How to Pluck a Chicken
First, one has to find a chicken.
That would be me. ~waves~ Chicken-shit right here.
So yesterday I got a comment. Lovely comment it was, short and sweet, came with a link to a video. Now I love me some shared s&m ideas, so I read the short and sweet message of “would master like to consider this solution to the hair issue?” and hollered out to Master to come watch it with me.
He did.
Now. Here’s the thing.
Me? Reluctant masochist. I have a hate/hate relationship with pain. You see there at the end how that amazingly brave and wonderful guy has that spontaneous orgasm as a direct result of intense pain? Yeah. That does not happen for me. I don’t orgasm from pain. Well, okay maybe I do when it’s that perfect nipple pain, but I sure as fuck ain’t gonna from hair plucking!
Anyway, back to the hate/hate thing — I hate that I have to be hurt. Srsly. I don’t LIKE pain at all. It hurts. A lot. I go into it dragging my heels and cursing the Genetic Gods that created me in this manner. I got brown hair, short legs, small tits, and a need for pain. Thank You God, you sadistic bastard.
For me, this is the major difference between a “pain slut” and a “masochist”. Y’all may define it differently or even see no difference between the two words at all, but seeing that I live in kaya’s world where I create my own bdsm-language, they are two different words with two different meanings. A pain slut (not me) LIKES pain, craves it, gets off on it, it makes them randy. A masochist (me) NEEDS it for whatever fucked up reason, and it feeds some portion of them in a manner that is not (entirely) sexual. It’s like taking bad tasting medicine. It has to be done for the after-effects. The during-effects suck fat dick.
So when Master discusses with me the mechanics of duct tape hair removal, I am not jittering with masochistic glee. My pussy is not wet. I am not eagerly anticipating the day. What I AM is cotton-mouthed, dry-heaving scared. My stomach churns and I think I might vomit, I envision running away and make panicked plans on where I can go and who I can stay with. I even hate Him a little. Maybe a lot, but who’s keeping track?
And that’s why, as we sat watching the video so generously shared with us by subsquare99, I watched with my mouth hanging open, my legs firmly crossed and tears in my eyes and Master watched with a grin on His face and a twinkle in His eye while getting a chubby. Because He is an eager sadist and I am a reluctant masochist.
/armchair psychology.
The hair continues to grow. I’m no longer just Sas-crotch, but the full Sasquatch. The armpit hair no longer leaves neat-o trails in my stick deodorant, but now lays flat, greased down by my stick deodorant. It is brushable.
Master looks at my leg hair and each time He does, He grabs some to pull. Apparently there is a magic pull-length that I have not reached yet. He also makes faces, cringes and ewws. *sigh* Humiliation games are fun.
Now, fer real people. There is NOTHING even remotely sexy about those legs on a woman. Nothing. I’m trying to come to terms with what His reasons are for making me feel unattractive. Or, more accurately, for turning me into something that HE does not find attractive. I know there are other people who dabble in this sort of thing and if you read Slut On Display, you’ll know about the complicated relationship her Owner has with her tits that He does/does not like.
It really is complicated and hard to grasp. On one hand, I can try and brush it off as being something He’s doing as a means to an end. He *wants* to cause me pain through hair removal and the only way to do that is to let it grow, a process that is just as unpleasant for Him as it is for me. However, while that may or may not explain the cunt hair, it does not apply to the leg/armpit hair. I don’t think duct tape hair removal is in the plans for the legs and pits. Or, it may be in the plans but merely because it happens to be there when He has duct tape in His hands, that wasn’t the purpose or plan when He took my razor privileges away. There is more to it and I can’t figure it out.
Or maybe there isn’t. Maybe it’s purely a whim and I’m giving Him too much credit. *snicker*
Either way, that video up there? If that happens, you’ll hear me screaming wherever you are.
Okay, that other picture isn’t of MY legs. But that’s where they’re headed!! Good God.
These are mine. It’s worse than it looks, trust me.
I am not taking pictures of my disgusting armpits. But I do have a hairy cunt picture. Oh lucky you!
Meh. Nasty.
Anyway. Enough about hair. And thank you for the video link, subsquare99. We were both impressed. You are amazing. 
I was tagged by more than one person and I figure that trumps Master’s meme preferences. Hey, majority rules, man. Master’s been out-voted. *beams*
The Rules-
* Link to your tagger and list these rules on your blog.
* Share 7 facts about yourself on your blog – some random, some weird.
* Tag 7 people at the end of your post by leaving their names as well as links to their blog.
* Let them know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.
1. I’m the youngest of nine kids. I’m also the most normal and well-adjusted of the bunch. Take from that what you will. 
2. My mother spent a large part of her childhood traveling with a carnival and working a booth as a carny. One of the things she did was palm-reading. Before I got married the first time at age 19, she (jokingly) read my palm and told me I would be married 3 times and have 3 kids.
3. Master is my 3rd husband and I have 3 kids. (My first marriage ended in divorce after 3 kids in 4 years. I was widowed the second time.)
4. I have had both electric shock therapy and “truth serum” therapy. And I am STILL the most normal one in my family. We put the “funk” in dysfunctional.
5. At one time I was a suspected anorexic and weighed less than a hundred pounds. Now I’m a confirmed overeater and need to lose about 40lbs. Irony? No? I can never grasp the concept of irony.
6. When I was a kid (around age 6 or 7) I used to pick all of the marshmallows out of the box of Lucky Charms, put them in a bowl, cover it with chocolate sauce, and force myself to eat it to the point of vomiting — and then some. The game I was playing with myself was of dominance and force, though I didn’t know it at the time. I carried on a sick and twisted dialogue in my head of “do it or else” though I don’t know that I ever defined the “or else” part then. I ‘graduated’ over the years of my adolesence from Lucky Charms and chocolate sauce to eating cigarette butts and licking ashtrays to sucking on the bottoms of shoes and scrubbing toilets with my tongue. Strangely (luckily?) I never picked up germs or got sick. I figure I’ve been a pervert since birth, with a strong tilt toward taste/forced gross stuff. It’s not something I engage in very often or to the point of recklessness that I did as a kid. I’m far too aware of germs these days and it’s ruining that kink. (and I still maintain I’m the normal one!)
7. When I get angry I play minesweeper. I’m currently on a 96 game losing streak of minesweeper. I’m not sure it’s helping the anger.
It’s taken me hours to think of these facts. I am incredibly not interesting. That’s rather depressing.
I think almost everyone I read has done this meme. If not, consider yourself tagged by me! Dweaver? you should do it in my comment section unless you have a blog somewhere that I don’t know about? You are definitely tagged though. I’m popping your meme cherry.
~cunt
Uncategorized | kaya | 
Friday October 24th, 2008 8:34am
The things you learn when you read a blog…
I had no idea you had been widowed. Im sorry to hear that.
As for the plucking, yeah I cant pluck my damn eyebrows without welling up tears. Fuck that cunt plucking shit!
My second husband committed suicide when I asked him for a divorce.
That’s why I kinda avoid the self-harm (except in a bdsm sense!)/suicide topic. When I said some of us quiet ones are pulling for you, I meant it. It’s never, ever the way to go. That is not the mess one wants to leave behind. You know if you want to talk, I don’t have a lot of time for emailing, but don’t hesitate. I’m a real good listener.
that clip made my eyes water…jeebus!!!
will your depilation ritual be displayed in the same manner?
also do you think He will save the pubic hair till last after doing all the other bits first as a *warm up event* ???
rather you than me dear! *clutches razor tightly and runs off to shave*
There is no doubt in my mind that He will record and share the entire thing. No doubt at all.
-whimper- I’m the same with everyone else. I do my eyebrows half at a time because I’m whiny about that area of my face. I’m a masochist, for sexual and non-sexual reasons. (maybe I’ll write about it some day. I’m almost in the condition to handle it)
But god, that clip! Cum + Open wounds = AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
D: I am not a happy kitty right now. That WAS a lot of cum, though.
That was an awesome ending. I loved it.
Kaya –
I truly hope, for your sake, that your Master is leaning more towards the duct tape option. I’ve been waxed, plucked, etc., and while I enjoy pain (somewhat sometimes)… that video made my eyes tear!!! I think this was enough to make me not feel bratty about having to shave all the time
Always His,
lalana
You think duct tape would be better than what that guy had? lol. I’m not sure!
I should add that He has no intention of being quick with the duct tape. It won’t be like a waxing. Slow and easy to make sure not much skin comes with it. Bah.
That is an amazing clip. Thanks to you for putting it up and to the authors for making it. I thought it was very cool, but, then, I’m sure you knew that
Mr. Upton Ogood
It was very cool. I was incredibly impressed. That orgasmic ending was da bomb!
My heart was in my throat the entire time I watched that. Dear god.
It was really fascinating when the hair finally start to give way, and it looks like it came off really cleanly–but oh my god, the pain.
I know! It seemed once it started to go that it went very smoothly and easily. But fuckin A, it looked like he was being lifted off the floor by his pubes! Yowsers.
Didn’t know about your loss, too bad. Great clip, going to go join
just to see the other two. Nice to see the other half getting some.
Waiting like everyone else to see what happens in your case. Enjoy the weekend and thanks.
I wish I knew when it was happening, but I know it’s not anytime real soon (I don’t think). Master is currently working 12+ hour shifts, 7 days a week and next week He’s going out of town. Sooooo… who knows. I’ll be a damn walking Big Foot by the time He gets to it.
Ow. My. Fucking. God. I’m never, ever coming close to wanting that to happen to my pubes! I mean, yes, I can orgasm from someone digging their nails in my leg or slapping me or hitting me, but… Drawn out, painful-pain? No fucking way. No way. I hate that. Just as much as I hate thump-pain. I want sharp, cane-, knife-, bloodcooling-pain.
I saw that first pic of a hairy leg and thought something like “Jeebus Christ! She’ IS hairy!” Now I’m like… dissapointed.
Hmm… I seriously need a camera to show you mine. I haven’t shaved my legs in two months. Go figure.
And bum. Now I’m meme tagged. I’ve never done a meme. I guess I’ll have to go blog about that. Woe is me!
I wanna see your legs!
If I only had a camera…
I don’t though. Just a webcam, and it sucks. It’s stuck to my laptop. I’m so voting for a digital camera for christmas.
Besides, I bothered to shave today. Someone *cough* complained a little about them today…
OMG, I watched that clip like watching a horror film or something where you know what’s coming. You know, where you’re all tense and want to watch/don’t want to watch, bite the fingernails kinda thing!
Um, but since Master enjoys reading your blog as much as I do and I noticed a litle stubble this morning, I think I’ll just go ahead and take care of that right now!
lol.. I did too! Through my fingers just like I watch the movies.
OK here’s the thing. I didn’t. I couldn’t. I started it & stopped it 20 seconds in. Fuckabunchathat.
Oh you’re missing out. You gotta watch the end. It’s way cool.
Kaya,
Oh my God! What a wicked video. Good thing I’m not a submissive.
I think you’ll find the irony of talking about taking my meme cherry quite facinating given what I’m about to write. let’s see, seven things about myself, both weird and random. I’m going to break rules three and four since I only follow four blogs and one of them is forbidden to meme. Anyway, here goes.
1: Exactly one week ago today, I lost my status as a virgin and a vanilla. See, three cherries in one week.
2: When I was a kid, I always made sure that I stepped across a multiple of four white road lines and a multiple of two yellow road lines. Did I mention that I’m a math teacher?
3: I played D&D when it first came out, back when it was the boxed set of small pamplets–Wizards and Warriors, Wilderness encounters, Treasure and Magid, Greyhawk, Blackmoor, and Eldrith Wizardry. That was in 1977.
4: I started writing erotica two years ago because I wanted a source of stroke material and then found that I couldn’t stand writing something that didn’t have a real story in it.
5: I delivered papers as a kid and woiuld take twice as long as needed because I would read the “true crime” magazines in the newsstand for erotic thrills. I guess I’ve always been into BDSM, such as it was.
6: I’ve been beaten by my dad twice, once for trying to stop him from beating my mom and once for telling him that I loved my mom after their divorce.
7: It took me 23 years to get my BA degree, thanks to being unmotivated at age 20 and spending 19 years in a dead end job at a parking garage. Now I have a masters and teach at the university level.
8: Since eight is the number of new beginnings and I’ve certainly had that in the last week, one extra, just for you Kaya. I once pretended to be a submissive woman online named Janet Wilson. I hurt a lot of feelings and have regetted it ever since. As a result, I won’t even write with a pen name. dweaver999 is an email name and not very effective at hiding who I am.
Well, that’s it. Probably more than you wanted to know. Toodle-oo.
Dave
Wow Dave. You would be my man if I didn’t already have one. In fact… you’re a lot LIKE my man, right down to the D&D out of the box in 1977! I love those ungeeky ubergeek domly types. My fav doms fall into that category.
There is not a chance in hell that you get to say “one week ago today, I lost my status as a virgin and a vanilla” and NOT give me more details than that. Come on! I thought I was your friend!
Master was an early D&D player too. Probably not in ’77 as I don’t think He was old enough then, but definitely in the 80′s.
come on Dave, i want to know too!!! spill!!!
Kaya,
I was 19 in 1977 and fresh out of high school. A friend got me interested in D&D and there’s been no turning back. Of course, my early games were very Monty Hall and lacked imagination, but I’ve gotten better.
Really, Kaya, you know a gentleman doesn’t fuck and tell. Good thing I’m not a gentleman.
I have a dear friend from overseas who’s a submissive/slave. We’d been emailing and then video chatting for about a year now. She was planning on a vaction that involved traveling through the states and taking a cruise. We decided to get together in person for a weekend in Anahiem and go to Disneyland (Disney and sex, not the pair you were expecting, was it). We had not planned to do the sex thing from the beginning, but things change.
Out of the blue, about a month before we leave, her Master contact me by email and tells me that I am free to use his slave for my enjoyment any way I want while we’re together. To say I was floored would be an understatement. I mean, if she’d told me this when we got together, I’d probabl had declined, but with a month to think and fantasize about it, the idea grew and by the time I flew out eight days ago, I knew I wanted to.
To make a long story short, We did have sex, several times and at her encouragement, I dominated her in bed some, using some nipple clamps (apparently she loved tit torture) and my belt on her. I discovered that I love eating pussy, that whipping is fun, not because I like giving pain, but because I love that she lets me. I also adore a woman’s face when she’s in the throes of cumming and could finger fuck her for hours if she wanted (and even if she didn’t if she’s submissive
). All in all, I think we spent from 8-10 hours in sexual activities over the 48 hours together.
We also did go to Disney’s calinfornia Adventure park and had a blast. The Hollywood Hotel Tower ride is to die for (and has the heart attack warning signs to prove it). I swear, by camera case flew up two feet at one point, we were dropping so fast. The california Screamer roller coaster will take your breath away and the Grrr water ride is the perfect way to cool down on an 85 degree day (they say you will get wet and you may get soaked–no lie there).
My only regret was that she offered me the chance to experience a day of lifestyle D/s by taking total control of our day at the park; make all choices about when, where, what for rides, food, etc. I missed that she was essentially asking me to take that control and held off, thinking I wasn’t ready. If I’d realised that she wanted it that badly, I wold have been able to do it just fine, I think. I think I cold do anythikng to/with a submissive if I knew she needed it as part of her submission. Maybe next time, it there is one.
Now, it’s like something’s woken up in me. I want more and am trying to contact my local BDSM group and see about attending a munch or two and try and learn a bit. They’re a SCC/RACK group, but that’s okay. Now I’ve just got to figure out how, with absolutely no dating experiance (beyond one online dating service try) one goes about finding a submissive to play with, and maybe develope a relationship with.
If you want more of the sexual details, email me at my link and I’ll send a name censored copy of the report I sent her Master. Be sure the subject line says something kaya’s blog so I won’t relegate your request to the spam drawer. I won’t recognize most of your email adrrsses and I never open things I don’t recognize.
Dave
Ok Dave, you’ve pulled me out of the woodwork with this one.
I’d love to hear some details, too – but mostly I’m *very* curious how it all looks now that you’re on the other side. Spill, man, spill!
And since I’m pretty sure I’m one of those four (well I was, at least), I’ll consider myself tagged.
blue
Blue,
Yes, you still are one of the four. I was just sure that Kaya had already tagged you.
As for how it looks from this side of the fence? I thought I understood how dominants and submissives thought and felt before, and to a degree I did. But now, it’s like beffe was looking through that frosted glass they put in bathrooms, you can see and make things out, but it’s cloudy and indistinct. Now, it’s like the window’s been cleaned. The biggest surprise for me was how little orgasms were in importance to me. I only came once the whole time and that didn’t bother me at all. What was important was seeing her have her peasure and needs met. That’s why I regret not taking control of our day in the park. I used nipple clamps on her because she loves it, but I belted her tits and ass, not because she enjoys it (she doesn’t), but because she wants to be used like that; forced to endure something unpleasant by someone strong enough to do it. Even though I could tell how much she wanted the belting to stop, she never begged for a stop or used her safe word–she did beg to know how many more, and that seemed to strengthen her.
Blue, I undertand so much clearer your, Kaya’s and Toy’s need to be used and hurt now. Seeing her bask in the knowledge that she’d pleased me and suffered for me was such a turn on and eye opener. I think I always understood that you wanted this, and a little of why, but now it’s like it makes so much sense. I don’t know any other way to put it right now.
BTW the meme was fun. I may have to start a blog just to be able to do them more. I just have to find the time. Teaching an overload clas this quarter is eating up anything resembling free time. In fact, I’m going to regret taking this time from my backlog of grading. back to the grind stone (You nkow I love it-the teaching- though
)
Dave
you know, i think your pussy looks just fine unshaven.
just my two cents.
I do too. LOL
I’m really doing fine with the pussy. I mean, I would like it better if I could *at least* do the bikini line and the ass crack and maybe keep it trimmed to a shorter length, but actually having hair there isn’t so bad. It’s certainly easy to maintain.
But the whole rest of the body? Ugh. Not so fine.
“Master looks at my leg hair and each time He does, He grabs some to pull. Apparently there is a magic pull-length that I have not reached yet.”
I trust that that day will come Kaya. I am going on 16months of not shaving my legs. In fact, He pulled on my leg hairs with his toes just yesterday, in the company of my mum. And just to let you know, it’s been more than 10months since a razor has seen under my arms.
It’s really not so bad.
Lucy
young dumb and full of cum
Ok, Dave pulled me out of hiding with the cherry popping fest …
1. That video is incredible; I am in awe. I *love* spontaneous orgasms. Thanks so much to subsquare for sharing.
2. I could only wish my bush would look like that after so long without the razor. I look like that after two weeks. I always kind of wondered what went through the doctor’s minds each time I gave birth – I imagine the first look always made them think something like ‘oh, she has a stuffed animal waiting for the baby’.
3. Isn’t amazing how we can look back and see the beginnings? It really isn’t a choice we make or something that began out of abuse. It’s the way we’re born. Hardwired from the start.
4. I miss you so very badly. I’d say call me but Bright House royalled fucked up our phone servie and right now we can’t receive calls. I’d say I’ll call you (I can make calls, just not receive them. Have you ever heard such nonsense?), but Jonathan finally found something to be early at – the terrible two. Quiet, personal time isn’t something I have in abundance right now. Still, though, as soon as I get a few quiet moments …
:-*
I don’t know if that guy got off from the pain, or if his dick was cumming in self defense.. holy hell.
Yowser! That video is intense. I’m gonna have to share that with Master. He will prolly sport a chubby as well watching it. I sat with my hand over my mouth eyes as big as half dollars thinking OMG! The end of that was amazing. I even watched it twice.
I am demented. So twisted. I wouldn’t want that to happen to me but for some reason I enjoyed watching his torture. *big cheesy grin*..And I’m a slave…Go figure.
Theresa made me do that meme too. Damn woman and those memes.
wow!-i was watching that video hiding my eyes with my hands and peaking a smidge between my fingers. then when he came i was “holy cumload batman-that is fucking hot!”.
Mistress now has me on razor restriction after being inspired by an earlier post of yours. my hair grows quickly and its already pulling length which Mistress enjoys doing at Her discretion even when we are in public >:) She has informed me that She is going to remove my pubes by getting a waxing kit and after applying the wax-pulling it off vvvveeeeerrrryyyy slowly and in the wrong direction. She also took a look at your craft corner and is now making some home-made toys for Her to use on me.
i need to ponder the meme and will include it in my next post. i am sorry to hear about your husband. i have lost loved ones to suicide and i dont think i will ever figure out the ?why’s?
Oh my god….that clip was unbelievable, i can’t believe how much he came too!
[...] I managed to avoid this meme when kaya tagged all her readers, but now Mollena has tagged me in a most unequivocal way, so here I [...]
i have a new name for you, you shall be known as the all to rare “Woolly Masochist.”
[...] How to Pluck a Chicken By kaya | October 24, 2008 First, one has to find a chicken. That would be me. ~waves~ Chicken-shit right here. So yesterday I got a comment. Lovely comment it was, short and sweet, came with a link to a video. Now I love me some shared s&m ideas, so I read the short and sweet message of would master like to consider this solution to the hair issue? and hollered out to Master to come watch it with me. He did. Now. Heres the thing. Me? Reluctant masoc source: How to Pluck a Chicken [...]