Drowning in Stress

Gah. Things here are so freaking stressful (hence the title ) and I don’t really see an end in sight just yet.

Family Flu ’07 has made it’s rounds. B-man is currently on the couch at the tail end of his battle with it. B-man got the worst of it with a temp of 103. Master, hyped up on Airborne, and I, with my awesome immune system, made it through relatively unscathed. Nothing more than a few sniffles and a day or so of general bluck. So, excitement, I know. It’s thrilling.

I’m not so much feeling Christmas-y this year. I don’t know why. I’ve been Scrooged I guess. I’m pretty well done shopping for Am since she’s the only one who had a precise list. B-man wants an xbox360 which, sad to say, is more than what I spend on Christmas presents and Jes only wants money (so she can save up to buy a car) which isn’t what I really want to do for Christmas. What is she going to do, watch the rest of us open presents while she holds on to some cash? That’s no fun.

Speaking of Jes, she’s moving home. In two weeks. Which is wonderful and I’m incredibly happy to have her home, but she’s also coming with a boatload of stress and problems. And I’m well aware of the issues that will arise in the rest of the house after she’s here. I love her to death but I’m not going to pretend that her being home doesn’t send things into an uproar. I’m hoping that since her and I have come so far in repairing our relationship,  things will be better than they have been in the past. We’re all a little older, a little wiser… but keep your fingers crossed for us, please?

Master’s started a new position which comes with the benefit of longer hours and more stress (and more money, tee hee). He’s pretty excited about it. My own employment status is pending still. I’m torn between putting the recertifying process on hold and accepting a position at a lower pay/lower responsibility for right now, or putting off working and getting recertified, which would take a few months and lots o’ money but allow me a higher paying position in the end. I would have done both at once, taken the job and gone to school, but with Master working longer hours and things with the kids and Jes and her baggage hitting right now, it can’t happen that way. One of us needs to be home more often than not so there is no practical way to do work and school at this time.

So! I just don’t know. Smut is at an all-time low. My head is so far away from kink right now it’s pathetic. All the times I panicked “Master was going vanilla!!!!11!1!” only to end up with me being the one who did. I just don’t know. It’s just a phase, right? Has to be.

Though, truly, we’re just really, really happy. I don’t miss it, yet anyway. It does make keeping the blog up fairly difficult. I’m not certain of the future of the blog anymore. I don’t want to be one of those people who talks about quitting all the time, but I’ll be honest and say the thought is there. I see things here becoming more and more time-consuming, leaving even less time for kink or writing about kink… and if I’m not using this place as I should, paying that monthly fee to keep it open is going to start to grate on the Boss’s nerves. It’s not a huge fee, but wasted money is wasted money.

Anyway… we’ll just see. And to those of you from LJ, yesterday I did a mass unfriending on LJ. From 500+ friends down to 50-something. Most of them didn’t update, nor could I keep up with that many anyway. And also because a few people who I did read unfriended me so I had a “fuck it” moment and started clicking. However, I know I clicked some that I didn’t mean to. I’m sorry about that.

~cunt