Q&A
Can I borrow your shoes?
This one would be honored to have her slave-sister’s sweaty feet stinking up my shoes.
Or..
Hell NO. Buy yer own, ya shoeless wench.
Pick your own answer. :P
Now, I have a question for you guys.
I was out having coffee with BFF-Jill today and she was wondering, since we’re both kinda new to this friendship thing, if we were “doing it right”.
So that’s my question.
Exactly what it is that you do with your friends?
(stop sniggering at me. I can hear you, you know. I’m completely serious! We don’t know what we’re doing here!)
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Uncategorized | kaya | 
Wednesday March 3rd, 2010 11:46am
Well, that depends on the friend! But in generally, you share life experiences- you talk with each other- about your respective lives, about things that interest you, about things you find funny, about whatever it is that you like to talk about. You support each other, share ideas, and give reality checks when necessary.
You spend time together. That might be time drinking coffee, it might be time out shopping, it might be watching movies, it might be doing crafts, it might be one of you hanging out and chatting while the other cleans their house, it might be shopping for sex toys, there are just so many possibilities.
As long as you are enjoying each other’s company and continuing to grow in knowing each other, then you’re doing it right!
Hmmm…..sounds normal to go out for coffee. Besides the BDSM-y things Master and i do with certain people *grin* with my other friends, going out for coffee and shopping (window or actual shopping)is what we tend to do most. That and explore San Fran. *shrug* It depends on the people involved…whatever feels right. (the possibilities with that statement are endless huh? lol)
I go out to eat with my friends. That and go to a movie, or, rarely, shopping. Sometimes we go to an event together, like Applefest or Strawberryfest, or a concert or something. Sometimes we just get together and split a bottle of wine and watch something on tv.
[rq=2292265,0,blog][/rq]How life rolls
My friends and I drink and talk and pick on M. I don’t get to go out with them, so I dunno if y’all are doing the “go out together” thing right. :P
[rq=2292331,1,blog][/rq]Oh! And it’s March again! That means…
my BFF is vanilla. Very vanilla. We talk daily, text daily. And are there for each other. We also work together so yes we basically spend all day together. But if she needs to get a coffee, or chocolate or cry or vent or just get out of the office – that is what we do.
Same for me.
Being someones friend means being there for them and vise versa.
NOW, if my BFF was kinky, we could go get coffee AFTER she spanked me. LOL just saying.
I do different things with different friends depending on a common interst.
A few things that are similar in each friendship. Hanging out together just talking be it at a coffee shop, at home or over the phone. Helping each other out with things be it moving from one apartment to a new house. Listening when an ear or shoulder is needed. Going shopping together. Going to a movie, play, concert together. Going to the gym or for a run or walk together.
Are you enjoying each other’s company?
[rq=2292350,0,blog][/rq]Protected: Working to stay focused
Do what ever you like doing. I’m an artsy-fartsy kinda girl so I have friends who do crafts with me. I have other friends who go to actual museums and stuff. I have a friend that the only time I actually see her in person is the ren faire each year. Go to coffee and talk. Walk the dogs together, play “world of Warcraft”, watch chick flicks. Find something you both enjoy doing individually, and do it together. Does Jill like thrift stores? Coffee and bargain hunting…sounds like the perfect girl date. :-)
Not argue? -cluelesssss-
[rq=2292731,0,blog][/rq]
Um, with my friends.. I only have like 4 of them and they’re all artists like me so we get together at someone’s house and talk about what we’re working on or just have artsy fartsy artists days where we shop for art supplies and then come back and use them and share techniques.
My very best friend is an artist and a 57year old dominant who’s been in her D/s sitch with the same partner for 33 years… as in since before I was born. She and I go antiquing together, go to art galleries together, shop together, nap on her giant sofa, have lunch at places her boi and D don’t like, (D & her boi are best friends..) And we share everything, talk about everything, we’re just friends.
We are both pretty isolating/isolated so we’re not good at friendships either. we have rocky ups and downs as we learn. D. and I are seriously thinking about buying a house on their street…
[rq=2293236,0,blog][/rq]Hello, March… Ask me Anything
I punch them in the arm and laugh manically because they can’t hit me back. I shout at them about how disgusting they are. I have to patiently explain very basic things about women. I cook for them. They movie furniture for me. We go see movies and I try to hide when they start laughing at horrific violence. (Most of my closest friends are male, so I guess that doesn’t count…)
With my best girl friend, we do whatever we both enjoy doing. In nice weather, we’ll grab blankets and go read/gossip in the park or on the beach. We’ll go to nearby towns for art festivals, drag shows, shopping. We’ll make meals together, watch movies, go out to lunch, etc.
The most important thing, though, has always been just keeping up with each other’s lives, and caring about the outcome of each other’s endeavors. Kind of like with bloggers. The ones you like, you follow them. You devour and remember little details about their lives, their preferences, their motivations and desires. You create a catalog of everything that is that person, and keep it safe in your head. You make decisions – about what to do together, about gifts to give, about advice to give, etc. based on knowing that person.
Also, you gossip about things your Men want GODDAMN NOTHING to do with. As much as this will shock everyone to hear, there are actually things that come out of my precious mouth that do NOT induce a state of rapt attention in Antonio.
I know, shocking, right? He’s clearly insane.
BUT… Anne will listen. She’ll care. We can talk for two hours about something that would cause Antonio to zone out and then tell me to shut up after about thirty seconds.
She lives about 50 minutes away from me… We talk/text several times a week and see each other usually once every week and a half or two weeks. We’ve known each other for 15 years (since she was 11 and I was 12), we lived together for a few years at college, and a year after college… We’re just compatible people. We like each other’s company. :)
~Chloe
[rq=2293367,0,blog][/rq]I have a request…
I see my best friend about four hours once a year so take this with a grain of salt.
We talk, covering all the family news, particularly all our troubles with loved ones that we can not say to anyone else (especially said loved ones).
We bemoan the aging process and compare our declines…
Then we bitch about the state of the world, which can be interesting since he is oh so right and I so left at least relatively speaking…
We usually then take a spin down forty year old memories of our early days together, and then it’s time to return to the rat race.
I think friendship is like BDSM, anyone who tells you there is a “right way” implying a “wrong way” is full of shit. You do what gives you each something from the relationship. What that will be depends on the people involved and will be different with different people and even at different times with the same person.
Main thing is to be comfortable and the encounter of positive mutual benefit, so the friendship deepens and evolves to suit the people in it.
PS I would lend you my shoes (size 16) but it is about three months too early to be thinking of putting planters out on the deck in Upper Michigan.
i complain about Alderon *winks*. i vent, i feel better, and then i’m happy again. *grins*
[rq=2294207,0,blog][/rq]Coming together
I think friendship is like BDSM, like life in general…everyone is different, every relationship is unique and we all do it our own ways. No right or wrong per se, just whatever works for the two of you. Best of luck.
[rq=2294888,0,blog][/rq]The Flight Attendants
You crack me up…in a sort of too-close-to-home way.
I’ve really got no idea about the friendship thing either. I’m not sure whether a friendship can be sustained without phonecalls (I hate the phone and never use it) or how long it’s okay to not reply to someone’s text/e-mail for and still be a friend.
Obviously I’m a bit fuzzy on these things because I don’t have many friend-friends. I also haven’t spoken to or contacted in anyway shape or form my best friend for six months. Is that bad? See, I just don’t know the friendship rules either.
[rq=2295969,0,blog][/rq]New quirk
If you want to borrow each others shoes then that is ok with you. If you like what you are doing and enjoys each others company you are doing it right.
If anyone objects they are wrong.
[rq=2298444,0,blog][/rq]The collar of magic
I told her we were doing it right and we so are!
Thanks guys. :)
I work third shift, so my schedule doesn’t fit with most others. Anyone for coffee at midnight? :)
Seriously I don’t seem to have any friends by these definitions. When I have had a friend in the past it seems that the time it takes away from getting things done so I’m available for Sir gets in the way.
Glad you’re “doing it right” lol :D
You know if it were up to me, I’d do coffee at midnight. I think that would be fun. Isn’t Perkins open all night anyway?!
I think, what you said about taking time away from our Sirs is why we were questioning doing it right. Though it was mostly in jest, the fact is that we don’t talk often, we don’t chat on the phone or go shopping or gossip or.. whatever. Just every now and then it works out. She was off that day and Mah Man was out of town. We jumped on it. But I still think we are doing it right. *nods*
Also… I serve coffee. Just sayin’. ;-)
I have rarely had female friends so I have the same question pop up in my mind. I sometimes don’t know what to do, or if I might overstep some unspoken boundary, thus losing my friend. That would suck. But what I have found from my relatively small experience, is that if it works between you two, that is all that matters.
De-lurking to say – my BFF (who’s also a switchy-toppy kind of girl) was recently going on and on about trying cuntbusting on me. So, yanno? Friendship is really whatever flips your boat. Or busts your cunt. Whichever :P
Right. Going back into lurking mode now.