Not another post about hair!
Oh but it is. It is another post about hair.
I just replied to a post on Fet and went off on a whiny tangent about hair, which will likely get me booted from the Slave of the Year Club, and I figured I’d bring it here instead.
Y’all are (usually) nicer than the people on Fet. You give good head pats and “there, there, honey” and “he’s a mean old man!” stuff. And the occasional “suck it up, buttercup”, which means more coming from you guys.
The topic over there was changing your appearance at his direction. From clothing to weight to… hair.
Here’s where I got all “woe is me” on them:
I’m currently struggling with the hair requirements though. He wants long hair so long hair is what I have. It’s not butt-length or anything, my hair seems to stall at lower back length. But my hair is thick and heavy and I’ve always been tender-headed (which is why I always wore it short, pre-Master) so these days I have constant headaches.
It all just sounds so stupid. Makes me feel weak and whiny and… like a ridiculous failure. Other people hang themselves from hooks in the name of submission and I’m practically (sometimes literally) in tears over fucking hair.
I hate myself for it, really.
I think he’s torn too. His desires vs. my well-being. I pop aspirin constantly. No matter how I wear it, how I style it, it pulls and I eventually end up with a headache. Every. Single. Day. It’s just… Grr. Frustrating. I guess I’d hoped that I’d “get used to it” but it’s been 5 years.
A couple of weeks ago, after my 3rd dose of Excedrin that day, I literally flopped on the floor in tears of frustration and demanded that he let me get it cut. I was just so sick of it. So he shrugged and told me to go ahead. Cut it off and donate it.
I don’t know what that means! I win? Then why did I feel so defeated?
It wasn’t a relief, it only made me feel worse. I haven’t cut anything because I’m not seeing that as a direct order so much as him being frustrated. And he hasn’t repeated it either.
I’m usually on board with the whole idea of having to endure unpleasant things for the amusement/benefit/whim of The Boss. In fact, I tend to find those things to be pretty fucking cool. I don’t know though. At this point I think having to shave my head to “show my devotion” would be pretty fucking cool.
So yeah.
I think he probably is getting close to hauling me down to the salon and having them cut it.
And if he does, I’ll sit in the chair and bawl. I know I will. I’m practically bawling over the thought of it. It’s one thing to *think* I’m a weak, whiny failure- and quite another to KNOW I am.
And yet… I also am selfish enough to know that I’d love, love, love having shorter hair.
Couldn’t I just put a wig on when he’s in the mood for long hair? Ugh.
Uncategorized | kaya | 
Monday December 28th, 2009 6:11am
Same But Not.
Master is as white as wonder bread and I of course am of a blended caramel persuasion, neither fish nor fowl. Master for a very long time believed that I could have long flowing locks of silky black hair that comes down to my ass by just letting it grow, because that’s what he’s used to. I explained to him that this was not so, but he was determined for me to have hair down to my ass.
So I started growing my hair for him, but it never did what he expected it to do, which is fall lovely and long for him to pull and do hair bondage with. Instead it grew tightly curled, ridiculously soft, and broke off in his hands when he pulled it as it is fragile, fine, baby soft, and thick.
I explained to him that for me to have hair that he wanted me to have would mean salon every week, chemical straighteners 6 times a year, damaging techniques that could leave me bald, and make my scalp bleed.
He didn’t believe me, so I had my mother explain it to him because he really had no clue about what goes into “Ethnic” hair care. Still he was skeptical, so I did what he asked. I went to the salon and got my hair straightened. He watched gripped the chair arms, cried, and left with straight hair, but huge quarter sized sores on my scalp because I never chemically straightened my hair and this is what it does to my skin.
His reaction was “WHY do women do this if it’s so horrible!!” and I said “Um… because men ask us to?”
He felt horrible for weeks while I put neosporin on my scalp, and couldn’t comb it or stand to touch it. Even though I went to a top notch salon, I told him this would happen and he thought I was just trying to road block his will for me.
What Master learned from this is that sometimes I actually do know what is best for my own physical and emotional well being.
Part 2.
Master wants my hair long, too, but because of my mystery sickness, my hair falls out in huge ridiculous clumps, I’m talking bald spots here, whenever I get sick. I’ve always kept my hair shorter and I’ve always worn it back or covered it because of this situation. Master thought that it was just a fashion cultural thing for me to wear my hair covered all the time until the first time I got really sick and my hair started falling out in huge handfuls, clogging the sink drain. This is also my body’s reaction to STRESS. When stressed I shed hair, arm hair, leg hair, eyebrows, eye lashes, head… all of it. So by stressing me out over having this long perfect hair, Master was actually aiding my hair in its shedding.
I finally did what you did… which was just beg the man to please leave my hair the hell alone and let me deal with my hair. He said, with exasperation, “fine…. do what you want…” which I of course heard as “You’re a failure…”
So, I kept suffering with my hair for months until finally, I just OBEYED HIM, and cut my hair off to a manageable length and style so that I don’t have to deal with all those issues anymore.
I would advise you to take the man at his word when he says it’s OK for you to cut your hair and get the fuck over yourself about it. You need your hair cut so that you can function without being a pill popper. He’s accepting this and doing what’s best for you. You should just get on with being obedient and get your damn hair cut.
You have to remember that it’s not all about you here. he probably IS a little exasperated with the situation. Having your slave come to you that way, asking you to give up one of your visions for her can’t feel all that great especially when you know that giving up that vision is really in her best interest. It becomes “want vs need”, “care vs. harm”. “selfish vs. humane”
Don’t think of this as a win or a victory for you or for him. you both lose something, but you both gain something.
(Also, if you keep fucking around about it, he might decide to cut it himself…)
[rq=1651678,0,blog][/rq]Update
This is why I love you so. *beams*
HOLY CRAP…I had no idea I wrote that much LOL
[rq=1651870,0,blog][/rq]Update
as i don’t have .. never have had… the problem of hair too thick and long it gives me headaches .. i am not too sure how helpful my comments will be..
i do know though that i produced (god only knows how) two daughters with thicker than thick hair !!! and curly to boot……. my eldest does keep hers relatively short….. but youngest daughter’s husband loves her hair long and blonde (personally i HATE the blonde thing.. she is a natural red head) Anyway i digress..
The youngest found the long hair too much work and fuss and bother and usually pinned it up……… till she went to the hairdresser over the holidays and they thinned it !!(now why they couldn’t take all that hair they thinned out and weave it into ole mom’s limp fine hair i will never know ) …….. and they sectioned it?? layered it?? i am never sure of the terms…….
She says her head feels 10 pounds lighter ……..
so .. what i am saying here in a long winded .. round-a-bout way is……. have you tried having them thin your hair and layer it??
just a thought from someone who wishes upon a golden star that she had thicker longer hair……..
morningstar (owned by Warren)
[rq=1651851,0,blog][/rq]Toys toys and more toys….
The headaches are worse when I put it up. Being able to take it out and let my hair down is almost as wondeful as coming home and taking off your bra.. or kicking off your shoes. It’s heavenly.
Of course, having it down is when the pulling and catching and tugging starts.
I’m never happy. Srsly.
As I said in other comments, I’ve had it layered and thinned before. Honestly, it didn’t seem to make a big difference.
It could be that they didn’t thin it enough though. I rely on them to know when enough is enough but perhaps I should insist on a bit more.
The layers… meh… not only did I not notice any benefit to the weight issue, having the different lengths just got on my damn nerves. It seemed like I couldn’t style it AT ALL with the layers in there.
But maybe I need more practice with hair syles to work that out. And, maybe I didn’t get the layers short enough to affect the weight, either.
Thanks! I appreciate the advice. :)
(funnily enough, I have a spot that IS thinning. Now why can’t I just move some of the thick shit to the thin spot!?)
Hair. You know that all the rest of us would love long thick hair right? Yeah, we never love the hair we get. OK, I got that out of my system.
Yes, you are supposed to do what he wants. And yes you feel like a failure. But you want it cut, and I think you want it cut a lot. And he said you could cut it. So do it. Go quick and do it before you lose either your nerve or his consent.
Maybe that’s not even what’s causing the headaches. But you won’t know til you try it. So go do it. And if your head feels 20 pounds lighter and you never have those headaches again and your Master has a happier slave then he can give some thought to whether he wants you with long lovely locks or not whining all the time.
Cause it does grow back if he wants it to.
Merry Christmas.
[rq=1652150,0,blog][/rq]Christmas Presents
This is going to sound ridiculously childish and difficult, but there is not a chance in hell that I would go get it cut without him standing right there next to the chair.
Really, it’s self-preservation. Honest!
Because I KNOW there would be some fallout if I went alone.
There just would be.
I’m totally laying this in his lap. If he wants me to get it cut, he has to drive me there, sit me in the chair and tell the beautician when to stop.
Or.. you know.. he doesn’t HAVE to do any of that. I’d just prefer it that way. *nods*
Can’t you thin it out? There’s scissors for that, you know, appropriately names thinning shears. It’ll be more manageable that way.
At least, if you’ve got straight or relatively straight hair. For us curlies, it’s a no-no. I mean. Imagine that hair growing out again? Poof, double thickness by the scalp! Eeeh. Not prettah. I know, I’ve had it do that (though that was not at the fault of scissors) .
I, too, was going to suggest thinning it. You can also have it clipped short from the neck to about the occipital and it won’t show unless you’re upside-down. (Heh.)
Oh man. That would be weird! I wonder if he’d let me do that..lol
My hair is only chin-length, and without doing the clip from nape to occipital, it is both too heavy and too hot. I’ve been having it done this way since I lost the mullet in the mid-90s… (cough)
I’ve had it thinned before. Honestly, it didn’t seem to make a difference.
It could be that they didn’t thin it enough though. I rely on them to know when enough is enough but perhaps I should insist on a bit more.
Hee. I totally want to see you with hair poof.
I have the same sort of issue with my cunt rings. He loves them, but they cause me pain every single day. I was hoping that eventually he’d get sick of hearing me whine about them and let me take them out, but if he actually did, I’d get all upset about it. How fucked up is that?
I barely have enough hair to cover my scalp and am supremely jealous of people with thick locks. But constant pain sucks and it seems to suck the life out of you.
It’s at this stage that I’d usually say “Wouldn’t he prefer you pain-free and happy?” but I’m sure he’d just prefer you with long hair…which is just another example of why it sucks to be a slave.
[rq=1652396,0,blog][/rq]Retrospect is a wonderful thing
It’s you I think of every time I get whiny about my hair. I keep telling myself “if she can deal with the cunt rings, then by God I can deal with the hair!”
So.. would you take them the fuck out already so I can get my effing hair cut!? Sheesh woman!
:-P
Okay, hate to start this as I don’t want to get sent to the Fet crew, but if you are taking aspirin or Excedrin that often you have headaches which will occur every day after you cut your hair. They are medication rebound headaches, and they are a real mother once you try to stop the pills. It’s a regular problem in this household as we have “headache people”, and “complicated migrainers” and have had to learn a great deal about all kinds of meds. It may still be the hair, or a combination of things, but unfortunately, the pills are contributing. :-( The thinning sounds like a great idea! I’d really check out the salon, though. It also sounds like something a bad salon could really mess up. Good luck!
Ack! Don’t tell me things like that!
For serious?
That totally sucks. I am so not good at suffering.
i’m not sure if this will help or not kaya, but while waiting for the haircut day perhaps try changing the medication you are using. Excedrin is an Acetaminophen, perhaps something like Aleve or Advil might work better. Aleve is Naproxin and Advil is Ibuprofen. Just something to think about :-)
I tend to alternate between Ibuprofin and Excedrin. I take the Ibu. when it’s just that kind of mild, achey sort and pop the Excedrin when the Ibu. isn’t touching it.
But I haven’t tried Aleve. I might do that. Thanks!
I was gonna ask if you’d ever had it thinned. But several people beat me to it, so my suggestion doesn’t sound as brilliant and snappy anymore.
Lame.
~Chloe, who can have the longest hair she wants, because it’s stupidly, lamely, horribly thin.
[rq=1653437,0,blog][/rq]Obligatory Holiday Post
You always sound brilliant. It’s not what you say, but how you say it. ;-)
I’m just an anonymous lurker who isn’t in the lifestyle, but can’t you compromise? Have it cut to collarbone length with some nice stylish layers? Longish, but even that should help with the headaches. I have a friend who has really thick hair and she too gets headaches when her hair gets too long. The collarbone length seems to work for her.
I am all for compromise! Now to convince him that it was all his idea….
;-)
I don’t have any advice. I just wanted to laugh, because when I read the last line of your post, for some reason my brain started singing, “If he liked it then he shoulda put a wig on it . . . O-o-oh!”
[rq=1654606,0,blog][/rq]Merry Christmas
*snicker*
You made lulz.
I’m exactly where you are with the hair thing. I’m not quite as tender-headed as you are, but long hair on me looks horrible, gets in the way, dries out and frizzes and splits and gets caught on His fingers and in His armpits and in the car door and on the nail the last tenants left by the door and…
I felt guilty when He finally cut it. I still feel guilty sometimes when we talk about how it needs a trim and how we’re gonna take me to get some kind of style/shape once my bangs grow all the way out and how, right now, he’s gonna let me keep it the length it is (though it’s already grown 3-4 inches!). But when it comes right down to it, I’m relieved and grateful. I couldn’t handle it. It was too much.
Does it make me feel silly? A little. I mean, I let this man tie me up and whip me till I’m hoarse from screaming and begging for Him to stop, but I can’t run a brush through long hair without losing my shit about how much of a pain in the ass it is and why can’t He just do this one thing for me: Stop liking long hair. But I have enough “flaws” without adding not being able to deal with hair to my ass to the list. So I’m trying not to sweat the small shit.
“gets in the way, dries out and frizzes and splits and gets caught on His fingers and in His armpits and in the car door and on the nail the last tenants left by the door and…”
And the baby. The baby grabs it in her wicked little fist and won’t let go.
All. The. Time.
Argh!
I think, if he cut it himself, I’d feel a whole lot less angst over it. I dunno why it makes a difference if he’s wielding the scissors or giving permission to someone else to wield them. But I think it would make a difference.
Is your headaches from brushing it? Or the weight of it? If it’s from brushing it, it might be worth it to invest in a leave-in conditioner, which would make brushing it ten times easier with less snags.
If it’s the weight, get it thinned and layered. It will help.
However, watch what you are taking for those headaches. I know Excedrin gives me awful rebound headaches, but Advil won’t.
[rq=1655094,0,blog][/rq]Claimed
I should add a recommendation to that leav-in. I use “It’s a 10″ which can be found in salons for $20. It’s a very small bottle, but you only need a little bit. It makes brushing your hair so much easier, and it tames frizzies. Excellent stuff!
[rq=1655115,0,blog][/rq]Claimed
It’s the weight more than brushing it. Brushing it only sometimes sparks a headache.
I alternate Excedrin with Ibuprofin. Though it could be rebound headaches, too.
Ugh.
Facetiously, I recommend fixing your rebound headaches with caffeine! Then you fix the caffeine withdrawal headaches with medicine! Then you sleep in a dark room until the spinnies go away.
I agree with people who say to get it thinned, it really should help to take a lot of the weight off and it should help with the headaches without taking away too much of the longness, if it doesn’t help you could always get it cut some more.
I have felt that I am a faliure feeling so much when I was still with my Master Im not sture in how to not feel it, but id ignore it til the feeling went away and also let him know what i was thinking.
Yeah, that failure thing is a bitch, ain’t it?
If you are taking pain killers for headaches most days you are likely to get rebound headaches. To break addiction to pain killers you need to go cold turkey and not take any at all for 3 – 4 weeks.
Ugh. That sounds like awful fun.
I don’t see my danged comments here. Well – lemme start again – only this time in short summary. Kaya – I had a VERY similar situation. After trying damned near everything, I got an mri and what do you know – I had bad discs (C4-C7). i got them fixed and no more headache!
Dang. That sucks.
I hope it’s not that for me!
mmmmm, ok from one thick haired woman to another…yes this shit is heavy, it is like having 38 EE tits on your head and no bra for support….for years i had short hair..until..but i digress…here is a suggestion before you get it whacked off….try getting it layered, a different style, layers for me for what ever goofy reason seem lighter…if it doesn’t work, then ok, get it cut..but try the layers…hugs
That’s what I kept thinking, what you said about the bras and no support. It has to be the same!
I too know your fate. I am also of the clan HeavyHead, with my Indian-Mexican hybrid hair. My hair is a little shorter than nipple length, and weighs between 5-8 pounds depending on its state of wetness.
If you REALLY don’t want to cut off a whole lot of length, but want it lighter, I second the layering idea. It helped a LOT for me.
I also recommend checking out the Long Hair Community (they’re instantly googleable!) I’ve found quite a bit of useful information from them!
[rq=1655563,0,blog][/rq]A merry little Yule gift for you all…
There is a long hair *community*?! That’s awesome.
I’m on my way!
My hair’s pretty long and it’s been knee length for most of my life. Hair sticks are your friend! Very easy, and it will distribute the weight of your hair AND keep it out of the way.
Do a youtube search for infinity buns, equilibrium buns, and figure eight buns. Very easy, even with hip length hair, and it’s light light light!
[rq=1655644,0,blog][/rq]Still in labor
Searching now!
Ugh. I have the SAME kind of hair you do – and dear GOD does it suck ass to have it all long and pretty. Because it really is very pretty! It just *HURTS*!
I’m lucky in that my Keeper doesn’t give a flying fuck about my appearance so long as I don’t weigh more than him. His words. lol So I can do whatever I damn well please with myself. SO my hair is a nice, below shoulder length. And currently black and purple. Yay.
ANYWAY, off topic. When I was younger, I was in ballet, which requires buns, and had to have this long hair to put into different styles for pageants. Talk about pain. I did, however, in all this pain figure out several styles and cuts that worked VERY well to control my headaches and pain. I was even having neck and shoulder pain from how damned heavy my hair was!
The suggestions to layer and thin your hair are great. Those helped me – I had layers in my hair that went from my shoulders to my ass. I also had my hair thinned pretty consistently.
Ashton’s suggestions for infinity and equilibrium buns with hairsticks (check out longlocks.com – it’s the website I used when my hair was UBER LONG and it’s so helpful! It’s mostly for women who want to grow their hair long, but has LOTS of tips and pretty accessories for the ladies who already have long hair)is GREAT.
I think you can see my email address … I’d be happy to email you pictures of my hair when it was long so you can get a better idea of how it looked! It would be great if you could find a nice little compromise so you can be pain-free, and your Master can enjoy your pretty hair!
I am totally going to that website right freaking now!
I hope it helps!
Can you try layering? A good stylist can also “thin” your hair (I have the same problem) by using a razor to cut it…shags it a bit, perhaps? dunno the right term, but it doesn’t remove the overall length but takes the heavyness out of it.
nilla’s thoughts…good luck hunny.
[rq=1657535,0,blog][/rq]untitled
I’ve had it layered and thinned before. Honestly, it didn’t seem to make a big difference.
It could be that they didn’t thin it enough though. I rely on them to know when enough is enough but perhaps I should insist on a bit more.
The layers… meh… not only did I not notice any benefit to the weight issue, having the different lengths just got on my damn nerves. It seemed like I couldn’t style it AT ALL with the layers in there.
But maybe I need more practice with hair syles to work that out. And, maybe I didn’t get the layers short enough to affect the weight, too.
Thanks! I appreciate the advice and the commiserating. :)
1 word LAYERS LAYERS LAYERS
ok here are a few more had a friend with same proulbemn
the hair dresser
layered it alot it made a huge difference
second people on fetlife can
be a bitchie
They CAN be a bitchie! lol, I love that!
My Master insists on long hair. My hair is fine and light, just enough curly to frizz out and never look nice. It breaks off in huge handfuls. (Instead of naturally curly… I say it is naturally messy.)
Luckily I do not have any trouble with weight or head aches. (I do second the suggestion for aleve or naproxin sodium generics. They just work better for headaches for me.) My sympathies for your pain.
Now he is wanting me to dye it red. Winces… I am doing it gradually… we are at strawberry blond now. The repeated dying has not helped the frizzy thing at all but I hate the white.
The other day I showed him a twenty year old driver’s license with very cute short hair… tried to tell him that if I could get that hair cut I would look like I was 30 again. He grunted and said NO.
I’m constantly showing Master pictures or pointing out someone with short hair and going “Isn’t that CUTE?! I should totally get that!” Then he biffs me or whatever. :)
I’m thankful he at least likes the brown. And he lets me color over the gray. Sometimes I long for “funky” colors like I used to do when I was younger, but I’m probably too old for that stuff anyway.
My condolences on having to go red. Unless you’re one of those hot, firy redheads, in which case- Right on! :)
I understand where you are coming from!! I have the same problem
i have a gut feeling that if you keep your hair long enough for him to wrap into his fist he will get over it being cut. Let’s face it- he is a caring Master to you and certainly would be more concerned with your well- being. i always donate my / my girl’s hair when cut – makes me feel good. :)
[rq=1663421,0,blog][/rq]O the Horror!
All of the headache meds will cause rebound headaches – tylenol, ibuprofen, naprosyn (sp?), aspirin, script drugs. It’s how often you take them. Spacing, and alternating can help some, but not when you are in as deep as this unfortunately. As a complicated migrainer managed with preventatives, and abortives plus what I need for over the top attacks, I still have to watch this at times. My daughter had severe headaches as a child, and was mishandled by a doctor who didn’t know this information. She had to be treated by a neurologist, and weaned with other medications over time. She had our screwed up genes , and a complicated headache situation, but again the medication overuse morphed her conditon into another animal entirely. Google medication overuse headache, MOH, and chronic daily headache, and you will get some good information. It may be less related to your hair than you think. It may have started with your hair one day, stress, the air pressure, and then pretty soon you are into this. It’s pretty common, and often not diagnosed unless one sees someone who’s up on headaches. You can feel better, and it is such a relief. If you want specific info, let me know and I’ll email. There are good headache docs, too.
I bet if we shaved it all off, it would make one hell of a nice hair flogger. You’d be cute shaved bald too.
A
Go to a salon and have it thinned. They can cut some layers in to it that will retain length while reducing weight.
Try having baby fine hair…the kind that is so straight… you look like a flat head… and yes my man wants long hair. I would trade for your heavy thick hair any day of the week.
I had hair issues! They did not give me daily headaches, but they did give me daily stress as my hair is also thick and extremely heavy… which makes it fall out easily (since the thinning hair runs in my family). As long as I keep it short, it grows in thick and fluffy and cute (and makes me look ten years younger).
My Daddy wanted long hair, so I let it grow at his direction for one year without cutting. It went past my shoulders and became scraggly and wicked-witch like. Neither of us were happy with it but, like someone else said, it’s kind of hard to give up a dream or expectation or fantasy you’ve carried because it’s just not healthy for one reason or another. We were both frustrated (I wanted to have long, pretty-pretty-princess hair for him just as much as he wanted me to have it) and I, too thrashed a bit and he gave in and let me get it snipped.
Thankfully, he’s now admitted that the bob style it’s in makes me look like I’m 12 so that pleases him in all sorts of other ways. ^_^
I do wish you the best on your hair troubles.
[rq=1682475,0,blog][/rq]Late
I have waist length hair now at 31. But, at 19, I used to have below the knee hair. I didn’t connect it to my hair at first since it had been *much* longer just a couple of years before.
I went through the same thing trying tylenol & advil for months. My niece got gum in my hair and I had to cut it up to ear length.
Voila! The headaches disappeared. But, I wanted my long hair back damnitall. So, I let it grow. It didn’t start hurting again until it was about shoulder blade length that time.
I kept up the grow, trim to no pain length, grow, trim, grow cycle and now have uber-thick, long, pretties for hair.
My hair grows about 1.5 – 2 inches a month so I get about an inch taken off about every 6 weeks. I also get it layered but not thinned. I like that my pony tail is thick enough that I can barely hold onto it to put it in a tail ;)
Hope this helps, h
[rq=1696411,0,blog][/rq]New Year’s Eve Blue Moon
Here is the first paragraph as it shoulda been had I not just gotten off a double shift on my Alz unit. Sorry!
I have waist length hair now at 31. But, at 19, I used to have below the knee hair. I decided I wanted long hair again after wearing a dyke spike for a year or two. When it got to shoulder length I started having headaches. I didn’t connect it to my hair at first since it had been *much* longer just a couple of years before.
[rq=1696493,0,blog][/rq]New Year’s Eve Blue Moon
I also hate having my hair long because it touches the back of my neck and gets all sweaty and gross. I prefer my hair short and spiky, and M wants it long. So we compromised–I shaved off everything below the tops of my ears (with the exception of my sideburns, which I kept).
You can’t tell that my head is shaved when I wear my hair down, and when I pull it into a ponytail, the ponytail is at least half (maybe a little less) of the diameter that it usually is.
Try googling ‘undercut’ to see pictures of what this looks like (if you want pictures of mine in particular, let me know).
I use to have really long hair … pass my ass :-P lets just say after cutting it shortter i never wanted to go back to that .. no way no how .. n i do get headachs when it gets long and stuff.. maybe if u want to keep it long for him let them thin ur hair using the sissors instead (but that way it will not look like what he wants so )