Proof.
Reiterating my own words.
I realize not ALL women have pms.
Do I really think pms is the sole reason not to have a female president? No.
I also know that other countries have had female leaders and it’s been fine.
my main reason for not wanting a woman president is pretty simple, and entirely personal and completely based upon my own opinion, how I see the world,
Nor am I submissive because I think all women should be submissive, or because the bible said so, or because I think women are weak and/or stupid.
But I DO see men as powerful. I am subservient to men in general because they represent – *to me* – superiority. Strength. Control. Power.
It’s my opinion that men are leaders
Which is not to say that women *can’t* be.
you asked my opinion on something
In MY mind, in my world,
would *I* want a woman as the president?No.
And, from a week or two ago, on the issue of my daughters:
They do not think that all women should let the husband rule the roost. Not at all. And they have questioned why I don’t challenge him. I simply explain it as this is how I choose to live and that it makes me happy. That they can decide for themselves what type of relationship they want to have when they are adults. I can tell you that Am will probably not be a subservient female. She has gotten offended on my behalf a time or two and it’s taken several times for me to stand up to *her* about my choices. She’s made her peace with it now and only says that she’ll never want what I do. I tell her she doesn’t have to have it, that’s the beauty of having choices. (and thank you, dara, for posting this. A bunch.)
So here’s the thing. I was asked my opinion and I gave it. Now, I know that what I think isn’t rational, nor is it based on any proof that women aren’t capable of positions of power. I know lots of women do exceptional jobs.
But I wasn’t asked that question, was I? I answered a question based on how something makes me feel. Where I find my safety, my feelings of security, where I sense power. That’s simply what my preference is. That hardly makes me a misogynist. Having a preference does not equate to hating the other. I love chocolate, but I prefer vanilla ice cream. Does that mean I hate chocolate ice cream? Um, no.
I love women, but I prefer men in roles of leadership. I do not HATE women. Seriously. And you allude that I’m the ignorant one?
I also know my opinion is not a popular one, and it shouldn’t be. But it is mine and I’m not going to lie merely because my truth isn’t well received. The good thing is- I’m nothing, nobody. What I think has zero weight. I don’t vote, I don’t campaign, I’m not out trying to convert anyone to Female Submission. The world will carry on regardless of my unpopular preference of a male president over a female president.
To answer another question, given the option I would indeed choose a male doctor over a female doctor. I’d choose a male police officer over a female one, I’d choose a male lawyer, a male soldier, a male whatever. Because men make me feel safe. But times when I’ve had a female doctor, I’ve not left the exam room feeling that I wasn’t cared for properly. I do not think women are incapable of doing the job, whatever it is. But one gender brings up an immediate feeling of confidence and security, and one does not. Given a choice to feel safe or to feel nothing, I choose safety.
Also. I never once made the claim that Master sees women as inferior. Never did those words leave my mouth. He works with women, he reports to women, and he has zero issue with it. Does he find women of power attractive? Probably. His attraction to me initially was based on my masochism. At the time I *was* independent and strong and he found me highly attractive. Don’t project my opinion as his. He may or may not have any qualms whatsoever about a female president.
To be honest, the emotional, angry, insulting reaction I’ve gotten from the mostly female readers here is just further proof for me. I’m not at all surprised that you all reacted the way you did.
I’m a little surprised at how many agreed with me though. And grateful. Not grateful that you agree, but that you spoke up truthfully about a topic that tends to get dicey and heated. Thank you.
Edit: 3-31-08
I just want to point out that some of you (not all! NOT ALL! make sure I repeat that a hundred times or so. SOME of you) are acting *exactly* like I would expect a woman to act. You claim to not be precisely what you are proving yourself to be.
And who am I? Nothing. Nobody. Yet you’re ready to rip my head off for having an opposing opinion. What would you do if it were another country’s leader telling you to shut the fuck up and get back in the kitchen where you belong? Would you become so angry and irrational that you’d shoot him? What about when the media and newspapers and other countries and blogs and magazines start ripping you to shreds over unpopular decisions, like they do to every other president. A subject of intense hatred, the topic of rude jokes.. I mean, Christ, you’re proving that women can’t handle a stupid little nothing journal post in a rational, calm manner yet proclaiming they can run the country just fine. Yeah.. right.
LikeTags: opinions
Uncategorized | kaya | 
Sunday March 30th, 2008 9:05am
From Me
“”His attraction to me initially was based on my masochism. At the time I *was* independent and strong and he found me highly attractive. “”
Just to set the record straight…I still find her very and highly attractive.
S
And this was the Only comment worth reading.
love to you both
~twisted
Just out of curiousity and being that it’s still March and all…
I believe that the making of you into a ‘non-independent woman’ was your Master’s choice and that he took deliberate steps to make it that way.
So if you feel that he was attracted to you by your strength and independence, does the loss of that not change how you view yourself?
And just to throw in my two cents worth of psychological drivel….
You also seem to feel that your Master’s main attraction to you was your masochistic side. Therefore, if you’re not able to ‘express’ that side of you on a regular basis, I’m guessing that you don’t feel ‘attractive’ to him anymore. Although you say that you have a relationship built on love and that your marriage would outstrip any of the M/s stuff, I still think that you ‘know’ deep down inside that the masochisim was what first attracted him to you and that without that, you feel like nothing else matters or works.
No answers here, just telling how I see things from this side of the screen (^v^)
k
I read your post and then comments this morning and took a good think on whether to reply or not. I decided against, thinking my comment would be lost in a sea of comments..
Well done for writing this post, especially as it seems you have more important things on your plate right now. Though it is rather a shame that people read your blog but don’t really *read* it.
Be proud, stick to your guns and don’t ever change.
HotChick
“it is rather a shame that people read your blog but don’t really *read* it.”
Sometimes I’ve wondered if they’ve read any of the words at all. ;)
Thank you.
In the previous post on this subject, one of the last comments, made by “lolalane” stated
“It’s just hard to think that there are people, men and women alike, that will stand in the way of progress, of the potential for change, simply because someone has a cunt.”
If you think the difference between men and women are as simply as “one has a cunt”…that there are no emotional, physcological, or physiological differences between the two that affect the decision making process; then you are not well informed.
Not that one is better or smarter, but both have different strengths for sure.
It is also my opinion, being the submissive that I am, that I would much much much rather have a male president, or as you said kaya, a male “anything” when it comes to a power position
I loved how you expressed this. “Not that one is better or smarter, but both have different strengths for sure.” I believe statements were made to twist ‘different’ into ‘superior’ and find that, well, just plain sad. Thanks for expressing it the way it was meant to be read.
I was amused with the statements about women still ‘struggling’ for equality. The only struggling I do is trying to handle working 50 hours a week (because, afterall, I’ve EARNED the right to be treated equally at work), while still being an involved, caring, nurturing mother at home. I do beieve I should have been born during the times of June Cleaver.
you have absolutely earned the right to be treated as an equal at work.
I completely agree with thinking you should have been born in a different time. I often feel that way.
Actually, I’d like to be treated as a working mother – with special ‘considerations’ rather than equal to the men LOL. Then maybe I could work less hours.
lol; for sure.
I am “still” a confirmed feminist. I have waited all my adult life for this time — when a qualified and capable woman would be seriously considered for the highest office in this nation. I absolutely believe that it is about time. And the really sad thing for me is — I don’t like Hilary Clinton, and am desperately hoping she does not get the nomination. It isn’t about her gender for me. It is about her character and her strength in the face of what I see as harmful positions and directions that have been taken by the so called “leadership” of this country for way too long. That is my political view.
My lifestyle doesn’t change my political view, and my politics don’t define or dictate my lifestyle. I believe that every single human person should have all the same legal rights and choices within our society as any other. That means that no matter what your race, or gender, or social status, or financial standing, or sexual identity, or religious point of view, you ought to have the same legally protected opportunities as the next person and the next.
I have a daughter and I have grand-daughters. I want for them ALL of the things that I battled for in my activist, feminist “youth.” I believed then, and I still do that it is good for my daughter and my son, to stand on the same ground when it comes to the choices that life offers them. I am glad that they are able to witness this historic moment.
Those are my beliefs and my views.
swan
” I believe that every single human person should have all the same legal rights and choices within our society as any other. That means that no matter what your race, or gender, or social status, or financial standing, or sexual identity, or religious point of view, you ought to have the same legally protected opportunities as the next person and the next.”
And I agree with every single word of this. I don’t see why the two opinions of mine are mutually exclusive. *shrug*
I can totally understand what you mean. Just because I believe that each person should be given the same freedoms and rights, doesn’t change the fact that I ALSO believe that they alone have the right to give them away, for awhile or forever, to whomever they want!! But I also believe that if you give them away “forever” that it is just that and take-backs are not allowed. Probably why I have such a hard time giving up my rights :)
oh well, to each his/her own
“I don’t see why the two opinions of mine are mutually exclusive.”
I don’t think they are. You have the absolute right to choose the life that you are leading. Me too.
I don’t think I agree with your perspective on the relative “natures” of men and women. But if we got down to “arguing” the question, all we’d do is throw up dueling anectdotes, so I don’t see any point.
Truthfully, I don’t really care how you see this. Your opinion is as valid as the next person’s. I’ll surely give you credit for creating an energetic discussion.
Honestly, the fact that it was your opinion and only your opinion came across perfectly fine to me. I may not necessarily agree with you, but hell, I’m Canadian so I can’t vote in the States anyways. =p
(Though I do disagree with Kim Campbell being cited as Canada electing a female Prime Minister–we only sort of elected her, on account of her predecessor resigning and her winning the leadership race, and she was only in power for four months, so personally I would consider her a failure. =p)
It is your opinion, and you are more than welcome to it.
I didn’t comment before because it really got my back up, though. I do believe men and women are different. I don’t, however, believe women are somehow less capable or less useful than men, or that having PMS makes me any less able to be a leader than men are.
It’s your opinion, nothing I say is going to change it. I think you’re wrong and that your opinion is shared by enough people that it makes me being a woman owning my own business that much harder because people do believe I am unstable, less safe and less competent than a man in my position. THAT pisses me off. It pisses me off because I have to work harder and longer just to convince people that I’m not some sort of trainwreck because I have ovaries.
Luckily, my business partner (and husband) reinforces with our overly misogynistic customers and clients that I am the expert on my stuff. We’ve had clients demand that he be on every phone call for my side of the business — and he spends the entire call answering the questions directed at him with “bisky is really the expert on that, you’ll have to ask her.” Then we charge them double as they insisted on both of us being there. It’s a small thing, and it really doesn’t make me any less pissed off, but it’s there.
I think the whole bit about “a woman with PMS with access to nuclear weapons” is fucking insulting and annoying, though. HATE IT. First off, statistically she doesn’t have PMS any longer. Secondly, it’s reinforcing the sterotype that women with PMS are completely unstable and must be treated special. Me? I get (or got, birth control is a wonderful thing) PMS that made me decide the world hated me, I sucked and I should just go crawl into a hole and die. But, y’know what? I managed to get my work done and acknowledge those were my *FEELINGS* without letting them affect my actions.
Anyway, I wasn’t going to post because they are your opinions and you are entitled to them. I am very glad men make you safe, everyone needs someone to make them feel safe. I really wish you wouldn’t dismiss all the rest of us women, though, as useless bags of protoplasm that have no right to do anything but be cunts.
Just my opinion.
“I really wish you wouldn’t dismiss all the rest of us women, though, as useless bags of protoplasm that have no right to do anything but be cunts.”
And where did I say that? Geez.
As I tried to explain in my post, people who have said the exact same things as you did and held the same feelings you do (men make me feel safe, women in leadership positions are icky, etc) have used that reasoning to dismiss women as a whole. They are the ones that have made it more difficult for those of us who don’t get our cranks turned by being submissive.
It’s not that you said it, it’s that what you said has been said by others. If that’s not what you meant, that’s your business. But your statements made me feel like you were dismissing me, and other women, who want something different than you want.
As I said in another comment – You’re not going to change my opinion, nor am I going to change yours (nor do I WANT to).. so now what? Should we meet at sundown on Main Street? I mean seriously.
It’s all wasted energy that you’re sending my way. Direct it at the people who actually have the power and the clout to do something about it.
well said! Women are equal to men in all ways and I fear what Tess’s daughters will need to go through because of their Mother’s choices and what she’s taught them. Scary to know that a Mother of girls could think this way.
oh no no, don’t put that on me.
I actually believe that Kaya’s kids are being well taught to make their own decisions and follow their own hearts. And if they’re not, I don’t think it matters. We are not forced into any mold by our parents and you can break out of what you were taught (it’s hard, very hard, but it can be done — I did it).
of course you’re anonymous, and of course you are generalizing.
To begin with, women are not equal to men in ALL ways. Whether your submissive or not, just in the physical make up along you are wrong. People like you always confuse equality with worth. Women have far better nurturing skills as a gender; not equal to a mans. Every thing doesn’t have to be equal all the time; it’s impossible for it to be. We aren’t the same, so we can’t be equal. An apple is not equal to an orange. A dog is not equal to a cat. Broccoli is not equal to carrots. Neither are better than the other, they just aren’t equal. That word always sends people in a tailspin.
Oh, and it’s ignorant and petty of you to insult someones parenting because you don’t agree with their opinion. It’s so…female….of you.
*snicker*
:::wiping up my coffee spew:::
is it just me or was that totally demeaning??? ive been reading back on all this (thank you google reader) and i just wanted to slap the fuck outta the anonymous person for their narrow minded judgemental drivel.
i am submissive, i dont want a female president, i dont force my daughter to be like me and think my way and i feed her desire to grow, read, learn and be her own person.
long live the strong female mind.. whether its encased in a submissive body or not.
here, here!
OMG….the nerve of some people’s children.
My mother would be mortified to know that I am submissive and WANT to be that way. She is very much a believer in never relying on a man to a point that you can’t just walk away. “have your own money, hide it if you have to, make your own decisions”……and on and on. The one time I even slightly let on that I was not in charge she burst into tears and told me to be careful and how scared she was for me. Now she wonders why we aren’t closer.
Props to Kay-a for being open to her daughters choices. She lives her own life and is open enough to NOT tell her children HOW to live their lives. That is a truly healthy parenting attitude.
::stepping off my soapbox::
I think that, while you’re acknowledging the point, you’re completely missing it. kaya’s never once said women are useless. She hasn’t said they *can’t* be in power. And she never meant to offend anyone’s feminist sensibilities. Perhaps you shouldn’t take people’s opinions so personally. Generally speaking, they have nothing to do with you.
As for your clients… well, it’s my experience that when people latch on to one business partner over the other it rarely has anything to do with gender, even if the person is chauvinistic. It’s usually because of stronger positive qualities in that person, such as confidence, knowing their stuff, taking charge, etc.
She didn’t say women can’t be in power. But what she is saying is the exact same thing said by people who do think women can’t be in power. Her reasoning is the very same as theirs.
And, yeah, those opinions are going to upset people. Like I said, I ignored it the first time, refused to even read the comments because her opinion did offend and upset me.
Then that’s your fault for allowing the opinion of a perfect stranger to become a personal problem for you. Not hers for stating it in her very own space made just for her.
Gosh! Talk about generalizing.
Her reasoning is the very same as theirs.
Really? Wow. She did word it similar to how I would have worded it, had the question been posed to me. But I’m not sure I would say it is the “very same” as mine.
I have to ask, is it a female trait to continue to read even if you’re offended and upset? Or is a masochistic trait? Hmmm.
lol!
I’ve chosen to stay out of this debate(mostly because of the ridiculous responses you’ve gotten) but I wanted to say I agree with you wholeheartedly.
“I’ve chosen to stay out of this debate”
But I am sure am glad you got in it! ;-)
More than you know…
…made me decide to dedicate a post to it instead of continuing the war I wanted to wage on her page was the person blaming kaya and people like her (iow, me, though I’m sure the person has no idea who I even am) for the misogynistic males they deal with in their day to day life. She (the commenter) said that if it wasn’t for people like us she wouldn’t have to constantly deal with people choosing to deal with her husband…
*grin*
I didn’t comment there because it says comments from registered users only. BUT…BEAUTIFULLY written post. I found myself nodding, smiling, and just simply agreeing throughout.
Thank you for saying so clearly what so many have struggled to put into words.
Blush
Yeah… I’ve been trying to get Master to find a way to make it so unregistered users can comment but the last time we did that we got spammed… a LOT… and He had a hard time finding a way to stop it. User comments only seemed like the best way at the time. I keep explaining to Him that I’m pretty sure the registering and logging in thing is one of the things deterring people from commenting. Maybe I can point Him to this and change His mind.
HOWEVER! Anyone can register completely free and rather easily and we don’t email you or give out your email or anything unless you tell us to (i.e. clicking the notify button or whatever). Ew and now I feel icky for plugging myself on kaya’s page :/
In any case… Thanks :)
Plug away! I don’t mind at all.
I think you might be right, too, with your suspicions of the “difficulty” of having to register and sign in for the comments. The internet has created a sense of ‘now-ism’ where people aren’t willing to put forth the effort (sometimes) of having to do all that “work” just to leave a comment. I know I do it myself, all the time. Even something as simple as having to log in a name seems to take up time that I don’t seem to have! And I know it’s just a few seconds, literally, but it’s true.
Though I also understand why people moderate comments. I mean, seriously, look around…lol. I’m also too fucking lazy to moderate, nor do I really care if someone wants to make an ass of themselves in my comments. No skin off my nose, yanno?
There are spam catchers, too. I was getting flooded there for a while with spam until my webslut put in some sort of spam blocker. Now I maybe get one a week, if that. I don’t know what you use (wordpress or whatever?) but surely there is a program that would help you with the spam.
I vote for no registering! (and we know how much weight my vote carries, right!?)
::Nod::
I was being lazy. Well. And late for work.
I’ll go back and register, as I have found (just with Kaya’s blog) I really enjoy reading what you have to say.
Thank you!
Blush
oh… lol i didn’t mean to sound pushy just was saying… anyway, thanks :) i appreciate it!
Maybe your webslut and my webSl… er Master! I was gonna say webMaster! Honest! :P should put their heads together over our spam problem! *grin* Cause i’m sure dara wants to help a total stranger out *snicker* If we are total strangers… i’ve known quite a few daras in my day :P
(kidding)
I don’t know if you’ll see this or not, but I’ve told kaya to send you my email address (in case she’s slacking). Or you can just scroll to the bottom of any page on this site and find the email. *grin*
I welcome a challenge, even if it’s from a stranger. *snicker* Keeps me on my toes, yanno?
Oh, hi! LOL
Oh… and does it irritate anyone else that when someone’s asked for their opinion and they give it they’re basically attacked by the masses who can’t seem to understand that opinions are like ass holes? (Everyone’s got one and they usually stink.)
Yes! ;)
I think that basically we’ve had a bunch of people state their opinions, not so much that people have bashed each other. Many don’t agree with each other, and that’s where the tension lies. Ultimately though, Kaya did express her opinion as HER opinion. I personally disagree with her opinion and I think it’s a harmful one but we both have the rights to our opinions. We can agree to disagree. Her opinion is her reality. Who am I to dispute her reality? It’s kinda like how I’m an atheist and hold these beliefs firm, but I acknowledge that my beliefs aren’t everyone’s and while I think they’re correct they’re not even necessarily the RIGHT beliefs. We’re all human, right about some things, wrong about others. It’s hard to tell who’s truly right and who’s truly wrong. So much of life is grey area.
My dear kaya,
You go on seeing the world however you like it best. You know I got yer back, no matter what!
I think it was in one of Sandra Boynton’ books (you know, the chocolate-loving-comics with all the hippopotomii!) that it was explained that true chocoholics prefer vanilla ice cream — they didn’t want any of that water-down chocolate, thank-you-very-much!
[hug]
~Zille
“that true chocoholics prefer vanilla ice cream — they didn’t want any of that water-down chocolate, ”
Yes! Exactly yes! ;)
i don’t understand why anyone felt that they could agree or disagree with your opinions. You have always stated that your statements were how you feel, they were your opinions, and never once did you infer that everyone should think or feel the way that you do.
My experiences are different than yours, and so are my opinions, but that doesn’t make me right & you wrong. or vice versa.
i’m glad that you continue to stand up for your right to form opinions, and to state them. But most of all, i find your honesty in the way you live your life refreshing.
Happy Spring, Sir’s pet
The disagreeing doesn’t bother me. I know people are going to disagree with me. It’s the way my words are twisted into something I didn’t say or mean that gets my goat. And the way people do seem to think that just because I have open comments that must mean it’s open forum to say whatever rude, insulting thing they think. A blog is not a message board.
But s’okay. I can handle it. ;)
Thank you for your very wonderfully worded disagreement. :D
I think that it is admirable that you are able to express your opinion on such a hot “head” topic as politics, and especially putting yourself in the firing range of attack…. What is that saying – something about dinner table conversation should not be about politics, religion, and ? I forget the last …because people get so riled up if there is a difference of opinion, regardless of whether the opinion was asked for or not…it’s just one of those subjects that’s putting a bullseye target right in your general direction….but you obviously are one tough cookie of a submissive, and definitely not a doormat!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Misogyny
There are many different forms of misogyny. In its most overt expression, a misogynist will openly hate all women simply because they are female. Other forms of misogyny may be less overt. Some misogynists may simply be prejudiced against all women, or may hate women who do not fall into one or more acceptable categories.
Of course any woman has a right to choose a doctor that makes her feel safe, a lawyer she feels comfortable with etc. I’m not sure anyone would have had a problem with statements like that at all. But that is not what I am responding to here. Statements that start with, “I feel that I…” are personal opinions. Statements that start with “Women are (or not)” include me and are seriously offensive to me as a woman and mother of a little woman.
I am assuming that most of us here, me included, are women engaging in lifestyles or sexual practices that many people would find sexist or abusive. I assume we all had to struggle a bit to get what we wanted. I think I was a bit naieve to believe that meant we were all on the same team. for me it was a lot of work to find a realtionship that worked for me and I really hope that I would never do soemthing that would impede the goals of any woman, there are so many obstacles with out women doing that to eachother. Do you see how saying, “I never want any power in my life,” or “I feel more comfortable with male authority figures” is different from saying, “I believe men, not women should be in positions of power?” Do you see how that is more of an insult to others than a statement about personal beliefs?
I get it about liking to feel like a helpless little girl with a big strong manly man, believe me. But that is my personal, not political view. If that was political reality, we’d be living in a Taliban like regime with no choice, no voice. Where slavery isn’t fun at all. There is a world of difference.
But I am not prejudiced against women. I merely, again, stated a preference for where MY feelings of safety and comfort come into play. If that makes me a misogynist in your world, so be it.
“Statements that start with, “I feel that I…” are personal opinions”
And in the sentence you are taking such offense to, I started it with these words “In MY mind, in my world” even emphasizing the “MY mind” part to avoid people seeing it as anything other than MY opinion.
“I think I was a bit naieve to believe that meant we were all on the same team.”
Indeed.
“Do you see how that is more of an insult to others than a statement about personal beliefs?”
No. Because I’m not out telling anyone who believes otherwise that they are wrong. I’m not forcing my *opinion* on anyone as how it should be, or how we should all live. I’m not raising my daughers to believe that they can’t do any damn thing that they want to do, I’m not campaigning to keep women at home, barefoot and pregnant so the Big Manly Man can go out and run the world. I’m doing nothing but answering a question that was asked of me about what my *opinion* was about a female president. The only insult I’m seeing is in people telling me that I’m not entitled to state my opinion because it doesn’t mesh with theirs.
The first time I pretend I don’t have an opinion because it’s not the popular one to hold will be a cold day in hell.
Now be fair. Where did I say you couldn’t express your opinion? I am simply disagreeing with you, and defending myself as one of the women you say, in your world, do not have power.
I did say, and continue to say, that when you say “women are (or not)…” you include me, my daughter etc in your statement. I did not say your statement carried weight, or that your saying it makes true, but I do contine to say that it insults me, and all women which it does. You are applying your personal experience to us, which is not fair.
Had you said “I feel that I am (or not) capable of having power…etc” that is yours to say. Also when you say “I am not comfortable with…” that is again all you. But you overstepped that, several times to make statements about women in general. Since it is apparently not cold in hell today, I can’t let that slide either.
By your logic, would it be fine for someone addressing a group of minorities to say, “In my world, blacks don’t have power, whites do.” Would the audience be considered a bunch of hysterical women if they objected to that by writing letters? Would the speaker be less racist for prefacing the statement with,”in my world?”
btw I don’t claim that you are misogynst or not. I just wanted to be sure we all knew what the word meant; that there there is more to it than delcaring, “I hate women.” Wishing women to be excluded from power as a gender group is prejudice. Again apply the race analogy here and see if it would be acceptable. ie, “I don’t hate blacks, I just, personally, don’t want them in positions of power.” I don’t know anyone who would accept that.
Except why do you feel the need to defend yourself at all? Who is kaya? She’s a slave on a page who has absolutely no say in anything regarding her tiny world in S’s home or our giant world outside of it.
And even if she is prejudiced against women, so what? It’s not like she goes out and beats them up, kills them, rapes them, or any other “hate crime”. She simply feels uncomfortable with them being in power and stated that very clearly, concisely and without emotion. That’s her right as a human being. Just like it’s Jim-Bob Green’s right to feel uncomfortable with someone of color (since there are so many different ones) in a position of power, provided he goes about expressing his feelings in a non-violent way (I am a person of color, in case you were wondering). Hate sucks no matter why the person hates, but that’s how it is. The US (where kaya and her site are based) has yet to take away the freedom of speech.
And I don’t blame her. Matter of fact, I agree with her. Especially after what I’ve witnessed here on this post.
The problem here is not discussing opinions. The problem is people are taking *her* opinion personally. Some stranger on a webpage. Cause, you know… it affects us all so deeply.
Pfft.
yeah, i don’t want a woman president either and i don’t like having women bosses, although my mother and i are very close and she really taught me TONS of things…but then again, she always deferred to my Father on many issues so…
i like women, but women in power just makes me say ‘ICK!’
that’s my story and i’m stickin’ to it.
Amen!!
As I seem to need to defend my earlier comment, kandykaned, I do not feel that having a cunt makes the difference in gender. In fact, I am suggesting otherwise. I am opposed to people differentiating based solely on genitals. As in any statement qualifying a man over a woman for any position of power simply because he has a dick. That opinion does not suggest a caveat for the emotional, physiological or physical differences; it says man over woman. As in: “women are not dominant, men are. Women are not powerful, men are. Women are not authority figures, men are.” Blanket statement. Gender-based. Case closed.
Additionally, for all those who think that voicing their oppositional views is asshole behavior, I have to say, who are you? If one chooses to publish their views in a public form, especially a forum that encourages response, how does one then say that that response was unwarranted? And listing it under the guise of personal opinion is no excuse. This entire forum is personal opinion and I’m not as asshole for expressing my own in return.
She did say it was asshole behaviour she said opinions are like assholes EVERYONE HAS ONE. Good bad or otherwise.
Its also known as trying to lighten the tone.
Please read things people, and digest them before getting on your soap boxes!
To add to what HotChick said…
It’s only ass hole behavior when you respond with disparaging remarks and vehement disapproval. Using your own words against you (though I must admit, I haven’t read your first comment to know specifically that you responded that way to kaya’s – or anyone else’s – opinion), who are you? Who are you to be a jerk when someone else expresses their opinion? It’s fine to say “I disagree.” It’s not fine to flip the fuck out with snide remarks and veiled insults because you disagree.
And for the record, this isn’t a forum. It’s a blog. And a blog is specifically for the author’s opinion. No one else’s unless the author allows it to be. It’s pretty cool that kaya lets us speak our mind here. Even cooler that she continues to do it even though people attack her on a daily basis.
Thank you!
Of course, my dear :) I guess I finally lost my patience :(
And you’re not going to change my opinion, nor am I going to change yours (nor do I WANT to).. so now what? Should we meet at sundown on Main Street? I mean seriously.
There are really important things to get your panties in a twist about. There are a lot of things you can expend your energy on trying to fix and make right. Me and my tiny little opinion that means exactly SQUAT in anyone else’s world is not one of them. All the hostility you are sending my way is wasted. Why bother?
as rayne said, it’s not the fact that you disagree; it’s your arrogant self righteous tone.
Lots of people comment and are friends of kayas that don’t agree with her on every issue; but they use the forum respectfully and don’t try to belittle to make their point.
and there is no “guise” here; and no one called you an asshole, nor would she. Unlike those who often call kaya names and insult her family life, and kids…etc. because they don’t agree with her; she never insults others unless provoked first; she only voices HER opinion in HER blog.
Just for the record kandykaned I agree with everything you have said – ok?
I just can’t understand what these people think they are going to achieve by posting and posting and posting about how kaya’s opinions are BAD. They’re not going to change her, or anyone else who feels that way. Why are they so determined to try?
I have nothing but respect for kaya.
Except we come here to read HER opinion, not yours. No one ASKED you for your opinion, yet you act as if they did.
again you don’t read ruby dear. I didn’t give my opinion to lolalane; I commented on HER post; and as you can see sweetie; no one has to ask when it comes to defending a friend.
I wasn’t responding to you! I was trying to respond to this that lolalane said :
“If one chooses to publish their views in a public form, especially a forum that encourages response, how does one then say that that response was unwarranted? And listing it under the guise of personal opinion is no excuse. This entire forum is personal opinion and I’m not as asshole for expressing my own in return.”
I was trying to tell her that we come here to read kaya’s opinion. Ack! I totally agree with you. I apologize since my comment seemed to have been directed to the wrong person. :-( Don’t hate me.
My sincere apologies, Ruby. My back was up, and I misunderstood.
Once again I apologize.
I understand. No hard feelings.
* self-satisfied grinning *
my reaction to your original post about this was that i disagreed. but i’m also incredibly proud that we live in a society that allows both my opinion and yours. honestly, i don’t read your blog for the political insight, ’cause there’s lots of blogs to read if i wanted that. i read your blog to understand more about *your* life, and that includes *your* perspective about politics on occasion. i’d never, ever, challenge your right to say it in your own damned blog, and i’d never be angry or have an emotional reaction to something i disagreed with.
i’m just a kaya fan. i’m strong enough to have my own opinion and still appreciate yours.
ok i haven’t been around a lot, but i’m struck by this post for several reasons. i’m sure my comments will be lost among the rest, and that’s ok, because sometimes i just need to put it out there.
First, the woman president thing. As i’ve commented to you before (in your LJ which you ganked me from..again :-P lol), i don’t think society is ready for a female president. Not just OUR society. The president is a powerful figurehead that has to deal with societies that see women as inferior, inferior. How can a female be expected to be diplomatic with society that has views where she shouldn’t have an opinion, let alone have her face exposed for other men to see. (it’s got nothing to do with submission really, it is what it is). We may be a progressive as a society, but the world just isn’t ready. Novelty wears off, and the rose-colored glasses will fade when we face the reality.(And no it’s not just because i’m not fond of Hilary)
Men are attracted to certain qualities in women. They sense things that are not in the forefront of our personalities. They see our potential and build on it. They hone the qualities they come to fall in love with us for and bring out the extra qualities they knew were there all along. A good man and a good woman go together like peanut butter and jelly. The just fit, Dominant and submissive or not (or just not realized). People change to fit each other. i’m not the same woman i was when i met my Husband. We’ve adjusted to fit each other, we’ve found and magnified the things we love about each other.
i value your opinions. Attacking someone for their opinions is a show of ignorance. We won’t always agree, but that’s the nice thing about opinions, we’re all entitled to our own and have the freedom to express them (well sorta but you know what i mean).
*super squishy hugs*
~His bits
i haven’t read all the comments here, but i wanted to tell you that i put my thoughts about this up on my journal.
*muah*
What a great post, I had to come out of lurk mode. I think it took balls to put that out there ;). A president isn’t like a dictator, more like a manager. The good ones know how to surround themselves with people who compliment their strengths and weaknesses. The boys do it so a smart girl could figure it out.
It’s all moot anyway since everyone knows that the president is just a figurehead being controlled by evil alien puppeteers bent on world domination. :)
“come out of lurk mode”
that made me laugh outloud !
Yeah I know. Well it just popped out as a way of saying I’m one of those lustful lookers who never says anything. Nevermind going back into lurk mode sounds better!
It always confuses me when I see people who are obviously regular readers of your blog, or who are at the very least very aware of the fact that you are a female slave bound to (owned by? I haven’t been reading here quite long enough to know your preferred terminology) a male Master, and are nevertheless surprised when you espouse that dynamic as your personal preference.
I’m not going to register an opinion here, since I simply don’t feel I have a place to, being neither female nor submissive, I just want to say good for you for sticking to your guns. This is your space, and it’s not anyone else’s place to try and force their opinions on you, especially when yours were solicited and theirs were not.
“especially when yours were solicited and theirs were not”
Oh my God. Thank YOU.
kaya- i have mixed feelings on the overall question of women in a position of leadership over a country. my personal opinion on the matter is that it would more than just the “typical” woman to be successful in an endeavor as such. i think the success would depend greatly on the country as well as their communications with other countries and how “global society” would welcome the woman in question. If this were to occur in the U.S. i cannot help but fear that assassination would be likely at least the first time around.
Never the less that is a bit of insight to my thoughts on the matter; but what i am more compelled to write a response to is the fact that you are getting such an EMOTIONAL reaction from so many women. In my mind this simply gives more weight and proof to the implication that many women are more likely to react emotionally before intellectually. i am curious to actually delve into all the comments and get an idea of what percentage of women reacted with respectful reasoning verses jumping to react with emotion…
~vie
LOVED the edit.
I agree with you on this issue and I felt like ranting away several times the past few days (after reading some of the responses you received) but I decided not to. lol.
Love the edit. You’re right, you know.
Sadly Kaya while I respect your opinion I will just choose to disagree. You think that men are more equipt to handle the country based on the fact that men are more “rational”. Let’s look at the men that are murders and rapists or those that drop their cildren off bridges to prove they are men. What about the men that kill their wives or the next door neighbor because they looked at them wrong? What I am trying to say is that it has nothing to do with gender and all on how a person, male or female handle themselves. Men are just as hot headed or into the macho mes macho bull that leads to bar room brawls as women are apparently pegged as emotional. It is sad to see that you base these stereotypical roles on gender and not the intelligence (or lack there of)of the individual. But as they say to each their own and maybe someday you will have a higher opinion of the ability of women.
yes yes yes! I totally agree.
and to think! I am NOT a woman, but I think it’s so sad that a woman thinks so little of her own the way kaya does. Sad and very twisted! However, I can’t be angry with kaya, this way of thought is all her “master’s” doing. He’s brainwashed her into being nothing more than the “cunt” she even calls herself. Too bad.
::eyeroll::
And of course your comment gets total credibility coming from “Anonymous”
What excuse will you apply to the rest of us who agree with her completely? Hmmm? Let’s see, I wasn’t abused, grew up in a two-parent home, don’t have a Master, and work full-time at a job that most likely earns more in a year than you do in three. I guess I was just born “twisted” also.
You are a coward (anonymous) ; and a disgrace. Shame on you.
and by the way; it’s Master…with a capital M
But I DO see white people as powerful. I am subservient to white people in general because they represent – *to me* – superiority. Strength. Control. Power.
It’s my opinion that white people are leaders
Which is not to say that black people *can’t* be.
would *I* want a black person as the president?No.
So here’s the thing. I was asked my opinion and I gave it. Now, I know that what I think isn’t rational, nor is it based on any proof that black men aren’t capable of positions of power. I know lots of black men do exceptional jobs.
But I wasn’t asked that question, was I? I answered a question based on how something makes me feel. Where I find my safety, my feelings of security, where I sense power. That’s simply what my preference is. That hardly makes me a racist.
Given the option I would indeed choose a white doctor over a black doctor. I’d choose a white police officer over a black one, I’d choose a white lawyer, a white soldier, a white whatever. Because white people make me feel safe.
I just want to point out that some of you (not all! NOT ALL! make sure I repeat that a hundred times or so. SOME of you) are acting *exactly* like I would expect black people to act. You claim to not be precisely what you are proving yourself to be.
Funny how incredibly offensive that sounds, isn’t it?
Yeah it is. Very offensive. Good thing that’s not what I said, huh?
You can’t go plugging words into my sentences and expect me to be ashamed of what I didn’t say. Jesus. Lame.
It’s true. Black people, of course, are equal to white, and it would be wrong to say all those terrible things about them. Unlike those inferior women, who bizarrely believe they are equal to men and should be treated as such, thus proving the truth of all your cheap stereotypes.
Yes exactly. Glad we agree.
So here’s where you aren’t understanding the words I’m using. I did NOT say that all women are inferior based on their genitals. Not once did I say that. Nor did I ever say that women shouldn’t be treated or given the exact same rights as men. Yes, equality. Wonderful. I’m all for it.
What I said, for the one thousandth time, is that FOR MY PERSONAL COMFORT, I prefer male leadership to female leadership. And I fully admit that my opinion is irrational, not based on fact or science or anything else.
The experiences that I’ve had with the women in my life have left me with an inherent and irrational distrust of women as authority figures. So when asked where *I* find my security, it is not with a women at the wheel of *my* life.
If I were a rape victim and had a distrust in men, based purely on that single experience, and admitting that my opinion is skewed and irrational, would I still be insulting all men everywhere? Holy Christ. Read the god damn words people.
You’re rather spectacularly missing the point. If the experience you’ve had in your life left you with “an inherent and irrational distrust” of black people, that would make you a racist. Period. Inherent and irrational distrust of of people of a certain race is racism, even if you have you’ve had some bad experiences with some people of those race. And inherent and irrational distrust of women is misogyny, even if you’ve had bad experience with some women.
It’s clearly not a distinction you’re able to grasp, but hey, I tried.
*eye roll*
I give up. When you are determined to make it what it you want it to be, I can’t change that. Believe what you want, it’s no concern of mine.