college students.
CNA is an almost guaranteed job – especially considering that the place she can get certified will train for free if you agree to work there. And it’ll be a good job for her, plus give her job options wherever she ends up.. cna’s can work almost anywhere.
So we *have* sat down with her and discussed just how much we will, and will not, do. Abortion is not optional, we’re all pro-life so I cannot even begin to think that’s the route she should have gone, nor could I have lived with myself had she had one because she felt so alone and so helpless and so out of options that she chose to do that. Adoption is not an option she’s willing to take right now, probably because she *isn’t* doing this alone YET. Adoption may very well become an option when the full responsibilities of parenting weight on her – because guess who isn’t going to act as mom? Me. The crib is in her room, that’s her child, not ours.
Heh. And surely you wanted to know ALL of this about Jes, right?
Suffice it to say, that is the million dollar question every parent asks. No doubt there are some who think I’m doing it all wrong, but I can only do what feels right at the time, you know? I don’t know any other way to do it.
My concern would be that, because he’s scared of getting caught at home, he’d be more apt to do it in places like a friend’s house, a park, a parking lot and get busted. I guess we’re looking at the same action causing opposite effects?
Probably. But the alternative, telling him to do it here, is so far off my okay-meter that I can’t even fathom it. To me, I might as well light it up and hand it to him if I’m going to tell him to do it here because I’m afraid he’ll get caught somewhere else. I understand that, just like Jes and sex, he’s probably going to do it anyway, but I just can’t see giving permission for it just because he’s going to do it anyway.
I can see having serious discussions about my reasons for wanting him not to do it. I can see telling him under no uncertain circumstances is he to bring it in our house. I can see telling him that *no matter what* should he ever be too afraid to call us if he is in trouble- needs a ride home- needs help.. whatever.
I can see a lot of things. It’s *doing* them that gives me shits.
I swear half of parenting is like being a bomb defuser guy – standing there with a pair of scissors, going “the red wire or the blue wire, red or blue, RED OR FUCKING BLUE?!?!” and then turning your head and holding your breath when you snip- hoping you’ve diffused it and not set it off.
And wouldn’t you know, every kid is wired differently. :/
(seriously? Loving the conversation.
)
I’m glad it’s enjoyable to you, too, instead of some stranger just…all up in your business, LOL.
I can’t honestly say what I would do in your shoes. I have a boy, so my thoughts have always been, “If the kid is dumb enough to knock someone up, he’ll damn sure pay for it.” Even if he’s twelve and has to earn cash mowing lawns, yanno? I can’t fathom having a pregnant daughter.
I WAS a pregnant daughter, though. But I’ve been on my own since I was 15, so my parents paying for it (even with retribution) wasn’t an option at all. I might consider tossing a pregnant daughter out, attempting to file for emancipation, and hoping for the best. I might strongly encourage abortion, because I am not pro-life. Adoption is something I may push, because being a teen mommy sucks balls; but I couldn’t give up a child I carried, so I would actually be less apt to encourage that than abortion if keeping the baby wasn’t the route taken. I might do exactly what you’re doing. I can’t know, yanno? I do think that what you’re doing is MUCH healthier an alternative (for everyone, including Jes herself) than giving into her crazy requests that you foot the bill and allow her to do nothing. (Gah…wouldn’t that be nice, though? I mean…I can see why she’d hope for that. I think sometimes I STILL hope for that!)
I may have wanted to know all that about her, because I am nosy as all hell, LOL.
I think that our viewpoints on marijuana are different in that you’re hoping he doesn’t do it, or at least doesn’t do much of it, and I just kind of expect it. Honestly, pot is the least of my worries. I can see my boy, already, on the fast track to prison. Sometimes I’m only kidding when I say that, and sometimes I look at him and his personality and think it’s probably bound to happen.
Your bomb diffuser analogy? Right on. Spot the hell on. Of course, they probably told us that in the damn lost manual, but since we never got copies…
Ya know, I think what you are doing is awesome because I did the same thing. When my daughter came home pregnant at 17 I was horrified. Absolutely shocked and horrified. But after I got my head around it I found that it wasn’t really that horrible after all.
We did the same and supplied the things she needed and the baby needed and when her and her partner got jobs they paid it back. We didn’t ask, they just figured it was the right thing to do.
They grew up fast and have become the most awesome parents and I am so proud of them all.
You go girl. I’m behind you all the way!
xox
Comparing illegal drug use to pregnancy, alcohol, cigarettes or spousal abuse is comparing apples to oranges.
I was not comparing those things as in “beating your wife and smoking pot is equally bad”, I was *only* saying that they are both against the law. (And for the record: I don’t think either one is bad if the first one is done with consent and the latter is done with moderation).
This is exactly why I normally don’t get into discussions about things like this in English. I rarely succeed in getting my point across and it only leaves me frustrated. And I’m wishing for the umpteenth time that the comment section in your blog has an edit or a delete button.
I know sweetheart, and I wasn’t directing that at your comment. But there were several that were comparing so I was just making a general reply about my thoughts on illegal activities.
I love your comments, you always make me think or smile – or both! Hugs and kisses, and bunches of them.
I should read the other comments from now on. I thought I *really* did a lousy job (again) explaining my thoughts. Thank you so much for responding. <3
Just wanted you to know that you shouldn’t dread getting into arguments/discussions in English! Your English is very, very good and easily understandable. You’d do fine, I swear.
Aawww, thank you so much!
Ok, I don’t have time to read through all the comments. And you know I have to put my two cents in on this subject, right?
The Emperor started smoking pot when He was 11. He’s sports a 9 1/2″ dick. Was He supposed to hang at 15″? Or is it all bullshit, like *so* much of the propaganda of pot?
Be honest about your opinion. Be honest about the realities. Look it up online.
Another point – I have never hidden my love of the reefer fron my kids. So far, two of the three aren’t at all interested.
Arrgh. The third is making me want to go smoke some pot. See, this is why I never comment anymore. I can never finish one.
:-*
Miss you tragic. Did you get my email?
Hi Kaya! I’ve never commented before, but as someone who seems to be a lot younger than most of your readers (I’m 20) I couldn’t resist throwing in my own opinion.
1) Your son shouldn’t be smoking because at 13 he’s not old enough to be doing it responsibly.
2) My mom told me that if she ever caught me smoking pot she would kick me out of the house. She didn’t mean it, but it still implied that if I got caught I would be in serious, serious trouble. But one night when I was 18 I was hanging out with some friends and wound up trying it. I realized that I was past curfew and instead of calling my parents for a ride (like they always promised they would do for me rather than have me drive home drunk) I was too scared to tell my mom I was high and drove home myself. It was terrible. There was no way I should have been on the road.
So just keep in mind that putting down such a hard line on your kids might make it really hard for them to ask for help when they need it.