Blame the PMS!

“being angry is no excuse for being disrespectful”

First of all, I don’t think I was disrespectful. I think I responded to how I was approached. If I had just walked up to You, out of the blue, and said what I said, THAT would have been disrespectful. Retorting to Your completely rude and insensitive comment was human and emotional and justified. In my opinion.

Besides, You love the feisty side of me, remember? *finger’s crossed*

AND.. You said we’d take the slow road back to complete slave, right now I’m just semi-slave. And semi-slaves are allowed to be bitches. Without punishment. Says so in the rule book.

Plus, You know I’m premenstrual. I swear You pick this week of every month to push my buttons on purpose. Don’t You? You will never be stronger than my PMS. That’s not a challenge, just stating fact..:P

Seriously though, last night really did upset me. I can joke about it today, but I could have cried last night. I felt like I had done sooo much yesterday (and the last few days) to please You and one remark about what I hadn’t done was all it took to erase the proud feelings of being a “good girl”. And I did blow up at You and I am sorry. I didn’t mean to be disrespectful. My feelings were hurt and I responded like any other person would.

Maybe slaves don’t get that luxury. The luxury of spontaneous response.

Yes, I know You didn’t mean to hurt me. I know Your comment in no way undermined everything I had done. That was the pms responding. So… punish my uterus and not me.. hehe.

(On a side note, about spontaneous response. You seem to like my *good* spontaneous responses, so maybe You have to accept the bad ones to keep the good ones. Losing one might include losing the other. Just a thought.)

I am also sorry that I didn’t just take the punishment for being disrespectful. It wasn’t the punishment I was balking at. I know I would have had it done and over with, and it wasn’t even that bad of a thing, but it had become a matter of principle by then. Probably a bit of my pride being stung, along with the fact that I sometimes feel that You “forget” how hard I work and how tired I am and how sleep sometimes needs to be the most important thing in the world. I planted my heels and dug in. Not slavely behavior by any means, but.. if I was perfect.. what would You possibly do with Your time??…;)

I know I didn’t “win”. I know it’s not over.

The slave rests her case.

BTW, I love You!!
kaya

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