Comments on: Ready or not… http://underhishand.com/ready-or-not The trials and tribulations of my life as a slave. Wed, 08 Feb 2012 18:02:43 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: Jo http://underhishand.com/ready-or-not#comment-37060 Jo Thu, 09 Jul 2009 13:26:13 +0000 http://underhishand.com/?p=4085#comment-37060 Hi, I know I'm late to the party on this one-- But I've been quietly reading your website and I really like it a lot. You are one of the few blogs I've seen that really captures the true dynamic of a 24/7 relationship. Thank you for all that you write and share. I am 21 years old and had my son when I was 18. Everything that your daughter is (was?) feeling, I can totally share in. I hope the birth and all goes well. I was 125 lbs before I had my son and popped all the way up to 180 by the time I was 9 months along. (He was born on July 3rd! :) ) It took 2 years, but I am finally heading down towards my pre-baby weight. It's hard, but she'll be amazed at how quickly it drops off soon after birth. And I did all that research that she's been and you're right; it didn't mean shit once water broke and the party began! Again, thank you for sharing your blog and I hope your daughter's birth goes safely and semi-painlessly. :) Hi,

I know I’m late to the party on this one–

But I’ve been quietly reading your website and I really like it a lot. You are one of the few blogs I’ve seen that really captures the true dynamic of a 24/7 relationship. Thank you for all that you write and share.

I am 21 years old and had my son when I was 18. Everything that your daughter is (was?) feeling, I can totally share in. I hope the birth and all goes well. I was 125 lbs before I had my son and popped all the way up to 180 by the time I was 9 months along. (He was born on July 3rd! :) )

It took 2 years, but I am finally heading down towards my pre-baby weight. It’s hard, but she’ll be amazed at how quickly it drops off soon after birth. And I did all that research that she’s been and you’re right; it didn’t mean shit once water broke and the party began!

Again, thank you for sharing your blog and I hope your daughter’s birth goes safely and semi-painlessly.

:)

]]> By: the_maid http://underhishand.com/ready-or-not#comment-36800 the_maid Fri, 26 Jun 2009 23:42:57 +0000 http://underhishand.com/?p=4085#comment-36800 so many of your concerns and worries mirror my own with my new grandbabies. because the mom of the twin boys had no father (my son, the father died) i wanted to help her out as much as possible. i wanted to do the boring things like cooking and washing so she could have time to bond with her baby boys. (i never felt i had time with my own babies) but it didnt really work out that way. i ended up in the mom roll and she ended up still being a teenager. but there is just overwhelming amounts of work to be done with twins , there was time to disect what was going on. somehow it seems more than twice of one baby? we never came to blows but i knew it was unhealthy. she didnt seem to act like they were her babies at all. so after 6 wks in NICU and 6 wks in my house, she moved out on her own. This is when she really began to grow up and bond with the boys. Im very proud of how she has taken on the huge role of mommy of twin boys. now i get to be granny and get lots of time with them. all in all its so much healthier, but in the early days we were just swimming to get by and we made it. You DONT forget how to take care of babies. it must some genetic programming or something. itll be ok! so many of your concerns and worries mirror my own with my new grandbabies. because the mom of the twin boys had no father (my son, the father died) i wanted to help her out as much as possible. i wanted to do the boring things like cooking and washing so she could have time to bond with her baby boys. (i never felt i had time with my own babies)
but it didnt really work out that way. i ended up in the mom roll and she ended up still being a teenager. but there is just overwhelming amounts of work to be done with twins , there was time to disect what was going on. somehow it seems more than twice of one baby? we never came to blows but i knew it was unhealthy. she didnt seem to act like they were her babies at all. so after 6 wks in NICU and 6 wks in my house, she moved out on her own. This is when she really began to grow up and bond with the boys. Im very proud of how she has taken on the huge role of mommy of twin boys.
now i get to be granny and get lots of time with them. all in all its so much healthier, but in the early days we were just swimming to get by and we made it.
You DONT forget how to take care of babies. it must some genetic programming or something.
itll be ok!

]]> By: rheya http://underhishand.com/ready-or-not#comment-36796 rheya Fri, 26 Jun 2009 22:33:10 +0000 http://underhishand.com/?p=4085#comment-36796 First off I don't think anyone who has ever been responsible for a child will "forget" how. And while I may not have children of my own, I had a hand in raising my oldest niece and nephew and of course, the youngest and some of those in between. Poor Jes. I can imagine how she feels because even at my advanced age *I'm* not ready for children. At least she seems to be gaining a little insight. Take care of yourself. Because if you don't take care of YOU, you won't be able to take care of her. Hang in there. First off I don’t think anyone who has ever been responsible for a child will “forget” how. And while I may not have children of my own, I had a hand in raising my oldest niece and nephew and of course, the youngest and some of those in between.

Poor Jes. I can imagine how she feels because even at my advanced age *I’m* not ready for children. At least she seems to be gaining a little insight.

Take care of yourself. Because if you don’t take care of YOU, you won’t be able to take care of her. Hang in there.

]]> By: kittencunt http://underhishand.com/ready-or-not#comment-36792 kittencunt Fri, 26 Jun 2009 19:54:46 +0000 http://underhishand.com/?p=4085#comment-36792 I know right! I want a perma womb.. so warm and cozy. I know right! I want a perma womb.. so warm and cozy.

]]> By: sin http://underhishand.com/ready-or-not#comment-36790 sin Fri, 26 Jun 2009 19:32:07 +0000 http://underhishand.com/?p=4085#comment-36790 hey that sounds awesome! Icing for breakfast and naked all day. Who wouldn't love that? sin hey that sounds awesome! Icing for breakfast and naked all day. Who wouldn’t love that?
sin

]]> By: kittencunt http://underhishand.com/ready-or-not#comment-36788 kittencunt Fri, 26 Jun 2009 19:19:30 +0000 http://underhishand.com/?p=4085#comment-36788 Oh! Just thought of a funny story that might make you giggle. My friend had a baby girl about 4 years ago, and after about 6 months started to work for her mom & step dad and her mom watched the baby. After 2 years of that, she stopped working and became a sahm. And found out just how spoiled her daughter had gotten by hanging out with grandma all day, everyday. Whatever she wanted, she got. Icing for breakfast. Naked all day. Nothing but movies and sugar and playing. So now grandma is limited to one day a week to have the child. All this to say, grandma has a hilarious nickname now. "Perma-womb" lol! Don't be a perma womb and you'll be fine! Oh! Just thought of a funny story that might make you giggle. My friend had a baby girl about 4 years ago, and after about 6 months started to work for her mom & step dad and her mom watched the baby. After 2 years of that, she stopped working and became a sahm. And found out just how spoiled her daughter had gotten by hanging out with grandma all day, everyday. Whatever she wanted, she got. Icing for breakfast. Naked all day. Nothing but movies and sugar and playing. So now grandma is limited to one day a week to have the child. All this to say, grandma has a hilarious nickname now. “Perma-womb” lol!

Don’t be a perma womb and you’ll be fine!

]]> By: dweaver999 http://underhishand.com/ready-or-not#comment-36786 dweaver999 Fri, 26 Jun 2009 18:13:29 +0000 http://underhishand.com/?p=4085#comment-36786 Kaya, You'll respect those boundries better than your mom because your weren't respected. The desire to "not be like so and so" is a powerful motivator. I've lived with my roommates through two childbirths and even being a simple unrelated uncle Dave can be hard on the boundry thing. You can do this, as can Jes. You might want to let Jes know your struggles, and enlist her help in keeping those boundries in place, assuming you think she's up to that. Dave Kaya,

You’ll respect those boundries better than your mom because your weren’t respected. The desire to “not be like so and so” is a powerful motivator. I’ve lived with my roommates through two childbirths and even being a simple unrelated uncle Dave can be hard on the boundry thing. You can do this, as can Jes. You might want to let Jes know your struggles, and enlist her help in keeping those boundries in place, assuming you think she’s up to that.

Dave

]]> By: Auntie Bluebelle http://underhishand.com/ready-or-not#comment-36785 Auntie Bluebelle Fri, 26 Jun 2009 17:53:10 +0000 http://underhishand.com/?p=4085#comment-36785 It's taken me 20 minutes to read the comment, seeing how I have to keep getting up to tend the Beastie. I feel pretty confident in saying yes, you will get attached ... but you will count your blessings time and again she isn't yours. They are exhausting and interfering, no matter how much you love them. I'd chew off my own arm to save Jonathan, but man, some days I wish I could hand him back to someone. Any one. Just for fifteen minutes. Like now, because I have a ton to say, but he's demanding my attention (by trying to destroy my printer. Oh wait, now he's going to unplug the cable ...) All the love in the world to you both. You'll both do fine. :-* It’s taken me 20 minutes to read the comment, seeing how I have to keep getting up to tend the Beastie.

I feel pretty confident in saying yes, you will get attached … but you will count your blessings time and again she isn’t yours. They are exhausting and interfering, no matter how much you love them. I’d chew off my own arm to save Jonathan, but man, some days I wish I could hand him back to someone. Any one. Just for fifteen minutes.

Like now, because I have a ton to say, but he’s demanding my attention (by trying to destroy my printer. Oh wait, now he’s going to unplug the cable …)

All the love in the world to you both. You’ll both do fine.

:-*

]]> By: HisShadow http://underhishand.com/ready-or-not#comment-36784 HisShadow Fri, 26 Jun 2009 17:46:02 +0000 http://underhishand.com/?p=4085#comment-36784 Unfortunately, distance is not always a guaranteed boundary maker. My brother and sister-in-law have had to deal with BOTH my mother AND my grandmother trying to interfere and take over from them since the day my nephew was born. I hate watching it. It's already causing huge issues in his behavior and it's only likely to get worse as he gets older. The only thing I can tell you is consistancy. With you being that close to them, being an active part of the process of raising and (as the baby gets older) disciplining, you can't afford to be the "spoiler," at least...not until she moves out and you're not an integral part of child care. That's my brothers problem is that they both watch the little guy so that he doesn't go to daycare. With all of those people watching him though, all (except his parents) wanting to spoil him rotten...the poor kids getting confused! Unfortunately, distance is not always a guaranteed boundary maker. My brother and sister-in-law have had to deal with BOTH my mother AND my grandmother trying to interfere and take over from them since the day my nephew was born. I hate watching it. It’s already causing huge issues in his behavior and it’s only likely to get worse as he gets older.

The only thing I can tell you is consistancy. With you being that close to them, being an active part of the process of raising and (as the baby gets older) disciplining, you can’t afford to be the “spoiler,” at least…not until she moves out and you’re not an integral part of child care. That’s my brothers problem is that they both watch the little guy so that he doesn’t go to daycare. With all of those people watching him though, all (except his parents) wanting to spoil him rotten…the poor kids getting confused!

]]> By: HisShadow http://underhishand.com/ready-or-not#comment-36783 HisShadow Fri, 26 Jun 2009 17:39:24 +0000 http://underhishand.com/?p=4085#comment-36783 Oh, I hope she's nursing! Babies who nurse are so much healthier than those who don't. There's even research that shows that they grow up to breath deeper, are able to manipulate objects faster and speak faster and better than bottle babies. Oh, I hope she’s nursing! Babies who nurse are so much healthier than those who don’t. There’s even research that shows that they grow up to breath deeper, are able to manipulate objects faster and speak faster and better than bottle babies.

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