The one where I gloat about how much better my relationship is than yours.
I just had to poke my head in and say that I think my in-person relationship is way better than your online relationship. That’s right. Better.
And I’m tired of tippytoeing around people’s widdle fewings. There is no such fucking thing as ‘fully submitting’ through the internet, no matter how slutty your SL avatar is.
I think people who claim online relationships are just as good, if not better than ‘real time’ (because oh how they suffer all alone) are delusional.
I read a page some time ago about cyber and in-person relationships. The specific mechanisms for relating, or how people connect to one another on the most fundamental level, is via the five senses:
*hearing the other
*seeing the other
*touching the other
*smelling the other
*tasting the other
Hearing. Voice tone. Inflection. Emotion. Meaning. All that is absent in a text-based conversation. There is little spontaneity. You can reply to your cyber-love at whatever pace suits you. You have time to think about what you want to say, to perfectly compose your response. That comes in pretty handy for those awkward or emotional situations in a relationship, no? Not even the speed of IM can replace the forced intimacy that occurs in a face-to-face conversation.
There is so much I can pick up on just by hearing Master say one word. Any word at all. And vice versa. Anger, happiness, weariness, angst, irritation, joy, arousal, skepticism, surprise, pleasure. So dependent have we become on the interpersonal exchange of sound that on the occasion that we’re reduced to communication by text, it is not uncommon for one of us to misunderstand the other’s words, based solely on not having an accompanying tone to put it in context.
Seeing. Facial expressions, body language, all the visual cues are missing in cyber-only relationships. The lack of visual cues coupled with being unable to hear voice tones leaves a cyber relationship ambiguous and depleted. It’s a guessing game ripe with misunderstandings and transference. Just look how easily and quickly a person’s post on here is taken as a slam, a flame, or an insult purely because one cannot interject tone or facial expression into the written word.
Just as hearing Master’s tone of voice communicates as much, if not more, than the words themselves, so too does seeing his body language. The way he’s sitting or standing, the way he’s looking at me, the expression on his face, the arch of his eyebrow, the tilt of his lips. We can have a whole “conversation” without uttering a word. I know if I’ve been pleasing, or not, simply by looking at him.
Touching. I could quote a myriad of medical and psychological sources that discuss the importance of physical touch. It should be common sense though, so I’m not going to. Google is your friend if there is any disagreement on the importance of touch.
It almost seems silly that I would have to make a case for physical touch, or have to describe the value of it. It’s inconceivable that anyone would disagree. Cyber sex over being fucked? Cyber spankings full of words like ~whack~ and ~thwap~ vs. being pulled over his knee and paddled? A {{hug}} compared to the warmth and tightness and security found in his arms? A dark monitor that leads to a cold empty bed or curling up next to him, my head on his shoulder, his fingers tracing the curve of my breast?
Smell and Taste. These two senses stir up powerful emotional reactions. It’s been said that smell and taste are “primitive” sensations, but the two form the foundation for deep intimacy – maybe because they ARE so primitive and fundamental.
When Master has to travel I curl up with his pillow when I go to bed. His scent, so powerfully HIS and so comfortingly familiar. I sniff at his cologne bottles, hug his jackets and unwashed shirts. I miss his scent when he’s gone and I search for it until he comes home.
And taste? I hunger for his taste. His lips, his tongue. His chest, even his feet, his groin, his semen. Do I think having that taste lingering on my tongue and dwelling deep within my throat is better than reading “I just came. Mmmm.” in my msn window? You bet I do. Far, far better.
Hearing, seeing, touching, smelling, tasting. They’re the sensations of lovers. Rarely does a person connect in person by one sensation alone. Rarely does a relationship grow to it’s full potential by one, or even two, sensations. In cyber relationships these sensations are separated, dissociated. Or neglected completely. That leaves things flat, stale. It’s when the sensations mingle and play off each other that we can extract meaning from them.
So do I believe that my relationship is better than your cyber one? Indeed I do. Do I get that you don’t want to hear that? Ayep. I get that it brings to light everything you are missing. I get that you don’t want to have that pointed out to you. I get that it makes you angry. I get that you spend a lot of time justifying how you’ve settled and I get that you try real hard to convince yourself that you aren’t missing everything that you know you are.
I also don’t care. You’re a big girl and I ain’t your momma. But I’m also not going to downplay the very real and very difficult sacrifices I made and chances that I took to make this relationship real and special and in-the-flesh just to save your feelings. I’m not going to equate your internet-based submission with mine. I’m not going to validate your role-playing or feed your delusions. I may be a smug little bitch but I’ve fucking earned it.
What you are doing is NOT the same. Not even close.
Reality is better.
~cunt
(I might even post more yet. I’m so sick of boxes I can’t stand it.)
Uncategorized | kaya | 
Wednesday August 13th, 2008 10:45am
More please! I mean, really, what’s more important? The happiness of your readers or the happiness of .. oh, wait. Never mind.
Yay! I got to start my day with a Kaya post! Life is good!
I can only send a cyber hug — hope it will suffice!
First thought that came to mind as i read your post (thought you were packing.. but god am i glad the boxes got to you!!) was .. “who pissed in her cornflakes this morning”….. kaya i don’t think i have ever read you quite so riled up…….. but don’t stop… you have more guts than i do……i think but don’t often say it… for fear of rattling someone’s cage….. though in hindsight..maybe they need rattling??!!
All of that to say…… i loved it!! every single word of it…..
morningstar (owned by Warren)
though i am not in what i consider a REAL D/s relationship…i am in a REAL relationship and i couldn’t agree more. I’d rather have my REAL LIFE relationship with my REAL LIFE husband with all the snags and problems than a fantasy one on line with someone i will never be able to touch, taste, smell, or be physically dominated by.
uhm, maybe i missed something..i am sure i did..but why are you moving…other than that is what your Master told you..lol
“but why are you moving…other than that is what your Master told you”
There is no other reason.
You are SO right. I’m in a REAL relationship with a little D/s for seasoning, which I chose over a myriad of possibilities of a completely cyber, completely D/s relationship. …and I haven’t regretted it for a second.
You go, Kaya. You go!
I have done both. Kaya you are soooooo right. Online doesn’t even compare to real life. I won’t even go back to the online bullshit of relationships again. Its nothing but crap.
I agree with you entirely.
I did the online (vanilla) thing for nearly two years, and I loved him so much that I wanted to marry him and have his babies. The relationship involved phone calls and webcam as well as talking online.
The relationship also hit the fan really, really hard when he actually came up to visit me, because text on a screen, phone calls, and webcams do not a person make. The ideal that I’d come to know through the net was kind, loving, and charming. The reality was that he was overbearing, obsessed with sex (I was 16 and virginated at the time), and really, really not compatible with me at all.
If I were in the market for another partner, I would consider starting my search on the net, but I’d want someone local, and I wouldn’t want to go more than a few weeks without meeting them.
Unless M goes away on some sort of extended trip, my webcam is staying in the box in the closet.
You said a mouthful! Rock on!
zin
Very well said!!
Hard to argue with that.
Yanno…
For some people…
The fantasy is enough. They don’t want to actually live it. A few hours a day in a message box or with a web cam is all they really, truly want.
I get that.
I get the power of words, too. And how intense and wonderful they can be.
I don’t begrudge anyone any of that.
But, yeah…
Don’t try to say what you do is the same as or equal to what I do.
Apples and oranges, man.
And my shit?
It’s real. And, yes, I will always feel it’s better because of that.
I met my Real Life Master online. And we’re still together a year and a half later. Both in Real life and online. I unfortuantely live on the other side of the country till I am done with my Degree in 5 months. However, I have been out to see him several times. And you’re right, Real life is better. HOWEVER, I don’t think people in just online relationships are delusional. I think whatever makes them happy is fine, every one has their own opinions of it. But at the same time it is not as good as Real life. My Master and Myself make do with what we can for the time being till I am out there for good. So I really can’t knock the Online/Phone/Webcam thing that much. It works…for now. It’s not the same but it works to the best that it can.
Example:
I got caught playing with myself by my sister-slave (not all agree or like a poly lifestyle, but a year and half later and we’re still going strong so…if you don’t like it please don’t criticize me for it). She didn’t tell on me, but she told me that it would be my own conscience that would bring me to tell my Master.
So now I am sitting her writing “This pet wont touch herself unless her Master says too” 500 times!!!!!!!!!!!
Then midsentence I’m like wait, this sounds like something Kaya would do. So I came back to look lol, wondering if my Master got that idea from here….And now as you can see I got sided tracked….
Sorry for this being long and well rambling. And hopefully this wasn’t offensive.
-I
When you had to write your sentences, did they have to include the misspellings?
hahahaha, you are what she is talking about you ignoramus. Writing lines because your online sister slave caught you pleasuring yourself
what a joke
that is pure, stupid fantasy
Hey asshole did you miss the part where I said I HAVE met/played ect… with them in REAL LIFE? Retard. So tell me when he was fucking me on his living room floor, or had me bent over paddling my ass, that was just online? No I dont think so. We make do with what we can until I am done with what I am doing over here. But I go there as often as I can in the mean time. Read the whole fucking thing before you make a dumbass remark.
Any further questions you can email me.
you are the very type of person Kaya is talking about
You apparently are unhappy with your life and have nothing better to do but sit online and criticize others. I know it’s real, as does my Master and that’s all that matters. You opinion isn’t going to change my relationship with them, nor is it going to make me question it and neither will Kaya’s opinion.
Your*
Kaya, no matter how bitchy you can be you always make sense.
Good luck with the move.
Warm hugs,
Paul.
snort
P.S. – Every time I think about you & the boxes it makes me tired.
Ho boy miss kaya, you are stirring the pot! LOL
Of course I couldn’t agree more. It kind of makes me crazy when people say that online is the EXACT. SAME. as real life. It’s so far on the other end of the spectrum that my brain can’t even comprehend it.
Heehaww I think miss kaya is going to be very disappointed if someone doesn’t get mad and slam a few cyber doors so she can say “whatevvaaahh!!”. LOL. Come on guys, someone has to disagree so she can get her daily dose.
kaya you might not be a champion of cyber relationships but your addiction to cyber-taunting, cyber-flaming, and cyber-fighting is obvious! Hee!
I 100% agree with you Kaya! Our relationship started online and then progressed to the point where we now live together. So I’ve been in both situations, and I know that real life is SO much better. And as you said, you can’t compare those sensations you get from your senses. Regarding what you said about text messages being miscommunicated..so true. On my last trip away this happened to us, purely because you can’t tell in what context or tone they mean for what they’re saying to be interpreted.
As for the smell side of things…I do exactly as you do. Especially that I’ve been sick as well. When I go and have a sleep through the day, I’ve been sleeping on His pillow…His scent is comforting.
And as for touch, taste and hearing…it’s way better in person. It’s as simple as that.
Now don’t get me wrong, I understand that people sometimes can’t have what we have and have to ‘settle’. If they’re happy doing this, then fine. However, what you have, is not what we have. Simple.
Just my two cents.
Lucy
Kaya,
I can think of one class of people for whom your claim wouldn’t be true. Those would be the people who DON’T want the real thing. The real thing, the sex, the spankings, the tastes that you adore; these would totally turn them off. On the other hand, the fantasy, the roleplaying, the incredibly perfect words on the screen, these thiongs are what turn them on get them off. Why do I know this? Because, essentially, those people are me. I’ve said it before, I’m purely vanilla; but, I LOVE the imagined world of BDSM, D/s, M/s, all of it. In fact, a hot WRITTEN BDSM sex scene is more arousing than any visual porn I might run into. But there is no way in God’s green earth that I could enjoy a real BDSM experience, just no way.
Now, I will admit that you probably enjoy your real life slavery more than I enjoy my imagined stuff. That’s the nature of real life and fantasy. So I’m not so much disagreeing with you as saying that for YOU real life is better and for others fanatsy is truly better than what their real life would be/is.
Dave
If they don’t want it, then they don’t want it. That’s perfectly a-ok in my book. But still – don’t tell me that what they do over the internet is anywhere near the same as what others do in their every day life, yanno? That’s my beef here.
If you tried to tell me that what you fantasize about or what you write is the *equivalent* of actually DOING it, I’d tell you that you were off your rocker too. Cuz it ain’t so. But that’s what some people say; that there is NO difference between online and real life and that is a crock of shit.
I have no problem with online (or more accurately, long distance) relationships being REAL when there is forward progress toward a face-to-face relationship, live-in or not. I mean, I would be hypocritical to say otherwise – Chris and I started out getting to know each other online before we progressed from e-mail to IM to phone calls to manymanymany frequent flier miles to a 3000 mile move for me into an apartment near him to essentially living together 75% of the time to marriage over about 2 1/2 years.
Early on I would never have said that our relationship wasn’t real, but I would also have said that it wasn’t satisfying in any sense of the word. We weren’t satisfied until we had solved the distance problem. (Once we solved the distance problem, we decided we wouldn’t be satisfied until I was wearing a wedding ring, lol.) Having a physically close relationship was always our objective and once we had it, it was ever so much more than I expected.
So, yes, a face-to-face relationship is better than a cyber relationship. Some cyber relationships have the potential for becoming relationships that are as good as many of the commenters here, but they aren’t actually that good.
kaya, I have no idea to whom you were addressing your entry. I’m kind of glad about that
sparkle
Now to be fair I didn’t say it wasn’t *real*, I said in-person was better. And I said anyone who thinks an online relationship is just as good as an in-person relationship is delusional. And I stand by that.
Of course it’s not the same! Anyone who says it is the same is fooling him/herself. And it’s definitely not *better* unless of course it’s better for the people involved but I can’t put myself in that category.
My relationship with my Sir is long-distance and we rely heavily online, the phone, etc., in between our times together. Would it be *better* if we were living together now? Of course it would be!
It’s completely different – but that doesn’t mean it isn’t ‘real.’
Good post as usual.
Blush
Kaya, this may be the only time I will say something bad towards you, but this is the most spiteful and mean I have ever heard you speak. As the guy before me said, who pissed in your conrflakes? And can I sell tickets if you meet her face to face??? I’ve got 20 on Kaya!
hahahahaha….
Tell ‘em, girl.
Word.
You wouldn’t believe how many men say they want to submit, but don’t, when it comes down to it. SO much bullshit.
Just wanted to toss my two cents in and say “AGREED” loud and clear. Opps. I mean type in my type “AGREED” loud and clear. *giggles*
Also I wanted to say that I hope that the whole moving thing is done and over soon. I know how tiring that can be and I’m sure once it is all over, you can take a deep breathe and … do whatever S tells you.
*hugs*
I fucking love you!!
Ha- Paul called you bitchy! That made me chuckle. Packing makes anyone bitchy. Have you said where you’re moving yet? i have some catching up to do…
And while i agree that having a ‘real’ relationship is freaking awesome, i have to stick my hand in the air to support those who aren’t sure yet, who aren’t ready to cross into the reality of BDSM, or those who find the fantasy enough for them.
Both types of people have different cases and different situations and neither are better than the other, but, for that person, they’re choosing the best option for them. But don’t get me started about the rude, self-rightous ‘fakers’ and wannabes…
That’s just my rational bitchy packing self speaking. And taken from a cue from something you wrote me, you can come kiss my butt anytime. i really mean that.
*wink*
Love you!!
xoxx
dear kaya,
i read this post earlier today and i have been thinking about it ever since.. i am one of the people who do this online/ webcam/ phone… i also travel to be with my Master every few months, so we have to pack alot into a few days until the next time.. when im home i still have rules to follow, tasks that need to be done etc. i do miss the feel of Him, His scent, His voice, the look in His eyes when im not with Him…. and i drown, happily, in all of it when i am with Him.. i agree with you that what you do and what i do are totally different, and i will even agree with you that what you have is better… but sometimes, for some of us, the only way to have what we need is to have it this way.. i wouldnt give up what i have with Master for anything…He is one of a kind- a truly remarkable, honorable Man…. and no, i wont get into a debate with anyone ( not referring to you kaya..)about being married to other spouses and having this relationship. we fulfill each others needs while still caring for, and loving our families. i know you were mostly talking about online people, never meeting in person, being involved in this lifestlye, and if it works for them, then im happy for them too.. we each need to do what works for us to be happy… sometimes, for reasons no one else knows about, people cant take that next step to make the relationship more of a ‘reality”. i dont think in life anyone should say ‘ i do this better than you’ or ” mine is better than yours”…we each need to find what works for us and makes us happy…
this was a really good post girl, you make me think about alot of things and i really like that.. i learn alot from the blogs that i read and that does mean alot to me..
hugs,
Hisflower
I’m moving too and sometimes I wish I had boxes to pack. Since I’m just moving downstairs the work seems so much longer and harder to pack a laundry basket and walk it down and unpack it, just to do the same thing over again. I have 2 weeks to move all of my stuff. Hopefully I can get it done.
*hugs*
As you know I was online to real life and while online I felt so connected and wonderful and fulfilled. Now that I’m really with him, I realize that I wasn’t feeling any of those things. Only deep longing.
Blog: Under His Hand – cyber relations…
Interesting blog post on cyber relationships and how the real is much better. We tend to loose sight of some of the lovely’s when we desire our fantasies….
I can understand your opinions but after reading some of the responses from people, I can also see some of the reasons why people engage in online relationships and why that might work for them.
In any case, I see my penguin about every other week. We pack all we can into that tiny 2 1/2 day time span by taking in each other scents and touching and hugging and kissing and fucking and cuddling and all those things you described.
My relationship does not exist through the internet and my relationship is real and very dear to me. Does it really make my relationship worse than yours because I can’t touch him at the end of the night?
I don’t think this is a case of worse or better. Of course your relationship isn’t *worse*. But the question is, do you agree that your relationship will be *better* if/when you are together full time? If so, then I don’t think we disagree on anything at all.
On Aug 13, 2008 kaya said “…Reality is better.”
Yep, no contest.
You know kaya, I’ve been reading you for a long, long time, and never before have I felt compelled to comment. Because never before have I seen you be spiteful, mean, and a downright bitch.
You want to gloat over the fact that you’ve found your perfect mate in the lifestyle? You go right ahead. But I don’t think that gives you the god-given RIGHT to make the rest of us feel like shit for taking what we can get how we can get it.
No one died and made you the ultimate slave, kaya. Please don’t force your “perfection” on those of us who enjoy the life we have.
So.. are you saying that your relationship wouldn’t be better if it was in-person? Or is it just that, as I said, you don’t like it being pointed out to you?
Luna you’re just giving her what she wants, a fight. She posts stuff in the hopes of getting a rise out of people because she’s bored. Don’t rise to the bait. Seriously. Anyone insecure enough to need to try and tell you they’re better than you…? ISN’T.
I never once said that *I* was better than anyone. I said my in-person relationship was better than an online cyber relationship.
Gah. Reading comprehension is a lost art.
Whatever. It smacks of insecurity. Anyone who needs to tell you their relationship is better than yours is having some serious self-doubts. And talk to me about reading comprehension after you figure out the difference between “its” and “it’s”. LOL.
That would be grammar, not reading comprehension.
You’re talking to an English teacher, sweetheart. I’m aware of the difference and I’m aware of how they go together. If you don’t comprehend the word, you don’t write it properly. You might know more about how to sublimate your own talents than I do but you certainly do not know more about English. And I stand by my initial point which is that people who are secure and confident do not need to flaunt what they have nor try to make others feel lesser. Your post is a wide open window into your own uncertainties.
“people who are secure and confident do not need to flaunt what they have nor try to make others feel lesser.”
So you trying to make me feel ‘lesser’ over my misues of the apostrophe in “its” is saying what about your uncertainties exactly?
I agree that *some* people who have the need to tear others down do so in an attempt to cover up insecurities, but not all, and I’m not one of them. I’m not insecure, I’m confident. And I’m tired of having to pretend something I don’t feel for the sake of not hurting someone’s feelings. There is no comparison between cyber and in-person. The end. Those who are “hurt” by my words are hurt because of their own insecurities. If the only good to come out of this is that I no longer am expected to blow smoke up Suzie-Cyber’s ass about her online submission then it’s a victory in my book.
This isn’t a popularity contest and I don’t care if I make enemies with my words. I’ll not make posts about the English language or how I butcher it since I clearly have no experience or expertise in that subject. But this one I do and I’ll continue to express my opinions, popular or not, about it.
First, I have been reading and commenting in your blog for a good long time, and complimented you and agreed with you on many occasions . It’s quite fascinating to me that you only choose to engage me in conversation when I disagree with you.
I have no desire to make you feel lesser; or more honestly perhaps I didn’t until you took a shot at my ability to understand what I was reading. “Reading comprehension is a lost art.” Obnoxious, as was my retort. And likewise, kindness begets kindness. I have no trouble understanding what I read and your flippant remarks only prove you don’t know what you’re talking about.
Your post was not about how an “in-person” relationship is better than a “cyber” one. It was about “how much better my relationship is than yours”. Important difference. If you had simply posted about how you enjoyed your in-person relationship more than you’d ever enjoyed a cyber one, I do not think people would be so offended or disgusted with you.
The problem is that you have chosen an insulting tone, a gloating tone, and that is why your post comes across as someone filled with insecurity. I have never known anyone to go around telling other people, “I’m better than you,” who weren’t painfully unsure of themselves. It’s called narcissism.
If you want to argue that you were just comparing cyber relationships to face-to-face ones, reread the title you chose for your post. It’s strikingly clear that your intent was to inflame and hurt people. Why? The most likely reason seems to be that you are unhappy or somehow unfulfilled, yourself.
There are two ways to equalize things when you feel bad about yourself. One is to build yourself up and the other is to knock others down. Here you have chosen liberal portions of both. But do you feel better? I sincerely doubt it.
The question remains, who in the world asked you blow “smoke up Suzie-Cyber’s ass about her online submission” in the first place? Does Suzie expect you to be impressed? Doubtful. I don’t think the world of Suzies cares much in the first place what you think.
Myself, I am happily married and living a “real”, face-to-face relationship. I agree that this is better for me. Still, your smugness about your situation seems truly out of proportion to the circumstances. I’m left doubting your confidence completely. I think you spend too much time online seeking confrontations because you are bored with the life you have chosen, being at home and isolated.
It’s fascinating to me when people point out that I only engage in conversation when they disagree with me. To me, it seems pointless to engage in comment conversations with those who DO agree with me. What exactly would that look like?
“I agree with you kaya!”
“Yay! I agree with me too!”
“Squee! We all agree with each other!”
Seriously. Of course I debate with those who disagree.
This post was *exactly* about how in-person is better than online. I think I repeated that several times and listed the reasons why I think so. It was *also* about how MY in-person relationship is better than anyone’s online relationship. Because it is. And I do glaot about it. I’m not ashamed of it either. I’m pretty damn proud of my relationship.
No where did I say that *I* was better, only that my relationship is. Again I have to question your reading comprehension. Quote me the line where I said I was better or give up that angle.
“It’s strikingly clear that your intent was to inflame and hurt people. Why?” and “who in the world asked you blow “smoke up Suzie-Cyber’s ass about her online submission” in the first place?”
Unless you are following me around and are involved in all my communications, you really have no clue who is asking me to do what. As I said before, if this post, as insulting as it is, results in one less email or one less comment from Suzie-cyber then it’s well worth it. I’ve never written anything for the sake of gaining, or keeping, readers. I don’t care if I lose readers because I’m a bitch or because I don’t coddle people who I can’t relate to. The idea that I should mince words for the sake of some internet strangers feelings is preposterous.
I read a lot of things that I find insulting and hurtful. I move on. I don’t read there anymore. I certainly do not try my damndest to get that person to see how they should write to please me.
Now I’m questioning YOUR reading comprehension because your response to what I wrote seems to miss the point entirely.
I stand by my opinion. Just as you are sticking to your opinion, I am sticking to mine.
Now go ahead and have the last word because I’m bored of this.
“You’re talking to an English teacher, sweetheart.”
Prime Example of why our educational system here in the good ole US of A is headed right down the shitter.
I’m not from America (hallelujah) but gads, yes, your system really is abysmal. It explains why so few of you can write.
Okay, guess where I’m from. Now I’ll give you a hint, it’s on the Earth, and it is better than all other places.
Thats all I’m giving you though. I guess you’ll have to figure out where I live from the way a write.
I don’t know where you are, but based on your writing I would guess you are about twelve years old. It’s challenging to pack four writing errors into three simple sentences.
Okay, well if you’re an English teacher, could you please tell me where my errors are, and not in a snotty tone?
Later in these comments you have asked me to stop pointing out your errors. Likewise, you have also jumped from side to side in this debate. Are you confused, honey?
I hope you never teach my kids about grammar. Grammar errors have nothing to do with comprehension. That’s nothing but a missed apostrophe. She is not insecure or anywhere close to it. I have been reading this blog for a long time now. She is an honest REAL person in a REAL relationship. A relationship that should not be put on the same level as someone in a chat room or playing a SIMS video game. She is not saying SHE is personally better than anyone. Her relationship is by far better than any fantasy chat out there.
“Cyber spankings full of words like ~whack~ and ~thwap~ vs. being pulled over his knee and paddled?”
Word and contact are very different and not the same.
If you think I’m wrong then you deserve a virtual *BITCH SLAP*
I think you are confusing grammar, spelling, and reading comprehension. Kaya’s perpetual confusion about the difference between “its” and “it’s” is NOT a grammatical error. It is a spelling error which reflects a lack of comprehension.
Reading comprehension is not something I have any difficulties with, thank you, and so your “nutshell” summary of Kaya’s post is not useful. Nor is it accurate.
Unlike you, I am capable of reading both text and subtext. While I find nothing to argue with about the idea that real relationships are generally more fulfilling than virtual ones, it is not this with which I have a problem. It is the superior, smug, obnoxious tone that runs throughout this post, and through most of Kaya’s writing of late. I believe that Kaya is bored to death as a direct result of being isolated and looking to the internet for both companionship and entertainment. I think she expresses her uncertainties by projecting them onto others, and I think this post is a direct reflection of her own unhappiness fueling a desire to hurt other people’s feelings.
Anonymous,
I think you are both right and wrong.
I have read through the splintered threads of your arguments with others and surmise that your motivations are the same as those you accuse Kaya of. Your posts have shown the intent to hurt, belittle or strike nerves. Perhaps you are angry that you are not getting the attention you desire (no one appreciates your greatness huh?), so you take it where you can get it. I could be wrong, but this is what the case seems to be to me.
As for you being right and wrong, I think you are right about Kaya’s post reflecting her anger and her frustration, but your armchair psychology is rather flawed if you don’t look at Kaya in the whole.
Kaya is an extremely strong minded, willed, spirited woman who has chosen to live the life of a submissive. I do not believe this is an easy task for her, but I do believe she finds it rewarding.
No matter how much her master tries to change her, the fact remains is Kaya is opinionated and her mind requires that she exercise that trait. That’s great in general but not in her relationship.
Her master in his wisdom has seen this need in Kaya and wisely with or without intent has given her a forum to exercise this need. She is also tired and frustrated with all the work from her move and needed an outlet to vent. She has such a forum, good on her.
I do not believe she was expressing her relationship’s superiority in the least or trying to hurt anyone. I think she is pleased that her relationship is real. I think she has that right; she has worked hard for it.
Kaya was simply stating that real life trumps imagined fantasy. That my friend is true do you not agree?
Lets put her argument in really shallow terms. Would you rather have a real chocolate bar (providing you like chocolate), or simply look at the chocolate bar and talk about how it might feel to consume it?
Granted I think this is a matter of “your mileage may vary”, but I just think she’s ranting about the people who think talking about chocolate is just as good as eating the chocolate. They think they have it made because they don’t have to suffer the ill effects of eating the chocolate, no calories, no fat. Do you understand? I’m sure Kaya does.
I do suggest that you find some other basis of attack than bad grammar and spelling. Those are the tactics of the weak minded my dear. You know picking on the one thing you can because you can find no other flaws.
Don’t bother wasting your time responding to me Anon, because frankly, I’d care more to hear a fart in the wind than any response your angry little mind could muster. I just wanted to speak up in defense of the attacks you levied against Kaya. Why? Because I felt like it.
Thank You.
And Kaya,
Good luck on the move!!
Nothing you’ve said here is in contention as far as I’m concerned. I agree with Kaya (and with you) that a face-to-face relationship has far greater potential to be rewarding and fulfilling. It’s certainly always been my choice. I think you have misread me if you think I am disagreeing on that point. As commenter “Will” wrote several days ago, this post is really picking the low hanging fruit in the first place. It is excruciatingly obvious that a relationship based solely on interactions through the Internet is not the same as living in the same house, sharing a bank account, raising kids together, sleeping in the same bed, etcetera. Kaya claims there people who disagree. Perhaps this is so. It’s hard to fathom.
Where you misunderstand me completely is in assuming that all the “anonymous” posts in the comments are mine. They absolutely are not, and this includes the ones about spelling and grammar. I am not, thank god, the only person in the world who is amused and/or irritated by the decline of literacy in the modern age. You also misunderstand me if you think I am angry. Not in the least.
Kaya claims there *ARE* people who disagree.
I just wanted to stop by and let everybody know that my current relationship is way better than middle school relationships. For instance:
- seeing each other virtually whenever we want
- sleeping over without permission
- going all the way (like, all the friggin time!)
- not getting in trouble for passing notes
- no school dances
Yep…I’ve got it pretty good….
Stop gloating. You’ll offend all the middle schoolers and thats not fair! Waah!
My issue of irritation with the post never had anything to do with your position being offensive to proponents of online relationships. It stemmed from the “No Shit!” factor of the content. Face to face relationships trump online in terms of intimacy? Because of the five senses? Really?
What’s next, “My working legs are better than your paraplegic ones”? “My wealth is better than your poverty”? “I wasn’t raped and you were, I win”?
Now, had it been something interesting like “My D/s relationship is better than your vanilla” or “Why my (younger/older) man is better than your (older/younger) man”, it’d be a bit different. As it stands, though, it seemed like you just took on an easy fight to get a cheap win.
I did mention it in conversation with someone a little more familiar with this stuff, and they assured me that there are enough people who try to make the claim that online relationships are better, so your post well could have been a retort. In that light, it’s much, much less irritating; though the point remains obvious.
Also, yes, this is your journal, and yes, you have the right to put on it almost anything you want, and freely share any opinion — however, if you don’t want to see your readers responses, turn off the fucking comments.
No where did I say I have a problem with the comments. It doesn’t bother me a bit to have people disagree with me. I don’t expect everyone to agree with me.
It is precisely the “No shit!” factor that makes this so bloody irritating and what ‘fueled’ the stupid rant in the first place. Not only do some of those in cyber-only relationships claim that it is *exactly* the same thing as in-person, many of them take it a step further and say online relationships (D/s relationships) are harder/deeper/more intense than in-person D/s relationships. Which is utterly ridiculous.
You’d think it would be an easy fight and a cheap win. Try it sometime. I think you’ll find differently.
Seriously? I suppose I must have overestimated your cuntiness (cuntlyness?) and underestimated the stupiditiy of people on the inter–
oh god I’m sorry.
Hah! But Will, I have to drop in to let you know that my relationship with my dog is better still. She is always happy to see me, and the later I am home the more excited she is when I get there.
So my relationship is better than yours, you see. Nyah nyah nyah! 
I have to agree with the last few comments, the only reason I can think of for you to air your opinions in the way you do is either to cause an argument which means you must be extremely bored or because you feel you are actually an authority on all of these matters which means YOU are indeed extremely deluded!
you talk about how you don’t like it when people talk about the one true way to be a slave and all the labels that go with it, then you go right ahead and do it your self!
I personally believe that people should live their life by what’s good for them at the time and that they should be able to do this without people telling them that their life choices aren’t as good as yours.
I’m sure all of Kayas little followers will now come to her rescue as of course she is the only one allowed to have an opinion.
I am an authority on saying what I think.
This post had nothing to do with how to be a slave and everything to do with the difference between online and in-person relationships.
People can live their life how they want and I can tell them they’re stupid for doing so. Ain’t life grand?
I have no followers..lol. But thanks for the ego boost.
Because the thread above on my original post has become too long and convoluted to follow, I’ll comment here.
You, kaya, no longer hold any place of esteem in my book.
“People can live their life how they want and I can tell them they’re stupid for doing so.”
Who in the hell turned you into judge, jury and executioner? When did God reach down and whap you upside the head and say, HEY CUNT … why don’t you do my job for a while?
You’re not a woman, you’re a bitch.
And I don’t care what lofty perch you put yourself on, you’re no slave either. You’re just a woman who’s been conned into becoming a lesser human being for the sake of her “Master.”
When you find yourself again in the midst of all your personal bullshit? You let me know and maybe I’ll reconsider. Until then, I’ll continue to think you’re nothing more than a smug little shit who has to pick on others because her own life is less than perfect. Adieu.
These kind of comments are cute. First, I had no idea I held a “place of esteem” so therefore I won’t miss it now that it’s gone.
Second, I had no idea you were reading so I won’t miss that either.
Third, the idea of me being concerned enough to have you “reconsider” is laughable. You are nobody to me, yanno?
Fourth, everybody judges people. You, me, everyone. You are judging me right now. I’m sure you think that *your* judgements are justified and that I deserve it, just as I think the people I was addressing in my post (probably not you, though I’m sure they appreciate you getting offended on their behalf?) needed to hear it too. So like it or not, you and me? Not so different after all. Judgemental bitches. Welcome to the club.
Rocks off and hats off on your title. Can only assume, but as a betting women, i would wager that your Friends persona would be. . . Chandler. Witty as fuck, wildly hilarious, a wee bit whiny and utterly in need of a Monica.
I found your blog through some random link from some random sex website I was island hopping on. All praise the world wide web! Your life is not mine, and, as you live them, your works and days often make my desires look like baby’s first “tie me up. Ward. Just make sure the Bev can’t hear.” But, but, but, you write with a silver pen and seemless honestly. Your writing is penetrating, illuminative, exacting, and addictive. You and your master’s story is equally so. Good-luck in your move. (seems only polite to say)
ps as to the last comment,
really?
really?
those are the ONLY two reasons kaya would write such a post?
are you naive or is my mind just diabolical?
i can think of lots o’ others, particularly when measured against the idea of early retirement posed not so very long ago
anyways
Hello Kaya!
When I noticed you had posted I was pregnant with enjoyment, I LOVE reading your thoughts, it’s amazing, but when I opened this, and started to read it. I was disgusted. I believe that everyone has a right to be themselves, and to think in their own way. But it took me three days to finally sit down and read this just because it made me sick in my stomach.
I was drowned in feeling of wanting you to understand that I do believe that reality is better. I mean, I would give anything, honestly anything to be with my Master. It just CAN’T happen. I mean, I agree with you, but, it still hurts. To think that I might never get that, and you flaunting it, and shoving it down my throat is horrible, that’s not even the word to describe it. I don’t like swearing and most people are calling you a “bitch”, but in all honesty I don’t think you are.
Something else I want to say is, next time, when you have that feeling that you talked about here, “Do I get that you don’t want to hear that? Ayep. I get that it brings to light everything you are missing. I get that you don’t want to have that pointed out to you. I get that it makes you angry. I get that you spend a lot of time justifying how you’ve settled and I get that you try real hard to convince yourself that you aren’t missing everything that you know you are. I also don’t care.” Don’t say it. If you’re a good mother, you should know this rule, “If you don’t have anything good to say, don’t say anything at all.”
I’m sure you know it, because I know you’re a good mother, all you need to do, is live by it.
Another thing is no one “earns” the right to be a “smug little bitch”, no one should be that at all. You of all people should understand that.
I always thought higher of you. Obviously I shouldn’t have.
Thank you for reading.
Zoey
That is exactly what I was trying to say, for someone who knows that people think highly of you, I would have thought that you would try to be a little kinder towards people who for whatever reason aren’t able to have the kind of relationship you have; or indeed maybe don’t want to. Really? If you have nothing nice to say why not just say nothing. Or are people right do you really just like getting a rise out of people? I get that you are entitled to your opinion I really do, but the only reason I can think for saying that your realationship is better than others is to show how small minded and petty you are!
This –
“If you have nothing nice to say why not just say nothing”
followed by this -
“how small minded and petty you are!”
Too funny.
Kaya,
Your journal has taken some twists and turns over the last year and lately it isn’t much fun to read since it appears to be in response or retaliation to those who don’t agree with you or those you don’t agree with.
The internet is much too big a place to take on with a vengeance – opinions are just that, opinions.
Personally I liked it better when it was humorous and real and about you and your life not about opinions that have been discussed for over a dozen years. I liked it better when it was a learning environment – for you and your readers and the readers who come to “check it out”.
Sometimes changes bring out a different side to people and you are definitely running full force into some major changes in your life – it isn’t easy.
What you wrote about in this post isn’t new – I’ve heard this argument for 15 years. CompuServe and AOL in its infancy started the online BDSM movement and made it more accessible and it scared the fuck out of a lot of us. Exciting and new and yeah, our dreams were right there in front of us on the monitor! Oh my gosh all this is REAL – we didn’t think we were crazy anymore.
Some people found true happiness rather quickly or friendships that turned into real life relationships. I’m one of those, you are one of those, I can think of may more.
Over the 15-20 years or so people tried to meet others online with similar interests and more people then they care to admit have been hurt either emotionally or physically and so a lot of people have chosen to have online relationships vs. real as a protection or personal interest reasons.
Is it better for them? who are you or anyone else to judge that? For you real is better, congratulations Kaya – but writing a spiteful post on it wasn’t called for.
I know what your saying, I’ve read your post, the comments and your comments after that – I hear ya, but I think your post was a little self serving and generally not very nice. It’s not what you say; it’s how you say it sometimes. But then again I could be wrong, you may have just needed to say it and watch the fireworks fly.
I hope to see you write again once you’re settled and you’re no longer reading obsessively about things that flip your switch.
Your light bulbs of ideas are more palatable when you are in your and your M’s world not everyone else’s.
In closing, your logo/banner…not everyone knows how delicious it is to suffer….that is true but those who do know and choose to do it differently aren’t any less “real” in their relationship the way “they” choose it to be. Those who don’t know how delicious it is to suffer may want to know someday and in the meantime they suffer quietly with their online coversations. Its suffering it is just not the way you see it as “real”. Is it more or less fulfilling either way? thats for each of us to determine on our own. At the end of the day, we are with our own thoughts and have to make peace with that.
See ya on the flip side
XO
Sunni
umm. am I the only one who read a post directed at people who claim that an online relationship is as good as, if not better than real life? cuz that’s what I read. might as well give up trying to explain it to the trolls, kaya. they only read what they want to read.
thats how i read it……maybe i’m wrong.
in MY opinion there is no comparison, real life is always better then an online ANYTHING.
“might as well give up trying to explain it to the trolls, kaya. they only read what they want to read”
one of her little followers, i rest my case. kayas your posts used to be enjoyable to read,now you’re just showing how vindictive you can be.
I assume then, that you’re planning on not reading any more? Really, it’s you that doesn’t get it.
Does it look like Kaya’s being a little bitchy? Yes.
But you know, this is her blog and that’s her right. I love that she lets us disagree with her, and if we’re civil about it, no harm no foul.
But did it ever occur to you that all these people who are agreeing with her might be doing so becasue…wait for it…they REALLY DO AGREE WITH WHAT SHE SAID? In fact, I pretty much agree with her as well, for her, reality–hands on– is better than any fantasy or online thing can be for her. All I pointed out in my earlier comment was that for some, that statement wouldn’t be true. For some, the fantasy or online is better for them that reality could ever be.
The biggest disagreement I have with Kaya on this is that for some people, their online relationship, even with all that it’s missing, can be as real to them as her relationship with her Master is to her. It doesn’t matter whether it really is, it FEELS like it is.
I can see both sides of the whole thing. To me it seems like Kaya feels her relationship is belittled when someone claims to have just as good as an in person relationship. I can see that. It’s a little like my bristling at audio books. I reallt can’t understand how someone can enjoy hearing a book as much or more than actually reading one. On the other hand, some people can’t have it any other way, for whatever reason. No doubt, it bothers them when someone, such as Kaya, tells them that they can’t possibly be having as good (Kaya’s word choice) a relationship as soemone who’s doing it in person.
I don’t think there’s a right or wrong here, I think it’s one of those personal preference things. Kaya prefers in person to online and KNOWS that her in person is better than any online she could ever have or imagine. Others perfer online and they KNOW with equal assuredness that their online is better than anythikng they could have or imagine in person. Maybe both are right. maybe, from each person’s perspective, what they have is as good or better than the other’s FROM THEIR OWN POINT OF VIEW. And because they’re coming from such different perspectives, niether can understand how the other can make the claim they do, so it sounds like tit fot tat in some ways. Maybe when it comes to deciding what makes the “best” type of relationship, we should use or assume is being used, the phrase, “for me.” For kaya, in person is the best that can be obtained for a M/s relationship. For me, fantasy is the best that can be obtained for a BDSM relationship. Niethe rof us is wrong, no more than I’m wrong for liking Rocky Road ice cream while someone else hates it and prefers spumonni which I detest.
Oh well, ranting on Kaya’s dime again. Sorry.
Dave
I have absolutely no problem with people having an opposing view from my own, if everyone agreed with me; well theworld wouldbe a dull place indeed. My point was that one persons view doesnt have to be that what i do is better than what you do! which was the point of her post, and please before anybody says that it wasn’t, it was in the title of the post.
You’re absolutely right people should be able to express their point of view but why it has to be done in such a gloaty and superior way is beyond me!!
Wow, Kaya! Whatever gave you the idea that you were allowed to express yourself on your own blog? OH THE HUMANITY! WHEN WILL IT END?
Jesus Christ, people. Settle down. Kaya has a perfectly valid point. I can look at a piece of pizza online, but that isn’t going to be nearly as satisfying as actually having that slice of pizza in my hands, being able to touch it, taste it, smell it.
I’ve done the online relationship stuff, and I have to agree, what a fucking crock. There is no comparison between online and RL. Two totally different things. If being topped online floats your boat? Then hey, good luck with that. IMO, it’s all a sham. You cannot really control a person while doing nothing but typing, and you can’t truly submit to a computer screen.
Now that is just *my* opinion, and frankly, no amoutn of bitching, whining or calling me a bitch for daring to HAVE that opinion is going to change it. Your opinion may differ. Good for you.
Now, having said that, Kaya has every right to say what she feels on her own blog. And if you don’t like it? Don’t read it. It’s really that simple. Or you can sit here and try to convince everyone that we’re all evil because we think your online relationship does NOT compare with what RL can offer. That option just makes it appear as if you’re insecure about it yourself.
“Wow, Kaya! Whatever gave you the idea that you were allowed to express yourself on your own blog? OH THE HUMANITY! WHEN WILL IT END?”
“The Straw Man fallacy is committed when a person simply ignores a person’s actual position and substitutes a distorted, exaggerated or misrepresented version of that position. This sort of “reasoning” has the following pattern:
Person A has position X.
Person B presents position Y (which is a distorted version of X).
Person B attacks position Y.
Therefore X is false/incorrect/flawed.
This sort of “reasoning” is fallacious because attacking a distorted version of a position simply does not constitute an attack on the position itself. One might as well expect an attack on a poor drawing of a person to hurt the person.”
Wheras:
X = Disagreement with something Cunt wrote
Y = Claiming she is disallowed to express herself or her opinions, or any censor on her blog
B = You.
“Now, having said that, Kaya has every right to say what she feels on her own blog. And if you don’t like it? Don’t read it.”
Where did anyone say or imply that she does not have the right to say what she feels on her own blog?
Also, why not apply the “if you don’t like it, dont read it!” philosophy to the comments you don’t enjoy reading? Are the commenters on her blog not afforded that same right to express their opinion within their own comment (or does this right only extend to commenters who agree with you)?
There is a difference between expressing disagreement and attempting censorship.
*whereas
Oh, that’s funny. I pop in every once in awhile, but not often at all. Most of the comments here? I pass over them. But this whole debate is fucking stupid. Her blog, her opinion, last I checked it didn’t actually directly EFFECT anyone but her and her Master.
If you’re looking for an argument, you’re certainly attempting that with the wrong person.
Hi. Welcome to the internet.
*AFFECT
For the record – i actually don’t have an online relationship and never have. I was merely just trying to point out how Kaya’s comments could be construed as bitchy and patronising, I however really do give up, and in answer to a previous question; no i will not be reading any more.
wow. I didn’t realize that my perception of a stranger’s post made me a “little follower”. honey, I have my own blog, my own ideals/beliefs, and *gasp* many of them don’t coincide with kaya’s. guess what? I don’t give a rat’s ass, and I’m quite sure neither does she. I read what I read, and all I saw was spewing defensive bullshit out of what honestly sounds like jealousy. whether it is or not, it sure as fuck sounds like it. but hey, I’m just a “follower.” I don’t have a brain of my own. *smiles* may I have my next imaginary orders, mistress kaya?
i see i’ve missed a great big drama while not being online for a day or so.
Well, wasn’t that a pot of joy to read….
Sorry honey. This is your journal; you can say whatever you want. We’re the lucky ones who get to read, share, and even make comments. Even with the best of ‘em, there’s bound to be negative nancys.
The commenter on the Olympics just got a really pinched voice that made me whip around to look at the swimmers. They all look the same.
Bravo to you for taking a stand, being you, utilizing your right to free speech without censorship, and for being so freaking adorable in your sardonic sarcasm…
*kiss*
Hmmmmm,
I see that I too have missed the drama, which I despise. I will have to say that I feel that kaya was attempting to compare a real life relationship to an online relationship. She has issues with this because of the fact that “in her eyes” it deals with a lot of fantasy. She doesn’t cyber, doesn’t do phone sex.
I think this is what she’s attempting to say or get a general input from people. How does it work? She understands that there are REAL people with REAL feelings behind each screen name, nickname, address or whatever.I think what she is saying is…that when online, it’s self BDSM or whatever compared to reallife. I think she is saying that she prefers the in person compared to the self BDSM. She does the Self BDSM especially when I travel and Task her to do stuff. So with this in retrospect……she’s asking in her own way….HOW DOES IT WORK and HOW CAN IT over years and years ( again not saying it can’t work or it’s not real, but in hindsight…..said person is Topping themselves).
Anyways…I am not defending kaya or attacking or defending anyone else for that matter, just giving my two cents and am also curious of how does it work. I am an all or nothing kind of person, so is kaya…..
Take care and be well and safe,
Master of kaya
Wow are you kidding me … Kaya trying to find out how online BDSM work’s & how it can. I must have read her post a million times and not once did she ask those questions. Perhaps I missed it .. don’t think so. I will however agree that in person is much more fulfilling *for me …
I will also agree that this poat was meant to belittle how others do their thing (online)
I completely agree with you OXOXOX! Trying to figure out how BDSM works? I don’t think so. Not in this post. Nice try though …
All you have to do is read the title of the post. *gloating* Duh. It’s not rocket science.
you are a spiteful gloating girl who I hope gets what is coming to you- and by that I mean dumped by your master who clearly has so much more maturity and intelligence than you and doesnt need to be provocative and insulting for effect.
no matter how he tries to placate what you wrote it was a smug cruel jibe at people who havent, for whatever reason, been able to have a real life relationship.
and who are you to judge them?
the sooner you are a cunt in a cage and silenced the better for us all
You should never wish ill will on someone, even if they are saying something terrible.
yes, you are right Zoey- I take back the ill-wishes x
Who are you to judge me? See how this works? You read something that you don’t like, you judge it, and you feel the need to say so. Rudely, crudely and with no regard for my feelings.
Which, hmm, is exactly what I did in my post. I feel just as justified in my judgement of online roleplayers as you do in your judgement of me.
I guess we’re both judgemental bitches, Emily.
Oh my, the internet really is serious business.
I love all of the comments complaining about this entry, especially the commenters who took the time to write two or three responses in this thread. If they were as “disappointed” by this entry as they all claim to be, why are they still here? Nothing better to do on a summer weekend than sit on the internet keeping tabs on an argument on someone else’s blog? And no, I won’t be checking back on the comments after I post this–life is too short to waste time worrying about the size of my e-peen.
No wonder Kaya is sick of blogging. I don’t know how her, or any other blogger, puts up with this shit for this long.
Y’know what i’m impressed with?
kaya, i totally heart that you are OWNING your words. You are completely admitting, up-front-and-in-yo’-face, that your words might be offensive to some people. You are completely admitting that you ARE a judgemental bitch, instead of backtracking or trying to twist what you’ve said to make it seem more “pretty.”
People who bitch on blogs really need to get a hobby. Knitting, scrapbooking, SOMETHING.
i was upset with one teensy little tidbit, though…since i live close to where you visit in IL, i was sort of hoping for a meet-n-greet one day. =)
I’m so with you on this ‘rant’.
Sure i have a horrid long distance relationship and sure when together we live within the ways of our chosen lifestyle…
however
I am no way confused over how i live when i am away and at home. For the most part i do what needs to be done. Would that happen after we move in together – hell no, not unless im looking for a nice red bottom!
SL… well holy hell.. look at all the pixel sex batman! That is all it is. Its not REALLY submitting. How easy is it to press and hold the power button when your uncomfortable and have a “power outage”. Um… id like to see someone try that one in real life. Would that not be the cats ass!
All too often i hear of how great their life is when they go into avies and have a “relationship”. But you know what? One CANNOT replace the feeling of a kiss or a hug or hearing words with typed text.
Hugging a ((hug)) back is like making out with a cold fish… worse because that cold fish is just in your imagination. You know what they told you about your imaginary friends when you were little right…… *nods* ya…their not real…..
Erm. I’ve only had cyber relationships, period. And you wanna know what? I was not in any way, shape or form insulted or offended by kaya’s post. Like a commenter pointed out earlier, it sounds like this post was directed at online submissives and/or slaves who think their *strictly* online relationships are the same or better than a real-life one. Talk about delusional. But that’s cool, they can be as delusional as they like. Just as kaya can be as judgmental as she likes on *her* blog.
I get as much as I can out of my online relationship, but I know it cannot come even remotely close to real-life. I wish like hell I was in a different country right now with a certain man who would use and abuse me just like we both want (Hiya, Sir!
). But I’m not and my online relationship with him is inferior to what we would have in real-life. Now, for those of you with poor reading comprehension skills, I am not saying that makes me inferior to kaya or to her *entire* relationship with her Master. But from a strictly BDSM point of view, I would say that, yes, my relationship pales in comparison to her reality. Can you say fucking obvious? I knew ya could.
i can’t believe people are still writing negative words… i thought they had said “i won’t be back?”
This kind of stuff is addicting though. lol
Do not (please) let it get you down. The rest of us are still here
)
xoxx
They always say they wont be back. And then they run to some anonymous server thing and come back anyway..lol. Silly gooses.
It doesn’t get me down. Not anymore. It’s just the internet, for goodness sake!
im glad you arent letting this get you down kaya… and just so you know, like toy said- the rest of us are still here..
hugs,
Hisflower
LOL- you said silly gooses!
That’s just too fucking funny. You have no idea why, but it is.
Silly gooses…
Anyway, you know, i keep coming back to see who said what and i’m completely not responding anymore (though, i’d support and come to your protection at any point with my own linguistic skills) but i personally think the point has been made.
Ten times over.
You spoke about one of your own convictions; some people agree, some people don’t but the point that became lost is that it is one of your belief- it’s not a law. We’re all grown ups here, even if silly gooses at times, those who opt to attack you for one of your beliefs and attack your character and intelligence are just not worthy so whatever…
there’s the social worker in me.
i will not write on this thread again! How about a new post! Re-post your favorite post or something…?
i don’t know. Just an idea. You know i love you no matter what. Ya big silly goose
I think it’s funny because kaya doesn’t know the plural of “goose” is “geese”.
i think she was trying to be cute, ya know, in terms of using ‘slang’ cuteness.
In fact, she does know the difference between goose and geese and for the sake of being cute because she can, she opted to use a non-technical word of our culture. That’s one thing that’s being forgotten here in all this senseless and unfair animosity: it’s her choice with what she does.
Bottom line.
Gooses or geese.
I thought it was cute also…
I think she doesn’t know the difference, which limits her choices considerably.
Apparently your chices are also considerably limited. All you know how to do is bitch about grammar while claiming to be above all this. Or maybe it’s that stick up your ass.
Good lord. CHOICES. Please, put away the red pencil.
Maybe *what* is that stick up my ass? Your two last sentences imply some sort of connection that doesn’t seem to exist.
*pulling my red pen out of my ass and circling your incoherent thoughts with it, then using it cross you out*
Goodbye.
Kaya said:
I think people who claim online relationships are just as good, if not better than ‘real time’ (because oh how they suffer all alone) are delusional.
While the drama and cat fights are mildly entertaining I think a lot of people need to take 6th grade reading comprehension again. This sentence is what she was talking about. Not that you shouldn’t have online relationships or that they don’t have their place just that they do not compare in any shape form or fashion to a face to face real time relationship. The two are completely apples and oranges. How is it people read something completely different from what was wrtten no matter what the tone of the words are. Drives me nuts.
Kaya thank you for posting thought provoking posts I truly enjoy them and your style both in posts and in the comments. Good luck with the packing and moving and unpacking and moving in and making a new warm and inviting home for your family.
Thank you!
wow………i TOTALLY agree.
This is a scary discussion to wade into, because I do realize I am exactly what Kaya is talking about, and that I hold my relationship up to ridicule here.
My relationship is a cyber one. I am a cyber submissive. In a long term relationship. With all the technology I can bring to bear on that, voice, phone, webcams. And yes I do fantasize about “real”. But that’s not what my relationship is, nor what its ever likely to be (should I have had an apostrophe in my “its”?).
You hit us where we live on this one Kaya, or maybe where we don’t live. We read your blog, and think of you as our friend, so there is a sense of betrayal there.
Now, here’s what I think. I think that the thing that makes D/s different from vanilla is in our brains. Its the way we are wired, that we get a thrill from submitting, from obeying, from pleasing. Can I get that online. I can. Would it be different in person? I expect it would.
But the stuff that makes it different in person isn’t so much about D/s as it is about bodies. And that part can be either vanilla or bdsm.
Of course it would be different to have the physical, or, I assume it would be different. And perhaps if I lived with HIM for real, I wouldn’t feel the same about him. I expect that lots of things would be different.
Yes, I do get off on pain too, and my Master finds creative ways to give me that, that satisfy me and him.
I also think that there are advantages to online. While I don’t get the hugs and the hits in person, I also don’t do the laundry or clean the toilets. And while that may well be part of the bdsm in real life, I don’t think its the most essential part.
I want to say that “better”, for Kaya, is her life, her relationship, her Master. Better for me is mine, my life, my relationship, my Master.
I don’t want Kaya’s life or her relationship, or her Master, although damn he sounds yummy sometimes. However hot he sounds, however hot they sound, its THEIR relationship, not mine. (And on the days when he is hammering her tits into a board, I am pretty glad about that!)
I fantasize about “real” sometimes, about what it would be like, but I am very happy with my own life, my own relationship. I recognize that things would likely be quite different from online.
For me, my adored online Dom is better than her scary Master.
tina
p.s. Kaya’s Master says she doesn’t do phone sex or cyber. Does that include with him when he is travelling?
“Kaya’s Master says she doesn’t do phone sex or cyber. Does that include with him when he is travelling?”
It does. Once I had the real thing, cyber just seemed… silly. Fake. A waste of time. I can’t even pretend it. It just doesn’t work for me at all.
Now watch, someone will say that I’ve slammed cybering and I’m judging them for doing it. *eyeroll*
Lol! If their mean to you, I’ll cyber kick their ass, since it hurts so much.
Personally I don’t think a purely online relationship would work for me unless I knew it would progress to a real life relationship. I also don’t understand why people are so upset other then the simple first sentence about “gloating” – it was a personal opinion that your online relationship is better then “someones” online relationship. Kaya, I’m curious, what sparked this post to start with?
My real life relationship is better then what I imagine a online relationship is. Mine started online but only for 6 months and we’ve been togethr for 12 years now. I didnt like being long distance online at all.
We are not a heavy BDSM or D/s couple. We are fetish people, not a Dom, not a slave – so perhaps that is why I’m not nearly as defensive as some are with this post.
I hope to see your posts after the move and when things are settled – I loved your humor when I first starting reading your blog – I love the rawness to it – now it seems raw in a way that doesn’t involve details of learning about a real couple. It is emotionally raw.
I hope to see posts about your lifestyle not posts where you feel you have to defend your lifestyle.
We can get that on alot of blogs – yours was different – dont let the odd balls change your curious warm funny witty smart self.
stay safe – Sunnilady
Personally i agree with what kaya said, it’s how she said it i have difficulties with.
But hey its her blog…
i dont have to read it.Right?
Well i’ve read it and i found it rude.
Well maybe she had a bad day, hormones whatever.
Maybe she just is that way.
As long as her Master is happy with it…
Who am i to judge anyway.
joy{T}
I have to say that I agree with you entirely. I don’t believe people when they say they’re completely satisfied with their online relationship and that they wouldn’t feel differently if their relationship turned into a physical relationship. Obviously it’s going to feel better because they’re no longer just topping themselves or wishing for the closeness, now they have it. And to say that their online relationship is equivalent to your in person relationship is just ridiculous.
Some people seem to be displeased by the fact that an in person relationship compares significantly better to an online relationship, but one of the MANY reasons for this (as you pointed out) is based on the five senses. Mere words cannot equate to a relationship, only a part of one because humans actually do more of their communicating non verbally (ie body language, tones, facial expressions) which words on a computer screen cannot equal.
I can understand how some people may be offended, but at the same time I have to say that Kaya never once said she thought she was better than anyone else, or that her relationship was better than yours (though it’s easy to see how someone may get that confused). Her whole point to this post (in my opinion) just seemed to be that her IN PERSON PHYSICAL relationship was better than a CYBER relationship.
I think most people (secretly) agree that a physical relationship in which you can be face to face with your lover is better than a relationship where you can’t see them often (or at all), can only hear their voice through a phone and not actually see them and hold them etc. But like Kaya mentioned, a lot of people just don’t want to hear it because it’s their relationship and what they’re taking. It seems to me as though there is also a difference in opinions with people who HAVE met their SO in person (while in a cyber relationship) who are willing to admit that yes, being in person is better while those who are just purely online are adamant against it and refuse to believe it for a second.
From my own perspective, I’ve been in a few cyber relationships. One I was in for nearly three years, and he only was able to visit once and being able to actually see him face to face was so much better than being online. I couldn’t even compare it at that point. We broke up, and ever since then I don’t think I could ever do a cyber relationship again and I’m always going to go with in person relationships. I want to be able to feel and smell and hear and taste and see my partner whenever I want rather than having to wait for certain dates.
Anyways, this is long.
Good job Kaya for posting this, it’s interesting to read and it’s definitely interesting to read other people’s views on this (as well as the drama, because clearly everyone on the internet must take into consideration every bodies feelings. This isn’t kindergarten folks, we don’t have to share and play nice if we don’t want to). I personally love reading your opinions on topics that most people are too scared too approach, and I think it provides more of an inlook into who you are as a person rather than just reading about your lifestyle (which I think people who keep asking you to just focus on writing about your lifestyle merely want the fantasy that it could potentially provide them rather than having to read more about who you are as a person).
So again, thank you for writing this and thanks for not backing down even after people continued to misunderstand your point and attack you for it.
Also, I hope your moving goes well!
good points but one thing you said
which I think people who keep asking you to just focus on writing about your lifestyle merely want the fantasy that it could potentially provide them rather than having to read more about who you are as a person).
not why I read her journal – I dont have fantasies of doing half of what her and her M do – I do however enjoy the results she has emotionally from it and how the issues with a BDSM relationship transform – it has nothing to do with fantasy for me anyway.
Yeah, sorry for generalizing. However, I can completely understand why you’d read for seeing how she deals with things and how her relationship evolves (something I also enjoy about her blog).
Anyways, again sorry for generalizing and sorry if I offended you!
Wasn’t my intention.
no offense taken –
“I can understand how some people may be offended, but at the same time I have to say that Kaya never once said she thought she was better than anyone else, or that her relationship was better than yours (though it’s easy to see how someone may get that confused).”
Read what this post is called, “The one where I gloat about how much better my relationship is than yours.”
So yes. She did say her relationship is better.
The entire post isn’t about HER relationship triumphs over you, it’s saying that her IN PERSON relationship is better than a CYBER relationship.
In fact the opening line of the post is: “I just had to poke my head in and say that I think my in-person relationship is way better than your online relationship. That’s right. Better.”
So while YES, the title does that say that, I’m going to go out on a limb and say that’s NOT what the post is about BASED on the CONTENT of the post. Not the title. The title means shit in relation to the post. ASIDE from the title I don’t think you’ll find at one point that she says her relationship triumphs EVERY relationship (in person OR cyber). If you can find me an example as to where she said specifically that her relationship is better than anybody’s elses throughout her post OR her comments (excluding the title) then I can understand why you’re upset but getting so bent out of shape over JUST a title is ridiculous.
I can understand that you’re upset by this post since you’re in a situation which she is saying her relationship is better than yours (though realize she’s saying her IN PERSON relationship is better than your CYBER relationship, not HER relationship is better than YOUR relationship, and yes there is a difference).
“If you tried to tell me that what you fantasize about or what you write is the *equivalent* of actually DOING it, I’d tell you that you were off your rocker too. Cuz it ain’t so. But that’s what some people say; that there is NO difference between online and real life and that is a crock of shit.” <- I think this is a perfectly valid point and can understand her frustration with people claiming to have the EXACT same relationship online than in person because there’s a huge difference between having it done to you and having the fantasy of it done/doing it to yourself.
Also: “I never once said that *I* was better than anyone. I said my in-person relationship was better than an online cyber relationship.” <- This also backs up my point that she never said (again, excluding the title which I think people are just making more out of it than what she meant) her relationship is better than your’s or mine, just that it’s better in person than cybering.
/end
Har har – this one slays me.
Let’s contrast these two quotes from the above statement:
1) The entire post isn’t about HER relationship triumphs over you,
AND
2) I can understand that you’re upset by this post since you’re in a situation which she is saying her relationship is better than yours
AND
the use of the word “triumphs” is an absolute hoot. Are you thinking of “trumps”?
I love it when people try to sound smart using words they don’t know the meaning of.
I actually meant: “the post isn’t about her relationship triumphing over yours” (since it also means victorious). That was obviously just a bad typo on my end, but thanks for being so polite in correcting me.
Also, if you read the brackets following the statement then you’ll see that I put brackets saying: “(though realize she’s saying her IN PERSON relationship is better than your CYBER relationship, not HER relationship is better than YOUR relationship, and yes there is a difference).” But way to ignore that. I suppose if editing it by getting rid of the brackets helps you further your point then the more power to you.
Congratulations though, you managed to misrepresent my words and make me look like a dumb ass for a simple error, but it’s okay! That’s what all the cool kids on the internet do anyways!
Also: Just using the word trumps in replace of triumph wouldn’t have made the sentence correct anyway. The real error is the “you” in that sentence because in order for it to work as trumps the you needs to be “yours” or “your relationship”. I think since you’re such a wizard with the English language then you’ll agree that the sentence, “The entire post isn’t about HER relationship trumps over you” is still grammatically wrong.
Just thought I’d point that out since your judgement on my intelligence just seems to be based on that sentence alone.
Oh, and the fact that we have a difference of opinions. 
But thanks for the lols.
Since you used the word “triumphs” TWICE, not once, it was clear to me that it was a misuse of the word, also called a malapropism. But thank you for pointing out that your original sentence actually contained more errors than I pointed out!
***Congratulations though, you managed to misrepresent my words and make me look like a dumb ass*** <—– Thank you, I thought so too.
Oh yeah, when you said “misrepresent”, you meant to say “misconstrue”. LOLOLOLOL
Triumphs was the word I chose to use to explain my point, though I will admit I used wrongly in a grammatical sense since the first sentence with it in it had it’s own error, as well as the second time I used to it should have been “triumphs over” which was the idea I meant to convey.
Anyways, I’m done with this. Fighting on the internet is beyond stupid since we’re not going to get anywhere. Let’s just say you think I’m a dumb ass and I think you’re a douche bag of a troll. ;D Agreed?
PS: so i herd u liek mudkips?
“the first sentence with it in it had it’s own error” <—– here, you mean “its”.
“the second time I used to it should have been” <——- here, you meant “the second time I used it, it should have been”
“you think I’m a dumb ass” <——– here, you meant that you are clearly a dumb ass.
You should have said **this** in the first place. It makes you look smarter.
What the hell does this have to do with anything? Learn how to argue, idiot.
larlarlar
kk, you done yet? This is getting too long and too ridiculous. What was even your point other than to make fun of me in order to make yourself feel better?
You must have a very unfilling emotional life to sit in front of a computer screen all day trollin’ it up. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go engage in my very fullfilling IN PERSON relationship and get my brains fucked out.
Thanks <3
PS: You’ve posted twice more since you said you were done with this. That fulfilling in-person relationship of yours must not be calling loud enough just yet. Heh.
… and I don’t think getting your “brains fucked out” is going to hurt you very much.
(Even kaya wants to high-five me for that one.)
You’re really just insulting this person’s intelligence over, and over, and over, for no good reason – You really don’t even have anything to say on the topic they were attempting to intelligently discuss with the others who actually care about it. You’re really just wasting space, and wasting time.
You have done fairly well with this comment. Bravo! The main thing that needs work is your use of the word “they” when what you mean is “she”. That is, your sentence should read, “You really don’t even have anything to say on the topic SHE WAS attempting to intelligently discuss…” Your liberal use of commas might need addressing too but I would suggest you not worry about that until you have a good handle on subjects and predicates.
You, however, need to learn what a subject is and what a predicate is as well. Furthermore, in the case of unidentified gender “they” is in fact the word I should be using, not “she”. The comma issue is a matter of preference and it’s not your position to decide whether or not the amount of commas I use is appropriate.
You’ve been too hasty in acquiring the title of Grammar Nazi, my friend – I have outdone you once more. <3
Nope, “they” is *always* incorrect in that instance. You need to use “he or she” if you are uncertain because these are both singular and “they” is plural.
In order for you to outdo me “once again” you would have needed to have outdone me on more than one occasion. The count is still:
you = zero.
Anonymous,
Which style guide are you referencing? While I agree this topic is not clear cut, to say that using “they is *always* incorrect” means that you feel that the Random House Dictionary and Fowler’s Modern English Usage are both just plain wrong, as well as authors such as Jane Austen, Lewis Carroll, and Shakespeare.
How did you manage to acquire this level of grammatical authority?
Please do quote me the instances in which Austen, Carroll and Shakespeare used the word “they” to refer to one person of indeterminate gender. I would very much enjoy being enlightened in the manner, and if you can prove yourself correct I will most humbly bow to your greater wisdom. Until then I will feel confident that my education — two undergraduate degrees and a Masters degree – has served me well.
in *this* manner
you sir, or lady, are an asshole. Is that spelled correctly enough for you, motherfucker???
Your spelling is correct. It cannot, however, be correct “enough” because spelling does not have degrees of correctness. It is either correct or incorrect. Yes, your spelling is impeccable.
You did, however, begin your first sentence with a lower case letter.
You need to take a handful of xanax and just go away, surely someone as highly educated as yourself must have better things to do with your highly developed “teacher’s mind.”
…and *you* need a full stop rather than a comma between “away’ and “surely”.
blah
blah
blah
Good point.
Damn thats a lot of boxes.
that seriously made me snort…are you the same prof on gloria’s board?
if so, I know you from when she first started that board.
I’m not afraid to post as I have, and I’m not about to go to the trouble to hide behind a proxy server either.
I can’t remember where this was written on the page. But somewhere someone or you yourself said that you don’t like it when others belittle you Real life relationship. Real life is better hands down, but you shouldn’t be belittling others relationships in whatever form that they may be. You don’t like it when they do it to you, I doubt they like it when you do it to them.
I think that is what a majority of everyones issue is here. You say you don’t like it when it happens to you, yet you do it right back to them? Obviously it’s enough to make quite a few people stop and go uh what???
I like your blog Kaya, I really do, I enjoy reading it. Just not when it’s like this.
Is it National Panty-Twisting Week??? Did I miss something???
you have implied several times you might quit blogging. that will never happen. the two of you need the attention too much.
AGREE!
So true!!!!
Hey honey– i wrote up something on a locked post for you at the LJ. Looking forward to your comments.
Okay, this is just absolutely ridiculous. This is one of the reasons I stopped blogging in the first place. It gets to the stage where you can’t write what you want to write, because there is always someone waiting in the wings to voice there opinion.
Kaya is right. Everybody is judgemental. I am. Because I am sitting here looking at some of the mental midgets ranting and raving and protecting what they believe is real. Does it matter? What is real to me and to my Master, may not be real to kaya, to her Master or to anyone else. So what the hell does it matter?
The fact that this has gone from someones opinion on something to an english lesson amazes me. Seems that there are far to many people out there with nothing else to do. Except be overly judgemental of others. Ridiculous. I agree with kaya, I’ve done online and I’ve done and am still doing real life. Online may measure up for some, but for me? I need that one on one, I need to be able to look into His eyes and see that He means what He says. It’s very hard to feel genuine fear at the thought of Master weilding a cane and destroying my ass, thru a computer screen.
What works for some, doesn’t work for others. It’s different strokes for different folks. Deal with it.
Nice post kaya, btw!
Considering that most “teachers” I have known appear to have gotten their degree from a Cracker Jack box, this individual’s lack of maturity doesn’t surprise me. I find it amusing that she thinks picking apart the grammar/spelling of other people makes her appear intelligent. I have pet peeves when it comes to this sort of thing, such as the use of the word “of”, instead of “have”, etc. However, this woman, (and I use the term loosely), is simply attempting to create animosity. She sounds like an idiot to me.
***Considering that most “teachers” I have known appear to have gotten their degree from a Cracker Jack box…*** <———Another good point about the American education system. I wouldn’t send my dog to school there.
It has nothing to do with the American education system. Every country has a bad point. Now stick to the topic or go away.
I don’t really understand why you are acting like a teacher on this board though. Honestly, no one is paying you to grade our work, isn’t that the only reason teachers teach?
Now if something is wrong with this, please don’t tell me, I never said I’m great at spelling, or grammer, or whatever else you throw at me. Please leave or speak about the “issue”.
****Honestly, no one is paying you to grade our work, isn’t that the only reason teachers teach?**** <————- Wow, how very American of you.
The funny thing is, Zoey, that I agreed with your first comment on Kaya’s post. Now I’m watching you jump all over the place, arguing both sides and making contradictory statements. I stand by my initial assessment. Kaya is insecure and unhappy and bored. She claims an utter lack of respect for cyber-relationships but has no qualms about finding all her entertainment and friendship through it. Very inconsistent and very obviously a bitter, miserable woman.
I’m not American, thank you. I’m Canadian. Now please don’t say it is the same, because it isn’t even close.
The reason why I was jumping was because I find that both sides have their pros and cons, and I agree with some things, and disagree with others. If you look, I never say different from what I thought originally. If I did, I’m sorry.
I do agree with your statement, when you say that Kaya is bored. I just can’t agree that she is insecure, or unhappy. I don’t really know though, because I don’t follow her around.
I just believe that she should post something new, so everyone will stop commenting on this one. The only reason why it has been going on so long is because she left it at this.
Thank you for not accessing me on my writing skills. I know they aren’t up to date. They kind of suck actually, and I honestly think I need to have more respect for the English language, and I do. I’m simply commenting on a board, and I don’t think it has anything to do with the way I write, or the way I spell. Even if you may think its different.
Thank you for reading,
Zoey
I can tell you are Canadian because you have manners.
LOL. Your agreement with me that kaya is bored is a good start. Basic principals of psychology also back up my suggestion that she is unhappy and dissatisfied and protecting herself through several defense mechanisms, including: acting out, passive aggression, and projection.
By the way, I’d like to point out that I am not the only “grammar Nazi” on this board. Several of the corrections were posted by others!
Sorry that I grouped all “grammar Nazis” together, you are all called “Anonymous”, as you know. So it is hard to tell which is which.
You are right, she is acting in the sense that she is unhappy with herself, so she is bringing others down to her level to make her seem bigger.
The problem is that in some cases, it is simply stress that causes these break-downs. Now I’ve moved many times in my life, and I know that it is stressful. Although that isn’t an excuse for the way she is acting, if indeed that is the case.
So I don’t know, I wish I did. If she is unhappy, I wish I could help, but I can’t so there is no point in arguing that fact.
Thank you,
Zoey
Zoey, you and I seem to agree more than we disagree. Thank you for explaining yourself.
It is obvious from kays’s posts just how miserable she has been. Sure she has awesome highs and way to many lows. Wasn’t it months she went without even having sex with her husband? How does she make herself feel good about that, by knocking other people down. her D/s real life relationship is so good, she and her “master” have talked about stopping it all together.
She also allows her “master” to master her children. Just come in one day and say we are moving and we are moving to this place. No warning to the children, changing up there schools. Great mom.
Ofcourse she needs to come on here and blast those who are unfortunate to have real life relationships.
I have been married to my Master for years but I would never say this is better than someone else’s, for them it may not be.
Right. Don’t forget this is the same woman who said, a few posts back, that there was nothing wrong with giving up one’s children if “Master” says so. *eye roll*
i know that i said i wasn’t going to write anymore on this but come on now people… Where is the point of being purposefully hurtful? Can’t you just move on if you don’t agree and let well enough be alone?
What started this whole thread of nastiness?
i don’t understand.
Where has humanity gone?
Perhaps this whole post and all of its responses is a psychological assessment of some sort or a subliminal query for “who is out there” and what they have (or do not have) to bring to the table. Let’s hope this is not representative of the whole…
I find the actual points being driven home that attack kaya and her life to be really sad. i am one of those ones who resists slinging words back and forth, but come now people… we’re adults. We don’t have to act like teenagers struggling for autonomy. Where is the satisfaction in picking apart grammar or the way one chooses to live their lives?
i’ll say it for her because i’m so bold: think about what you’re saying here. Whether you’re having a bad day or are not happy with things in your own life, there’s no reason to take it out on an easy target.
There’s also a way to disagree that will preserve your dignity instead of all this deliberate attacks on one another. Can’t we all just get along?
Seriously.
Hehehe, it’s Rodney King.
i agree with toy 1000%…everyone has their own opinions and their own lives… just be happy with what you have and be happy that others have what they have..
and please, everyone makes mistakes with grammar, let it go already- we arent having a test, for goodness sake..
Hisflower
I agree with you about the grammar thing.
I just don’t agree with “everyone has their own opinions” comment. Since everyone has their own opinion, I think everyone should be allowed to express it, not just Kaya, and that is MY opinion.
Still, people need to stop commenting about grammar, it is stupid and immature. I could pick up a dictionary, and writing book, and figure out everyones problems too.
Personally I reckon the grammar nazi was just trying to wind everyone up. Don’t rise to the bait, I say! The boxes looked pretty though
I know! When I was scrolling down I was like, “Ooooo, That looks like some sort of a peice of art.
****I could pick up a dictionary, and writing book**** <——–Yes, I highly recommend you do just that.
Wow. Are you actually still reading all of these? ‘Cause that’d be impressive. Way to go on making a post that exploded this much. I think it’s impressive that you, all by your lonesome, managed to suck up this much of other people’s time (mine included, lol, it’s just addictive).
Hope your packing and moving is going well, dear.
huh. if you look at the page for too long it makes you dizzy! XP
Okay, folks…I think 183 comments still comin in a week later is a bit much, especially when only a small portion of them are constructive. I’m closin em down. Kaya can open them back up if she likes.