Sweetness and light
I can do it. I can be… (choke) nice.
Let’s see. Umm..
~crickets~
~tumbleweed blows by~
Well. Master mail-ordered a chain saw and it was delivered yesterday. I didn’t even know he’d ordered it.
I asked him if I should be worried. (I mean, srsly, a sadist with a chain saw?? This is every horror movie’s beginning!)
He said no (but if I disappear, someone check the back forty for pieces-n-parts, mmmkay?).
Oh! American Idol started last night! w00t! So, my fellow AI fanatics, what do we think of the new judge? I’m reserving judgement for a couple more shows I think. I suspect she’s going to empower Paula to be a big ol’ bitch instead of the raging drunken fool she used to be – which I found highly entertaining and would sorely miss.
I’ve been counting down the AI season opener since last month. I’d randomly holler out “Guess what happens in 2 weeks (or 4 or 3 or 2 days)?!” and someone, Master or a child, would roll their eyes and say “American Idol. Oh, wee.” and circle their finger in the air.
Smartasses.
So last night, an hour before AI was to start, I did my last countdown, “Guess what starts in ONE HOUR?!” and Master goes “Dudn’t matter. I’m watching a movie.”
~sound of screeching brakes~
Like, for real, every submissive bone in my body took an immediate nap.
“Uh. No yer not.”
“Yes I am.”
“No. You really are not.”
~eyebrow~ “Um. Yes. I really am.”
~planting my heels~ “NO. You are NOT.”
“Tess,” ~warning sound in his voice~ “I’m going to watch a movie.”
~narrowing my eyes~ “You wanna take this outside? Huh? Do ya? DO YA?!! Yippee-kai-yay Motherfucker!”
(Okay, okay, I didn’t SAY that. I telepathed it though.)
What I DID say was that his movie better be over in one hour then because *I* was watching American Idol at eight o’clock come hell or high water and if he REALLY wanted to fight me on it I was more than willing to go that way but if he were a smart man he’d go watch his stupid war movie in the den and let me watch american idol because, in case he’d forgotten, we DID just get a chain saw delivered in the mail that day and he WOULD have to sleep sometime and this REALLY wasn’t the best time of the month to go all Billy Bad Ass –
He patted me on the head and told me to breathe. He was just fucking with me.
So I watched American Idol and it were good.
Let’s see. What else.
*Master has the man-flu. He is dying.
*It is fucking cold here. -6F, wind chill of -20F. People should not live here! Gah! Anywhere in the country to pick from and he chooses the arctic tundra wasteland of upper Michigan. Not the balmy coast of California. Not the tropical utopia of Florida. Not the warm beautiful desert of Arizona. Upper Michigan, according to a Dom I know, has two seasons. There is 9 months of winter and 3 months of crappy snowmobiling.
*Am’s orthodontic care is going to send us to the poor house. Next week she goes in for a spacer and then an extraction. Even with insurance, we’re looking at an out-of-pocket expense of a couple grand for her braces. Jes needs her wisdom teeth taken out, Master had a tooth pulled last month and needs a crown, B-man had a cavity filled and sealers put on – and I? Am not going. Period. At least not until all of this is paid off.
*Speaking of which, I have a line on a jay-oh-bee as a CNA. We’re still kicking around the pros and cons but we’re leaning toward the pros. Because -
*Jes. She doesn’t qualify for any of the programs (so far). WIC, blah blah blah, we’re over the income guidelines. I took the advice of one of the comments awhile back and took Jes on a “field trip” where I had her price everything she’d need before the baby came and get an estimated cost of weekly supplies (diapers, formula, etc.) Unfortunately, it did more to scare me than her. So… job. Yeah. Besides, it’ll give me something to do other than finding irritating things on teh interwebz.
*The ex got on the phone yesterday and graciously offered to help pay to fix Jes’s car (serpentine belt broke) which insanely pissed me off beyond all reason. I asked if he might also find it in the goodness of his heart to help pay for Am’s braces or how about some of these medical bills that Jes is accruing or, you know, maybe chip in for food for these three kids of his. I realize that $80 for a car repair is a big sacrifice for him and all but for fuck’s sake. Loser. I hate him so bad.
He said, but I’m sending them a hundred dollars for Christmas ~whine~. Are you fucking kidding me? First, Christmas was last month. Second, I’ll believe it when they each have the money in their hands and third, it takes more than a one hundred dollar, once-a-year gift to raise kids. I WISH they only cost a hundred bucks a year. Sanctimonious asswipe.
I’m losing the battle to be nice, aren’t I?
Ah well. I tried. :-)
~cunt
Uncategorized | kaya | 
Wednesday January 14th, 2009 8:58am
That has got to be one of the sweetest, lightheartedness posts you’ve ever made.
*grinning from ear to ear*
Doesn’t look like you have it in you.
~junebug
Kaya – I could have gone with lightest (seemed too simple) or lighthearted (again, not enough humph) so I used lightheartedness. I’ll give you the definition later so you can practice your sweet and light side.
Wow. Only a 300 mile difference, and yet it’s still in the 16/-5 region at the moment.
-snuggles in the sun with the kitty-
Well, some people aren’t worth the effort needed to be nice. The ex sounds like one of them.
I have to be honest…I kinda love Scott for fucking with you like that. It’s really funny from an outsider’s perspective. I’m sure it was wretched being on the inside but at least, you got to watch AI
warm beautiful desert of Arizona?
yeah, from October to May then it is truly hell on earth
I hope this new job doesn’t mess with you the way the last one did, now that you and Master S. have just started getting back to how things should be.
I know you don’t have much choice in the matter, my friend, but maybe you can put some safe-guards or something in place, so that the job doesn’t kill your submissive side…?
It was -22 with a wind chill factor of -35
And for the first time in many years none of the kids got to leave the building for the entire day (ALL DAY!!) because the experts tell us exposed skin will freeze in just under 5 minutes in this temperature …………… and they say this is the first day of the cold snap (snap?? isn’t that something that is over in a flash??) we are looking at at least 6 days of -20+ degrees with wind chill factors of -40 upwards.. which means 2 more days of being locked up in the building with 400+ kids………
shoot me now.. k??
morningstar (owned by Warren)
Feeling better huh?
And, on a side note. DAMMIT! Why did American Idol have to start THIS week?
Kaya,
It could be worse. You could have moved to northern Alaska where you’d still be waiting for the sun to rise since it set LAST MONTH. Seriously, I wrote a short story set there and looked a few facts up. It can get so cold and windy that you can freeze exposed flesh in under 30 seconds and freeze to death in minutes if you’re stupid enough to go out with no protection. So just keep telling yourself, “It’s not Alaska, it’s not Alaska.” On the other hand, Michigan gets more snow than Alaska on average because of lake effect snow.
On the other hand, I’ve never understood the attraction of AI or any other “reality show.” Give me Doctor Who, Heroes, Stargate, Eureka and Sanctuary. I’ve got DVR for just those reasons. ;)
Dave
Here’s an idea. You and Carrie come and visit ME! Oh, and another idea. You need to take up knitting. You would actually be able to use some yummy woolen whatevers.
kaya, after this post I have put your Master in for the Master of the Year award. Such beautiful meanness needs to be rewarded and idolized……golf clap. I lol’ed real hard…
OH MAN! My breath seized in my chest when I read him saying “I’m going to watch a movie”. Cause my Master would totally fuck with me like that. Jerks.
I was on the edge of my seat for about ten seconds till I figured out you got to watch AI. So happy for you!
Still…that was SO TOTALLY MEAN!
Rofl mindfucks are great. As for asshat ex’s yep, I haz one too. They think a wee measley bit of money once a year qualifies them for father of the year. UGH. x
you know, for the most parth, orthodontics are a big old money suck. most of them are cosmetic, honestly. “but, but, shell hav a GAP!” horrors. “but, this tooth is CROOKED!” oh noes. “but, there are two or three teeth here that kind of twist over each other a little!” um. yeah? and? is is going to mess up her mouth? i mean, really? is is going to cause tooth deacay (honestly, no matter what they tell you, teeth touching or looking “crowded” is NOT going to wreck your dental history.)? is it going to cause her lots of pain ? no? then why the HECK am i putting my child through all this pain and horribleness (plus having to wear braces which hurt, and which you just can’t hide, no matter how hard you try).
honestly, if look really closely at the mouths of just about EVERYBODY I KNOW, they have a tooth or two that’s twisted, or a space, or some “crowding”, and you know what? I NEVER NOTICED. like, ever. i point out my crooked teeth to people, (people i’ve known for years!!) and they go, “huh. that’s neat. i never noticed that. ”
i’m not bashing orthodontics completely. there are cases where there are some extreme things going on in somebody’s mouth, and it needs some serious fixin’, but in most cases? no. no not really. and it would be totally different if it was somebody’s child’s like, nose or something. “well, what we need to do is we need to break her nose, and realign it HERE, because really, i mean, look at it. it’s too short! she’s be ridiculed! and she’ll feel so much BETTER about herself once we do this!” or “this cheekbone is a little higher than the other, so we need to put in an implant over here, because we need to make it symmetrical, and it’s going to maybe make her glasses sit kinda funny if she ever has to wear glasses. ” how silly does that sound?
so, we need to correct this because they kinda touch, or there’s a space, or they “look crowded” kinda makes me go.. “yeah and?”
seriously do to a person (NOT a dentist or orthodontist you will be paying!!) and say, “hey, is this strictly necessary? i mean, really? what are the REAL issues with these “conditions”? and be mean about it. i’ve seen so many young folks go through two or three years of hell with braces to end up with teeth that were only slightly straighter.
be mean. make them tell you why, and question EVERY STEP of the way. because it’s a HUGE racket. (having a few acquaintances who are into dentistry/orthodontics, i know a big huge bunch of it(as in, most of it) is just to get money out of you. no matter how “nice” they are. they have to make a living, and both of those fields make a TON of money. )
(gets off soapbox)
When i actually read this and interpreted it like a movie in my head, i roared like an ass. OMG this is FUNNY!
Let’s see. Umm..
~crickets~
~tumbleweed blows by~
Sounds like my days at work at the new not-so-great job.
Anyway, i don’t know anything about cooking or barley and you found the answer to your computer question (not that i would have helped much) but just stopping in to say hey.
Fucking cold, isn’t it? Imagine being naked in it. With weights hanging down. And blindfolded. With a crop in your mouth. Nude in the snowy cold.
Sticking my hand up in the air. That’s me.
Thanks for the roaring laugh: ~tumbleweed blows by~
muah! xoxx
супер оригинально