Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to my kitchen of course! Hee!

I would swear I’d posted this recipe before but I don’t think my search button is working and I’m a terrible tagger so I can’t find it.

By request: Chicken Enchiladas

8 6-inch tortillas
1/2 cup chopped onion
4 cloves garlic, minced
1 tsp. ground coriander
1/4 tsp. pepper
2Tbsp butter
3 tbsp all-purpose flour
1 8oz carton sour cream
2 cups chicken broth
1 or 2 canned jalapeno chili peppers or 1 4oz can green chilis, drained.
1 cup shredded Monterey Jack cheese
2 cups chopped cooked chicken
Optional: sliced black olives, tomatoes, chopped onions

In a saucepan, cook onion, garlic, coriander and pepper in butter until onions are tender. Stir flour into sour cream, add to onion mixture. Stir in broth and chili peppers. Cook and stir until sauce mixture is thickened and bubbly. remove from heat, stir in 1/2 cup of the cheese.

Stir 1/2 cup of the sauce into chopped chicken.

Place about 1/4 of chicken mixture into each tortilla. Roll up and arrange them, seam side down, in a lightly greased baking dish (cake pan). Top with remaining sauce.

Bake, covered, in a 350F oven for about 35 minutes or until heated through. Sprinkle with remaining cheese, bake, uncovered for another 5 minutes or until cheese melts.

If desired, sprinkle with tomatoes, olives, onions. Let stand 10 minutes. Makes 4 servings.

I serve mine on a plate with shredded lettuce, diced tomatoes and onions, sliced black olives, sour cream and refried beans on the side. Maybe some spanish rice, too. Makes a very filling meal.

(I apologize for the lack of posts and replies to comments. I’m verrah verrah busy. It’s entirely Master’s fault. )

Fast, cheap and easy.

No, not me!

Well. Okay. I AM all of those things but for the purposes of THIS post– not me.

I’m talking about food. I’m talking about hot, filling comfort food. I’m talking about reaching a man through his belly.

And, I’m talking about a lazy slave who found a delicious shortcut and I aim to pass it on to you.

Maybe, on a cold and blustery Monday morning you look outside and see something like this:

Maybe you just want to sit on the couch, yank the pillow over your head and pretend you live in Hawaii.

Maybe you don’t WANT to have to go butcher the cow, shell the beans, knead the dough, churn the butter and puree the tomatoes.

Maybe you’re thinking PB&J for dinner sounds wonderful and then your Man calls and he’s working outside and he’s tired and cold and hungry and he says “What hot meal are you making for me tonight, slave?” and you have this rush of guilt and figure perhaps it’s time to take the pillow off your head.

But you’re no more motivated to butcher cows and shell beans.

So what do you do??

You cheat, that’s what. You cheat and you enjoy the fuck out of it because, as the title said, it’s fast, it’s cheap and *bonus!*, it’s easy.

It’s magic.

Chili magic, that is.

First, slave over that can opener opening all of them cans. It’s turrible hard work I tell you.

Dump the can contents into a pan. Preferably you’d empty them into your slow cooker so it has several hours to blend the flavors together, unless you’re like me and really took the whole couch/pillow/Hawaii fantasy to late afternoon. Oops.

So, dump the magic and the ‘maters together so they’ve got some time to blend and cook together. In the meantime, dice up your onion if you like them and toss that in with your ground beef.

If you like that raw onion taste, you could dump the onions in with your canned stuff, but I loathe raw onions so I cook them down.

Then drain it and dump that into your canned mess of magical goodness.

Stir it in and let it simmer for a bit. You really need to let the burger chunks soak up some chili-tomatoey sauce, let the tomato chunks soften, let the onions blend in- just let it simmer.

Add spices if you want. Master and I aren’t spicey kind of folks (except in the bedroom! Ha!) so I don’t add much more than salt and pepper, maybe a dash of chili powder.

If it were already in your slow cooker and you hadn’t spent the day having sex on the beach with Anakoni and his well-placed lei… *ahem*

Nevermind.

Next, (after you’ve washed your hands because Anakoni made you do filthy, filthy things to yourself), gather up some toppings. Sour cream, shredded cheese, Fritos(!), oyster crackers- whatever floats your little chili boat- and ladle it all up.

Then, slice up that $0.99 loaf of french bread that you got on the bakery clearance rack and slather it with butter.

Serve that hard-working man.

Do NOT, I repeat, do NOT call him Anakoni. Impressed as he may be with your chili magic, he won’t like it. Trust me.

All in all, for a couch potato, blustery fall day- fast, cheap and easy works out well. And, nobody has to know! Toss out those magic cans and everyone thinks you’re a chili goddess! I have no freakin’ clue how to make chili from scratch but Master takes this to work and, by God, they worship my mad kitchen skillz.

Cheating. It’s what’s for dinner.

~cunt

Total cost for me (chili only, not including toppings) was well under $15.00, for enough chili to feed 5, plus Master’s lunch the next day, plus enough leftovers to toss in the freezer for chili-topped baked potatoes one day next week.

Midol Cures Subdrop! News story at 11!

‘Tis true. *nods*

Or, at least Midol cures those I’m-going-to-start-bleeding-any-second-now blahs that highly mimic subdrop.

I knew I didn’t usually drop THAT hard. Apparently, the combination of mild subdrop and pms equals some fantastically wicked blues. Way cool, yeah?

Of course, had I any inkling of impending period-ness, I’d have waited to wash those fucking sheets, if you know what I mean. Oy. Story of my life, I tell ya.

Anyway, a couple of recipes that I need to share before I forget (again). We had a dinner/play party over the weekend and one couple brought a jello salad that was uber nom, plus, my buns got good reviews and I’ve been instructed to post it so they can have it.

My bread buns, not my ass buns. Pervs.

Mandarin Orange Jello Salad (People love this—good for a potluck!)

Ingredients
1 small box orange jello
1 small box lemon jello
2 cups hot water
1 can lemon pie filling
1 cup juice from mandarin oranges
2 cups drained mandarin oranges

Directions
Pour boiling water into a bowl. Add both jellos and stir until dissolved. Stir in pie filling (using a wire whisk to blend and smooth). Add juice and drained oranges. Let set in refrigerator.

Bread Machine Dinner Rolls
1 cup very warm water
3 heaping Tbsp sugare
3 Tbsp oil
1 1/2 tsp. salt
3 cups bread flour (tap cup to settle flour while measuring and then level off)
2 1/4 tsp. yeast (or 1 packet)

Directions
Add ingredients to bread machine and set on dough cycle. When finished, remove dough from pan to a lightly floured surface. Do not knead. Gently shape into a rectangle and use a knife to cut into 12 semi-equal pieces.

I grab each piece and pinch it in my fist, just to get it into a ball shape with a relatively smooth top. Place in a greased 9×13 pan, cover with a towel, place in a warm spot to rise for 45-50 minutes. (I make a warm spot in the oven by setting the oven to 200 for just 2 minutes, turning it off and placing the pan inside.)

Take the pan out, pre-heat oven to 425F. Gently brush top of rolls with some melted butter. Bake for 12 minutes or until rolls are a light golden brown. Brush with melted butter again after baking, if desired.

I make these to use for buns for deli sandwiches. But they’re great with just some butter for plain old dinner rolls, too, and go really well with soups and stews. I’m not sure how they’d fair for use as hamburger buns as they might be too sweet, but I’ll probably try it and find out. They’re pretty darn yummy anyway, I must say.

Lots of chores and errands to make up today considering that I spent the last two days mourning the end of our kink-fest. *sniffle*

We didn’t take just a whole lot of pictures this time. Too busy doing it to worry about the camera (though I do have some clips I need to put up, mainly that face fucking clip that those other pictures came from. Srsly, that was the best face fucking session we’ve had yet, imo. It was teh awesome and the movie is great.), although Master is adding pictures to his Fetlife profile that I would happily remove. Bastard.

But I’ll share this real quick:

On Saturday night, Master got some instructions on rope work from Alderon, a dude from our local munch. It was the first time we’d really spend any time with him and his girl (and for real, does it ever get easier to go from “Hello, nice to meet you.” to “Strip, cunt”? I mean, honestly!) and I just have to say, again, that the kink group up here is phenomenal.

Anywho, he tied me up. And it was good.

Hopefully, this will inspire Master to do more bondage. I heart bondage. Master’s use for bondage seems to begin and end at “functional”. A quick wrap here and there to keep me accessible, loop it around a bedpost or a hook and off he goes.

Though, really, I guess that’s the point.

It was pretty though. And I got goosebumps cuz rope is yummy. (Plus I was naked and cold, but it was from the rope!)

So, that’s all I got today.

~cunt

Fast, cheap, and easy!

No, I’m not talking me – though I could easily wear those labels after Master zipped home just 2 hours after He left this morning, bent me over the end of the bed – pinning me there by my nipples – and fucked me silly. But this time I’m talking about fast, cheap, and easy food.

I don’t know if the rest of you are suffering from sticker shock at the grocery store but I sure am. (The increase in prices seemed to coincide with the move so I’m half blaming the economy in general and half blaming the U.P. itself for being expensive.) Anyway, I’m going to share the occasional recipe here, because it’s my blog and I can, and because I know lots of people working hard to cut costs.

Here’s my cheap and easy meal for today:

Au Gratin or Scalloped Potatoes with Smoked Sausage

I’ve never made au gratin or scalloped potatoes from scratch, mainly because the boxed mix is so darn easy, but possibly savings would increase if made from scratch? (not sure, what with the price of cheese!)

3 boxes, or less, of au gratin potato mix. (3 boxes feeds my family of 5 with enough leftover for Master’s lunch the next day)
One smoked ring sausage, sliced.

You can bake it in the oven per the boxes directions, or, if time allows, I prefer to make it in the crockpot. It comes out moister and the flavor is *much* better. Simply mix it according the directions on the package for the oven method, but throw it all in the crockpot. Stir in the sausage. Cook on low for a few hours or until potatoes are tender.

Price:
Box of generic au gratin potato mix $0.97 x 3 = $2.91
One ring sausage $3.38
Add in a can/bag of veggies for another $1.00

A meal for five people, plus next day lunch, for $7.29.

~cunt

Bragger’s note: Anyone whose mother ruled the kitchen at home will understand my glee over this. My mother has asked me for a copy of the recipe for every single dish I cooked while my parents were here. Do you know how huge that is!? It’s damn near unheard of! Squee!

Almost as good as sex?

Well I’m all better. B-man’s flu is lingering. Master came down with it yesterday.

Poor Am. She’s doomed.

Thank you for all the well-wishes. It’s very nice to read them.

I wish I had something of excitement to report but a sick Master does not make for much perversion to share. Maybe if he gets to feeling better we can get up to something wicked, but I’m not holding my breath. (though I probably should lest I’m reinfected with this shit!)

So since I have nothing else to share, I’ll share some kitchen successes!

I found some recipes that have been huge hits with the family. I get excited when something pleases everybody all at the same time. That’s a rarity, yanno.

One is a meatloaf recipe that’s made in the crock pot. I’ve been doing that one on Tuesday’s because I work in the afternoon on Tuesday and it’s nice to come home to a meal that’s mostly finished. Master loves this one so much that he had me make it for his friend when he was over visiting. (it just does a cook’s heart good to see two grown men eating so fast they can’t even talk. All you hear is *nom* *nom* *nom* *nom*) I serve that with a mega-fattening mashed potato recipe.

Another recipe is for potato soup, also made in a crock pot. It is so easy, and omg-yummy. I serve it with deli-sliced turkey and provolone sub-type sandwiches and the taste combination is heavenly.

And of course the tomato soup recipe from Pioneer Woman is a family hit as well. Though I do leave out the sherry and I have to strain out the onions and tomato chunks for the picky boy child.

Another one is called twice-baked potato casserole that I served with oven-fried chicken strips. The casserole is to-die-for. Srsly.

I made ’easy sweet-n-sour meatballs’ last night that left me with zero leftovers. Tonight I’m trying a new cheesy chicken enchilada recipe. And maybe the Caramel Apple Cobbler Cake that Mandy turned me on to. At least that one is low-fat.

It’s no mystery why I’m overweight..lol The only thing I’m accomplishing at Curves is being a healthier fat. But I’m really enjoying myself in the kitchen and Master likes me round. (or so I keep telling him!)

I’ll put the recipes behind the cut so you can try them and let me know what you think. And if you have a favorite or a new hit, post it, please? I need new stuff. I’m so bloody anxious for garden season, but Christ, we’re still getting snow here. Boo.

p.s. I did try to get broken nipple pics but the flash just whites out the bruising. It’s mostly healed now anyway, just a dark spot left on the top and bottom.

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