Sometimes this frightens me. Sometimes I think that we all get into our ruts as we get older, and my situation isn’t *that* much different, as I scour the internet for all sorts of information every day. I dunno.

I talked with Master about this a little bit last night. He said “I’m not dumbing you down, but I am focusing your attention and talents elsewhere.”

At the Other Place (fetlife) danae said: “being very isolated and him having such control over everything in my life – puts me in a bubble. I haven’t lost my smarts or knowledge I had before – there just is a different use of it.” I can identify with that.

I feel like I’m in a bubble. I have a hard time even faking an interest in things that aren’t in my bubble. When conversations turn to subjects that don’t directly affect my world, my eyes gloss over and I stare off into space and instead of being an active participant, I’m in my head thinking “Tra-la-la-la. Gardens and flowers and fresh bread! Tra-la-la-la!”

On the ocassion that something makes me stick my head out of my bubble and I realize just how focused I am, to the point of not letting the outside world in, I have a moment of… well, I don’t know what. I just have a moment.

Master said to me last night that he could just as easily send me to school for 8 hours a day but being that the service he wants is what he’s having me do right now, it would seem like a waste of valuable resources. Especially when the only purpose for doing so is some silly notion that his “job” is to make me the best I can be in all areas of my life when, according to him, his “job” is to make me be the best I can be in the ways that enhance HIS life. And that is where he puts his effort.

He assured me that at any time he wishes for a different type of service; a career, a titillating conversation partner, whatever, all it would take is for him to put the wheels in motion. He’s right, it would.

The Rhodes/Roads thing made me crack up. I was all “SEE! I R Stooopid! I has proooooof!” And I KNEW that, I swear I knew Rhodes vs. Roads. As soon as I saw it I was like D’oh! Hee. Too funny.

For rayne- I don’t notice it happening until something shocks me out of my stupor. The last time it happened, a few years ago, I had gotten lost in the city and I pulled over and just sat there, panicking, not knowing what to do. I remember thinking then that 5 years ago I wouldn’t have been so stumped, that I’d have handled it just fine. Then I took stock of my life and noticed all of the ways it was different, that I was different.

Then I slid back into my stupor I guess.

This time, what jolted me out of it was him laughing with/at me over that silly rubbermaid thing and my genuine delight over having it. Again, I poked my head up and really noticed the simplicity.

I’m pretty sure I’ll slide back into the bubble soon. Especially if our tentative plans for next week come about. Can we say “Bubbye children! Hello BDSM!”

Yes we can!

:-)

After you finish all of Harry Potter, you’ll finally get all the names of my pigs. So far we have Albus Dumblerboar, Ginny, Minerva, Hermione, Wilhimina and Pomona. We sold Gellert, after he spent of summer of love with Albus.

I have only commented here briefly in the past but this post and Carries have both caught my attention and I wanted to,,,,I don’t know – empty my brain? I apologize in advance for it being long. I have been discussing this topic with a gentleman friend and it could be my reality one day; soooo, here goes.

Gentleman friends of mine have mentioned their past relationships where the women were unhappy being home, felt undervalued, felt unfulfilled, looked down upon. Maybe I am missing something, but I see value in maintaining a peaceful welcoming home for you and yours. The fact that you can afford it is a gift from God.

I read Carrie and your blogs — not because of the harder BDSM stuff. (Honestly, sometimes I have to close my eyes and hit the forward key — I just blush) But I read your blogs because of your honesty on how you interact with your husband, and your kids, and the challenges you face in your world as a submissive woman loving a dominant man.

So many women, in any and all types of relationships lie about what it takes to have a successful relationship. They obscure the warts and all side of their relationships. You just put it out there. Love it or hate it — this is what mature women do to have successful relationships. You’ve decided how you will live, and you live it out, keeping your word. It has been painful, unhappy and at times scary. But you told the truth. This is how real-life happens, in all it’s honest glory.

You share hard-won wisdom about the realities of power-exchange relationships as compared to the fantasy-driven rantings of so many people on-line. Brutally honest sometimes (on-line relationships anyone?). You state plainly the pain and the pleasure of this type of relationship. With all due respect, your writings clearly display an intelligent, articulate witty woman who is by no means dumb, uninformed, unintelligent or a slowly regressing nincompoop.

You don’t think you can engage in the deeper more esoteric conversations on the web? Are you serious? Just this week you launched a conversation about emotional sadism. Brilliant. Did I agree? Heck No! It was scary stuff, but dog-gone it you made people think.

Hmmm, directing your smarts? The tasks you identified all require your smarts. You have noted repeatedly that he respects intelligence in women. Perhaps you do not see how your own descriptions shows he respects intelligence in you.

I could not do you. Anyone can perform a sex act. The rest of the stuff you do on a daily basis is beyond my abilities. I envy you. I’ve copied your recipes, lol, can’t make them, but I’ve copied them. Have you any idea what it takes to run a house? It seems so easy for you — it isn’t so easy for a lot of women. If it wasn’t for the kinky stuff you could give Heloise a run for her money. There are women who work too much to put out a nice garden — no time. Knowing you? Next thing we will see is LOL Chicks! He can call you and you can whip together dinner for a crew of folks at the drop of a hat. Everyone can’t do that! You are the go to girl. He has staff to discuss work issues with, what is the attraction of discussing that stuff with you? You are where his mind goes to find peace.

I ask you the same question I asked Carrie, Do you recognize the value of your role, of your submission in the greater scheme of things? You mentioned somewhere else that you get your husbands plate, get him a drinks when he needs it, put out a glass of water at night in case he wants a drink. I didn’t know those behaviors were submissive, I thought of them as loving. The idea that someone in this world looks at those actions and define them as subservient does not make it so, it is simply their perspective — their reality. It seems as if you are devaluing your activities because of some lingering, faint vision of simpleton behavior. Where is it written that serving your mate and perform courteous deeds to be considered nothing? A sign of a mindless drone?

If you were working outside of the home, would your house be as clean? I’ve hired housekeepers and I can still out-clean anyone who has ever worked for me. Would you eat as well? I wish I could spend a week with you before I get married again to get that whole cooking thing down, lol. Would you have the hobbies that you have? Could you grow a garden? Would you be as good a friend, a lover, a family member? When you work outside of the home — you make concessions, there are trade-offs.

You are reading Harry Potter. I am jealous, I can’t focus enough to get through those books. You have created a home for your husband, there is good food bubbling in a pot and whatever your interests, you excel at them. Your premise is you are happy so you are stupid. Girl, love your stuff and be happy.

Idk, I’ve been thinking about this topic a lot lately and now you girls brought it onto your blogs. I guess we don’t know till we know how a circumstance feels. But I don’t feel ’simple’, I don’t see you as ’simple’ so this leaves me perplexed.

Forgive me for being lazy, but I commented at Carries and use an edited version of this for her too. I want to understand, if you guys really feel this way or is this reflected back on you by others without an understanding or an appreciation of your contributions.

Sorry it is so long,

P

The Harry Potters are a great read. Have you read any of the Laurel K. Hamilton series? Hot, hot reads.

Take care,
April