The wedding that almost wasn’t.
We’d decided to simply exchange our vows at the courthouse. Short, sweet and easy.
Immediately upon entering the courthouse, we’re confronted with the metal detector and the security guard. Master walked in first, then the kids, then me.
BEEP.
I thought nothing of it, turned around and went back, emptying the pockets of my jacket into the convenient little plastic tray. I had Master’s sunglasses and a pen. I walked through again.
BEEP.
I experienced a moment of panic as I turned and went back the second time. The security guard, an older woman, just looked at me. “What you got in your pockets?” she inquired.
I stumbled over my words. I could feel my face burning. “Nothing! I don’t have anything else!” and I patted my flat pockets.
Master had stepped off to the side and I looked at Him, an obvious HELP! expression on my face. He only gazed back at me, helpless Himself. The kids, also through the door and off to the side, giggled and poked each other in the ribs. “Ummmm! Mom’s in troub-ulllll!”
The guard waved me through. “Come over here. I gotta wand ya.”
I stepped through the door, silently praying for a miracle, for the detector to remain silent as I stepped though… but karma was not on my side this time.
BEEP.
The guard waved me around the counter where she stood with the handheld wand. For a moment, I considered bolting and running out the door. What I saw in my very immediate future was a strip search.
The guard ran the wand down my side. As it passed my chest it emitted a short, high squawk. BEEP.
“What are you here for?” The guard asked, continuing her wand search down over my hips to my ankles.
“I’m getting married.” I answered, my heart hammering in my throat.
She continued, now wanding me up the other side. “That the groom over there?” She asked, nodding toward Master. The wand elicited another squawk as it passed my chest.
“Yes.” I said and tried to smile, suddenly feeling light-headed with panic. I could not imagine that I was going to get past this checkpoint without pinpointing the reason I was setting off the alarms. In my head I was alternating with two scenarios. One, I turned around and walked out. We’d schedule this another time. I glanced at Master, the kids, and His family. All watching me and waiting for the Big Marriage, two years in the works, to happen. How would I explain to them why I suddenly ran out of the courthouse? They’d think I was mad!
The second scenario involved me pulling Miss Security Guard close to me and whispering in her ear. Hey, it’s okay. I don’t have a gun on me. No knives. It’s just my bra. See, my bra is full of tacks. Metal tacks. Something neither of us obviously thought of when I was dressing today. They aren’t hurting anyone but me and I promise I’m not going to set them on the judge’s bench or anything!
I tried to imagine the look on the guard’s face as I unbuttoned my shirt enough for her to see my boobs. I tried imaging explaining to her why I was wearing a bra full of tacks. I tried to imagine not spending the next few hours in a roomful of suspicious people, convincing them that I am only harmful to myself and it’s safe to let me out.
I could not imagine either scenario working out positively.
The guard had moved the wand to the front of me and ran it up. From my ankles to my chest, where it again squawked at us. For a moment, her and I just stared at each other.
She made another pass over my chest. BEEP over my breasts. Silence just below them. Silence just above them. BEEP right on them. I came to the conclusion that I was probably going to have to spill the beans and decided that I’d just do it. With pride. Let her think what she would, let them all think what they will. I was wearing a bra full of tacks to my wedding because I’m a masochist marrying a sadist. I’m not just a girl getting hitched. This day, this ceremony, means something. They don’t need to understand it, they only need to either allow me through or make me take it off. Simple.
She looked at me and something passed over her face. Something knowing. She sensed something. I don’t know what it was or what she thought or what prompted her to let me through but she reached out and tapped the obviously-plastic zipper of my jacket.
“It must be the zipper.” She said. “Go get married.” And she waved me through.
So I did.
~cunt
Uncategorized | kaya | 
Sunday October 15th, 2006 1:18pm
Oh god that was hilarious (sorry :-))
Glad you got through it without too much embarrassment though.
Anyway, congratulations!!!! *hugs*
ana
Hmm, maybe she thought your nipples were pierced? That’s the only thing I can think of.
Congratulations! :)
My thoughts exactly! :) Congratulations!
Nothing is ever easy for you is it? :)
Just a normal walk in the park, NO!
Just another day of going to the court house – NO!
Congratulations my dear…. I don’t know why, but I thought you two were already married…. but I’m just a nutjob that reads your journal everyday! :)
*dies laughing* One of these days I’m going to put you up on. That had me laughing my ass off. I’ve got nothing pierced or anything but I can seriously see that happening.
that totally sounds like something that would happen to me…
some weird thing would happen and i would have no idea how to explain myself, haha! I feel your pain!
Anyway, Congrats!!! *hugs*
Well, I’m glad you two got hitched.
Your story reminded me of that song “Sisters are doing it for themselves”, only in a WAY different context. I’d take her passing you along without further explanation as a good omen for the S&m in your marriage. Or at least that’s my story and I’m sticking to it. :-D
You know damn well you wouldn’t have had it any other way :) How perfect for you! Congratulations!
much love,
magdala~
The wedding that almost wasn’t.
Sounds too darned funny and scary, thank God you weren’t at the airport, they wouldn’t have probably been as nice, they freak out when you have a sewing kit in your purse.
Hope this means that you truly are married now :-) and hope it’s a much calmer after wedding atmosphere.
KnkyPet
Maybe her nipples are pierced…and thought yours were too. *hee*
You need to make her a plate of cookies :-D
Congratulations
That is Wonderfully funny lol!
If you ever see her again you have to ask what she thought – if she even remembers you :).
She may not have thought tacks but guessed it was probably some ‘toy’ that she need not gander at given the obvious location lol.
You and your family were on my mind all Friday and I was praying for you, as much as if I were there with you.
loves * hugs* and Congrats :)
ds
I love this story. I am so happy for you. *giantgiantgrin and hugs*
What a bitch?? I say that for a reason. I understand the need for security in such a place but it’s not a plane, and it’s not a prison. I graduated from a law school where one of the courses was having to visit the darker side…prisons. To get into the “main house” we had to pass through a metal detector in which we were well informed that even most bones in bra’s would send it squawking off. The tours was post 9/11 so, that’s not a reasoning in the strictness in the prison.
When us girls would go through, 7 out of 11 of us would sound off with that same sound. 3 swipes of the wand over your breasts right off, should have made her think it was merely a bra darling sis.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAH!!! Oh geeze. Oh that’s funny. I forgot all about hte metal detectors at the court house. Wow. I remember the first time I went through a metal detector after I got my hood peirced, and it was to board an airplane, with my parents, and I kept thinking they’d pull me aside and strip search me, and explain to my parents I had metal bits in my girlie bits. Nope, no beep, walked all the way through….
On the way back, I forgot I had a pocket knife in my pocket and nearly got arrested, but that’s another story.
So glad you got this done hun! Congrats to you and your Master!
You know that lady has probably seen all kinds of weirdness, the longer she works there, the weirder stuff she’s going to see…. I bet she knew. The look on your face, and his face, and where it was beeping, she probably thought it was jewlery… hee hee hee. oh so happy this has never hapenned to me.
Congratulations!
And who knows, maybe the security guard knows how you feel. I get a sense of submissiveness from the women I work with. Who knows? Thankfully, she let you through without a problem.
Yay!! kaya got married!!
llama
cva-medom.blogspot.com
ROTFLMAO! That is absolutely priceless. What a wedding day story!
:-D
Congratulations to you and your husband/Master!I wish you both a lifetime of happiness.
Pmsl. What a story to tell the grand kids!! i was waiting for you to say she thought it was an underwire bra…seems the most obvious really. She certainly seemed to enjoy making you sweat it though. Maybe she was a Domme out of hours!! ;o)
Congrats to you and M…may you have many many happy years ahead of you, with as many entertaining stories to tell as this one!! Roll on the honeymoon!!
Hugsss
pj
xx
Ahh yes, i know all too well this myself. i’m soooooo happy that it all worked out! Can’t wait to read more about “the wedding that WAS”!!
fyi, piercings AND tweezer-chain clamps DO set off metal detectors. So do tack bras.
LOL
LMAO
ok kaya.. that is most definitely one for the books.. did your Master at least look a tad embarassed by the whole thing??
i am gonna HAVE to make Sir understand that the tack bra does NOT go through any security gates.. EVER!!!
laughing as i head off to bed…
morningstar (owned by Warren)
http://wtsubbie.blogspot.com/
boobie beeps!
It’s never boring with you kaya. Glad you were able to get married. Best wishes to you and your Master and family.
AL
Too funny, you made me laugh out loud
Congratulations with your wedding, any spelling wedding night stories?.
So we learn something new everyday.. Funny, I guess nobody else thought about it too, so dont feel bad.
I’m with everyone else. That’s something you will NEVER forget. How funny! And congrats. I’m so happy for you.
hehe every time I saw “beep” I could just hear it. Iv been in that situation at airports. Its like er, its underwire….lol ohwell at least you didnt get searched. Yay!
I was just thinking about that and it would have been priceless too cause you know she woulda got the shit poked outta her hand LOL
tia
OMGLMAO
I thought this:
Cost of gas to get there 2.85 a gallon
Cost of marriage licence 75.00
Cost of seeing Kaya, sweating bullets in a court house with a tac bra singing out loud?
PRICELESS!!
hehehe, oh to be a fly on that wall, did Mr Master get a video?
Smoochies
tia
Very funny and so you!!!
((((Kaya)))))
Brian aka HB
I was just reading it to Master and we were chuckling the whole time.
The guard was so cool, I’m glad it went well. Congratulations!
*hugs*
+kafka
Do you EVER have a ‘normal’ moment?? I think that was the last thing I expected to read! *rolls*
I still beam when I think about you and M hitched. I’m so happy things worked out!
Happens to me every time I go to the airport… One of the things to contend with when wearing a permenant collar.
Congradulations.
Wow. That’s one way to make a lasting memory! See, had it been me I’d have said something about my bra being an underwire and if that didn’t work, that my nipples are pierced. But with my luck? They’d want to see the jewelry and I can’t back that story up. lol
Congratulations sweetie, I’m glad it worked out. *hugs*
Joy
http://hisjoy.blogspot.com
Oh, that’s hilarious!! I was hoping you’d at least get patted down…LOL
Congratulations on the wedding!!!!
only you kaya..only you….
I am so happy for you! COngratulations! May you and your master spend many happy years together.
Haha… I love your stories. I was right there with you the whole time, thinking, ‘Crap, how the hell is she going to explain away a tack bra? Regardless of pride, I just dont think that’s something people would hear without having a major freak out..’
Pierced nipples though… that would’ve been an obvious, easy answer. LoL.
omg! the same thing happen when we were going thru the airport – the female guard snickered knowingly with the first pass of the wand, and let me go thru when i whispered the truth to her.