I was reading about crossing lines on Patty’s blog this morning. Have you yet been thinking or vaguely feeling something… and then read it on someone else’s site? It’s nice, I think, when that happens. You feel a little less alone in this big old world. (Getting past the ol’ “now I cant write it or I’ll be a copycat!” feeling…hehe) It’s also valuable to see how it gets played out in someone else’s life.
Anyway, so I was thinking about crossing lines and limits. It’s edgy and extreme to say “I am a slave with no limits”. And I do believe that gets said alot.. and misinterpreted alot. Mostly that concept applies to widely known BDSM practices… there are checklists galore if you don’t know what I mean… and I get irritated when someone pipes up with some ‘off the wall but don’t they feel oh so clever’ line like “so it’s ok if your Dom cuts yer tits off? Or throws ya off a building? Or wants to kill ya?” They laugh and nudge the one next to them and then throw in the real kicker “what if he/she wants to molest your child? or wants you to?”
All of those questions are only said to belittle someone. It’s a catch22 and the questioner knows it. The slave in question cannot say “Oh I would let my Dom kill my child since I have no limits” without sounding insane which negates their value in this world anyway… and if they say “well of course I wouldn’t let anyone cut off my balls!” then they have to backtrack to admitting that they do indeed have limits and suddenly they are not so special, not so extreme.. and just the same as every other submissive who hasn’t yet reached the depths of a relationship where one can comfortable say “i have no limits”. The questioner is secure in knowing that they themselves aren’t missing anything.
All of that being said, I recognize that some people DO mutilate, some people DO molest children, etc etc… but I don’t see that as BDSM… and therefore I refuse to accept that it should be discussed in a BDSM setting.
So, thats my long winded take on BDSM limits.
But then I get into lines. Personal lines. Personal boundaries. In the BDSM sense I think those change and fluctuate as you learn and grow. At one time, I liked a little spanking and thought I would maybe like a little bondage. (I’m a long way from those days.) I’ve backed up my line as I’ve delved deeper into myself, and as I’ve found someone worthy of exploring that with. Which brings up another point.
Submitting to someone to that degree is very powerful. The Dom in question perhaps begins to feel God-like… like they need not be held accountable for mistakes… IF they can even admit to making mistakes. They are invincible. Having a no-limits slave at one’s disposal would be, I suspect, a very heady realization. Maybe so much so, that they lose sight of lines and boundaries. And perhaps, when suddenly confronted with a brick wall, they’ve forgotten, in all of their narcissitic and hedonistic attributes, that a boundary was ever there to begin with. And I also think they would have forgotten how to climb.
Imagine if you will… a man (and I only use man here because my own personal experiences are with Dominant men. Insert girl/dog/fish or whatever floats your boat. Also, please don’t assume that I am talking about my Master.. sometimes I do just ramble pointlessly.. and I say we or I because its my damn journal. Thank You.) who has gotten spoiled beyond belief with a no-limits slave. He can beat her.. use her.. fuck her.. starve her.. humiliate her.. He’s waited on, served, massages.. hell He even gets His ass wiped if He wants.. she bathes Him, dresses Him, ties His shoes… and she shows no sign of tiring from this… she LIKES it.. she thrives on it. She kisses his feet with passion.. she offers her body with no inhibitions to be used and hurt…24 hours a day, 7 days a week… complete and total submission.. and then… WHAM!
The brick wall could be anything… pick something… I believe everyone has something that they won’t budge on. Not a sexual practice, but something outside of that. Something that threatens your sense of self, you moral make-up.. something that is more important to you than anything else in the world, including BDSM and the M/s concept.
The slave would struggle mightily I think.. not to keep her Master out, but to work around the brick wall. Slaves have a never-ending desire to please, placate, keep peace..make Master happy. That’s what drives them, motivates them.. it’s ingrained. Of course they would want to make this brick wall a non-issue! But Master has become spoiled and pouty. Petulant and stubborn. How dare HIS slave deny Him anything! The nerve of the girl! Without thought really, He battles her… for possession of the gate key. Attacking… hurting… seeing only the end.. wanting only the thrill of victory.. and completely forgetting that walls, especially brick ones, need to be climbed and not beaten down.
The slave would be frightened.. panicky.. and work tirelessly at buidling a higher wall, a thicker wall… more defenses, more hiding places… still trying to entice the Master to different scenery…with one foot poised to run should He come barrelling through that wall.
Walls.. and lines.. and boundaries aren’t made to frustrate or challenge a Master. They aren’t there for His battering ram practice. Brick isn’t negotiable. If He wants to see what’s on the other side, don’t chip away at it for she’ll patch the holes thicker and faster than He could see anything anyway.
Back up.. get comfortable with the view.. *ask* what’s on the other side. Ask if You can peek. Build a ladder together and ask her to hold the legs should it get wobbly. And if it gets wobbly, back down a few steps.. and let the slave reset the footing.
Thats important, don’t you think?
And on a side note:
I’ve put the website on hold for now. All this buzz about FBI raids and porn sites getting closed down.. better safe than sorry right? I mean, I appreciate all you people for visiting and it gave me a thrill to watch the counter jump and I’ll even admit to beginning to fall in love with voyeurism but I ain’t having the FBI knocking on my door for you folk. Sorry. ;P