The only stupid question is the one not asked.
Because all the cool kids are doing it.
March is ‘question and answer’ month. Ask me anything. I’ll answer in an upcoming post.
Comment anonymously, use your name, or send me an email (kaya at underhishand.com).












You’ve mentioned kids. How do you have so much bdsm play without their knowledge???
Also, how do you handle summer clothes with Master’s marks on you? Or visits to the doctor?
How do you not scream and run in fear whenever the toycloset opens?
(I always feel like it…)
and…
What did you think of The Surrendered Wife? (I’m sorry, I’m a sucker for bookreviews.)
I agree with Anonymous, don’t the kids hear the impacts, toys, vocalization and etc? You guys must play like ninjas.
Second question, is there a regular brand of lube you prefer? I am sick unto death of the here-then-gone drugstore stuff.
Well Ill ask openly.
How long have you been married? Are the children yours together or yours from before?
Whats the history with you and the Grand Poobah? Gimme some backround woman :)
Are you ever scared one of your children will stumble across your blog?
Are you ever worried that your children will disapprove of your lifestyle and walk away from you as adults?
Since I get this question all the time, I think I’ll ask you and see if you can come up with a reasonable answer:
What’s your favorite way to be tied up and what’s the longest you’ve been kept tied?
*giggles*
What was the best scene you and your Master have ever done?
what is your “favourite” toy????
xx honey xx
What is your nastiest closed eyes midnight fantasy that you go to when the vibe is just perfection and i want details.
Two part question:
Do you have friends in your life that know of your lifestyle and are able to share/converse over such things that life brings?
How did you come to meet them?
Friends are valuable jewels that life gives us. I simply and quite dearly treasure all of mine. However, i have not a one that i can share my lifestyle choice with and have them completely understand. (i know for a fact that id get the “oh your being abused” from them *rolls eyes*) Nor can i bounce questions off them over challenges etc. that i experience.
I’ve always wondered this about people who post pictures of their faces… are you ever worried you will be recognized?
Have you ever had to explain away bruises to a stranger who accidently saw them? Not so much a doctors office- just someone at the store or something.
Does it hurt when people are mean to you in the comments? I mean, I remember when I was a bitch to you, and wow did you show me down. :P
Also do you have a diary just for you where your Master doesn’t read, or does he know EVERYTHING?
If you could pick any Daddy Dyke to fuck you, who would you pick? *G*
Oooh, i want to copy this idea!
1. Can i whore your idea?
2. Whoring from Anon: Because you show your face, aren’t you ever worried you will be recognized? What will you do!
3. What makes you want to run away?
4. Do you wanna borrow my 62 sunflower pins? *grins*
5. What’s your deepest, darkest, most private fantasy that hasn’t been realized yet?
6. What’s the first thing that comes to mind when you’re done reading this sentence?
xoxx
(i’ll probably take advantage and come back to this and ask more. Remember, i’m a pain in the proverbial ass…_
I don’t ever recall reading about your Master going down on you (I’ve been reading your blog for well over a year) and I was wondering why this is. Does he go down on you? If not, why? If he does, why don’t you ever write about it?
1. Where are the hermit crabs? I get my hermit crab fix vicariously through you since Master seems to think that 2 lizards, 2 fish, 2 dogs, and an aquarium full of snails is practically noah’s ark and isn’t allowing me any more pets right now.
2. What were your hopes and dreams for yourself before you entered this life? Did you have to grieve for the life you gave up to be who you are now?
Kitten
Kaya,
1) What’s your favorite work of written erotica? (not porn, erotica)
2) Do you still carve “owned slave” into your breasts?
3) What’s your favorite BDSM website?
4) Have you ever had sex with another woman?
Yes, I do take you seriously when yo say “anything.” ;)
Dave
Aren’t you sorry you started this ;-)
When you you first start out in the lifestyle or started to have interest in bdsm?
What would you do if your masters job found out about this website? Or someone your kids go to school with? Or the kids themselves?
Do you ever worry about stalkers with as much information about you and scott that you’ve put out here?
What are the rules that you have to follow?
Being not from the US… are there any legal issues when it comes to BDSM play?
Yes, I’d like to know too – what is your darkest fantasy?
When you had no real time bdsm, did you add pain to your masturbation sessions yourself? (clothespins etc.)
Are there things that you’re terrified of but which will happen one day because your Master is fascinated by them?
How do you feel about the idea of being whored out?
Could you become a professional dominatrix during the daytime if your Master deemed this a good way to earn money?
Would you (when your kids are grown up) accept to be given away to another Master if that was what your Master really wanted?
How would you feel about a sister slave?
Would you be mean to her? :)
Do you still make snowmen or does that seem silly? (Loved your snowpictures by the way!)
Is there a country you’d like to visit or something special/crazy you want to do or learn one day?
yay I am one of the cool kids lol :)
name a couple guilty pleasures?
Is there something you had before your life in M/s that you don’t now…that you miss?
Do you ever do any “role” play such as age play or maybe teacher and student…doctor and nurse?
What Is the Misery Stick ™, exactly?
What are your fetishes?
Favorites?
Ones you have thought about, but not tried?
Ones you have tried, but not cared for?
I did a post listing a bunch of them to get the creative juices flowing here:
http://bikerinvestor.livejournal.com/22918.html
(kaya, I know that this bog is *all about* your life and fetishes; all “up close and personal” my question is more about stepping back and looking at it from 30 thousand feet. Also, there might be, just possibly something you have never heard of or done. Well, in your case, maybe not. )
What are the punishments for breaking the rules?
Is it/was it ever a total mindfuck to be in a space of needing/wanting pain and being frightened of it? Has mentally accepting that you are into pain been a difficult thing for you at any point? (I ask cuz its so where I am right now ;) ).
I’ll give you a choice of questions:
1) Was feeling blue a bad thing before it became a color?
or
2) What was your/his kink like before you met and how has it changed?
Ok..so pick whichever one you like, as long as it’s 2. Fair ’nuff?
Mr. Upton Ogood
Told you so:
How would you feel about a sister slave?
Would you be mean to her?
What makes your palms sweat? (either in real time or reading)
Have you been with a woman? (good question!)
For emphasis, what is your deepest, darkest fantasy?
ta ta :o)
“For emphasis, what is your deepest, darkest fantasy?”
*grins*
I like the sweaty palms question too – a lot!
When did you first realize that pain excited you sexually?
[...] the heck … *jumps on the bandwagon* Ok, since all the cool kids are doing it (laughs -Kaya, and Kitten, and Mat’s pet ), so I suppose I should. March is, apparently, question and [...]
Hi!
Love reading your blog…my question is…where do you get all the great quotes / titles that you come up with?
I’m one of your lurkers, and enjoy reading your blog….
My question is — Do you still have to the task i.e. wearing that scrunchie pot scrubber thingy, or the tack bra or butt plug on a daily basis?
Thanks!
Hey kaya, love your blog, hardly ever comment. My question is brought on by the breathplay post. I was wondering what you and your Master do, if anything, to safeguard him in the event something did go badly wrong during play, to try to avoid him being charged with something awful? I guess a related question is: do you have something written down to help your kids out if something like that happened?
… not auggesting you should in either case, just curious.
Do you or he have any hobbies or passions besides BDSM? What do you do when you’re not doing chores/blogging/getting beaten? What do the two of you like to do on weekends?
[...] my lethargy leads me to try out what kaya is doing over at her blog: [...]
Kaya,
I thought of another couple of questions, one a shameless piece of writing research.
1: I’ve heard several comparisons of lexan and rattan canes, with the lexan coming out as far more viscious. What IS lexan and why are canes made form it so much painful?
2: Have you ever had an orgasm from JUST pain, with no erogenous zone stimulation?
Thanks again.
Dave
What type of chick were you in highschool? Im just curious, Like were you one of those bitchy girls that everyone likes…one of those bitchy girls everyone hates, ect. Which one were you?
Right, I asked somewhere else, but here we go again:
What would you like to ask your readers? :-P
I’ve finally got a question!
After all the really intense beatings we’ve seen documented here, how is a simple hand spanking for you now? Is it basically just fun foreplay/warm up to scene?
If you’re not already burned out on the kid questions, I have one(ish) for you. You mentioned earlier that your kids see you choosing to live as a subservient wife. Is that really so? Do they see you deferring to him as, the one who makes all the decisions or whatnot? I mean, do they really see you as subservient? Do your daughters ever ask why it is that you don’t challenge him, or are they ever under the impression that all women/wives should let the husband take charge or whatnot? That was probably like 5 questions, sorry. :)
Have you ever used Tabasco sauce? We tried it once and instead of using a q-tip like it said he thought he would just splash it on and use milk to dull the pain. NOOOO, I had to run to the shower, I WAS CRYING AND I JUST WANTED TO RIP MY PARTS OFF. Ever had that feeling? -)
Do you ever have/long for tenderness and “making love” or is your desire for sex to have it always be rough and combined with elements of pain? Also, how do you and Master show your love/affection for one another when not in the bedroom?
If your Master was to decide he no longer wished to continue the S&M part of your relationship, would you want to seek out another Master or would you be able to be content with a “vanilla” relationship?
I’ve seen you mention the name Tess twice recently. I’ve been reading your blog for about a year, and I’ve never seen any mention of your real name, only his. Why isn’t it a big secret anymore?
How often do y’all have sex, on average? From what we see here it sounds like every 5 seconds. :-P
Also, I’ve been wondering for awhile, what is your master like? I have a very vivid picture of your personality, obviously, but what kind of person is he? If we were to randomly meet and socialize for a bit, what kind of impression would he leave me with? If you can ever answer that, biased as you are. :)
In your opinion, what is the difference between a “regular” sub and a slave, aside from the obvious (being called a slave, entering into a contract)? I guess I am curious because I wonder if I could ever want to be a slave….
Ok, one more! Has you Master ever slipped and called you cunt in front of other people?