The more things change, the more they stay the same.
I’ve been getting my rocks off to Master’s quiet control lately. We’ve exchanged those big scenes where he hammered nails through my flesh for more subtle dominance.
And I LIKE it.
It’s not really anything new, maybe it’s just that I notice and focus on it more because none of the other stuff is distracting me from it. Or maybe I’m desperate.
I mean, I’ve turned the fact that he picked out my new eyeglass frames, a set that I wouldn’t have chosen myself, into new masturbatory material.
LOL. Desperate. *nods*
Here’s something completely weird. As you all know, there’s been a wonderful lack of vulgar-kaya photos here at Under His Hand lately. (You may send Thank You cards to the email address listed to the left …hehe) That’s not because he’s suddenly decided that I don’t have to post them anymore, it’s because we just aren’t playing like we used to.
Not because we’re done with it or anything, but because of a lack of time, energy, privacy, blah blah blah.
So, as is typical of The Way of Things™… the less you do, the less you want. As we’ve been doing way less, I really hardly think about it. I certainly don’t pine away for it and, to be honest, if he were to throw all the toys away right this very minute, I’d help him bag them up.
Well, except for the glass dildos. I really like those.
And my bullet vibe.
Maybe keep one set of clamps cuz sometimes I still clamp my own nipples when I masturbate and that’s really dang frustrating to not have the super-owie clamps when you’re in the mood for super-owie and all you can find is a stupid set of clothespins that you can’t even FEEL, ffs!
So there. Clovers, Bullet and Glass. That’s all I need.
And the whip.
But that’s all.
Well, okay, maybe I’d ask him to keep the toys but that’s not even pertinent to where I’m trying to go with this entry. So nevermind all of that.
My point is– we don’t post pictures of that nature hardly ever anymore and I don’t miss that. Like, at all.
I kept waiting and waiting for my stats to fall when we kind of moved away from the more in-your-face posts but they never did. So now, sometimes we’ll be doing something and I’ll think “man, this would make a great shot for the blog!” and then I’ll just dismiss it completely. So the weird thing is that you all still read and now I’m worried that if I do have to start posting pictures of my nasty hairy cunt (and it is. Oh-Em-Gee! is it ever), then you’ll all run screaming into the night never to return.
It’s like I’ve come full circle. I used to be all, if I don’t post pictures they won’t read! and now I’m all, if I post pictures, they won’t read! Hee.
I think if he ever does get back into taking pictures and posting them, I’ll probably be back at square one with the “but I don’t wannaaaaa!” Lucy Ricardo-wail.
I’m really good at that, btw. The wail. My grandma and I spent many many hours watching Lucy. You know what’s funny about it? There was a pretty darn strong D/s theme that ran through them shows and even way back then, it made me squirmy in my seat. Lucy even got turned over Ricky’s knee a time or two. I knew I was going to marry Ricky and then I was going to throw flour around the kitchen and stomp my feet until he spanked me back into obedience.
*nods*
I had a life plan.
Anyway.
Speaking of life plans. Here’s a doozy. Maybe y’all can help us figure this one out.
Master’s got a job promotion on the table right now.
Not here. Same company- different town.
The town we just moved from.
Oy.
So here’s the pros and cons list that I’ve got so far:
Pros:
1. It’s mostly a desk job which is safer and easier for him. Gets him out of the elements.
2. Pay raise.
3. Going to the store for groceries is not a major event, requiring that we pack emergency camping gear in the trunk.
4. The kids REALLY miss living there. They are doing fine here and have made a decent circle of friends- but given the choice to “go home”? They’d jump at it. They’d cry tears of happiness.
5. Closer to family, both mine and his.
6. Closer to friends that I really miss. (waves to Carrie! w00t!)
7. HUGE, huge advancement opportunities for him within the company.
8. The economy scares me bunches in this area.
9. Because we wouldn’t see each other all the time, we’ll play and fuck more when we do. That’s how it works! That’s how it’s always worked.
10. In a few years, we’d be sitting pretty. Fer realz.
Cons:
1. We really like this house. Omg. I kiss the walls I love it so much.
2. We really like this yard.
3. We LOVE the people we’ve met up here. We’ve made some terrific friends who are kinky and sexy and everything.
4. If he doesn’t take the offer, nothing changes with his current position. He’s not in danger of a layoff or a paycut or anything.
5. He likes his current position and the people he works with.
6. He’d lose his company vehicle.
7. Moving. Ugh.
8. The economy is bad everywhere.
9. We’d be living seperate during the week again, he’d come home on weekends (or I’d go there). It’s temporary- if 4 years can be considered temporary.
10. In a few years, we’ll have the isolation we’ve wanted.
I could probably add more but… pffft. I just go in circles anyway. Ultimately it’s his decision to make and I’ll support it, but even he’s on the fence.
He doesn’t want to move but he knows there are opportunities…
I, of course, want both. I want to pick up this house and our sexy kinky friends and move them back to Wisconsin with us.
What? It could happen. Dream big!
~cunt
Tags: M/s rambles
Uncategorized | kaya | 
Friday May 29th, 2009 10:01am
9. We’d be living separate during the week again, he’d come home on weekends (or I’d go there). It’s temporary- if 4 years can be considered temporary.
So this would be true even if the whole family moved back to WI? Or did you mean if only he went?
Given the housing market, would anyone be interested in renting your present house? Buying your present house?
Other than introducing more questions, I got nuthin’. Just looking for something that tips the scales.
Suze
“So this would be true even if the whole family moved back to WI?”
That is true if we move. The kids and I would move back to our house there and he’d get a place in the Big City. It would not happen if he turns down the offer and we stay here.
“Given the housing market, would anyone be interested in renting your present house? Buying your present house?”
We’re not locked into buying this house yet. So that’s not a concern either way. We’ve got almost another year before we have to decide to buy this place or move.
But, we ARE still buying the house we lived in in Wis. We’ve just been renting that one out while we were here.
Does that make sense?
My parents are going through this right now. The pros and cons, trying to decide if it’s worth it. For the umteenth time.
So I don’t really have anything for you except sympathy. And wishing you good luck, because having to make these decisions always seems awful.
You’re always left thinking that you made the wrong choice, no matter what. Bah.
Yup. But the flip side of that is that you’ve made the right decision no matter what, and you will. Sometimes optimism is really good.
Amazing how life can surpirse you with revelations of what once was is now the opposite. In the whole moving thing; don’t forget winter up there! Could it be that you could hang onto that house for a summer cabin? The way the economy is, you could prob. find a big ol’ house back in the land of beer and cheese for relativly cheap, right? But would a desk job be the kind of job He would be happy with, say in 6 months? Would the education for the kids and the structure of the school system be better back in WI? Doesn’t mean that you have to forget the kinky fellows and have dual residences, right? Best of luck with the choices. At least you have a good one to consider.
“Could it be that you could hang onto that house for a summer cabin?”
No. I wish! but.. no. He’s going to have to get an apartment in the city so between an apartment, the house in Wis. and this house here, that’d be 3 houses to pay for. That would defeat any gain of moving, unfortunately.
“you could prob. find a big ol’ house back in the land of beer and cheese for relativly cheap, right?”
That would be my first choice if I have one. I know we already have a house there, but it’s not big and it’s certainly not in the country. But it is ours. So… I dunno.
“But would a desk job be the kind of job He would be happy with, say in 6 months?”
Well. I don’t know. I *think* so. It’s more brain work than physical work, and he LIKES brain work so.. ?
“Would the education for the kids and the structure of the school system be better back in WI?”
Yes and no. There would be hella more options for Jes just because it’s a bigger area and they have more programs set up for teen moms, etc. etc. This area is small and rural and not really optional for these things.
There are terrific opportunities for Am, for sure. The school system is much better suited to her talents, her goals and her personality. This place isn’t bad, but on a comparison basis, the other school system is better.
But for B-man, school aside, the other place has more temptation that he can’t seem to resist. So, I just don’t know if the good outweighs the bad for the kids.
“Doesn’t mean that you have to forget the kinky fellows and have dual residences, right?”
Does not mean I have to forget them, no. They are unforgettable.
I dunno, Kaya, that’s a toughie. While you loved going over and being the cleaning slut, it was pretty hard on you during the week being apart sometimes.
And you know just as well as anyone else that kids are fickle. When you move them back, they’ll miss where you live now. Maybe not as much, but some.
Though this day and age, I’m not sure a pay raise is anything anyone can scoff at.
I know. I’m not any help. :/
Everything else aside, the not being together during the week is what I’m choking on.
*waves back*
See, I’d do the one thing you won’t.
I’d pack us all up and move to the city.
Then again, I only have the one kid to worry about so it’s probably totally different.
And, yanno, I’d be pretty happy if you were close by. Heh.
Well, while I see your position and it suxors, I say he should take it. If nothing else, if the economy continues this way, at least you guys will have that guarantee. -nodnodnod-
I think the same thing. And then I think about packing. And moving. And then I think, nah.. we should just stay here..lol
I’m with Housewench – I think he should take it.
I can hear it now “Master, I asked my readers on the blog and they said… so we should… decision made.” hahaha.
Haven’t been online much – bought a new house and moved on Saturday – the kid has been grounded for 5 weeks and it is FINALLY over today, thank God!
Good luck!
Tracy
Moving! Gah! lol.
Glad you’re back.
I would say long term your options for getting all the stuff you want (more time together, more privacy, providing comfortably for yourselves and the kids, even a secluded lifestyle) sounds like it will be easier to achieve by taking the other job. You can always purchase or rent another house with the seclusion you like with the extra money a more secure job might bring in – and maybe you can find a place back in your old town that suits you a bit better (while still keeping the rental income from your existing property too.)
I’d be careful about the resume and possible job hopping (it’d suck to move again and then have that job dry up – since leaving after only a year or so will probably irritate his current employer and cut off that opportunity which could always happen with the economy the way it is.) In general though, it’s not giving you the straightest path to some of your goals, but it is giving you the most generous one and has some other pluses as well.
It’s the same employer. They have offices and branches scattered around the U.S. He’d not be job hopping, just promoted to a new position within the company. If he takes it, that is.
“You can always purchase or rent another house with the seclusion you like with the extra money a more secure job might bring in – and maybe you can find a place back in your old town that suits you a bit better (while still keeping the rental income from your existing property too.)”
That would be what I would choose to do, if it works out that way. But I’m just not sure if it’s justifiable to rent a house that would be double the payment when we’re buying one in the same town. I mean, it is to ME.. may not be to him though..lol
gah, i hate major life-changing decisions. and moving. but… more money & desk job/safety/security…that would be my choice. Pack up & move back is my vote. He may not get another opportunity like this for a while with the way of our world now. And company cars/trucks rock…I’m just saying!
I don’t understand this part…”Going to the store for groceries is not a major event, requiring that we pack emergency camping gear in the trunk.” Is your previous home in the boonies?
Good luck with your choices, I don’t envy your dilemma!
wendy
He’d lose the company truck if he takes the promotion. He has one now because of the nature of his work, but he’d lose that perk if we move. :/
Our house right now is very much in the boonies. Although we’re only about 3 or 4 miles from the village, there isn’t much in the village.
We’re about 30 miles from the nearest town that has real stores. With the weather the way it is here, making a trip to town in the winter can be a scary experience.
It just takes more planning than what I’m used to. Where we were before, we had our pick of stores to go to within a ten mile radius. Here, because of the distance and gas prices, we try to limit the trips and there are very few stores..
It’s just different.
I’m not sure I understand the housing situation exactly, since I guess I kind of assumed you’d sold the house in WI and mortgaged the one you’re living in. Now I think you’re leasing it?
Anyway…is there a third option with housing, such as selling the house you DO own and buying something different? Something that would let you guys be together during the week? (I’m sorry..I couldn’t sign up for 4+ years of weekends only. I’m far too selfish for that). Could you find some place, even if it was rented, that would let you be together while near all the stuff you want and still in the district?
Money’s important. I hate to say it, but in this day and age, if you’re not self-sustaining, money is important. I can say this because we don’t have any. Personally, I’m in the ‘move back’ camp ONLY if you can manage it to where you’re not the weekend slave. Otherwise…
We didn’t sell the house in Wis. We rented it out only because the move was so rushed (no time to sell) and because he really doesn’t want to sell it yet. Besides, the market is bad I think for trying to sell right now.
We are leasing here, with option to buy. But that’s a limited time offer. He doesn’t build houses to rent them, he builds them to sell. He just gives people some time to decide. So we’ve got another year to either decide to buy- or move out. We’d figured we’d buy it so it was no big deal.
There is not a way to avoid the weekend slave with the job promotion. I absolutely will not even consider having the kids go to a new school again and the city where he’d be working would neccesitate a new school should we move there. It’s just about 2 hours, maybe a little less, from the city to our old town. Not so far that we can’t see each other often but really too far for a daily commute.
I wouldn’t do it then.
What’s making you say 4 years? Is that when B-man is 18? What if he still lives wtih you then? What if Jes and the baby still live with you then? I know a shitload can happen in four years but I also know kids don’t just magically move out at 18.
If the choice is between this school district and the previous one, and there’s no way to not be together during the week…
Money is good. The kids going ‘back’ would probably be good. Being closer to ‘stuff’ would be good.
Losing the company truck, the house you love, the solitude and the rental income would not be good.
Being apart, five days a week? For YEARS? Not possible, in my opinion. I know ultimately it’s his choice but…I couldn’t sign up for that. It’s hard enough for me on the nights Daddy works. I don’t like being in the house alone. I don’t like going to bed alone. I don’t like being all…untethered.
I’m sorry, I’m rambling. Not much help, though, am I? Either way *hugs.*
People first, money/career second. Don’t be apart, time is a precious commodity even when every minute together isn’t filled with kinky-damn-that was-good-let’s-do-it-again-sex. There is an emotional intimacy that cannot be replaced by simply being together. If that emotional intimacy is in jeopardy then everything is in jeopardy…yes I have over simplified it greatly, and yes you are all grown up and functioned apart before…but I vote for stay in one physical place together! just a thought
Pictures or no pictures i would still read, I think your writing voice is amazing, and I’m always interested in what you have to say. Your pros and con’s list is a tuffy! I’m with you on picking up the house and moving it and your kinky friends back home with you lol. If you guy’s thinking that moving will bring in more money maybe moving is a good idea? It’s sucks to uproot your life start over, but maybe it will be for the better. Plus your Pro’s list was a lot longer and quite stellar compared the con’s list.
Remember the cupboard!
You *like* the glass dildos? They look so alien to me! lol! But then I don’t like dildos anyway.
I like reading you because you are interesting and you often remind me of me, so much so it’s a little scary. When you have pics, I skip down to where you wrote something.
I love the subtle D/s stuff too, much more than the “scene” stuff.
And my gut says to jump on this and move. I have no clue why.
Hire movers, though.
Re; your glasses masturbatory fantasy. HAAHAHAHA! You know my fav masturbatory fantasy? Dan makes me blow him while he goes online to sell my car on Craig’s list because he doesn’t want me to have the freedom to drive anymore and besides, he wants a new TV with the money from my car.
Maybe it’s not as subtle as picking out glasses but it’s hardly over-the-top uber-wildness, either.
I love my car and I love driving it.
Why it turns me on that he sells my car to get himself a new TV, dunno, except…hawt lol
Sigh, I’m sorry to say I have to stay out of this one. I am biased in my choice.
I don’t care how good the paycheck is, I would never accept it if it meant being restricted to seeing my husband on weekends only. And this is coming from someone who is flat broke! You sound sad enough as it is when he is away on work; how are you going to handle that arrangement for years? Especially with there being a new baby to take care of on top of everything else?
Do you really NEED the money? Of course everyone could use more money, but it’s not like you’re about to get kicked out on to the street from drowning in too much debt. You’ve got a nice house, your husband has a stable job that he likes, and you’re not broke–why fuck with that? It doesn’t seem worth sacrificing so much time with your husband when you sound pretty comfortable with where you are now.
P.S. I’m here for the writing only and don’t care if there are accompanying pictures or not.
P.P.S. Thanks for the update on Sascrotch!
well since people are giving their two cents, i guess i will jump on the bandwagon, lol. i say stay where you are. i am not married or anything but i cannot imagine how hard it would be to be away from someone i loved so much, during the week. i just think that would suck really bad. i guess i am also partial to where you are at now too, and like you said the house and yard…WOW, nice! i wish your Master luck in deciding and i know either way, you and he will make it work. *hugs*
I’m sorry – I know this post is all about your moving, but I can’t help but give an appreciative nod (I’m an immature 40 yr old) to your reference to Steve Martin and “The Jerk”.
Re: Moving – you’ll all make the choice that is right for all of you…everything works out for the best. Truly
I think you should sell your spare toys, rather the non-insertables, to your loyal readers. *nod*
My thought is that you should stay where you are. I totally agree with someone that pointed out that people are more important than money. Relationships are more important than money, too!
Maybe you should both go back and read your blog from when you lived apart before…how did you feel then? Did you function well apart? Did you like being apart? Do you have fond memories of that time? Could you do that again for 4+ years?
I’m sure that you guys will be fine no matter what you decide, but I figured I would jump on the “stay where you are” bandwagon!!!
I don’t envy you your decision! I couldn’t stand the separation, even for the payoff.
Do you know that folks here in CA routinely make two hour one way commutes daily? It’s not ideal, but it’s doable. What about a compromise? He comes home one or two days during the week?
I’m not sure how anyone could turn up money with an economy like this… but i also value human relationships above and beyond money. Although you guys have been seperate before, there were some ups and downs (the element of space can help or hinder a relationship but…)
The decision comes down to what’s important to you both.
Money or time.
“People first, money/career second”
OR
Money or relationships
“Getting a head start on that nest egg while I can- it’s only temporary”
That’s tough.
There’s some good arguments on this post.
I’d read you even if you wrote about your church service 16 years ago when you were 10 years old. lol
xoxx
If he passes on this promotion what does that do for his chance at future advances? Some companies view failure to accept a move as “disloyalty”, “not a company man/woman”, etc. Hopefully, he works for a company where that isn’t the culture (says the man who ended up working for a person he trained, back in his multi-national days, due to a somewhat similar situation.).
I mostly just lurk here but I have to say, this is a situation that I do NOT envy. I hate making these big decisions. I do, however, envy the fact that it’s not really your decision.
Whatever ends up happening, I wish you both the best of luck!
Take the promotion and move back. It will be better for all the kids, and it will be good for Jess to be better supported by the programs there. Not to mention, you don’t want to be sitting in crazy winter blizzard season with an infant who’s sick. They always get sick at some point, and you don’t want to be making that late night drive in the middle of a storm for 30 miles.
You’ve already said that the relationship is stronger when you have that away time. You also talked about how the old house provided more privacy for your activities. Of course, there will be no naked gardening in the old place, but that also means you’ll be able to locate and put away your outdoor Christmas decorations without waiting for spring.
I bet it will be easier for you to be a grandma during the week, too, without feeling like your loyalties are torn. Once that baby comes, the game really changes. Wouldn’t it be nice to be someplace more familiar and reliable?
*raises hand*
As someone whose husband was laid off out of the blue recently (10 years tenure at the company, top-management IT position), as close as we are and as much as I used to complain when he’d have to work late and I missed him while he was at work and how in love as we are in and how much fun it is to have a D/s relationship and so fulfilling and blah blah blah, now that he’s working from home and I also work from home and we’re together all day, every day…
Dear GOD, doesn’t the man have someplace else to GO?
There really IS such a thing as “too much togetherness”.
How can I miss him if he won’t go away?
(Just my two cents)
Two things come to mind….
The Cunt Cupboard
Living near the pretty pink haired girl with the glass scepter.
Maybe I’ll move to WI ..oops thats 3
Con #9
In the end there are a lot of things that you can get back in this life. You can lose your job, lose everything, become poor and destitute, then get a job, save money, and buy all your material things again.
But time is not renewable. You will lose 4 years with Sir. And also nothing is certain in life. You could struggle 4 years and be hit by a bus the next day or he could.