For Trade –
One 16 year old who knows everything.
Except:
How to cook.
How to clean.
How to manage money.
How to wipe up spilled water.
How to drive.
How to write a check.
How to answer a phone.
How to do math.
How to treat people.
How to be nice.
How to be polite.
How gas is paid for.
How cell phone bills are paid.
How to work the can opener.
How to take medication.
How to sweep, dust or vacuum.
How to make a bed.
How to do laundry.
How dictatorships work.
How to shut up.
How to get a job.
How important it is to finish high school.
How the world goes round.
She can text. And she can argue. What else does she *possibly* need to know in life??
I’d like to trade her in. For a puppy.
Tags: jes
Uncategorized | kaya | 
Wednesday October 8th, 2008 8:52am
kinda pissed off at her today? I have two 14 year old twin girls I’ll take for her…lol Just take a deep breath and believe that you will live through this…..
kinda pissed off at her today?
It shows huh? ;-)
I’d take you up on your trade offer but I know how this works. In 2 years I’d have TWO 16 year olds to try and trade off. Ha. No thanks! :P
No thanks! I already have a blog!
?
Those just seemed to me to be good qualifications for a blogger, but perhaps little else.
Sorry if the joke was obscure.
I’ll take her. I always wanted something to make my life miserable. I’ve just been way too happy lately.
I have one of these! I comfort myself with the knowledge that in a few years the real world will take a bite out of her smart ass and she’ll see that it’s not so easy being an adult. All her talk about getting an apartment soon as high school is over and how her and her boyfriend are going to be soooo happy together….oh yeah….I’m patient….I can wait…..
Kaya, be warned puppies aren’t all milk and honey. :D
Warm hugs
Paul.
LOL…I’ve had two of them and both of them were as dumb as dirt at 16…lol.
They are now:
25 & 27
grown
Married
Clean up after themselves when they visit
Employed
Keep their own house/apt semi clean and tidy.
Pay their own bills
raising children
Call ma and pa for our opinion and advice.
I guess I can’t complain too much, as mine knows how to do a lot of those on the list. Still her being respectful sucks!!
*hugs*
Only if you take my 11 (going on 30) yr old :D
I have a very fat cat that I’ll trade for her. But only if she can sleep in her own bed, and not sprawl out all over ours, refusing to move!
i will trade her for our 17 year old daughter who some days makes me regret teaching her how to talk. we also have an 8 year old daughter who has the memory of a fruit fly when it comes to rules while having the memory of an elephant when it comes to things we said yes to while we were still half asleep. i have already cursed them to have kids just like them. our full grown son now has 2 boys who do things that he did & an infant daughter he says wont be out of sight until she is in her 40′s. i love being a grandma!!! we get to spoil them and play with them and when they get testy-they go back to our son:)
Reminds me of that saying: We spend the first two years teaching them to walk and talk, and the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up.
I’ll take her! Master and I want kids, but I can’t have them. D:
Besides, I’ve always wanted to adopt to skip the stupid ‘why’s this happen?’ stage. I can’t wrap my head around the fact that kids are born knowing nothing.
:3 I’ll trade her for…..erm…A few pretty plants! Yes! I have a Stella de Oro and a Jade tree. :3 My plants require watering every other day and no discipline!
i will gladly trade you a 14yo male for the 16yo female (which means i would only have 2 years left!!!)
He has all the same abilities (or lack of) as yours – except he CAN also:
miss the toilet
forget everything he’s told to do
mope and sulk 23 hours a day
roll his eyes like a pro
complain about feeding the dogs in the same breath as telling me he’s starving
put on a show for strangers
sleep on the couch whenever he’s not sulking
have 17 IM conversations going at once
However, he is completely incapable of:
being unplugged from something electronic for more than 2 hours
remember where he left his cell phone/ipod/chargers/etc.
remembering homework, projects, detentions
Or… if you’d like, i can trade you my 5yo Mastiff mix – 150 lbs, lazy, grumpy and half blind, or his 4yo son, 95 lbs with a new tendency to SLEEP on the kitchen table when no one is home. Last choice is a 4lb Pomeranian who believes she’s the Master here, and terrifies the poor big dogs.
Oh, it feels so good to read this and realize that we only have 16 years to go before our little adorable girl is 16… ;-)
Stop it! Between chat and this entry, you’re making me have second thoughts about kids! :p
lol… sorry. :-)
It’s okay ;) It’s also giving me ways to plan ahead if I go through with it :P
Have I mentioned to you that we have children all the same age as well?
Yeah… don’t you just love the little bastards?
As my oldest gets into the teenage years, I muse on the fact that merchant class kids were apprenticed at this age and staying with a different family, and noble children were fostered to another family and it really seems like a GOOD IDEA. (wry laugh)
Master was generous enough to point that out to the teenager this weekend, as he was complaining about having to vacuum the rug and take the trash out.
Sometimes you just have to take a deep breath, and, say to yourself, “I love this child, I cannot kill her! Besides, I won’t look good in horizontal stripes!”
While I certainly understand the unique, well… challenge that raising teenagers presents, it kind of makes me sad that you would feel frustrated enough with her to express, even in jest, that you would like to get rid of her. I see in your past entries you have had some rather unpopular opinions about your children, so I hope that maybe in the future you can grow to feel a little more positive about your little’uns! :P
so here’s a question. Why do two comments overwrite each other sometimes? Does anyone know?
and teenagers… I was the worst ever, so however bad mine get, I think my mom thinks I deserve worse
tina
I don’t know why. I just refresh the page and it seems to fix it. Sometimes a comment will show as blank, too, until I refresh. *shrug* The Intrawebz Gods are mad at me maybe?
Do you have kids? If we couldn’t express the OMG of it all I fear as parents we would all go completely insane instead of only the little bit they have driven us to. I am pretty sure its safe to vent here since it is an adult space and perhaps it may help slap that Mommy face back on to face one more round with them. Kaya you seem to always be a voice for peoples thoughts no matter what they are. I know I usually come away feeling better : )
Yes, I have kids, and I certainly agree with what you’re saying here – this blog serves as her “catharsis zone” for all the frustrating bits about raising children, and once she is done, she can go back to being a mom like usual.
I was just expressing concern, I suppose because I have observed parents who will vent in this way, but then have problems turning it off again. This can leak over into their treatment of their children, and I just felt the need to say something. : )
I appreciate the concern, really. Completely unnecessary though.
When I worked with Alzheimer’s patients, all of us workers would occasionally get together outside and have a ‘bitch session’ about the patients various behaviors. Anyone listening probably would have snatched Mother out of that facility, convinced we were all abusive jerks. But nothing could be further from the truth. It was needed, the opportunity to vent with other people who understand sort of cleansed the soul. Whereas one of us might have been right on the edge of snapping at Mr. Jones for painting the walls and himself with excrement for the 8th time that day, a simple minute or two of venting and then laughing, renewed us enough to find the humor, smile and go clean it up again.
Parenting is not much different, especially a child like this one. Just hearing a “me too!” is all I need some days. I got it. There is nothing to be gained by bottling it up and if expressing it offends some people, I really can’t help that.
Thank, Kat. :-)
Funny, when I first started reading this, I thought I was reading my Girlfriends writing about her 16 year old son.
It’s a strange generation.
Kaya,
You reminded me of something that goes kind of like this (author unknown).
When I was 5, my dad knew everything.
When I was 10, my dad knew quite a bit.
When I was 15, my dad knew nothing.
When I was 20, my dad didn’t know how the world worked these days.
When I was 25, my dad could occasionally give okay advice.
When I was 35, my dad helped me out a lot.
When I was 45, my dad was the first person I turned to for advice.
When I was 55, my dad was the wisest person I knew.
Now that I’m 65, I could really use my dad’s advice right now.
If only we could go back in time and tell ourselves what we’re missing. I’m sure she will feel the same way in time.
Dave
Two words…Military School
u, i have the puppy, but i got an eleven year old that is the same. i do not need another! LOL. he just got busted TODAY with trying to keep us and his teacher separated until his fall break. he failed. ;-) he was trying to hide his bad behavior and his lack of homework. i cannot wait until tonight when we DO go and meet with her for the parent/teacher conferences!!
that should be fun watching him squirm!
(evil wringing of hands)
cindy
Srsly, how did she make it to 16? My boy is 8 and some days I’m not sure he will make it to 10, let alone 16.
Sympathy and understanding to you
:)
move her to Orange County and she’ll fit right in