So last night I…
… was NOT sucking Master’s cock! Can you believe it? Too tired for a blow job is seriously tired indeed. Poor guy.
He got a back rub though so I didn’t feel entirely useless. :-)
I had a light bulb moment last night concerning Master’s (stupid ridiculous) body hair thing. First, I thought that He must have turned gay and is trying to make me as man-like as possible, but He assured me that wasn’t the case. I’m glad too, because I really don’t look right wearing a strap-on. So what I’m thinking now is that He’s going to make me hate it so much that I’ll BEG Him to rip it all off with duct tape.
This came to me when I decided I was going to sit Him down for a come-to-Jesus-meetin’. I was just right on the verge of saying “I hate this body hair so much that I’ll beg you to pluck it all out one by one” when it came to me. Uh-huh. That’s what He’s waiting for. He’s waiting for me to WANT it. Sneaky fucker. It’s a win-win for Him and a no-win for me. I can be hairy and be grossed out and humiliated and hate it (cuz He totally has plans to display me at public play parties) or I can beg to have it removed in the most painful way possible (which is the only way it’s coming off apparently!) and hate that too. Either way, He’s set up for full enjoyment.
Were I not always the one on the receiving end of the cunning way His mind works, I’d be impressed. As it is, I’m .. well fuck. I’m still impressed. It’s just buried under a whole lot of “you sneaky motherfucker!” type feelings.
Enough about that.
So yesterday I was at the store getting some groceries and as I walked past the greeting card display I caught sight of an anniversary card. I aww-ed and thought, gee, Master and I have an anniversary coming up. I should do a little sumpin sumpin for Him. I walked on and then thought, oh hey! Our anniversary was 3 days ago. Well damn.
We both forgot about it. We’re so not into “special” days. Every day is special with Him! Awww! ;)
Anyway, I did buy Him a present, a dvd and some beer (ah! romance!) and then I thought that He’d just feel awful not having a gift for me so I bought Him one to give me. I’m ever-so-thoughtful like that.
When He got home from work and I lavished Him with the dvd and beer, He asked what He got me. He got me a waffle iron! w00t! My inner domestic diva is pleased.
Master has waffles every morning for breakfast. Frozen toaster waffles. That will just never do! I can do better than frozen toaster crud! So. Bright and early this morning (5-freakin-a.m.) I was in the kitchen whipping up waffle batter.
It’s a little trickier than I had anticipated. Master was sitting at the table at 6a.m., literally tapping His fork on the tabletop and reminding me that He had to leave soon. I was wringing my hands as the waffle iron spit batter at me through the edges and saying “I know I know! They’re just not perfect yet!”
The first set had too much batter and after it puked half it all over the counter top, the waffles were burnt in the middle and doughy on the edges. The second batch had not-enough batter and it was more holes than waffle. The third set I tried to put cinnamon on and accidentally dumped WAY WAY too much on.
The fourth set looked all right. He ate them. He declared them to be “okay”. He pointed out that His frozen toaster waffles have cinnamon baked in them.
*sigh*
I think the homemade waffles became much more about me than about Him. Ego-centered service? Something like that. Or so says Fetlife. ;)
The kids rocked on their chocolate chip waffles though.
I think I just need better recipes (I just used the bisquick box recipe. I’m certainly open to suggestions?) and more practice. I shall not be beaten out by Eggo and a toaster.
~cunt
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Uncategorized | kaya | 
Thursday October 16th, 2008 7:13am
Shouldn’t that be Eggo-centered service?
BWAHAHAHAHA! Yes!
LMAO! That’s great.
Wait, that’s what I thought it said in the first place.
No wonder he’s making me stay in college. I can’t fucking read.
lol… i thought it said that too at first
HAHAHA me too =/
Did the waffle iron come with recipes?
Nope. Nothing. :(
Hey, I could send you a box of the wafflemix I use, if you can afford the post fee-thingy. ;) It’s really, really, really delicious. And probably very Swedish.
These are “normal” Swedish waffles:
* 25 gram yeast
* 5 dl cold milk
* 4,5 dl wheat flour
* 0,5 tsp salt
* 2 dl melted margarine or butter
Mix the yeast in half of the milk. Add the flour and mix well, untill it’s smooth. Add the rest of the milk, salt and melted butter. Then just sover with plastic and let it stand on the counter for two hours. About 1dl makes one waffle.
There’s an entire Swedish website devoted to waffles… I would translate, but I haven’t got the time. :(
-feels my eyes crossing at grams and dls- Man, I wish there was just ONE method of measurement. -giggles-
Yeah, why can’t you just go metric? ;)
Here it is translated with google:
0.88 oz yeast
2.11 cups cold milk
1.9 cups of flour
0.5 tsp salt
0.84 cups of melted butter
Have fun. ;)
Yeah but – we don’t actually have measuring devices that measure in decimals. That I’m aware of. I hate math!
0.84 cups? Gah!
I really hate transferring measurements for that reason, it screws up things.
I’m not sure how to compensate the meassurements, as I don’t know the differance between the yeasting power of US yeast and swedish yeast, and how bleached flour or US grown wheat flour reacts… Krista recently said there’s a differance, and I know US flour is known for addatives while swedish flour is… well, ground wheat, sometimes with added b-vitamine.
There’s also milk fat %. This milk is supposed to be 1.5% or 3% fat. :)
I *think* something like this would work:
0.8 oz yeast
2 cups cold milk
2 cups of flour
0.5 tsp salt
0.75 cups of melted butter
or maybe
1z oz yeast
2.5 cups cold milk
2.5 cups of flour
0.5 tsp salt
1 cup of melted butter
You’ll have to experiment…
or try this:
* 1.5 cup flour
* 1 cup icecold water
* 1.5 cups 40% cream
* 4 tbs melted butter
Mix flour and water. Whip the cream really hard and turn it into the dough. Stir in the butter. Then make waffles!
Try different heats, on the waffleiron as well. It usually takes about three minutes to make a thoroughly cooked waffle.
I love waffles. Anyone notice?
One cup is 2 sticks of butter, so this would come to a bit over one and a half sticks of butter… probably one stick and 5 tablespoons butter.
I was thinking about saying something like ‘damn foreigners!’ but people might think badly of me for it. -giggle-
Dontcha know OUR way of living is THE way of living if you want to have a respectable civilization? YOU convert! -snicker-
No, YOU convert! ;)
At least the metric system doesn’t have four separate ways of measuring ounces, varying depending on where you are and what you’re meassuring. Yanno, metric is scientific.
*giggle* My metric system has a bigger cock than your FUBAR system. Na-na-nanaaa-naaa. ;)
Bigger cock, you say? -converts with a quickness!-
er… well… actually, the first post *was* metric. Yours is uh… shit I forget what we Americans call our system. FUBAR… yeah that’s it :P
Nowadays… all the math textbooks call our system of measurement “customary units.” So there are metric and customary units. Go figure…
lawl
Tell me where and how. I’ll take it!
I’ll email you. :)
Ego-Centered Service is just fancy way for people who cook Hamburger Helper and biscuits from cans to hide in plain sight.
When you have time – write more about this?
Goodness but I am bossy to you today! LOL
Here. Um.. please. There. Now it’s a request and not an order. *snicker*
Forget the waffles …you seriously have to write a book, you are publishable.
lol.. but writing doesn’t puke waffle batter all over my counter. Who in their right mind would bypass that particular joy? ;-)
It might be worth your time to keep the waffle iron out today and use a pastry brush to coat the interior with shortening or lard. Turn it on. Let it get hot for a good while. After you’ve let that cook into the plates of the waffle iron, shut it off and after it has cooled wipe down the interior with a damp cloth but DO NOT WASH all the shortening off of it. It’s just like proofing a cast iron pan.
And if you want waffle recipes, I’ve got a couple that my family loves. I’ve never had frozen waffles, so I can’t really compare them, but I have eaten a LOT of homemade waffles (as evidenced by my fat butt).
Good luck!!
THe absolute best pancake batter is from williams sonomoa, a little pricey (i know everyone wants to save money) but once you have them its really hard to go back to the regular old bisquick stuff.
They also have waffle mix too i’ve never had, but imagine that too would be delicious and i think there is a waffle recipe on the box of pancake stuff.
Its so worth it!
Ooooh…waffles…great idea! On my way to the kitchen now. :)
My waffle batter recipe is rather simple and comes from Betty Crocker:
2 large eggs
2 cups all-purpose flour
1 and 3/4 cups milk
1/2 cup vegetable oil
1 tbsp. granulated sugar
4 tsp. baking powder
1/4 tsp. salt
and I like to add a splash of vanilla
Beat eggs in large bowl with hand beater or whisk (I whisk) until fluffy. Beat in remaining ingredients until smooth.
Both the prep and cook time are only 5 minutes. I like to make the batter while I wait for my iron to heat up. This recipe makes six 7-inch round waffles.
I make a fresh batch every few days and haven’t had a complaint yet. I like covering a waffle in whipped topping and chocolate syrup. Very yummy.
I love the “Basic Waffle” recipe from Alton Brown on Foodtv.com. I always mix up a large amount of the dry ingredients to save some time. So, here it is:
4 3/4 ounces all-purpose flour, approximately 1 cup
4 3/4 ounces whole-wheat flour, approximately 1 cup
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon salt
3 tablespoons sugar
3 whole eggs, beaten
2 ounces unsalted butter, melted
16 ounces buttermilk, room temperature
Vegetable spray, for waffle iron
Directions
Preheat waffle iron according to manufacturer’s directions.
In a medium bowl whisk together the flours, soda, baking powder, salt, and sugar. In another bowl beat together eggs and melted butter, and then add the buttermilk. Add the wet ingredients to the dry and stir until combined. Allow to rest for 5 minutes.
Ladle the recommended amount of waffle batter onto the iron according to the manufacturer’s recommendations. Close iron top and cook until the waffle is golden on both sides and is easily removed from iron. Serve immediately or keep warm in a 200 degree F oven until ready to serve.
Taylor and I both just laughed our asses off over the “What did I get you?” bit.
We could see it. Hear it. And totally know we DO it. Hehehehehhee
Basic waffles
(adapted from the 1997 version of The Joy of Cooking)
makes 12 6-inch waffles
This recipe is adaptable: you can use as little as 4 tablespoons or as much as 16 tablespoons of butter. You can also add more eggs and reduce the milk for even richer, lighter waffles. One-half cup of raisins, ripe banana chunks, nuts, crumbled bacon or berries can be added after the wet and dry ingredients are mixed.
1 3/4 cup flour
1 T. baking powder
1 T. sugar
1/2 tsp. salt
3 large eggs, well beaten
8 T. butter, melted
1 1/2 cup milk
Step 1: Preheat the waffle iron
Step 2: Whisk together the flour, baking powder, sugar and salt in a large bowl.
Step 3: Whisk together the eggs, butter and milk in a second bowl.
Step 4: Add the liquid ingredients to the flour mixture and stir briefly. The batter should be slightly lumpy. Err on the side of undermixing.
Step 5: Spoon 1/2 cup batter onto the hot iron and spread it within 1/4 inch of the edges with a spoon.
Step 6: Close the lid and bake until steam stops emerging. Keep warm as above or serve immediately.
Belgian waffles
(adapted from the 1997 edition of The Joy of Cooking)
12 6-inch waffles
This is a yeast batter so you will need to allow a good hour and a half before you want to serve: around 20 minutes preparation and an hour for the batter to rise.
To start the yeast:
1 envelope (2 1/2 tsp) active dry yeast
1/4 cup warm (105 to 115 degree F) milk
Step 1: Mix the yeast into the warm milk until the yeast is dissolved.
Step 2: Let stand about 5 minutes.
For the batter:
3 large eggs, separated
2 3/4 cups lukewarm milk
12 T (1 1/2 sticks) butter, melted and cooled
1/2 cup sugar
1 1/2 tsp. salt
2 t. vanilla
4 cups flour
Step 1: Mix the egg yolks, 1/4 cup of the milk and the butter in a large bowl.
Step 2: Add the yeast mixture and the sugar, salt and vanilla
Step 3: Add the flour, about 1/3 at a time, alternating with the rest of the milk.
Step 4: Beat the egg whites until soft peaks form, then fold into the batter.
Step 5: Bake and keep warm as above.
Also:
Banana Waffles with Pecan Maple Syrup
http://www.epicurious.com/recipes/food/views/BANANA-WAFFLES-WITH-PECAN-MAPLE-SYRUP-11809
And, you can’t mess these puppies up:
Waffled Ham and Cheese Sandwiches
http://www.epicurious.com/recipes/food/views/WAFFLED-HAM-AND-CHEESE-SANDWICHES-109016
Bisquick recipe works great here. New waffle iron is a Quisainart
Makes 4 at a time. Comes with ” how to’s”. Have found 1/2 of the amount of batter they reccomend is just right. The iron makes a MAJOR difference. Justify the cost by saying,” Did you know that some waffel irons cost $ 2100.00 dollars !” Anyhow the oil thing should prevent sticking. Enjoy. Oh yea, After Thanksgiving or maybe Christmas dinner, like the next morning, make waffels with turkey bits and turkey gravey served instead of syrup. Not bad on a cold Saturday evening either.
Gotta agree about the quality of the waffle iron being a HUGE sticking point. (<—See what I did there? :))… I’d love to take credit for the kick-assery of my waffles, but the truth is I use the Bisquick recipe (for the record, I love baking from scratch, but NOT at stupid o’clock in the morning) and they come out amazing simply because my waffle iron is a small metal god.
P.S. – If I’m going to do something like cinnamon, I always put it in the batter so it doesn’t get all burny and yuck. :D
~Toy
Mistress has to have crepes almost every morning-if it isnt crepes then its waffles~cinnamon waffles at that. the best recipe i have found so far is off the mr. breakfast site. here it is:
Cinnamon Waffles
(6 servings)
2 eggs
3/4 cup milk
2 tbsp vegetable oil
1 cup flour
1 1/2 tsp baking powder
1 1/2 tsp sugar
1/2 tsp salt
1 tsp cinnamon
In medium bowl, beat eggs until thick, add milk and oil. Add dry ingredients, mix until smooth.
Makes 6 waffles
Slice with fresh fruit and enjoy! :)
it took me a bit of practice to make them Mistress perfect but now i got them down pat. i got a bbq brush to get just the right amount of oil on the iron too. if the children arent home Mistress requires me to cook in the nude. hot oil being spit on me is too much for even my masochistic tendencies-ouchie momma.
congrats to you both on your anniversary :)
The Betty Crocker recipe is a good one….also good old Aunt Jemima mix is pretty good….one tip for any waffle recipe. After you make up the mix let it stand for five minutes or so before you put it on the waffle iron….btw, does your iron have a little light or buzzer to let you know when the waffle is done?
Good luck! Kaye
I have a hate-relationship with waffle irons. One of my more recent jobs required me to make waffles on the spot for everyone, and I got burned EVERY god damn day. Try explaining to a kid that you’ll lose your job if you put chocolate chips in their waffles. x_X
Love waffles, though. I’d give you the recipe we used if I knew it. They were pretty delishus.
i have a great recipe for pumpkin waffles but they are vegan.. they taste like pumpkin pie. They are soooo delish!
OMG. Please gimmie? (Er… What I mean is… If miss Kaya says it’s okay, please post it?) I just made iced pumpkin cookies that were like little cakes of awesome, and I’ve been jonesing for other pumpkin recipes!
~Toy
You can make six (large) waffles with this.
If used with savory foods, omit the sugar.
Sift before measuring:
1 3/4 cups of cake flour
Resift with:
2 teaspoons double acting baking powder
1/2 Teaspoon of salt
1 tablespoon of sugar
Beat well:
3 egg yolks
Add:
2 to 7 tablespoons melted butter or salad oil
1 1/2 cups of milk
Make a hole in the center of the sifted ingredients. Pour in the liquid ingredients. Combine them with a few swift strokes. The batter should have a pebble look, similar to a muffin batter.
Beat until stiff, but not dry:
3 egg whites
Fold them into the batter until they are barely blended.
Well thats my recipe! Hope you enjoy them.
Happy belated anniversary.
You are finally posting about something that my husband and I both love…waffles! (Well actually I love almost all the stuff you post about, but…)
A couple of easy tips, first, get a can of Pam and spray the waffle iron after it heats before you pour the batter in. This will eliminate any issues of sticking. Spray it everytime you pour more batter in.
Next, get a box of Aunt Jemima complete pancake mix. Follow the waffle directions on the box (all you add beside water is vegetable oil). It is good to mix up the batter without stirring too much and to let it sit for a few minutes before cooking it.
Next, ya gotta understand that waffle irons take time to “season”. We started using our new waffle iron earlier this past summer (on Sunday mornings). It gets better everytime we use it.
Another great tip, don’t use regular butter on top of your waffles. Use whipped butter (hey, almost sounds kinky, huh?), it is about a thousand times more delicious.
As for cinnamon, just add some to the batter, no biggee.
We have a Cuisinart we bought on sale at Kohl’s and it works great. Okay, now I’m hungry for waffles.
di
I always substitute sweet cream (heavy whipping cream) for the milk it makes lighter fulffier waffles plus I mix the batter with my stand mixer not by hand.
Good luck
Wow. Thanks so much, all of you. I’ll be making waffles for weeks!
I did not get a “good” waffle iron. I got a wal-mart $10 cheap one. Maybe I’ll have to beg for an upgrade. ;)
I never would have thought about adding things like meat or gravy. How interesting! I bet it tastes like a mini-pot pie, huh? And here I’ve been browsing recipes for meat pies anyway!
Does anyone know how well the batter keeps? Like, could I make it the night before and keep it in the fridge or is it best fresh? Also, can I freeze leftover waffles and reheat them? I’m clueless to the storage life of such things.
You’re all so helpful. I luffs you. :-)
My batter lasts 2-3 days in the fridge. It’s great fresh, but there’s also something to be said for making a waffle the next day. I don’t know what happens in the fridge, but somehow the batter seems even better. *shrug*
You can freeze leftover waffles. My technique is to lay each one naked on a plate in the freezer and freeze them separately for a couple/few hours, then place them in a bag together. Why go through all that trouble? Because otherwise you’ll have soggy waffles. Your frozen waffles should keep for around 6 mos. or so. I suppose you might be able to keep them up to a year, but I’ve never tested that theory because who needs to keep them that long? lol
LOL
I can just see you standing in the kitchen naked with batter squirting out at you and you dancing around trying to stay out of the way….LOL.
Good luck on your waffles (If you had coated them with pussy juice he would not have noticed how bad they were cooked)