“Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in getting up every time we do.”
I’d forgotten what a stickler Master is about the clock when He’s away. Things like telling me to call at a certain time or be online at a certain time. To be told to return a phone call in one hour means His phone had better be ringing in precisely one hour. If He’s feeling incredibly generous, it could be one minute past one hour and He might merely point out that I’m late without being too angry.
To forget entirely? Is bad. Bad bad bad.
Last night I spaced.
I just got involved in something stupid. I was supposed to call Him at 10:30 and I’d been watching the clock as it ticked past 9:30, 9:45, 10:05… as I was waiting I was messing with the website, changing things around, moving links. I’m not very good at webstuff and I was on a roll with it, completely spacing out the world – when I heard the phone ring. And my heart dropped to my toes like a fucking brick.
It was 10:50… and I KNEW it was Him. I knew He would not be pleased. I was not wrong.
The immediate consequence was that I did not get any time with Him. Though I’d waited all day to talk to Him, my thoughtlessness ruined that. The conversation on His end was pretty short and not-so-sweet. A mere 30 seconds, at most. Other consequences await a more personal approach I’m sure.
“I see where I rate.” was His response to my answer of what I had been doing that was so important that I’d forgotten a direct order. That stung. I’m not sure what else would cut to the bone so deeply than to have it pointed out that a slave has placed her Master on the bottom of the priority list, even for one minute, even unintentionally.
The last couple of days I’ve been engaging in some lively conversations on a message board I’d joined and on Fetlife. Conversations surrounding the intricate aspects of slavery and service, submission, obedience…
Only to be cut down so tersely by Him over a forgotten phone call.
Consider my ego thoroughly checked.
~cunt
Tags: M/s rambles, mistakes
Uncategorized | kaya | 
Saturday May 3rd, 2008 11:37am
Kaya,
Oh my. I expect that the degree of ,ortification you’re feeling can’t be expressed fully in words. Let me offer my utmost sympathy for what you’re going through. I suspect that by the time He returns, you’ll be almost craving your punishment. I know when I was a kid, the worst thing my mom could do was to utter those dreadful words, “Wait until your father gets home.” You’ve been effectively told, “Wait until your Master gets home.” Buck up, you’ll come out the other side of this a better slave (hopefully).
Dave
Kaya,
I know what that feels like. I’ve done it, too. Thank you for this reminder about priorities.
I’ve got to do some typing Master “asked” me to do a week ago.
Kitten
I’ve accidentally forgotten to do something I was ordered to do too and it’s a horrible feeling to eat humble pie, knowing you’ve screwed up and let down te one person you love/need most.
the – I can’t spell either! *big hugs*
Ermmmm oops…maybe I don’t wanna be added! *sniffs a lil*
And I got logged out. PITA!
Be added? Ya lost me. :P
*points to the emails!*
Yay! No more searching for how to contact kaya! *grin*
On a more serious note… I totally feel your pain. Sadly, with all the stuff going on at work and around the house and in the background I’m forever forgetting things. And He gets really disappointed. And I feel about the size of the dot on this “i”. Maybe smaller.
Disappointed. I hate hearing that word.
I, too, can relate. When we went to Portland in March, I forgot to send off an e-mail to let R know we were on our way. When we got there, I was met with a very unhappy message. “You forget your toothbrush; you don’t forget ME.” Ouch.
I feel your pain. :(
thanks for the great link…
s.
You’re welcome. Which one was great? ;-)
…fetlife…
s.
Tell me about it!
I disappointed my Master when I didn’t call the other day. Even though it’s not a rule, I tend to call him around 7PM to remind him to finish his work and come home.
Well, I was on the phone with Kaia (no relation to you [grin] ) and I saw 7PM go past, and I thought, “Well, he’s an adult, he doesn’t need me reminding him,” and kept on with my lovely chat with my friend.
At 8PM I called him, since he hadn’t shown up at home. And, you guessed it, he was “disppointed.” I felt a bit crabby about it — I mean, it’s not even a rule! — but you’d better believe I’ll be calling him at 7PM from now on!!!
I’m sorry you ran afoul of it! Maybe you should buy a little timer, something you can program to beep at you at exactly the time you need to call your Master? Then you can work on needed projects without being scared of getting caught up and forgetting!
[comforting hug]
Thank you for the link to Fetlife. Big, big fun there! I can see how you got distracted. Ohhh, shiny. :)
Thank god i’m not the only one who has recently fucked up!
i’ve been invited a few times now to Fetlife. i haven’t been there. Should i?
Caution: i become obsessive with things at times. Especially these days.
Boy, did i ever fuck up… *looking around* grimace.
Badly.
(((((Kaya))))