Titles are so last year!

Master is working this weekend (boo) so I have nothing but time on my hands. I’m gonna fill up on some memes, some pointless babbling, and then, later, (today or tomorrow) I’m gonna shoot y’all some porn (and it’s not me! Another boo!).

I think we need to make some porn though. After watching some of what I’m going to show you later, I’m feeling quite neglected and horny and very much like stomping my feet and demanding that he “play with meee! Wah!” Not that that works or anything but that’s how I feel. I ain’t gonna lie.

Yesterday, I had a big resurgence of masochism. It’s been pretty low-key, as I’ve shared here, almost to the point of Do-Not-Wantism rather than masochism. But yesterday it all kind of bubbled up to the surface and now it’s just slowly simmering. I haven’t had this itchy, twitchy feeling in my panties in a looooong time. It feels kinda weird actually.

What was the big event that sparked the masochism tango in my spankies? Hee. I’ll tell ya!

I was making dinner. Roasted red pepper, asparagus and mozzarella cheese stuffed chicken breast with fettucini alfredo on the side. Wanna see?? It was uber-yummy!

First, you pound out some chicken breasts. I sprinkled them with an Italian seasoning/parmesan cheese/chives mixture on both sides. Then add in a couple of asparagus spears, a pepper slice and some mozz. cheese. Roll up, stab with some toothpicks to hold it together, drizzle with olive oil and bake at 350F for, oh, 20-30 minutes or until done.

Here’s the precooked look.

Here’s the finished look.

It was so nummy. But I digress. Enough of the noms.

So I was standing at the counter, pounding out the chicken breasts, right? And, you know, I was all alone and, admittedly, I’m getting a little stir crazy, a little cabin fever taking root as winter never ends up here in No Man’s Land, and I talk to myself. In LOLCat language. I guess maybe I figure my cats can understand me if I speak in their native tongue. That way I’m not really talking to myself. I’m talking to *them*.

They do look at me like I’m insane so they could be listening!

Hush.

Anyway, the cats are terrified, either because I’m talking to them or because I’m rattling the windows with my earnest meat flattening, hard to say really, and it amused me that they were all poofed up and hunkered down and wild eyed, stalking around the house trying to flush out the enemy. So I started brandishing the meat tenderizer at them and going, “Ahh! I are teh skeery meat lady!” *Slam!* “I will beat you with my skeery hammeh!” *Wham!*

I’m beating the bloody hell out of the chicken breasts. “I are teh Chicken Boob Sadist! I will mangle your titties! Grrrs!” *BamBamBam!*

And then I held up my little wooden meat tenderizer and I thought, now why in the HELL is this neat-o toy NOT IN THE TOYBOX!?!?!

Just like that, I bubbled. Yep. Bubbled over with masochistic need.

This?

Will be in the toybox. And I will have my breasts tenderized. Probably not quite as mangled as I did that poor chicken, but close. I hope.

I has needs!

Dinner was good though. Really. ;-)

~~*~~

Speaking of the cats, Loverboy (orange kitty) has been acting up the last few days. He wanders around the house yowling (and he’s fixed so no chance of being randy), and we call him over and he comes and lets us pet him for a second and then he resumes his prowling and yowling.

He tore the shit out of Am’s lunchbag. Like, shredded it. He dumped over the water dish. He paces up and down the stairs, to the bird channel window, to the door, to the bedroom, to the food dish but doesn’t eat, to the bathroom, in and out of the cupboards, back to the stairs…

I think he’s looking for Sutter. :-(

~~*~~

I was tagged! By TakenByLovely.

List five songs you’re REALLY into right now and then tag 5 more people:

1. Single Ladies- Beyonce. (It’s not the song so much, other than that it gets stuck in my head, but the video! All that ass-shaking and air humping, my eyes become glued to the screen.)

2. I’m Yours- Jason Mraz (for the same reason that I like that Hawaiin dude’s version of Over the Rainbow.)

3. I’ve Been Loving You Too Long- Otis Redding (this is a crap video but I can’t find a good one. Love this song though. One of my all-time favorites ever.)

4. Pretty Pink Rose- Ashton Allen (I don’t think this song is very popular. I had to upload it myself to get in on youtube, and though it says it’s like 7 minutes long, the song is the usual length of 3 and a half minutes or so. The rest of the time is dead air. I dunno why nor do I care enough to fix it. I really can’t say why this song appeals to me. Just.. the melody, the smoothness of his voice. I dunno. It just do!)

5. Oh, Darlin’- Robin Gibb. (Again, not the best video. Just, yanno, don’t look at him. Just listen.)

I tag everyone. 5 times.

~~*~~

The Controversial Survey

Would you do meth if it was legalized?
I would not.

Abortion: for or against?
Against.

Would our country fall with a woman president?
Yep.

Do you believe in the death penalty?
Yes. But I think the cases it’s used in should be absolute.

Do you wish marijuana would be legalized already?
No.

Do you believe in God?
No.

Do you think same sex marriage should be legalized?
Yes already. Preferable before my daughter is in love and of legal age to marry.

Do you think its wrong that so many Hispanics are moving to the USA?
No, not wrong. I wish they’d do it legally though.

A 12 year old girl has a baby..should she keep it?
I guess that depends on her parents, as they’ll be the ones raising it and paying for it. But, yes, if she wants it, she should keep it.

Should the alcohol age be lowered to 18?
Well, I think that either the legal adult age needs to be raised to 21 or the drinking age lowered to 18. Preferable, raise the adult age. But the spread between the two makes little sense to me.

Should the war in Iraq be called off?
Before it even started actually.

Assisted suicide is illegal..do you agree?
No.

Do you believe in spanking children?
I do, but with lots of qualifiers. The childs age, how it’s done, what it’s done with- that sort of thing. I don’t necessarily think that physical punishment is the answer for every mistake, but when you need to make a point pretty quickly, a swat on the ass can sometimes shock them into listening better.

Would you burn an American flag for a million dollars?
I probably would do just about anything for a million dollars, though if I did this one, I’d have to be prepared to be disowned by both Master and my dad. Soooo… No. I wouldn’t.

A mother is declared innocent after murdering her 5 children in a temporary insanity case, Do you agree?
I agree with the defense of temporary insanity in some cases, however, I don’t agree with that equalling getting off punishment free. If not life in prison, then life in a mental institution. Whatever.

Are you afraid others will judge you from reading some of your answers?
I am not afraid of it, no.

~~*~~

Amusing (to me) story:

Master, and the rest of us but Master started it, likes to snack on peanuts. So we buy them in these big ginormous bags from Menards. But we’re dorks, right, so we don’t call them peanuts. We call them penis.

As in: Hey, anyone want some penis?

And: Who took the bowl of penis??!

And: Am, they’re gonna kick you out of the Lesbian Club if you keep sucking on penis.

In the store: I found the penis! Penis over here! Penis in aisle 3!

And: I could really sink my teeth into some penis right about now. *nom nom nom*

Hee. Anyway, it’s become stupidly normal to call peanuts penis, we all do it without even thinking about. So last weekend, Am had a friend over and they were sitting at the table working on a homework project. I walked into the living room and the coffee table was a damn mess. Peanut parts scattered all over!

So I holler through the house, “Who in the hell left penis tracks all over the damn coffee table!?”

Am answers back, “The cats were playing in the penis and tracked it all over, Mom.”

And this poor girl (snicker) gets this terrified expression on her face, her mouth drops open, and she’s looking back and forth from me to Am to me to Am and she whispers to Am, “Did your mom just ask you about putting a PENIS on the coffee table??”

We cracked UP. Omg. Freakin’ hilarious. And she’s just staring at us like we’re fucking crazy. Took a few minutes to explain the whole penis-peanut connection and then she was fine, but oh lordy, I forget that not everyone is as weird as we are.

And it isn’t that she was offended that we say penis. She’s 17 and I’ve been with her and her mother and I know they talk about penis, too. It was just the context of it I guess.

Too funny.

Well. Anyway. This is the longest bullshit post in the history of ever so I’m done now. :D

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