Comments on: Reminders http://underhishand.com/reminders The trials and tribulations of my life as a slave. Wed, 08 Feb 2012 18:02:43 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: Girdles and spanking http://underhishand.com/reminders#comment-43388 Girdles and spanking Sun, 14 Feb 2010 01:32:00 +0000 http://underhishand.com/?p=4153#comment-43388 [...] my friend Kaya seems to find all the drama on FetLife (of course, she’s looking for it!), I usually see [...] [...] my friend Kaya seems to find all the drama on FetLife (of course, she’s looking for it!), I usually see [...]

]]> By: bee http://underhishand.com/reminders#comment-37849 bee Sat, 01 Aug 2009 12:26:52 +0000 http://underhishand.com/?p=4153#comment-37849 "THEY chose, and committed to being a slave, and therefore, the angels have smiled upon them and they shit perfect rainbows of submission." Oh my dear heaven, this made me laugh so hard I spit tea all over my keyboard. This was a great post--power to we less holy than all imperfect humans of the kink community! And, I agree. I want to be reminded of my place. I need it, it is an essential part of me, this need to be forcefully corrected. And if the Amazingly Perfect Subs of the World don't like it, they can bite my butt. “THEY chose, and committed to being a slave, and therefore, the angels have smiled upon them and they shit perfect rainbows of submission.”

Oh my dear heaven, this made me laugh so hard I spit tea all over my keyboard.

This was a great post–power to we less holy than all imperfect humans of the kink community!

And, I agree. I want to be reminded of my place. I need it, it is an essential part of me, this need to be forcefully corrected. And if the Amazingly Perfect Subs of the World don’t like it, they can bite my butt.

]]> By: puppy http://underhishand.com/reminders#comment-37749 puppy Mon, 27 Jul 2009 07:41:42 +0000 http://underhishand.com/?p=4153#comment-37749 "However, there IS a give and take. There has to be because I am not an altruistic servant." I never felt like an altruistic servant either. And I often felt like I needed to try to be like everyone else because it seemed like most enslaved submissives just naturally only thought of their Dom--never themselves. They wanted a life with no choice, where with me (at the time with my ex) I just wanted to stay in his possessive grasp. Not sure about my next relationship but I did like that enslaving dynamic and that push and pull. That force. That dynamic. “However, there IS a give and take. There has to be because I am not an altruistic servant.”

I never felt like an altruistic servant either. And I often felt like I needed to try to be like everyone else because it seemed like most enslaved submissives just naturally only thought of their Dom–never themselves. They wanted a life with no choice, where with me (at the time with my ex) I just wanted to stay in his possessive grasp. Not sure about my next relationship but I did like that enslaving dynamic and that push and pull. That force. That dynamic.

]]> By: SixThreeFive http://underhishand.com/reminders#comment-37731 SixThreeFive Sun, 26 Jul 2009 00:14:21 +0000 http://underhishand.com/?p=4153#comment-37731 Agreed. And somewhere in the middle of the book, the story just goes... wierd.. I believe that S.K. has said something among the lines of "I was so drunk when I wrote that piece of crap" about it. It's his least favourite book of his own books. I like the first half of it, but not the second, personally. Agreed. And somewhere in the middle of the book, the story just goes… wierd.. I believe that S.K. has said something among the lines of “I was so drunk when I wrote that piece of crap” about it. It’s his least favourite book of his own books.

I like the first half of it, but not the second, personally.

]]> By: w_professor http://underhishand.com/reminders#comment-37722 w_professor Fri, 24 Jul 2009 17:30:45 +0000 http://underhishand.com/?p=4153#comment-37722 Lovely post kaya. I truely believe that a submissive or M/s relationship is harder that a "normal" relationship in our society. One is blasted from all sided to adhere to the norms, and to be what society expects out of you. But it is also your sub-group that you belong to that subjects you to its norms also. So while you are forced to follow the American cultural norms, you also are forced to follow the sub-groups you belong to norms. (such as religious groups) Following your heart and desires to live in what really is a small sub-group in our cutrual, ie. BDSM, is a rejection of all the norms you have been subjected to your entire life, both from family and friends and from the constant barrage of media and informational overload we get everyday. To be able to achieve a true breakaway from this is an achievement of no little size. Just think of the effects of coming out into the open with family and friends and society might be. Society has its ways of forcing the wayward soul back into line or punishing those who stray too far from the norm. I keep my kink hid because it would cause me to lose my job, teaching, and might even cause me, who lives in a conservative state, to lose my kids. So I stay underground no matter how much I long to live openly as a Master. Can't do it; no, no, not now. The point of all this bullshit rambling is that those "morality police" really do harm to our sub-group. How must that person feel, being castout by the castouts? None of us are normal, by societies mores, so for us to judge is really bullshit. This is one of the reasons I tend to stay away from Fetlife discussions..I have this strong desire to tell them to shut the fuck up! Oh well, guess I am doing it wrong still, I have been told that before on fetlife. Guess I will just have to go back to bring my slave flowers and then whipping her over the couch in private, cause ya know, that just sick! Peace, w_professor Lovely post kaya. I truely believe that a submissive or M/s relationship is harder that a “normal” relationship in our society. One is blasted from all sided to adhere to the norms, and to be what society expects out of you. But it is also your sub-group that you belong to that subjects you to its norms also. So while you are forced to follow the American cultural norms, you also are forced to follow the sub-groups you belong to norms. (such as religious groups) Following your heart and desires to live in what really is a small sub-group in our cutrual, ie. BDSM, is a rejection of all the norms you have been subjected to your entire life, both from family and friends and from the constant barrage of media and informational overload we get everyday. To be able to achieve a true breakaway from this is an achievement of no little size. Just think of the effects of coming out into the open with family and friends and society might be. Society has its ways of forcing the wayward soul back into line or punishing those who stray too far from the norm. I keep my kink hid because it would cause me to lose my job, teaching, and might even cause me, who lives in a conservative state, to lose my kids. So I stay underground no matter how much I long to live openly as a Master. Can’t do it; no, no, not now. The point of all this bullshit rambling is that those “morality police” really do harm to our sub-group. How must that person feel, being castout by the castouts? None of us are normal, by societies mores, so for us to judge is really bullshit. This is one of the reasons I tend to stay away from Fetlife discussions..I have this strong desire to tell them to shut the fuck up!
Oh well, guess I am doing it wrong still, I have been told that before on fetlife. Guess I will just have to go back to bring my slave flowers and then whipping her over the couch in private, cause ya know, that just sick!
Peace, w_professor

]]> By: sable http://underhishand.com/reminders#comment-37721 sable Fri, 24 Jul 2009 16:09:01 +0000 http://underhishand.com/?p=4153#comment-37721 Hey long time since we've "talked" I so totally get what you are saying. I enjoy being submissive. When NDG and I stated dating I just acted in the way that felt natural. He noticed and commented and we talked. I was honest and said, This is as far as my submissivness goes without some input from you. I was not being bratty just expressing my needs. I like rules and consequences but I don't like having to be a brat to get a spanking. And we all know I LOVE a spanking. So I was honest in what I wanted and needed. He was honest in what he wanted and needed and we are growing from there. I will always recognize him as the Head of our relationship and will be submissive to him to a degree. Beyond that point, I need some pushing. Fortunately, he likes to push and remind me of my place. It works for us. Sable Hey long time since we’ve “talked”

I so totally get what you are saying. I enjoy being submissive. When NDG and I stated dating I just acted in the way that felt natural. He noticed and commented and we talked. I was honest and said, This is as far as my submissivness goes without some input from you. I was not being bratty just expressing my needs. I like rules and consequences but I don’t like having to be a brat to get a spanking.
And we all know I LOVE a spanking. So I was honest in what I wanted and needed. He was honest in what he wanted and needed and we are growing from there.
I will always recognize him as the Head of our relationship and will be submissive to him to a degree. Beyond that point, I need some pushing.

Fortunately, he likes to push and remind me of my place.

It works for us.

Sable

]]> By: junebug http://underhishand.com/reminders#comment-37720 junebug Fri, 24 Jul 2009 15:37:45 +0000 http://underhishand.com/?p=4153#comment-37720 Great post Kaya - This is a subject that's consumed many hours in my mind. I grew up in an abusive household as did my Mom. With every generation it seems to get better, but I really gravitate towards dominant men. My Grandma was a lot like Rais' mom and it's always been easy to understand - her options were limited, she had 5 kids very young, he was more than 15 years her senior when she was married at 15 - yada yada yada. My mom had more choices, but she also married and started birthing children at 17 and her parents insisted that she stay in an abusive relationship - so her options were still limited. Many people submit in relationships - even really bad ones - not because they don't think they have a choice (or the ability to choose) but because they don't think they have any other options. In my opinion, it seems that the truer form of submission would be when someone submits even though they do have other options. In your case, you are where you are because you choose to be - that is soooo incredibly awesome for you and Scott. ~junebug Great post Kaya -

This is a subject that’s consumed many hours in my mind. I grew up in an abusive household as did my Mom. With every generation it seems to get better, but I really gravitate towards dominant men. My Grandma was a lot like Rais’ mom and it’s always been easy to understand – her options were limited, she had 5 kids very young, he was more than 15 years her senior when she was married at 15 – yada yada yada.

My mom had more choices, but she also married and started birthing children at 17 and her parents insisted that she stay in an abusive relationship – so her options were still limited.

Many people submit in relationships – even really bad ones – not because they don’t think they have a choice (or the ability to choose) but because they don’t think they have any other options.

In my opinion, it seems that the truer form of submission would be when someone submits even though they do have other options. In your case, you are where you are because you choose to be – that is soooo incredibly awesome for you and Scott.

~junebug

]]> By: dragonfly http://underhishand.com/reminders#comment-37707 dragonfly Fri, 24 Jul 2009 13:43:37 +0000 http://underhishand.com/?p=4153#comment-37707 "However, there IS a give and take. There has to be because I am not an altruistic servant. I do require acts of dominance, they DO remind me of my place, I DO begin to falter without them, I AM fueled by his actions, and I DO need things from him." Amen. Hallelujah. Blessed Be. “However, there IS a give and take. There has to be because I am not an altruistic servant. I do require acts of dominance, they DO remind me of my place, I DO begin to falter without them, I AM fueled by his actions, and I DO need things from him.”

Amen. Hallelujah. Blessed Be.

]]> By: xantu http://underhishand.com/reminders#comment-37706 xantu Fri, 24 Jul 2009 12:32:13 +0000 http://underhishand.com/?p=4153#comment-37706 Very good post, thank you. I sometimes wonder what it is about the pain. It feels bad, but afterwards, I fell good. And the memory of it happening, of him standing over me, me submitting, that is so powerful and I find myself shuddering in awe when he reaches out to touch me. If it does not happen frequently, I lose that. I find myself craving it. It does not feel like humiliation to me. It almost is spiritual, or maybe hypnotic? Anyway, thanks, x Very good post, thank you. I sometimes wonder what it is about the pain. It feels bad, but afterwards, I fell good. And the memory of it happening, of him standing over me, me submitting, that is so powerful and I find myself shuddering in awe when he reaches out to touch me. If it does not happen frequently, I lose that. I find myself craving it.

It does not feel like humiliation to me. It almost is spiritual, or maybe hypnotic?

Anyway, thanks,
x

]]> By: Rose http://underhishand.com/reminders#comment-37705 Rose Fri, 24 Jul 2009 05:37:32 +0000 http://underhishand.com/?p=4153#comment-37705 She mentioned it in the post, it's Rose Madder... but to be fair, it's definitely not focused on the submission in the relationship, it's a story of a woman overcoming a legitimately abusive relationship. Not really BDSM, more true domestic abuse. She mentioned it in the post, it’s Rose Madder… but to be fair, it’s definitely not focused on the submission in the relationship, it’s a story of a woman overcoming a legitimately abusive relationship. Not really BDSM, more true domestic abuse.

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