On Being a Bum, or, How Not to be His Slave
His parting shot before walking out the door this morning was “maybe stepping up the domestic violence around here will step up the domestic help”.
I gave him the appropriate eye roll and “OooOoooOooh. I’m so scared!” reply.
Kidding! I didn’t. Actually, I might have humped his leg and said “Promise? Do you really promise??”
He told me I was incorrigible.
Like, I know that’s supposed to be a warning, time to step up my game, yada yada yada- but threats like that just make me moist in my bad place.
Totally ineffective.
I’ll step up my game because that’s what I’m supposed to do. But the quickest way to get me to spend another day sitting on the couch with my laptop stuck on Fet- is to tease me with talk of domestic violence.
Silly man. He doesn’t know me at ALL, do he?
(and don’t I just know that someone is going to holler about me making light of domestic violence and the true victims of DV and blah blah blah, yawn yawn yawn.)
Anyway, that is why we’ve (mostly) dropped the punishment aspect of our relationship. I will find a way to eroticize it and I will fall victim to my lust and find a way to earn more and more and more.
That’s a talent, I’m sure of it.
I was being a bum because yesterday, I was having a Fetlife frenzy. I did that on Friday, too. Sometimes the quick snippets of conversation appeal to me. From picture to picture, topic to topic, nothing too deep, nothing serious- I like it.
Even those who try and get under my skin can be amusing.
But, one does not spend an entire day on Fet while also performing her other duties. One cannot be in two places doing two things at the same time. So, one’s Master, while a very giving and lenient soul, has to make vague threats of violence now and again.
S’okay. I got the hint. We’re cool.
What I think it was, is that Jes had a couple of days off of work so she packed up Babygirl and took off to visit with baby-daddy. She left on Friday, and it’s like the house itself breathes a big sigh of relief as soon as she pulls out of the driveway. Tension eases, from all of us; Master, me, Am, the boy. The noise and chaos level drops significantly. And it was just relaxing, quiet. I enjoyed it.
Plus, yesterday the weather screwed up my plans to go to the gym. Jill and I (and our Men) are going to join a gym and we were going to check it out yesterday, but Master said I wasn’t driving anywhere on the icy roads. My fear is that we’ll join the gym and it’ll be things like this that’ll make it be a complete waste of money. Not that any of us have any control over the weather, I’m not pointing fingers or anything, I’m just trying to be practical. We live a good distance from the place and the weather here tends to be yucky. I just need to make sure we’re making the right financial decision.
And along with that is knowing that if I don’t join a gym and if I don’t do something drastic, I’m only going to keep gaining. I HAVE to make changes. I have to exercise. Just changing what I eat isn’t going to be enough.
Speaking of losing weight! The dilemma of Master’s b-day present is solved. Thank you all for your suggestions, though! Given that nothing of the toy/hurty/vibrating variety was appealing to me–because let’s face it. All of the toys are variations of what we already have. And I have enough insertables to last a lifetime– I started poking around the lingerie, heels, shiny stuff stores.
And Mah Man got kinda twitchy. Like, pitching a tent kind of twitchy.
I can take a hint. I’m brilliant like that.
I can’t say exactly what I ordered because then he’ll know. I can say that I’m probably going to look like a marshmallow stuffed into a smore. Know what I mean?
Hence my NEED to exercise. I don’t want to look like the Michelin Man in leather.
I did get a couple of ouchie things though. Master broke his misery stick (again!) so he had me order him a couple more (because apparently he is planning on breaking more of them. This simultaneously amuses me and scares me witless), and seeings as how I hadn’t yet gotten kitten and her Man a wedding present and seeings as how she gifted me with a gorgeous spatula and I live for revenge, I ordered a COUPLE for them, too.
*beams*
And since I was on that site (prysm creations, btw, should anyone else want to order one) I got one ouchie toy that I’m sure I’ll wish I hadn’t gotten.
I mean, what kind of moron goes to the one website that sells the one toy that she just cannot conquer the pain from – and orders other products?? Me. That’s what kind of moron. My species of moron.
Anyway, I spent a lot of money and I get kind of twitchy when I spend a lot of money on things like this. Even though he gave me the parameters of which to spend, and even though when I was hemming and hawing over it, he slapped his hand down on the ottoman and snapped out “order the goddamn shit and shut up!” (which I did, at that point. Cuz.. yeah.. not even my kind of moron pushes THAT button), I’m still twitchy.
I don’t know if I will ever get over not being a financial contributor. It’s been years. YEARS. Time to let it go already.
Anyway, I suppose I’d better get to tackling some chores before he follows through with some of that hot, yummy violence.
Or….
Gah. Seriously! What was he thinking saying that to ME of all people!
Uncategorized | kaya | 
Monday January 25th, 2010 6:54am
Give the rest of the interwebz a few hours to wake up, do some shit, then bite him when he gets home.
He’ll have his domestic help stepped up, you get to laze around on FetLife for the afternoon, plus, he’ll smack you for biting him.
Where’s the issue, here?
yes…do that…what she said!
*grins*
[rq=1969217,0,blog][/rq]Thoughts to ponder aka Remodeling
You don’t need a gym to exercise. You can create a decent exercise setup in your home by buying cheap hand weights, a mat, and a few other items from Wal-Mart for about $50 total. There a lot of guides online that will give you some ideas for equipment and exercise routines. I know it lacks the social aspect of the gym, but if you’re looking for frugal and convenient…
That’s very true. I just already know that I’m not motivated to do it on my own, and, the four of us were, hopefully, going to do this together and encourage each other and… you know, just have a chance to hang out in a setting that isn’t naked, for a change. lol
[rq=1969562,0,blog][/rq]On Being a Bum, or, How Not to be His Slave
I remember once talking to my girl before I left for work:
“Would you like a spanking when I get home? Want to feel the paddle leaving red marks on your ass? Then get the dam dishes done before I get home!”
Now THAT’S a workable threat. What a lucky girl she is!
[rq=1969562,0,blog][/rq]On Being a Bum, or, How Not to be His Slave
I know I will eventually say something like “WTF was I thinking when I did that?”…but I’m gonna order one of those “delightful and delicate-looking” misery sticks you gave the link for. Thanks. But later, after I actually witness and feel and experience it..I reserve the right to come back here and say “why? why? why did you post that link?” Of course, by then…(tee-hee)…it will be too late. Now I’ve got to go and run in circles, clap my hands, smile like an idiot and piddle on the floor because of all my excitement over a new toy. Yep, I know…I’m hopelessly NUTS.
[rq=1969538,0,blog][/rq]Teasing a Clitoris (Sex Toy Review)
Oh silly silly girl.
A word of advice- when we first got ours, and I got mine the same way you got yours; someone I knew talked about how much they hurt and I just HAD TO HAVE ONE.
Stoopid, stoopid, stoopid.
Anyway.. lol
When we first got it, we were both like, well shit, this doesn’t really hurt at all.
Until we managed to hook up with the couple who “made” me buy it in the first place, and he ever-so-helpfully showed Master how to use it properly.
So lemme tell you how to use it properly.
It works by pulling it back and letting it snap, right? By “pulling it back”, I mean *pull it back*, like almost fold the thing in half and let it snap.
Make sense? Master’d be happy to make a demonstration video if you need one!
[rq=1969562,0,blog][/rq]On Being a Bum, or, How Not to be His Slave
Well maybe not in half. I think that would break it. I think that’s how he breaks his.
Maybe I’ll just ask him to make a demo vid anyway. It sounds fun!
[rq=1969562,0,blog][/rq]On Being a Bum, or, How Not to be His Slave
Crap, now you have gone and done it…I want one even more now!
[rq=1977602,0,blog][/rq]Brutalize Me With Your Love
But, one does not spend an entire day on Fet while also performing her other duties.
Shit, is that what I’ve been doing wrong? The laptop is on the table I need to polish so that counts, right?
[rq=1964083,0,blog][/rq]True Purpose Revealed
I’m working on gratitude so I’m just going to say Thank you very much, kaya. I appreciate your thinking of us… I’m not going go say “OMG how COULD you!? that’s so not fair!! That spatula probably won’t even hurt!!” or anything.
Why are you just sitting around on fet? It’s not that interesting.. and if it is, what forums are you on? :)
[rq=1966558,0,blog][/rq]Changes and Expecations
So we have a rule. The rule is that if I happen across a site with toys that I know he will like I am required to provide him with the links dontcha just love it when they make you actively participate in yer own doom? Master loves to put clothes pins on my tongue and make me cry and drool from the embarrassment. So what do I find on that evil evil site? why adjustable bamboo tongue clampers gah!! Not to mention all the wonderful other hurty toys. Im quite sure will be making an appearance in our lives soon.
The more you post about that damn stick the happier I am M doesn’t read here often.
Somehow, I think He’ll find out and buy one though. So far, He hasn’t. I’m keeping my toes crossed.
[rq=1984896,0,blog][/rq]We Interrupt Our Regularly Scheduled Broadcast to Say…
I wish you and I lived closer by one another.
We could help each other clean house and do that thing where one person cooks twice as much so that we only have to cook dinner half as often or something..
But it’s cold where you live, and I need a longer growing season…
Move South.
[rq=1987458,0,blog][/rq]Accepting
First step to weight loss: Never cook anything posted on Domestic Servitude. I swear, y’all are trying to make us obese. Happy and surrounded my tasty sweets, but obese. Every time I look over there, more foods to make people die fat and soon! (You’ll notice that I keep going, though….there’s good stuff between, like your detergent recipe- that shit rocks!)