How many subs does it take…?
Here’s a little diddy ’bout Jack and Diane– (um, no, that’s not right. Lemme try again. ;-) ) Here’s a little something written by AnnabelJ (from Fet Life). It cracked me the hell up so I knew y’all would get a kick out of it. She graciously gave me permission to repost it here. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.
HOW MANY SUBS DOES IT TAKE TO SCREW IN A LIGHTBULB?
Answer:
1 to say she’s not allowed to change a light bulb without Master’s permission;
3 to say they’re not even allowed to talk about changing a lightbulb without Master’s permission;
1 to say, “well, that’s why I’m glad I’m a sub and not a slave;”
15 to take offense to that statement as slaves;
56 to become embroiled in a discussion about what defines a slave vs. a sub;
3 peacemakers to point out that the definition of slave and sub is complicated, and different for everyone;
1 to finally overcome their submissive nature, take the initiative, and go to the store to pick one out;
4 to stress out on her return whether or not that particular light bulb casts the most pleasing glow for Master or Dom’s pleasure;
1 to begin to screw it in anyway;
6 to debate if that’s the right way to screw it in, because they do it differently;
1 to say, “well, I do it differently because I am a slave, not just a sub’;
15 to take offense to the ‘just a sub’ phrasing;
78 to become embroiled in a hot debate over who’s better, a sub or a slave;
3 to act as peacemakers and point out that the important thing is to change the light bulb according to their own kinks and beliefs;
1 to once again take the initiative to start screwing in the bulb;
436 to remind the sub that she needs to use lube every time;
5 to argue that it’s more exciting to just do it dry;
436 to say, ‘well then, I hope you are stocking up on Depends’;
1 to tell that urban legend about the person who tried to ‘insert’ a light bulb and ended up in the ER;
1 to comment that she and Master use the Gorean ritual to change lightbulbs while cryptically leaving out what that entails;
4 to say they don’t change lightbulbs because they’re only submissive in the bedroom;
19 to comment that, for them, BDSM is about a lot more than sex;
6 to make cheeky, naughty comments about sex with their Master or Dom anyway;
33 to soothe the sub afterwards, when she worries she did not install the light bulb well enough to please Master or Dom.
1 to compose this list and post it to the Suck it up, Buttercup group on Fet Life.
HOW MANY MASTERS DOES IT TAKE TO SCREW IN A LIGHTBULB?
None…they make their submissives do it.
Tags: humor
Uncategorized | kaya | 
Saturday May 2nd, 2009 8:50pm
1 slave to realize that she’s too short
1 Master to do it anyway, despite his comfort.
-snicker-
Um yeah. That would be me and my Master. I’m to short, and He doesn’t want me standing on a chair cause He’s afraid I’ll break my neck. So He is the official light bulb changer person in this household.
Aw, man…
I wonder if I was the only one who just got incredibly depressed reading that.
Sometimes, things are funny because they’re true.
Sometimes, things are depressing for the very same reason.
*le sigh*
~Chloe
As Chloe said, that post made me laugh at the ridiculousness, and sigh because of how true it is.
Hope all is well!
-Lydiab6
1 to officially leave the conversation to screw in the lightbulb she thinks he’d prefer, citing that her M shouldn’t even have to think of the lightbulb needing changing.
*nods* Yep.
Random thought: Imagine being tied up, watching your M blindfold himself and then picking up the cane? *shudder*
That was hilarious! Thanks for posting it; I missed that one over at FL.
Priceless.
Kaya,
Tha’s so funny. Especially since I find it funny when it really happens on fetlife.
Dave
So, how many masters does it take to change a lightbulb?
One.
He holds up the bulb to the light and waits for the world to revolve around him.
*snort*
LMAO. That did it!
I needed a big fat laugh today. I’m so repostin that.
Oh…erm…kaya…I’m kinda back @ WBD!
laughed my ass off over this one!
omg rofl, thank you for that
Oh god, how could anyone think that was anything BUT funny?
I’m so glad the only message boards I pay any attention to are Pro Domme sites, or have nothing to do with BDSM. Anything else is just gossip, and usually poorly informed at that.
Tho, I must say that your take on what goes on in these forums, Kaya, is always a riot!
Keep it up hun!
:D
The mention of Gorean lightbulb changing ritual drove me to this. I now inflict it on you.
Lightbulb of Gor
Follow the struggle of an Earth lightbulb to accept that it is lightbulb and that as lightbulb its place is to be changed by the one that would rightfully change it, Osram the Lightbulb Changer of Gor.
Eventually the Earth lightbulb will come to accept that it is lightbulb and that as lightbulb its place is to be changed by Osram the Lightbulb Changer of Gor, the one who has rightfully chosen to change it as is his rightful right to choose.
Bask in the warm, radiant glow of the Earth lightbulb as in accepting change it becomes enlightened and realizes that by accepting that it is indeed lightbulb and that its place is to be changed and that, having been changed by Osram the Lightbulb Changer of Gor, it will burn more brightly on Gor than it could ever hope to have burned on Earth.
Kaya,
So funny!
That’s hysterical! I’ve been gone this past week and internet has been on-again, off-again. I thought I’d missed Fetlife but now…
Hmmm. Maybe not. ;P
Your friend left out:
“Several from the ‘Comfy Chair’ to point out that a Master telling their property to change a light bulb *could* be a red flag and to be careful.”
SSC! ;P
You forgot
1 Dom laughing like Satan in the background about the submissive wracking her brains out about shit he isn’t gonna notice or give a fuck about.
Thats Me
Once Master told me to change the light bulb…but I was tired so I had my daughter/friend/cat do it… should I tell him the truth? …OMG YOU ARE NOT A TRUE SLAVE!!!!A TRUE SLAVE WOULD HAVE DONE AS SHE WAS INSTRUCTED AND GIVEN THE GIFT OF THE BULB FROM THE BOWELS OF HER SLAVE BELLY.
Brilliant! That made my day right there.
LMAO