I heart Kink education and awareness

Sadly, I’ll be in Ireland during that time but have fun for me!

My SO is vehemently against marriage because he grew up in a marriage where his parents hated each other and his dad was verbally as well as emotionally abusive to his mom. We wonder why they haven’t gotten a divorce yet, but I sometimes think he just uses her since she’s the bread winner and he hasn’t paid for a lot of things.

When my great-grandmother (mom’s mom’s mom) was pregnant with my grandma, she lied to a guy that the baby was his in order for him to marry her. Well, because the guy found out my grandma wasn’t his, he treated her like shit (like physically and verbally abused her). It’s a situation that proves that it’s better to remain unwedded than get married becuase my grandmother would’ve been better off without a father in that situation. Oh, and they were poor.

Sometimes, I’m tempted to be a smart ass to people that go “Oh, if a child has two gay/lesbian parents…they will turn out gay too!” my response? “Oh really? If that was the case, do explain how both of my parents are heterosexual and I am bisexual”.

I’m okay with it. I’ve called them a few times, always getting the answering machine and no call back. Okay, it’s cool. Save your cash at Christmas and leave me alone.

My mom’s side of the family doesn’t talk to me because, when my grandmother was on life support, my mom made the decision (with her three siblings) to pull the plug. (Grandma died in seven minutes – she was BRAIN DEAD). Well, all Grandma’s siblings decided that my mother KILLED her own mother, and should’ve paid to put her in a nursing home forever and ever. So, they don’t talk to me, don’t acknowledge my existance.

I’m okay with that.

Daddy’s parents don’t really talk with us – his Dad hasn’t contacted us since we moved up here a few years ago, and his mom only calls every once in awhile to go, “You still have a monther, did you FORGET?”) I’m okay with it.

I prefer to fill my life with the family of MY choosing.

Speaking of family – look at me and my own kid. I was a little older than Jes – I was 20 for all of 25 days before he was born. I don’t ‘technically’ get the Teen Mommy award, but yanno what? That’s where I put myself. Why? Because I was young and dumb and unstable in so many ways, and didn’t even WANT a kid…in fact I was on the pill. (Was Jes? I think I remember you saying that. If so, was she on Ortho Trycyclene? Because EVERY woman that’s got a pill baby that I know of was on that specific one…) Anyway… I think I’m doing okay. I’m not perfect. Who is? I struggle, every day. But…my kid’s a good boy. He’s smart, in his own way. He’s huge and rough and tumble – but gentle with all of our pets. He’s compassionate. He uses his manners. He still chews with his mouth open and argues with me at every opportunity and refuses to wipe his own ass…BUT…I love him. If I could turn back time to not have a baby, or even to do it differently…I would not.

And I’m going to watch his PRESCHOOL GRADUATION in just a little while. My heart is bursting and breaking all at once. Y’all will be just fine when that little girl gets here.

And…fatass? I doubt it. Even if you are…your body is just a house for your soul. Don’t forget to love it, even if it’s not the shape you’d like it to be.

*Hugs*