Posts tagged: whines

You can’t always get what you want….

So. No spanking. Yet anyway.

And don’t you know when it can happen, I won’t want it anymore.

Story of my life.

Can I just whine for a bit? (which would be different from any other day how, right?) (shut up, ya big meanie-head)

Master is working stupid insane hours right now. He’s up and gone by 6am and not getting home until 6pm (Or later. Saturday night, he came home, was home less than an hour and was called right back out. He got home at like 11pm). Yesterday, he was home for less than an hour and went to bed. No days off.

I told him I’m starting to feel like a widow. Boo-hoo.

I’m trying to remain pleasant and undemanding. I offer myself and my “services” (wink wink nudge nudge) but he’s just too tired. He’s work-eat-sleep, work-eat-sleep, etc. etc.

Though last night, he did wake up long enough to get a sweet little massage when I got in to bed (and two tylenol and then right back to sleep).

I know it’s temporary-ish. These hours aren’t permanent, but they sure suck donkey balls in the meantime.

I just feel so useless I guess. There is only so much house to clean, and even that loses it’s appeal when he’s not around to notice, or not notice for that matter. He’s eating without tasting; last night, not 2 hours after dinner, he asked me if he ate and what it was. He’s practically on autopilot.

It’s not that I require excess amounts of praise and attention, it’s more that I require *him* to function above autopilot myself.

I’m restless without actually wanting to do anything. The more I stay at home, the more I want to stay at home. Even going to the grocery store (which I desperately need to do) seems like a majorly complicated outing. I seriously get sweaty-nervous because I know I’ll have to go alone. Which is all kinds of pathetic, isn’t it?

Don’t answer that. I already know.

I adapt way too easily to being a hermit. Isolation soothes me. I’m anxious to get outside and work. We moved here fairly late in the outdoor weather season and were too busy with the house to worry about the yard, but there is a LOT of outside clean-up that needs to be done.

We’re going to have to bring in topsoil for a garden and frame it out and fence it in to keep animals out. I still have to research the growing season and what can grow up here. I have a feeling the season is going to be too short for a lot of what I wanted to plant.

We’re also gonna build a chicken coop and raise our own chickens. We’re kicking around the idea of selling eggs, but I don’t know. I’m afraid to get all the chickens, and thus have all the eggs, only to not have anyone who wants to buy them. We’re not exactly in a high traffic area or anything. So we’ll see. Plus, I’m still fretting over thinking that having a chicken coop will attract wild animals too close to the house. (From the DNR website: Approximately 15,000 – 19,000 black bears (including cubs) roam the hardwood and conifer forests of northern Michigan. About 90 percent of the bear live in the Upper Peninsula.) Encouraging, yeah?

I would like to get other animals but Master is a little leary of it. He’s not convinced that it’s cost effective to raise a pig or a cow for slaughter. By the time you factor in feed, building a shelter, slaughter house fees, etc., he thinks it’d be cheaper to just buy the meat. He’s probably right, I just wanna have the animals. Course then I’d fall in love with them and not be able to stomach the idea of slaughter anyway.

So, anywho, standing at the window watching the wind blow and the snow fly when I want to do all that other stuff is frustrating enough. To be alone all day with no interaction from my Man only makes it worse.

I just miss him, is all.

Well, now that I’ve sufficiently whined my way to tears, I’m gonna leave..lol I really really need to hit the grocery store or we aren’t gonna eat today. Or ever.

~cunt

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Mr. CrankyPants

Master is some kind of cranky today, and, for a change, it’s not ME he’s cranky with.

It’s nobody that I can figure. Male version of pms, I think. (and isn’t it the strangest coincidence that man-pms comes directly after girl-pms has finished?? Weird, idn’t it? ;-) )

So anyway, I’m trying to just stay outta the way and keep my head down (dk will get that one).

It’s hard though because I feed off of his moods and it’s difficult to remain my usual happy-go-lucky self (shut up! I am too happy! GRRR!) and not become just as cranky as he is.

How do you all handle cranky-ass dominants? I mean, the vanilla wifey part of me is sitting here thinking “what the FUCK is your problem?? Jeeeeezus, man.” Were I on an equal level I might advise him to go take a nappy-poo.

(by the time he reads this he won’t be cranky anymore and he will just laugh and laugh and laugh at ‘nappy-poo’. I hope. Are you laughing Master? Hahaha?

I love you. *sweet smile*)

This would be a good day to have a job to go to.

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It was so dreamy!

Last night we flew to Paris. No reason, just because I’m loved sooooooo much! We stayed at the most beautiful hotel with a view of the Eiffel Tower. My golly gee but the scenery was amazing! I’m such a lucky girl!

 Then I slept in a pearl-covered, diamond-studded cage fit for a Princess. A slave princess but a princess none-the-less. And we had hot, steamy sex in a gigantic hot tub! Oh it was just magical!

After sex and after a lovely scene that sent me into subspace from the first stroke and lasted for hours and hours and hours (and hours!) He took the clamps off and (magically!) all of my appendages were only pleasantly sore instead of being black and dead from hours of lack of circulation and tonight we’re doing it all over again! Because our bank account is bottomless! And my body bounces back amazingly fast! I’m so blessed!!

 Well not really.

 Actually, last night we went to Wal-mart to get groceries. And dickered over the price of toilet paper and garbage bags.

Then, after we got home, I got mad because He yelled at me so I tried to get back at Him by not properly asking Him to use the bathroom so now I’m in trouble and I have a punishment coming.

I wasn’t quite brave enough to skip asking altogether, but digging deep into my arsenal of weapons of retaliation for making me mad, I pulled out the big guns and left off the “please Sir” before I shut the door and peed.

Paris sounds a whole hell of a lot better, doesn’t it?? I’ve really got to stop reading the fluffy bunny journals because Wal-mart and temper tantrums simply pale in comparison.

*dramatic sigh*

 Well I guess these sentences aren’t writing themselves, are they? :(

~cunt

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