Sex
We had really good sex the night before last. There’s nothing unusual about us having great sex. I didn’t want to have sex though. Not at first.
Although at first, He just wanted His dick sucked. And I wasn’t in the mood.
Even though I vow (repeatedly) to stop grumbling when I’m not in the mood for sex stuff, I always grumble when I’m not in the mood for sex stuff. Because, well, because I’m not in the mood.
There is a price to be paid for keeping me so damn spoiled. I begin to expect it. I begin to think that I deserve to be listened to and coddled and that I should not have to perform such acts when I’m not in the mood. I mean honestly, just who does He think He is anyway?!
Besides, He’d already told me earlier that HE wasn’t in the mood so I totally didn’t even have my game face on.
So I grumbled and I stomped and I reminded Him that He didn’t *want* sex and I scowled, as I kneeled between His legs and took His limp dick in my mouth.
And to top it all off, to add insult to injury, not only did I have to stop what I was doing, but He wanted me to suck His dick while He played His stupid video game. Some manly shoot-em-up x-box army-man guy-thing game.
There is nothing sexy about sucking dick with grenades and machine guns blasting in your eardrum and an x-box controller resting on top of your head. Nothing.
I may be a fairly decent cocksucker but not even I can compete with things that blow up. He remained limp, completely NOT focusing on me or my mouth. And I start questioning why I bother. Silently of course, though I tried shooting Him a few “looks”, but shit, He wasn’t looking at me!
I sucked and licked and moaned and groaned to myself about how unfair this was and how insulting it was and what about me? and who’s going to get ME off? and Jeez Louise, it must be NICE to just have someone around that you can snap your fingers at to get your willy slobbered on and…
Well, so you get the idea anyway, right?
Then I felt guilty because I started to compare myself to all these other people I read who never grumble and who are just so bloody graceful in their service. Who seem to find such pleasure in what they do, probably even in sucking cock during Ghost Recon (or whatever He was playing) and I kind of hated them all a little because I will never be that wonderfully, spiritually, pleasantly obedient. Ever. I just won’t. I’m head-strong and I’m selfish and I have pms and I’m grumpy. I’m mouthy and opinionated and argumentative. I’m assertive, I stand up for myself, I demand things! I’m all of those things.
Then it just kind of dawns on me that, while I am all of those so-called negative things, I was also kneeling on the floor between His feet when I wanted to be anywhere else but there, my own feet long-since asleep and full of pins-n-needles, the x-box controller bopping me in the head every so often, bombs going off in my ear, being paid absolutely NO attention whatsoever, doggedly trying to suck off a limp, uninterested penis.
I suddenly felt lots better about myself. I was doing what I’d been told to do, and maybe battling those demons and obeying anyway is just as admirable as those who do it with a purer heart and head.
At any rate, in spite of a less-than enthusiastic start, I must have done something right because the game was turned off and I was tossed unceremoniously onto the bed and got my brains fucked out.
No grumbling going on then. 
~cunt
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Uncategorized | kaya | 
Monday October 22nd, 2007 1:36pm
if it makes you feel any better, that seems to be every boy’s fantasy .. getting sucked off while playing video games
dont ask me why but its a VERY common one!
LMAO…. this was an awesome post kaya. Thanks for reminding me that it’s ok to fight those battles, that i don’t have to be graceful and perfect-happy-in-my-service-fantasy-slave.
How’ve you been????? and tell your Master hello for Uus!
~His pet~
Howdy stranger!
We’ve been great! Nice to see you posting again.
congrats
You have/had more grace than I ever would!!! It would of been a whole lot more of the bitching and stomping and grumbling…And even some good ol guilt in the mix!!
Hah…I’ve been there. Though not because I HAD to. My ex (son’s father) was constantly on his video games…i think the tv rays killed his libido. But regardless if i wanted some, i had to just quietly sneak in and hope i could suck his cock while he played video games……the explosions really are unmotivating.
I love it!!!! Having gotten in trouble a couple weeks ago for saying “whatever” when I wasn’t in the mood, it is more than reassuring that I am not the only non fairy princess slave who is sometimes not up for it at every second of the day. Wonder if I can use this as appeal to my punishment? LOL
Wonder if I can use this as appeal to my punishment?
LOL. I wouldn’t recommend it. (but if it works, let me know!)
LOL!! Can so relate!!
When I’m not in the mood and Master wants to be sucked off, my classic response is usually “but you’re not even hard, you CAN’T be horny”.
Not that that works, but hey, it seems logical to me.
I’m still grinning though about your comment of not having your game face on – classic!!
Even those of us who do serve unquestioningly.. say… during a football game, or while they play (funny enough) ghost recon… we question it in our heads too. At least i do. My moment of pride comes when He starts cussing at the game or just gives up all together. When I’ve broken His concentration and He can’t help but give in. And knowing that I have that ability takes away some of the “why the hell am I doing this when dinner’s on the stove, the dryer just buzzed, and the dog’s barking to go out?” thoughts.
~Doux
Kaya will you please come live next door to me?
Sinnamon
I wish!
Thinking off all that while still sucking him off? damn!
lol.. it was a long suck!
It is admireable that you battle the demons, yet still obey. Reading your journal always helps me, as it shows me that things like those demons can be overcome. I admire you in a lot of ways.
*hugs*
Do you feel like an unappreciated piece of fuck meat? Do you feel like a slightly useful possession? Good, that’s the idea. I understand because I used to do that to my slave girl. I enjoyed her frustration trying to get me hard when I was concentrating on the History Channel.
Yes, that’s pretty much how it worked.
First, I just want to say, don’t compare yourself to anyone. It’s pointless, there’s always someone cuter, younger, more submissive, yadda yadda. The only question worth asking is whether you are right *for him*.
Game face? Sheesh, in a 24/7 relationship, there can be no such thing. In a casual play relationship yes.. sure.. an evening of play, you can be fully “on”. But all day? Nup. There are times when you’re shitty, when you’re not submissive.
And that is when I’m *most* interesting to maestro.. he will demand things of me when I least want to give them. When they are the most difficult, and thus the most valuable. He also likes to think of something else, to keep himself soft, so that I will become frustrated.
Doms, what you can do?
I think I’d complain about the X-box controller on the head! :p
-Ofia
“and maybe battling those demons and obeying anyway is just as admirable as those who do it with a purer heart and head”
i sure do hope it is! Otherwise i´m in trouble.
Wonderful post
Who are these bloody graceful freaks! And how long’s it been since their lobotamy? Seriously, we all think this “why do you suddenly wanna fuck me now” stuff and the ones who don’t, well… i say they’re fair game to be hated
Great post!
milla
I actually enjoy sitting under the table while my boyfriend plays games or talks to people on the internets…
I figure if he leaves on his mic, he might make them jealous, or it would at least be funny to hear him talk to people, but try not to let on as to what’s happening.
Sex
Kaya, I love you, I think that you are bloody marvellous. There another hug for you. *G*
Warm hugs,
Paul.
sex and games wth?
Yeah I totally understand that frustration. My Master plays world of warcraft and they do these raid things scheduled most evenings from like 6pm until 10 or 11 pm…. My Master is in the mood a lot half the time when he is playing he’s looking at porn or pics on the net during the wait times between the “bosses” with his hand down his pants. He likes to play with me while he is doing the raids so now that we have gotten me to the bondage stage again i’m tied up during these times and he picks and chooses when he comes in to play with me… sometimes just long enough to get me really worked up then goes back so that he can get back to the game… *cries. Now that he has the evul slut board i have a feeling that most evenings after i get done being the dinner bitch… that indeed i’m gonna be bound to the board near him sucking him while the game isn’t extremely necessary to concentrate on and when he is concentrating being bound to the board uncomfy for hours *pouts.
And as far as you saying the not in the mood thing… omfg… some evenings i can be in the mood like all night while he is playing his game… then pow blammo… i’m tired around 10 or 11pm… so i go to bed… he waits till i’m asleep then wants to be serviced… and yes i do bitch! lol i’m like omg you wait all night playing the game leaving me wanting then want to fuck me when i’m exhausted and asleep… He always wins though and tends to fuck me roughly at that point cuz he gets all aggressive with me being insubordinate like that. ^^ What is a slave to do though… Besides i think a lot of Master’s dig when we get argumentative and bitchy gives them more “energy” to punish and i think they dig the punishment with reason way more than just for the helluvit.
Yer awesome kaya never doubt yerself.
The X-Box strikes again!
Kaya,
My Master is also addicted to His X Box 360. He has not had me blow Him while He plays, yet. There have been times where He will turn off the console suddenly (or just pause the game) and have me suck Him, but not while He is playing. There was a time where He had me do that while He is on the phone, or while He is chatting. I have gotten frustrated during those times, but then I get frustrated to the point that I get determined and stubbron. “I’ll show You damnit!” And suck Him to the point where He HAS to get off the phone, or stop typing. I think that’s why He does it. *lol*
Coyote’s kitten