When it comes to friends and those that know you, I think it more reflects on the s-type themselves although in excess it can reflect on both as a couple or on the whole family.

Interesting note: When I received the compliment, only one of the three they were mentioning was my slave. The other two were a brother to my slave and his girlfriend who were new and very nervous so they stayed close, kept their mouths shut and their hands to themselves. Worked out pretty well!

if you are in a “high protocol” situation (which is a whole other post in and of itself) then yes, your actions reflect your training.

But usually- not. people in the lifestyle here know that i’m a smart ass and a strong personality. But i’m courteous to everyone because personally I believe that you are to be nice until it’s time not to be nice. Not for him, for me.

Granted that whole- if a sub offends me, i’m going straight to her Dom/Master/dickhead/whatever pisses me off to no end. I am the type of person that if you have a problem with me, take it up with me. Don’t go behind my back.

But again- in my opinion it’s totally situational.
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I agree with niya about a balance of the two.

I am most certainly my own person. Beloved likes to KNOW about who I talk to, where I go…but he certainly doesn’t control it. *wry smile* He doesn’t have time for that bullshit, and he likes my pixie ways.

However, when we are out together in lifestyle company, I am expected to be respectful and attentive. Different from *submissive*, though…I am having to puzzle out the balance between snarky and respectful.

*shrug* But you know, that’s what it is between US. What works between other M/s or O/p couples is not for me to worry about. *wink*
[rq=2311909,0,blog][/rq]When?

I don’t consider keeping your integrity and dignity intact in the face of verbal or physical assault to be “bitchy” though. Sometimes bitchiness is necessary in life. The trick is knowing when to use it, and when to simply let people figure out that the person is full of bullshit by the smell.

Someone used the example of badly behaved children reflecting on their parents, and I’d go with that except that I raised the ultimate badly behaved child, and I KNOW, absolutely, that her behavior was not about me.

The Top side of any power based relationship is going to have areas where they choose to apply their leverage, and other places where it just doesn’t matter to them. Yours doesn’t get involved in this place with you — mine does. They are different. We are not. If yours cared, I believe you would comply with His wishes. It’s really pretty simple.

swan
[rq=2304194,0,blog][/rq]What is Sexual Submission?

Other times the slave’s behavior is arising from their character and as such truly reflects on the Master only in as much as He has molded that character.
The real issue in this case becomes the judgement of others of His “need” to, and success (or lack thereof) modifying the behaviour. That judgement comes from people that a) expect the Master to “fix” his slave’s behaviour issue, and b) is coloured by the preceived difficult of the task. A Master of a strong bratty slave who is obviously a handfull gets more slack than a Master who demonstrates effective control but simply allows bad behaviour.

Personally I don’t usually care much for what other people think of me – rather I have a code of how I treat others which is easy enough to follow and usually avoids issues in the first place – about the only time we have problems is if she perceives some disrespect for me and goes into attack mode where I would shrug it off (usually as confirming a low opinion of the source of the insult.)

That said, I do enjoy showing her off and take satifaction from the fact she is mine. A grave personality flaw to feed off the envy of others, and perhaps a conceit that her worth increases my measure but I guess that this is an admission I do believe she reflects (well) on me.

That works for KIDS… but not adults.

I think generally, if you make yourself look like a fool when you’re out with someone, most people are going to look at your grown up ass as an individual and wonder why you’re making yourself look the fool. They might wonder why the other person is WITH you, but they won’t blame THEM for your behavior. I think as adults, we own our behaviors and decisions as far as the public is concerned.

As much as some might like to believe that we are a reflection of our owners and when we act terrible, people look at our owners and say “tut tut, he oughta get a handle on that girl”, it’s really more “tut tut, why is he putting up with that foolish thing.” Our actions are our own and reflect back on US and on how we choose to behave as individuals.

That said, some folks DO enter the O/p M/s D/s ?/? lifestyles with an idea that they’ll be able to “give up control” of their actions, which they translate as “giving up responsibility” for their actions.

At least that’s my take on it. Now I do consider D. a reflection of my tastes, choices, and standards as he does me. That means when people look at me, he wants them to know why he chose me and why we’re together. I want the same, but that has nothing to do with O/p and a lot to do with home training, upbringing, and not being allowed to run around in butcheries poking holes in cellopacks when we were tots.
[rq=2303179,0,blog][/rq]Unexpected Acceptances