Brand Spanking New!

I would like a spanking.

Yes, that’s right. A spanking. An old-fashioned, corporal punishment type spanking.

No fucking. No whips or chains or clamps or degrading words.

Just.. a spanking.

One of those that starts out kinda slow and builds up to a hard, heavy whalloping that leaves your butt all burny-itchy and mottled.

Maybe even one that leaves your eyelashes a little damp and your chin a little quivery.

The kind that makes you wanna curl around his legs when it’s over while he pets your hair and you can just…. be.

Hmm.

My butt hasn’t been this twitchy in a long time.

Yeah. I want a spanking.

:-(

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He who dies with the most toys wins!

Because I had to order more Boy Butter, I found a bunch of new things to add to my ever-growing wishlist.

The only attachment I have for my Hitachi is the curved one, Gonzo’s nose I call it. But these look WAY more fun.

The Tri-Pod Magic Wand Attachment and The G-Pod Magic Wand.

Being such a fan of fisting, I think I could wear Master’s arm out. Fortunately, the folks at Extreme Restraints have thought of that! Not only can I dildo my way through a fisting, I can also double the pain. I don’t know about you but that double fister looks like a challenge I want to conquer!

Not to forget the backdoor, there is this: The Mega Butt Plug. (Ain’t nothing like that stuffed full feeling, is there? ;-) )

And because I always find some things that makes me wish I had a penis to torture, the cock straight jacket. (Is it painful to have a restrained erection or just frustrating? If it’s not painful, bah, why bother? :P )

This one is just pretty. Straight out of The Terminator movie. I bet he had one like this. Chrome-plated chastity tube.

This one. The Spex. Oh my, is that ever a pretty picture. Oh. My. My my my.

I hear these are pretty painful. English Tawse. Anyone have one? Do I *really* want one or are my butt cheeks just being greedy?

Does this stuff work? Anal Ease Spray. Cuz if it does, I want some. I used to be such an ass-whore, up until I met Master and his stupid big dick..lol.

Now here’s something I DON’T want! Female Chastity Device. No thank you! I like letting my fingers do the walking. Speaking of which, between window shopping and Device Bondage watching.. um.. I will brb! ;)

Oh! Before I go – Sunday was my 3 year blogoversary and I missed it. So Happy Blogoversary to me! Bye!

~cunt

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We interrupt your program to bring you this very special commercial message

Extreme Restraints is having an Easter Sale!

You get 10% off select items. w00t! So I’m picking out my favorite Easter-inspired items.

First, of course it would be this: Bunny Tail Butt Plug. Seriously, how CUTE is that?! And I don’t even like butt plugs!

Then, a masturbaholic such as myself can never have too many silver bullets. Good price for it, too.

This next one is just so cool to look at that it HAS to feel good, right? How could it not! It’s the White Nights Vibrator. Don’t we all need a white night to come rescue us from the hornies?!?

Okay, here’s one for the ’Never Seen THAT Before’ record book. Ejaculating Rabbit Vibrator. So.. um… *what* is it ejaculating exactly???? I gotta say, I’m as much of a sperm-ho as the next sperm-ho, but it’s the *actual* sperm that I want, you know? Nothing else will work as a stand-in! (unless it was chocolate, in which case… maybe!) I guess it’s supposed to give you the sensation of being ejaculated in, but, geez, can you really FEEL that? I feel the twitching of his cock, but I don’t think I feel the sperm “splashing the hot walls of my convulsing cunt”. I just always figured that was porn-talk. *shrug* What do I know?

Here’s one that’s a lot of fun to wear out and about. Remote Control Vibrating Egg. Yeah, Imma get me one of those. Master will have a good time with it. (me too! :D )

Internet Enabled Rabbit Vibrator – now this one I just thought was pretty inventive. How many of you in long distance, online relationships wouldn’t like to have one of these!? I’d have liked one when Master was traveling all the time. Love the idea of it a bunch.

Okay, just one more and the commercial will be over and I’ll return you to your regularly scheduled blog.

This one made me laugh. The Talking Head MP3 Rabbit Vibrator! It TALKS dirty to you! While you vibe! How fucking insane is that?! It makes me wonder how easy orgasm control training could be with this thing. Simply record your orgasm command words into the mp3 player and practice. Repeatedly. All day long!

I love sex toy technology!!

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Want.

Anybody want to buy me this? If I beg?

So I can do this:

This may be better than an asshook.

From Lust & Liebe

Seen first at the delectable Atlanta Bondage. Them’s some hot folk over there.

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