In Master, We Trust
We were sitting on the couch, watching tv. (American Idol, ftw!) Master had been snacking on bits of cheese that he was slicing off of a block of mozzarella with a steak knife. When he was done, he just handed the whole mess to me. Knife, garbage, leftover cheese.
I was watching American Idol so, you know, it says somewhere in the rule book that I don’t have to get up and clean his mess until the show is over.
It’s in the fine print, I’m sure of it.
I started fiddling with the knife, making mock stabbing motions at him and saying “Obey me, Bitch!”
Srsly. It was funny. I thought.
He doesn’t even do or say anything. Perfect deadpan. So I take the knife and I very slowly, and very carefully, and very steadily, put the point of it up his nostril.
Oh come ON. Like you wouldn’t??
He doesn’t even blink.
Just cuts his eyes at me and… waits.
So I stop. Because, I’m not completely STOOPID. Just… marginally stupid, perhaps.
A few more segments of the show go by (in other words, he waited until my guard was down. Fucker.) and then he plucks the knife outta my limp hand and quips, “My turn!”
And I?
Freaked. The. Fuck. Out.
Like, I suddenly became a herculean octupus. I wasn’t about to hold still for him to stick a steak knife up my nose. No way, no how. Nuh-uh. Wadn’t happenin’.
He’s half-heartedly trying to pin me down, I’m laughing and screaming and doing Exorcist-type moves with my head. All I could see was the very sharp and very shiny point of that steak knife out of the corner of my eye and it scared me fucking silly.
He demanded that I sit still and I tried, I really really tried, but it was instinct, I tell you! He’d get close, I see it, and, fucking fight or flight? I was doing both!
This went on for hours. Well, okay not hours. But long enough that I’d started to sweat and my throat hurt from screaming for my life.
He, of course, was nothing but amused.
Finally he stands up and in mock indignation, with his hands on his hips, exclaims, “I can’t BELIEVE that you don’t trust me! You untrusting bitch. I’m hurt.”
I’m trying to tell him how it is but he was having none of it. He was all “talk to the hand cuz the face ain’t listening!” butt-hurt about it! He wouldn’t let me touch him, he wouldn’t let me kiss him…
He wouldn’t even let me stick my poor cold feet under his ass when we went to bed. He said if he can’t stick a knife in my face, I can’t stick my feet in his ass.
Is he a sore loser or what??
Well! He can’t shut me up HERE so as I was trying to explain to him last night-
I DO trust him. In the following ways:
I trust him to be a sadist.
I trust him to make it hurt.
I trust him to always push it just a little past fun.
I trust him to make me bleed.
I trust him to always do exactly what he wants to do.
I trust him to make me cry at every possible opportunity.
Now, there’s going to come a time, probably in my very near future, when I will be tied down somewhere and he’s going to get a knife and he’s going to poke it up my nose. And it’s going to hurt.
How do I know this?
Because.
Because I trust him like that.
Uncategorized | kaya | 
Thursday January 14th, 2010 6:36am
clothespin on the nose as defense-mechanism??? that’s all i got…sorry.
why oh why *imagines you poking steak knife up the M’s nostril, and shakes head – whilst also pissing self laughing*
i think i love you. heh.
I dont know why!! lol. It always seems like such a good idea at the time.
off on a tangent – saw this and thought of you…
…and pissed myself laughing.
(there’s a pattern developing here, no?)
http://icanhascheezburger.com/2010/01/13/funny-pictures-remoov-ur-hand/
LMFAO.
I know that look.
“He said if he can’t stick a knife in my face, I can’t stick my feet in his ass. ”
Hahahaha oh god you guys have me laughing out loud over this hahaahaha!
This is the most romantic blog I’ve read in so long!
I think the trust a cunt has for her Owner is the most beautiful thing in the world.
[rq=1859813,0,blog][/rq]Goddamn
Great morning laugh after being up with a cranky baby all night….thank you! :)
You ever see “Chinatown”? Just you wait…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nAQweh5098Y&feature=related
So I left this off earlier…sheesh.
You do know that my stomach turned itself in a complete circle when I watched that. Why would you do that to me!?
…amazing…always a new boundary to face brought about in the most “innocent” of ways….go figure…enjoy
Oh god, Kaya, I understand. I always get so nervous about knives in my master’s hand. And my master hasn´t even ever cut me! Crossing fingers for you…
In fareness if we were taking “He said if he can’t stick a knife in my face, I can’t stick my feet in his ass.” as the possible options and being literal about it, KNIFE in the NOSE everytime.
has to be the funniest scene i’ve ever pictured in my head. better hope it *is* a knife up the nose and he doesn’t know about the whole fork thing…..
nilla
[rq=1871604,0,blog][/rq]You know you’re in a D/s relationship when…
*lol* You two are just wonderful! Thanks for the laugh of today!
[rq=1872088,0,blog][/rq]A slave, to the core of my being
Him: What are you reading?
Me: kaya’s Blog
Him: Uh huh, and?
Me: (turning laptop to him while laughing crazily) It ISN’T JUST ME!!!!!!!
:)
[rq=1878860,0,blog][/rq]Tangelo Tangent
LOL
It’s always nice to know we aren’t alone!
Oh god I could see myself doing that too…I’m so happy I’m not the “special” kind of crazy. There are other crazy people just like me…yay!
Crazy is all around us!
safe, sane and consensual… unless you’re the slave?
Ugh. SSC isn’t in our vocabulary.
Just, yanno, hold still while the knife is up there.
Inner nose knife cuts hurt like a bitch. :P
[rq=1897784,0,blog][/rq]15 Minutes of Nothingness
Voice of experience? :P
Can you try my site now, Kaya? M. moved it to a different server. (finally!)
[rq=1902919,0,blog][/rq]Watershed Moment
It loads up perfectly now, but Phranks’s site won’t load.
This just cracked me up! kaya you always cheer me up!
annabella
This had me dying laughing! I think its a lovely showing of how a real D/s relationship functions in daily life. i loved it! hope he heard you this time ;)
[rq=1910245,0,blog][/rq]3
It is sooo cute! i want one too!
[rq=1963234,0,blog][/rq]A whirlwind i didn’t understand at the time.