“It is the nature of the ego to take, and the nature of the spirit to share.”
Master has another.
I’ve not been ready to share that here before now. I needed to come to terms with my own jealousy.
Even though it’s always been clear who owns who in this house, I wasn’t able to stop the growing feeling of possessiveness that I had toward him. I know he owns me. I wanted to own him.
I don’t.
Along with the jealousy that I did not expect to feel, that blindsided me with it’s viciousness and ferocity, was rejection.
You see, she was supposed to be mine. She wasn’t supposed to fall for him.
She does care for me. But not with the same affection she feels for him. I’m… an acceptable alternative for company. His presence renders me invisible to her.
I’m not entirely sure of the depth of Master’s feelings for her. Are they really that strong or does he merely enjoy watching the play of emotions cross my face as he sits with her and snuggles her and enjoys her in tender ways that aren’t for me?
I think he likes watching the venom in my eyes, knowing that I’m biting my tongue from lashing out and saying “He’s mine, bitch!” I think he likes watching the fire flare… and then fade to nothingness as I, once again, remind myself that he is not mine, that I am his, and that he can do whatever, with whomever, he pleases.
It’s very debasing, that process of thought.
Over the last few months I’ve accepted, though not without struggle or tantrum, that what he does feel for her is a much more gentle emotion than what he feels for me. I know he loves me, and it’s not that he loves her more. Just differently. She is soft.. where I am hard. She is easy where I am difficult. She is cute and young and dainty, where I am plump, aged, and clumsy.
She snuggles into his lap, a place I hold in high regard. A place that embodies all of the gentle romance that I sometimes feel for this man who owns me. A place where I’m allowed only by invite, only when his view of me pauses in seeing me as “object” and, for a small amount of time, sees me as wife and lover and all things tender. Yet, she climbs on at will, without hesitation, without invite, and is never, ever rebuked. He laughs, and he pets her, and he watches me with glinting eyes, waiting…
I don’t think that she’s full of malice in her exploits in his lap. I don’t suspect that she’s aware of how coveted that spot is. She’s utterly confident, and irritatingly innocent, of her cuteness. She simply enjoys him.
Though sometimes, when she is sitting there, she looks over at me and I can see the haughtiness in her pose. She taunts me, just a little.
It’s been months of turmoil. But I’m good now. I’m better. I can smile back at her, seated upon his lap, with genuine affection and pleasure.
And so I’m ready to share her here.
*giggle**giggle*
~cunt :D
LikeTags: pictures
Uncategorized | kaya | 
Monday January 28th, 2008 10:24am
Bwahahahahahahah!
tee hee
kaya, you had me worried a little bit there. I was sitting here reading this almost in tears and then I see the picture of the little tart. LOL. *smiles*
Kaya,
My condolences. I know how hard it must be to compete with such a pussy. ;)
LOL Oh it really is!
Kaya,
On another subject altogether, an luck on getting a reciprical link to my site?
Dave
At least spell reciprocal correctly when you’re begging for links.
oh, hell. you got me. ;)
;-) Couldn’t resist.
Too funny and i can completely relate – Master’s cat puts up with me until He’s around… she even lets me pet her, until Master waves His hand then she quickly leaves me. That lost photo – too priceless.
She was totally supposed to be mine. I’m the one who saved her! Traitor. ;-)
Wow. You had me completely fooled. Utterly and completely. I was even connecting it back to your earlier periods of not wanting pain or any of it and wondering “well duh! no wonder!”
Most impressive. And here I thought I was becoming cynical enough to always suspect. Thanks for reminding me that I am still an innocent, and gullible too.
The kitty is precious. I was missing your kitty love posts.
Thanks again!
Nothing wrong with innocence and gullible. It’s most endearing. ;-)
lol.. you are toooooooooo funny girl! thanks for the laugh! hugs, Hisflower
*grins* Glad you liked it. :-)
Oh you! And here I thought you were now poly — although you certainly captured a lot of the feelings one would have rather completely.
Well, poly is not a new discussion around here so I can easily imagine the emotions that will be involved.
ive been reading your pages for over a year now and I’ve never written anything. but as i was reading i got concerned then i saw the pictures. this was by far the funniest thing I ever saw. thanks you have brightened up my day
Aww.. thank you! I’m glad it gave you a smile. :-)
Didn’t this happen with the dog?
I promise you’ll make it through, really.
:)
Sorry I haven’t been commenting much. Always reading though.
The dog was never meant to be mine. The kitty though.. *sniffle* traiterous bitch. I saved her! ;-)
No worries on comments. I read you too.
look at that smug little slut bitches face! we have the same “problem” here…one that drools when M strokes her while she is taking over the lap and one that hisses when she is in my lap and he wants some attention ….and yes, our two slut pussies hate each other. too cute on your play for words there Kaya, I adore your posts.
She *IS* gorgeous! It’s hard to compete with that!
Fabulous post — you got me for about the first half of it, then I go suspicious and scrolled down to the pix!
I didn’t think I would fool anybody! This has been great! tee hee. It’s almost as good as April Fools!
Oh my god! I thought it was some other girl! Lol, I was almost in tears. And then I started laughing so hard I was crying.
lol.. thank you!
Hi Kaya,
I thought you were probably talking about your new kitty. That has happened to me in the past, too. Kitties are fickle little things but she is a cutie.
I’m just jealous because I saved her scrawny little butt and she chooses him over me. Hmmph. ;)
wow you a bitch in the worst way you must love playing with peoples emontions having everyone think it is another women then show a cat a stupid cat.
i supect he realy has another women and you cant face it and if your feeling are that strong about a cat you need to go see a DR about your thinking
to me and i am sure many others. This post makes me question anything you say in your blog here i used to have respect for you and what you give in service well you just lost 90% of that with this DUMB IGORANT post.
i searsouly hope YOUR MASTER SEARSOULY PUNISHES YOU AND THEN GIVES YOU TO ANOTHER TO BE MORE SEVER YOU DESERVE IT 100 FOLD .
wow i think your children have more sense than you do or you just hate ppl in general and if that is the case he should keep you locked in the house or better yet put one of thous mntering police ankle things on that shock you when you go beyond the bounderies
*snort* Are you for serious? Oh god.. this is the funniest thing I’ve ever read!
Honey, seriously, switch to decaf.
Bwahahahaha!
kaya, now i know for sure they let the nuts out….”butterfly” must be the leader of the nutsquad…. unbelievable!
to “butterfly”- please go crawl back under your dark, nasty little rock… if you dont “get” something, or like what you are reading, for heavens sake, click out… it might be a bit beyond your comprehension, but its that “little red x” up in the right hand corner… see… up there…. goshhhhhhhh.
hugs to you kaya,
Hisflower
wow you a bitch in the worst way you must love playing with peoples
emontionsemotions having everyone think it is anotherwomenwoman then show a cat a stupid cat.i
supectsuspect herealyreally has anotherwomenwoman and you cant face it and if your feeling are that strong about a cat you need to go see a DR about your thinking to me and i am sure many others. This post makes me question anything you say in your blog here i used to have respect for you and what you give in service well you just lost 90% of that with this DUMBIGORANTIGNORANT post.i
searsoulyseriously hope YOUR MASTERSEARSOULYSERIOUSLY PUNISHES YOU AND THEN GIVES YOU TO ANOTHER TO BE MORESEVERSEVERE YOU DESERVE IT 100 FOLD .wow i think your children have more sense than you do or you just hate ppl in general and if that is the case he should keep you locked in the house or better yet put one of
thousthosemnteringmonitoring police ankle things on that shock you when you go beyond thebounderiesboundariesThere was still more to be fixed – I was just starting. How can you be so mean to Kaya when your post clearly shows your own ignorance? Quit throwing stones in glass houses.
What happened to my edits?!!! ARGH!!
I can see the words you typed in. What code did you use? Maybe I can fix it.
There were a bunch of strikeouts. :(
I fixed it. I dunno why they didn’t work the first time. Weird.
Ah well. I think this post must have struck too close to home for her. Poor girl.
I bet April Fool’s Day is a hoot at her house. *snort*
Butterfly!!!! Seriously…it’s called sarcasm you dumb bitch. It’s called a joke….wordplay…a prank…fun…humour,something you obviously have no sense or concept of.
I feel sorry for you being so stupid and narrow minded to not be able to tell the difference between humor and reality. For thinking she was serious and talking about another woman. The only person that should see a Doctor here is you, you dillusional maniac! Being small minded enough to let something like this bother YOU. Whatever crawled up your ass and died? It’s obviously making you cranky and irrational!!!!
Maybe YOU’RE the one who’s jealous of the attention and love that Kaya gets…from her master, from her readers and fans, even from the snubby kitty. If that’s the only arsenal you have to attack someone…I laugh at your feeble effort! Nice job for making an ass of yourself more than anything!!! Thank you for being the living proof of the deterioraton of mankind and common sense as we know it. Thanks for the laugh…it was a nice cherry on top of Kaya’s post.
Hm… cock-blocked by a pussy?
She is a devious little sneak. Do you see that look on her face!?
I think she is adorable. She knows she is the queen! :)
You know… you covered all my fears in a post about a cat lol
LOL
I know it was a glib post, but the fears are real, as is the possibility. Just not yet, so I’m secure in that.
WE
HATE
YOU!!!
Or to quote pony just a moment ago — “She’s on our poopie list!!!”
I made the poopie list!!!
I made the poopie list!
Nanananeener!
What do I get? A cookie or sumfin?
You got me too! I was just getting ready to post a comment offering to talk about poly any time you needed help processing. It sounds like this is still a possibility for you, so don’t hesitate if you desire. Although, I get the impression that you have plenty of close friends already do help you with something like this and I probably wouldn’t make the list.
Anyway, I hope you are able to get past your feline jealousy hehe. I linked you from my new blog, I hope that is ok. Let me know if you want it down.
Bridget
Thanks for linking me. I look forward to reading you too.
And thanks also for the offer of help. I don’t have a list, but if I were to make one, your name goes on it! ;-)
Yeah, you got me, too. Especially with what’s going on over at Slut on Display.
Ahh.. I didn’t realize there was stuff going on over there. Thanks for letting me know.
Omigods, you totally had me. I was all geared up to give you cyberhugs n tell you that I hoped it got easier for you and blah blah blaaaaaah.
(tinyvoice)bitch(/tinyvoice)
*giggle*
That was good. Score for kaya.
*snicker snort giggle*
This is great. I am laughing myself silly over here. :D :D
+1
w00t!!
you were getting me too! Then I started getting suspicious and was hoping it was all about the cat.LOL great post!
Holly
I didn’t figure I would fool anyone at all! Good for you! You know how my mind works.. tee hee.
You evil bitch. And yeah, yeah, I know I don’t know you well enough to call you that, but too damned bad.
To say that my hackles were up was a minor understatement. I was talking myself down in my head. “Now Pag…you KNOW Kara’s relationship doesn’t look like yours. Don’t be judgmental. Just because you’d go off the deep end and gleefully cause him to shed his mortal coils by death of a thousand cuts doesn’t make it WRONG…just DIFFERENT.”
I subject myself to a PC rant so you can get a cheap laugh?
I like the way you’re mind works, girl. You TOTALLY got me. ROFLMAO
Sorry for the typo – KAYA. See how worked up you got me???
*snort snicker*
I am an evil bitch! Ha haha ha hahahaha!
But I do thank you for ranting on my behalf. *snicker*
How did I know it was the cat?! (She’s getting sooo big, btw.) Perhaps it’s because our furry baby is currently occupying D’s lap while I sit to the side, sick and miserable!
Must be the heat coming off the balls or something..lol. All I know is if his lap is open, she is on it like flies on shit. Traiterous whore. I’m the one who saved her! *sniffle*
Hope you feel better soon!
THAT was NOT nice.
Not nice at all.
Here I was, all sick to my stomach and wanting to cry…
You absolute BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)
Omg, the cat is fucking adorable.
You have a warped and sick sense of humor.
When are we meetin’ up? Hehe.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! I love me today. :D
Soon! we must meet soon. Didja get my email?
Kaya, and I thought that it was a dog. :)
I would only be jealous of another pussy Paul, you know that! ;-)
How come your not jealous of another bitch? Lol, Im so kidding.
I’d never have expected THIS post from you if this had really happened. I expect that you will be good and kewl and secure and stable and all the things that I never ever seem to manage in the face of this sort of thing. So… as I read through this, I was pretty darn sure it was a put on. Not sure where the hook was, but pretty clear that there WAS a hook.
See? I believe in you.
hugs, swan
Oh my gosh, I got all sad and pitiful for you!
You’re a boob! *giggles madly*
LOL YOu are such a bitch… lololol!!!!
and hairy pussy at that… maybe its a cat thing – that’s why you dont get to shave.. ROFLAMO@!!!!!
Just wait ’til it’s not a cat!
i knew it was a cat. All along i knew it was a cat! And boy, how i fucking nodded my head through this entire post. You imagined it all perfectly…when it’s NOT a cat!
xoxx
–toy
i had a feeling this was coming. like swan, i didn’t think you’d be posting this kind of thing in this kind of way. :)
cute kitty though!
keth
xx
Damn i had a pit in my stomach thinking what if???
Shit you totally had me going, LOVE IT!
Thanks for the good laugh and very cute pussy.
s bootsie
I knew that’s what it was going to be! Hahaha, soo cute.
Brat
great blog
kinda figure that it was your pussy cat
i know your master owns your “pussy”
hehe, while reading that, I thought you may have gotten a puppy–they respond to dominant people very well. All of our kitties have been “alpha kitties” (according to the vet) so they looked upon everyone with disdain equally. I think maybe she knows that you are not the alpha kitty.
you dirty little tease
must be hard competing with another pussy in the house :)
OK, you got us BOTH! We both say “awwwwwwwww”. :-)
Daddy & His girl
Remember-all she can ever be is his pussy at best-but you offer him so much more. Kneel to her control for you will never chamge his feelings for her. But as she grows older they will tend to drift apart to the point you can insert yourself back as his only one.
Be patient young pussies tend to shift their devotions and lose interest in time.
Once a pussy always a pussy, but you my dear are a complete woman and lady thru and thru. So show your man how much more you can give besides pussy.
*laugh*
you’re terrible!
Oh you evil girl, my heart was pouring with sympathy and irritation and oh my God that cat is cute.
Loved it, knew you were talking about an animal but what a great post! Beautiful pussy(cat). I have one that treats me like I’m invisible except at feeding time, the rest of the time she’s in his lap too.
:D:D
I loved this entry!!
Thank you Kaya
kaya…you are EVIL!!
i sit here at 5:00 AM nekkid but for collar and leash, waiting for Master’s coffee to be done…and you make me run through the full range of emotions! 1) What would i do? (kill) 2) What will kaya do? 3) i guess i really am NOT a slave? 4) Poor, poor cunt…she is so much more submissive to be able to WATCH this all in her own home. 5) Well, this is why he MADE her go back to work. (thank heaven, now when she leaves him she and the children can eat!) and finally 6)THERE IS NO WAY kaya’s MASTER HAS GONE SOFT!!! That’s when i started thinking you were talking about a dawg…we have a MinPin and while she is “mine” she totally goes for the alpa male..i find the little bitch snuggling up to Him all the time when she thinks i won’t catch her!
That little pussy is smirking at us, girl!! What a great post! Just what i needed to start the day…a giant belly laugh (scared the dog right off my lap!) as well as a chance to confront my own inner green eyed demon.
Just a reminder for me about limits…as i have said before…we all have them…we just don’t know what they are yet..as for me, i have to be content with the knowledge that i am collared by the right owner for ME..and take my comfort in hoping His limits will be safely mine. Thank you for getting me to the point before the cut away of coming to a belief that if Master did demand “that” from me, i would be able to accept it…but the “other” would suffer until she ran!! Is that slavery?? Who gives a crap?? Gets me through the day!!
Big HUGZ!
~s/nik~
that’s the first time a little pussy made me laugh so hard ;)
EVIL, EVIL, EVIL!!!!
Good post, by the way!
Those photos are purrrrrrfect and tell the story completely. You had me going for about half the post, and then i had an ‘aha’ and realized the joke was coming.
i needed the smile. :-)
minx
*snicker* cute, yes… you had me going, and i was thinking hard about what you’ve said. having been th “new girl” myself, i was reading what you said, and going, “okay, melly.. try to see things from that point of view…” and also reading it from a “she was supposed to be mine” point of view, and really hitting it hard with THAt one (having been THERE before too.)..
honestly, it WAS funny. i DID laugh when i got to the pics of the kitty. (and she’s gorgeous!! i LOVE kitties colored like that! i call it the fugly mix *grin*)
but honestly, i think your post has really sparked som thoughts in me.
thanks for the laugh!.. and thanks for the post too.. i needed it both ways it came across.
~melly
(oh, and what the heck is up with that butterfly moron? jesus. she gets the special internet olympics medal for SURE!)
OMG! I was worried there for a second! The entire post tugged HARD at my heartstrings and I just wanted to hug you!
Bu it’s a CAT.
Master MADE me come and read . . . I was afraid, dear Kaya. I couldn’t STAND the thought of you hurting like that! OMG, she is PRECIOUS .. . the first pic is wonderful. So glad it is what it is . . . .
andaray :-)
I knew it was going to be something like that! Giggles!
Also…Squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!
Great Post! Tortie’s are always lil bitches!