My essay
What I Did Today.
An essay by slave kaya.
5:45am. Wake up. Hit snooze.
6:00am. Stumbled into the bathroom, peed and brushed my teeth. Went upstairs to shut off the girl’s alarm clocks that had been blaring since 4:30am and woke them up. Went back downstairs, pushed the dog out into the cold, started coffee, let the dog back in and went back upstairs to wake the girls up again. Threatened to send them to school in pajamas.
Downstairs again, fed the dog and cats (before Feldman climbed my leg). Poured that first delicious cup of coffee, put it down to break up the first morning’s argument over the hairbrush. (we have 10 brushes. The girls each got a new one for christmas. Color coded even. And still, they fight.) Started making breakfast, threatened life-long grounding if the girls didn’t stop screaming at each other over make-up. (They each have tool boxes full of make-up. And still, they fight.) Remembered coffee cup, it was cold, drank it anyway in one long gulp. Poured more.
Packed lunches while listening to long and incredibly detailed reports (where do they get that I wonder?) of the weird dreams my kids have. Propped my eyelids open with toothpicks, smiled and tried to look interested. Fixed the 13 yr old’s hair while the 14 yr old berated her sister for not doing it herself. Broke up that argument, which started another argument on how “we weren’t arguing mom, I was just sayin’!” to which I gave the lecture on how calling someone retarded and helpless, which is responded to with a loud “shut up!” fits in the arguing category. Received eye rolls for my efforts and suddenly, I was the bad guy and they were friends. Shook my head and drank more coffee. Had the usual last-minute scramble to find papers, lunch money, “mom! you gotta sign this!”, kiss kiss bye bye.. I will so miss you (not).
Drank more coffee.
6:45am. Attached two clothespins to my nipples and cleaned the kitchen while wearing them. Surprisingly, they didn’t hurt. Decided I was immune to clothespins.
7:00am. Thinking what a wonderful Master I have who has trained my nipples to no longer feel pain, I took them off. And screamed. I feel pain. My nipples just hadn’t had enough coffee. Spent several moments cradling my nipples and whimpering, thinking what a rotten Master I have for making me feel this kind of agony at 7am.
7:05am. Went back upstairs to wake up the boychild, whose alarm clock was still blaring. Since 4:30am. He hadn’t moved a muscle. Since 4:30. This never fails to amaze me. Picked up the clothes on his floor and woke him up again. Cleaned the upstairs bathroom and woke him up again. Scooped the cat boxes and woke him up again. Threatened to send him to school in his boxers. He got up.
8:00am. Boy child has breakfast, is dressed, has book bag and coat ready. He sits on the couch and as I head outside to take the trash out I remind him to go brush his teeth. With a toothbrush. And toothpaste.(Otherwise he says I didn’t tell him to.) Come back in at 8:10 and the boy is sleeping on the couch. *sigh*
Wake him up… again… and make him brush then push him out the door before he misses the bus.
8:15am. Remember I was having coffee and go in search of the cup. Walk by the window and remember I was supposed to scoop the yard from the weeks assault from the shit machine (dog), before the garbage was picked up. Go do that and decide once and for all that there is no way to eroticize dog poop scooping.
8:45am. Take a break and chat to my girlie on msn while sitting bare assed on the Mo*^fu% bitch bench.
9:00am. Peel myself off the bench and see if I have any skin left on my ass. Take raw ass into the bathroom and insert one butt plug, with the knowledge that tomorrow, I have to use the bigger one. Enjoy this last moment of smallness.
9:05am. Remove plug, ignoring the feeling that my guts were ripped out with it and wait for cramp to go away.
9:10am. Put plug back in and cuss loudly. Spend ten minutes searching for my keys, which has the post office box key on it. In the midst of that, the phone rings. My daughter calling to inform me she has my keys in her coat pocket. I don’t even ask why. The reason will not make any sense.
9:20am. Leash up the dog, and walk to the post office anyway. Small towns are good for something, I don’t even have to give her my po box number, just tell her I forgot my key and she hands me my mail. Decide that I used too much lube as I’m squishing when I walk. Also decide that I do NOT like the way the plug wiggles and moves and slides with each step. Make a note to tell Master that walking and plug wearing should be separate activities.
10:00am. Return home and remove hated plug. Wash off lube and sit in my newly appreciated comfortable padded office chair and make adoring post about Master…:)
11:00am. Feeling in love and high on sweetness, head to the bedroom to do my 200 clothespins/50 Master-ly chants, thinking what a wonderful Master I have who comes up with ingenious training techniques such as this.
11:30am. Cradle red swollen checkered breasts and curse Master for coming up with such horrid torture games. Grudgingly admit that it’s working and curse Him for that too.
11:30 to about 12:30. Alternate sitting on the bitch bench while journal-hopping with peeling myself off to clean some part of the house. Make plans to go to the store, head outside and remember I don’t have my keys.
12:30pm. The swelling and redness on my breasts has gone away enough to see where the letters are supposed to be, gather cutting supplies and psyche myself up to refresh the “owned slave”. Remember to be thankful that Master lets me do this myself because when He does it, He doesn’t stop when it hurts real bad. I do.
1:15pm. Put clothespins on my nipples. Realize that it hurts still. Suffer and watch the clock.
1:30pm. Take them off and wonder if the neighbors heard me yelp. Feel some relief thinking that the painful tasks are over. Get a snack out of the fridge and see the gingerroot in the drawer. Sigh heavily.
2:00pm. With one hour to go before the kids get home, ginger root is peeled. Inserted. Pain and burning follow. Go with the flow and masturbate. Decide that felt pretty good and masturbate again. Almost drift off into a post-climax nap and remember the kids.
2:50pm. Hop up, dispose of used ginger, repack toy box, walk through the house checking for forgotten items of an inappropriate nature. Lock toy box and unlock front door. Make a quick stop in the bathroom to pee and spot the butt plug standing proudly on the sink ledge. Become panicked over the idea that if I hadn’t of had to pee I wouldn’t have seen it and the kids would have. Kick myself for not being more careful. Put plug away. See Master online, chat with Him for a bit.
Flop exhausted on the couch and almost explode when my daughter says “why are you so tired, mom? You don’t do anything all day.”
~cunt
Tags: humor
Uncategorized | kaya | 
Tuesday January 17th, 2006 4:33pm
“11:00am. Feeling in love and high on sweetness, head to the bedroom to do my 200 clothespins/50 Master-ly chants, thinking what a wonderful Master I have who comes up with ingenious training techniques such as this.
11:30am. Cradle red swollen checkered breasts and curse Master for coming up with such horrid torture games. Grudgingly admit that it’s working and curse Him for that too.”
i so needed to read this.. i really, honestly did. not cos your day is more productive than mine or anything like that.. but cos i needed the laughter, i needed to smile..
thank you, kaya, from the bottom of my heart.
keth
xxxxx
*hugs* you know….they say if you peel the ginger a day or so ahead of time that it tends to be stronger….maybe next time you should peel it ahead of time :) Just being helpful, ya know…cuz I know he likes to see ya suffer so much.
I better get outta here before kaya comes after me…yall don’t live that far away after all ;)
*hugs* sweetie…
now see, subverse, that’s where you’re going wrong. I’m safe, on my little side of the pond.. *grins and ducks before kaya can chuck something at her*.. oh and kaya, did you ever tell your Master about sambal?
*runzzzzzzzzzzz*
keth
xxxxx
*plugs Master’s ears*
You know girls.. I am an expert at revenge…:P
uh-huh, uh-huh.. http://homepage.ntlworld.com/kissx/ganeshaspice/ you might like this site… not advertising/spamming, its on topic, honest, promise, cross-my-heart-and-hope-to-die.. (oh and Ganesha is a mate of mine…)
*GRINZ*
keth
xxxx
morning chores..
kaya.. i was just thinking.. you use toothpicks to prop open your eyes???!!! is that all???? geeeeeee you ARE lucky….. (cheeky grin)
morningstar (owned by Warren)
http://wtsubbie.blogspot.com/
Re: morning chores..
LOL.. Master has mentioned toothpicks a few times now. I think I’ll soon be where you were last weekend. Oh joy.
4.30am…??
FOUR THIRTY AM?!
Oh it’s not like anyone actually gets UP at 4:30am. I don’t understand how they don’t wake up with that alarm screaming in their ear though.
The first times i wore my butt plug while in office i thought everyone could see that “sliding” and moving down my back while i was walkin from a room to another one.
my only problem is i can’t wear the small butt plug if i have to keep it inside for a long time…after a couple of hours it tries to “escape”… and it often does :)))
hugs
it was me :)
schiava – http://schiava.blogspot.com
It’s a very disconcerting feeling to be so keenly aware of your asshole. One should be able to “forget” it’s there, in my opinion.
It is amazing how the kids can sleep through the alarm blaring. Of course, i am still thankful that my daughter sleeps like the dead..that means she does not wake up at the slightest bump or “owwww” *grin*. Getting one ADHD child off to school in the morning is enough i cannot imagine getting three off to school.
The butt plug. Man oh man…just putting it in makes me weak in the knees and legs. However, Master has gotten me up to a full day with it in. It is pretty damn bad though when you have to use the bathroom…take it out…use the potty, and put it back in. You would think that He would just let you leave it out, but noooooo. When i wear it i am aware of every little movement of my rear.
aphrodite
I hear you there, my son is ADHD, though managable. And when he sleeps, he sleeps HARD. The side effect of running at full-speed when he’s awake.
I am so agreeing with you on that in and out plug thing. There needs to be a law. It’s the most unnatural feeling EVAH!
My nipples just hadn’t had enough coffee.
I cannot stop laughing at this kaya. I cannot stop. Two days now you have had me laughing. The really sad part about all that laughing, I know what you mean! That’s just pitiful!
Try changing all the alarm clocks to go off at 5:30 or 6, maybe it will scare the crap out of ‘em. *WEG* They won’t be expecting it!
Or maybe I shouldn’t have said that bad mommy idea out loud? hehe
I loved this, I really did.
magdala~
No no.. give me more bad mommy ideas. I need all the help I can get. The kids and I have a bet going on who can make the other one want to move out faster..lol..so far they are winning…;)
just wanted to say i’ve been reading your entries and i love how candid you are, i love the humor, the images, the occasional brattiness. thank you for sharing your journal with me.
also ow fucking ow!