Guest Post- I Obey

From lunaKM.

More than “I Obey”

There is a lot to the words, ‘I obey’. The power of submission, the control of a dominant and the surrender of self come out in these words. When I first started exploring submission these were the first terms that I had to grip and hold close to me. I must obey, I will obey and my obedience helps me surrender.

After several years these words till have the hold on my submissive heart and keep me returning back to the center of my purpose; obedience. I thought I had understood them well and that I was progressing well on the path to my ultimate surrender.

That was until I read the book, “SlaveCraft” by a grateful slave. It’s a collection of essays by a slave with more experience and eloquence for words than I have. He puts together visual thoughts and metaphors to help explain the ideas he puts forth. I was transfixed and deeply interested in what he had to say. I highly recommend it for anyone interested in intensifying their submission.

One of his essays was about obedience and for me it changed something in the way I now think of submission and the words, ‘I obey’. He reiterated again and again that it’s not just that you obeyed, but the manner and the way you obeyed. I never really thought this part through and now that I can see clearer I know that I had a huge stumbling block in the road of my surrender.

I thought that just because I obeyed that I was fulfilling my promise to Master to please him. For years now I have thought that is all I needed. Now I know I was wrong. Anyone can obey, but for my surrender to intensify I needed to find the right way and the right manner in which to serve.

For example, I have chores, things I need to do everyday to make Master’s life at home comfortable and relaxed. These things I do to obey with his wishes. But the manner in which I do them is far from satisfactory. Even if I perform my duties completely that was not enough. I needed to bring pleasure to my service in these chores. The extra things I could add to washing the dishes; like environmentally safe detergents, putting them away with less clatter and getting them done swiftly so that he does not have to see the mess of dirty dished piling up. Serving in obedience for me is serving so efficiently that he need not know the extent of my service.

I crave having him see me as a happy submissive and when my mood isn’t right I seek focus in his Dominance. Part of this obedience is expressing my struggles with my mood in terms that will not elevate the situation. I give them to him to deal with so that my service can be more complete.

If you read my blog, you already know that a reoccurring theme is my aberration of blow jobs. When I obey, it is to oblige him with an orgasm. My attitude towards this is one of, ‘let’s get this done so I can do something else.’ Realizing now, and yes even then, that the manner of my obedience was insufficient I have turned my mind to figuring out how I can obey and get through my dislike of the act for his pleasure. My obedience in this needs improvement. I used to say that, at least I obeyed, but now that is not enough. The work I have before me to change my manner of obedience is clear.

For this I have a better outlook on my life of service. I love my Master and want to obey him completely. I know that armed with this new outlook I can find happiness in my obedience once again. I can rise from my knees and say, “I obey.”

lunaKM has been in the BDSM lifestyle for over 5 years. lunaKM authors The Submissive Guide (http://www.submissiveguide.com) where she offers articles for novice submissives on the mindset and growth and learning opportunities of a submissive. You can subscribe to her feed here: http://feeds2.feedburner.com/SubmissiveGuide