A(nother) tip from the kaya-files

Tip #853:

Never…

…ever…

…ever…

…decide to eat spicy General Tso’s chicken when you have a trailer hitch lodged up your ass and you are 30 minutes from home.

EVAR.

Srsly. I coulda put someone’s eye out!

4 people like this post.

Unlike

Done! …maybe.

Babygirl’s Christmas present list.

Dora dollhouse.

3 furniture sets, plus 1 ‘dora’s friends’ set.

Dora’s lights-n-sounds tricycle.

FP Little People school house, bus, and 12 figurines.

Swiper beanie baby

FP Little People wheelie ramp

2 Dora books. Manners and Bedtime.

Monsters, Inc. Figurine pack.

Reasonable? Overboard? Not enough?

I vote not enough.

EDITED:

And.. um.. 2 bags of pink megablocks. (they were on sale, people!)

2 people like this post.

Unlike

Kink-less M/s

I could get behind that way of life.

No pain. No whips. No nipple-tweaking or ass slapping. No tack bras, no skin carvings, no birthday needle buttcakes (my b-day looms ever closer!).

Nothing but he says, I do.

Lots of people aren’t kinky. I suppose one could argue that the M/s itself is a kink, but for the sake of this post let’s keep the kink defined to the typical physical acts of s&m.

Sometimes I just really don’t like or want them. At all. I have such a love-hate relationship with masochism. I am hardly ever that girl who is moaning in ecstasy up on the cross. I’m usually the one kicking and trying to get away.

Okay, well maybe a little domestic discipline to keep me in line. I just perform better when there are consequences.

And maybe we can keep the sex-in-bondage because that’s just.. you know.. HOT.

And I suppose we should keep a little throw-me-against-the-wall-by-my-throat violence so I don’t forget who is the boss.

But that’s it!

Yeah. Kink-less. :)

5 people like this post.

Unlike

What have you done for me lately?

I have my eye on 3 different cats at the shelter. Under the guise of “replacing” the one who disappeared, I’ve been monitoring their webpage (mostly I’ve been checking the lost and found section every day) and I’m focused on these 3 cats.

1 of them is a 3 year old calico who just has the saddest, scarediest little face and it tugs on my heartstrings. The other 1 (well, 1 of 2 actually) is simply because they are both torties and it was our tortie who wandered off. I think torties are beautiful cats.

The last cat is an 11 year old tabby who, get this, was surrendered because she was afraid of the family’s new puppies. Gah!

If I ever win the lottery I’m opening a cat sanctuary. That’s my final answer, Regis.

Anyway, M hasn’t said I could get another cat so for now I just lurk about their webpage. Otherwise I’d be in there taking them all. ALL THE CATS!

He limits my crazy, that’s what he does for me.

8 people like this post.

Unlike

All I Have to do is Dream

We were at the table with our morning coffee before he went to work when I remembered.

“Hey! Thanks for pulling my hair last night. Meanie.” Indignant. I had some.

“Huh?”

“Last night in the middle of the night? You woke me up when you reached over and pulled my hair.”

“No way,” he said, seeming highly amused. “That was a dream!”

“Yes way. You dug right into the back of my head and yanked it. And no, I did not dream it.”

“No, no,” he corrected. “I was dreaming it! Man. That was the best dream. You were… and then I was…,” he chortled and shook his head. “It was a good dream.”

I’m not even safe when he’s asleep. O.O

6 people like this post.

Unlike

Late to the VBA Party!

1. Thank the award-giver and link back to them in your post

Thank you to La Shiny One, Sephanie, Vixen, pepper, katie, Girl Deviante and lil one! You are beautiful people. :)

2. Share 7 things about yourself.

I’ma share 7 nevers because there are not even seven things you all don’t know about me by now:

1) I’ve never been to Ikea.

2) I’ve never been to Disney (land or world).

3) I’ve never eaten cavier.

4) I’ve never been on a train.

5) I’ve never seen the ocean.

6) I’ve never been outside of the continental United States.

7) I’ve never learned to play a musical instrument.

3. Pass this award along to 15 blogs you enjoy reading.

I saw that a lot of people took the easy way out and just did a generic handflap at their blogroll and said ‘there, consider yourself awarded’ and I was thinking, Dude! That’s not fair. You liked seeing your name on someone’s list, didn’t ya? Pansies! Man-up and make a list!

And then I sat here to make my own list of 15 and realized how damn difficult it is. They had it right, those pansies. ;-)

I’d definitely link back to those who linked to me, for the same reasons they linked to me. They all have a way of writing that I can relate to in some way, that pulls me in and holds me.

Almost everyone has already gotten the VBA, and made their post and did their links (or wimped out on the links. Hmmph!) (and that’s what I get for being late to the party!) so no matter how much I love them, it’s kinda pointless to link back to them NOW. So I’m going to focus on some of my also-favorite reads where I mostly read from afar and lurk in the corners.

Cavern of the Beast

frogburrow

Kinky Little Girl

Learning complaisance

luna

morningstar

niyamaiu’s hopes and tears

Pieces of Jade

Sake of Sanity

This girl

Vulnerable

~Zille Defeu’s Fetish Fantasies~

There were a couple I’d have liked to link to but they are private blogs and I never know what the proper internet protocol is for linking to private blogs. :/

And there were a couple more I’d have liked to link to on Fet (Fet’s becoming its own blogging site, btw) but I don’t know what proper internet protocol is for linking to people’s profiles on Fet, either!

4. Contact your chosen bloggers to let them know about the award.

Uh.. consider yourself contacted? Please? I’m running out of time! :D

ps. I’m going to Illinois. We really shouldn’t. It’s not the responsible decision to make- but, dammit, I miss my mom. ~sniffle~ Especially on holidays, when I’m so used to having that big family gathering and the idea of having just another dinner with the 6 of us makes me wistful. Plus, I’ve been reading a lot of people who have recently lost their mom/dad or whose parent(s) are in ill health and I get all weepy and I just want to go home for a little while. So he’s letting me, and I’m really, really grateful to him for being so considerate. I love him muchly. I rully rully do.

I likely won’t be back this way until next week. Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

3 people like this post.

Unlike

Sad

I haz a sad. I’m home and he isn’t. Boo-hoo.

The trip was okay. It could have been better. :-(

So I got there Thursday evening, we fucked and went out for dinner. But I couldn’t kick the headache that I’d given myself from navigating the roads, traffic and bridge (yes, yes, I know I’m a ninny. Tell me something new, why don’t ya.) and it was rapidly heading toward migraine territory, and since M had to work in the morning we hit the sack early.

Friday morning we fucked again and he headed off to work (6am). He got pulled into some dumb emergency and didn’t get back to the hotel until midnight. So I sat in the room by myself and irritated people on Fetlife all. day. long. :)

Early afternoon Friday there was drama going on back here at home that had me on edge. It’s a sad fucking state of affairs that I can’t leave my granddaughter in the care of her own mother without having to worry.

But whatever. So I was edgy for the rest of the weekend over that.

So Friday was shot. I’d gone out and grabbed some fast food about 10pm when I finally realized he was never coming back again (heh), so when he did get back, he ate and flopped into bed.

Saturday morning he didn’t have to go back in right away since he’d been out late so we slept in a bit, fucked, lingered over breakfast, and then he headed off to work for a bit. By the time he got back, I was starting to go a little stir crazy so we decided to go find something to do.

There aren’t a lot of options in these tiny frozen towns, you know.

Oh but first we had a little spat due to the aforementioned drama at home. It’s frustrating for both of us and occasionally we lash out at the wrong people if only because we’re the ones in this together. But anyway, it was over quick and we both apologized and off we went.

We stopped for a bite to eat at this Chinese buffet place, did a little shopping, and then walked around the mall. We’d had plans to play that night so, sure as shit, by the time we got back to the hotel, I was starting to feel icky. I fell asleep for about 30 mins and when I woke up I knew I had a mild case of food poisoning going on. Luckily, Master and I do not have the same tastes when it comes to Chinese food and ate totally different stuff. He was fine. I… spent most of the night in the bathroom. Or on the bed whining. Or on the bed apologizing for ruining the weekend. Or in the bathroom thinking he deserved someone better than me.

I felt awful. Both physically and because of the timing. I mean, really? I drove all that way to have some alone time with mah man and the universe blesses me by giving me a dose of staphylococcus or something.

Probably it was karma for being such a snarky bitch on fet the day before. Heh.

Anyway, so Saturday sucked, and Sunday I had to head home. I still felt yucky this morning and we kicked around the idea of me staying another day, but we decided I needed to get back. So I did.

I even got lost and didn’t even care. I mean I didn’t freak out or anything. Because I felt too icky to freak. Blergh.

But! For all the bad, we really enjoyed our time together. Even when I wasn’t feeling good, we just snuggled up on the bed and watched movies. We never get uninterrupted time like that so it was really nice. And quiet meals together, shower service, sex– just time, you know? Precious, quiet, uninterrupted time (except for work, diarrhea and pukey– oh and! I had 3 bloody noses while I was there! I never get bloody noses. What the fuck, Universe?), it was great.

Anyway. Tomorrow I’m making cookies with some friends, Tuesday I have to go meet M’s sister so I can dog-sit her pooch while they go on vacation, Wednesday M comes home and then we’re kicking around the idea of going to my mom’s for Thanksgiving but I don’t know if we will.

And I know I have some of those VBA’s to do- and I will. Tomorrow. :)

Like

Unlike

Spot the Truth!

Only one of the following statements is true. Can you spot it?

1. This wasn’t terrifying at all.

2. Neither was this.

3. I was not sweating, nauseous, nor did I have to pull over after I’d made it through to stop myself from hyperventilating.

4. I was naked and had his dick in my mouth within 10 minutes of walking through the hotel room door.

Guess right and you win a cookie!

(p.s. I’m either allergic to something in this room or I started coming down with a cold the minute I got here.)

(p.p.s. Anybody I know around the northern Minnesota area?)

4 people like this post.

Unlike

Vacay

I’m going on one.

I’m finally, finally, FINALLY getting to travel with Master.

Sort of. I mean, he’s already there and I can’t stay more than a couple of days, but no matter. I’m going and we’re going to be alone in a hotel room for 4 days and 3 nights.

Sort of. I mean, he’s there working and will be gone a lot, but no matter. I’m going and we’re going to have fun.

Assuming I make it there at all. I took the vehicle in to the shop today to get the oil changed and the mechanic informed me that the cv axle is broken. Taking the time to repair it would cut my 4 days and 3 nights down to 3 days and 2 nights, and when you’re looking at about a 12 hour round trip drive, losing 1 day is the difference between a trip being worth it or not.

Soooo! I’m taking the other car which is old. Like.. really old. It’s in decent running condition(ish) for its age, but it’s still an old car. Old cars are unpredictable.

I was already nervous about making the drive by myself, now I’m doubly nervous about it.

And then. THEN. I made the mistake of zooming in on my mapquest picture and noticed the fuck-long bridge I’m going to have to take. I mean, I don’t have a bridge phobia exactly but I sure don’t like them, and I surely don’t like long ones and I like them even less when I’m crossing them alone. Gah.

I’m supposed to leave in the morning. I mean, I AM leaving in the morning. I really am.

I can do this. Alone. I CAN.

O.O

3 people like this post.

Unlike

Where Do You Go To, My Lovely?

But where do you go to my lovely
When you’re alone in your bed
Tell me the thoughts that surround you
I want to look inside your head, yes I do

When we were playing the other night (and thanks much to Jack and Jill for inviting us over!) we got dangerously close to getting on the path to “that” place. You know that place just on the other side of pain and tears and snot, where things become simultaneously crystal clear and fuzzy?

It’s a great place, even if the trip there is hell. There’s a quiet acceptance, almost a blissful serenity to it. It’s very floaty, very… tranquil.

But not TOO tranquil because there is still pain, and there is still tears and sobbing. There’s just a lack of concern that there is pain and sobbing. The pain and sobbing are almost comforting. It all goes together, swirled up into a big, soul-soothing martini.

It’s my Utopia.

I haven’t been to Utopia in a long, long time. It takes a lot to get me there. A lot of pain, and in just the right application. The right atmosphere, the right energy from him, the right words, the right attitude. The right everything.

High-maintenance, much? Heh.

We’ve never gotten there when playing anywhere but at home, and certainly never while anyone is watching. It’s a very intimate interaction between he and I, this mental trip-taking. There is too much inner nakedness that has to be exposed to find doing it with spectators to be an easy thing.

But as I said we got dangerously close to the road to Utopia; the first steps of which always involve me giving in to the despair that is filling my head as he hurts me. The awful realization that there is nothing I can do to get away, nothing I can do to stop it, that I am just this piece of meat to him at that moment. The…reality of it seems to consume me. It’s a terrible place to be. Very bleak, very lonely, very disconnected.

It’s swallowing helplessness all over again. It’s reliving powerlessness, opening the door to the demons of my childhood, the memories, the flashbacks, the lying there in the dark being hurt and alone….

I was there. I don’t like it there.

He almost left me there.

He almost stopped right then, was ready to call the play, toss the flag, ring the bell. But I know from having been down this road a time or a hundred, that stopping when I’m in that particular mental hellhole sends me down a path of negativity and self-loathing that can take days and days, or weeks and weeks to pull myself back from.

So I did something that I rarely ever do. I asked him not to stop. “Please, don’t leave me here. Push me through it? Please?”

At first he was a little taken aback, a little skeptical at continuing on when he’d initially felt I’d had enough (or felt that he’d given as much as he wanted to give).

But I know myself. And he knows me, too. If I was asking for it, then I must need it.

So he did. He pushed me through it. A different push in a different direction, far away from Utopia, but that was okay. I knew Utopia was out of reach anyway. I just wanted to be unstuck from the quicksand I was mired in.

I imagine it was difficult for him to decide in that split second how best to navigate the choppy waters of my emotional storm. But you’d never know he had a single moments hesitation as he deftly took control back and yanked me up and away (mostly by way of a fast and brutal fingerfuck that rocked me to a mind-blowing (and record-setting fast!) orgasm.

Seriously. I’m crying those hot, shameful tears that I always try to hide, and I’m embarrassed because (I feel like) I’m on display, and I’m begging him to do *something* to help me… so he spins me around to face the crowd I’m hiding from, hurts me a little bit more and then jams his hand into my crotch in a most painful fashion and demands that I come for him right the fuck NOW, you miserable little cunt?

~squish~

Who the hell can stay in the Land of Despair after that?

Not this girl.

I know where you go to my lovely
When you’re alone in your bed
I know the thoughts that surround you
‘Cause I can look inside your head

8 people like this post.

Unlike