Fetlife – how I love thee.
I’ve spent way too much time on FL yesterday and this morning. Sometimes, it’s just too humorous to walk away from.
The latest buzzwords are abuse and red flag.
Your dom put you on a diet? Abuser!! He doesn’t like you as you are!
Your dom said you had to leave Fetlife? Red Flag!! He’s isolating you!
Someone slapped someone at a play party? Abuse! Call the cops!
If you haven’t joined yet, you simply must. You’re missing stimulating conversations like:
How do you distinguish a lie verses the truth?
Do girls who suck their thumbs grow up to love sucking cock?
Am I Still New?
Its time I told my mother about bdsm but just really dont know how.
My husband and I had unusually great sex last night and now I’m feeling a little guilty.
Help I don’t know what I am???
You’re missing out on being able to reassure someone that burning the spaghetti sauce is really not a freak-out emergency and that clicking the wrong drop down menu shouldn’t be grounds for release.
Last but not least – if you don’t come to Fetlife, you cannot join the Fart Lovers group.
That right there should be enough to recruit *everybody*.
Seriously. I love the place. It is WAY fun.
Today.
Uncategorized | kaya | 
Monday February 9th, 2009 9:38am
WHATTTT? What groups do you read? The groups I’m in don’t have nearly that much fun.
junebug
Unrelated and on a personal note, I was thinking about you as I was watching the news the other night. Our newscasters spent all of 5 seconds reporting on a mass funeral in the middle east due to a suicide bomber killing 28 people and then another 5 minutes talking about some camels that don’t have the right paperwork to be transported from one country to another and they may be in danger of dying before their paperwork comes through. I was thinking that I bet you could come up with a good rant about our society’s lack of appropriate priorities when it comes to reporting the news.
Hope you have a great day!
lol! I so could do that rant!
:D
I really need to get back to Fetlife! LOL, I also need to read the threads youre reading obviously. God knows I need some amusement in my life.
Submissive women, which I’m not even a member of but watch for it’s comedic value, is where the very best ones happen.
So, let me see if I’ve got this straight… If you have to leave FetLife, it’s a Red Flag, and obviously cruel beyond measure. Right? Okay. Got it. Logically, it follows that never even allowing me to join would put my Master at the “Arrestable Jackass of Doom” stage, or something, right?
I KNEW there was a reason he didn’t want me at FetLife. It’s because he was afraid I’d discover his Abuse and all the Red Flags! How dare he be so devious! HOW DARE HE!
Excuse me while I go call the police. :D
~Chloe
(I swear you’re doing this on purpose; trying to make me want to go over there and run my mouth even more than I already want to. As it was I had to mentally backspace about thirty delightfully acerbic comments when I read your list of “discussions” some people are having… Curse you!)
Absolutely. He is isolating you so that you cannot become wise to his nefarious practices! He’s an abuser of the worst sort! One of them sneaky ones that pampers and loves you so that you don’t see it coming!
We are so on to him. Don’t worry. We’ll save you.
Let me tell you that the shit that *I* read on Fetlife (when I bother to get there) is nowhere near as interesting as what you manage to find… which is why I don’t spend much time there at all. It just seems to be 472 variations of the same damn question/thought over and over and over again. Maybe I just need to find some new groups?
Let me guess, 472 variations of thoughts on shaving vs waxing?
Sub vs. slave
Online vs. real life
BDSM means A, B, and C and nothing else!
How can I (most erotically) be punished for my failures?
Collars?!?!?!
:-)
Well you most certainly have to wade through a lot of shit to find these gems. ;-)
But they’re predators, Kaya. Every single one of them. Why else would a dominant think that he can order his overweight submissive to lose weight, require his submissive make dinner without burning it, or make her leave Fetlife as a punishment? They’re predatoring of course! *smirk*
They’re predatoring on my beautiful journey! Assholes.
FetLife…Like Highschool…..only kinkier!
Gotta stay amused…
fown
Exactly! Man, I *wish* high school had been this fun!
Where do you find that stuff? I’m on fetlife (I’m Marijke, big surprise. Hi!) but I’m not active at all because it’s so boring..
Patience, young grasshopper. If you join, the snarks will come.
Heh. I crack myself up.
Depends what groups you’re in. Submissive Women is one that I just watch every once in awhile. You can almost always expect to find the most ridiculous stuff in there. (like the cock-sucking/ thumb-sucking connection. I mean, who knew, right?) Comfy Chair can spit out some gems. Otherwise, I mostly stick with the groups whose purpose is to be snarky. Fetlife Rants, etc.
Good stuff.
Kaya,
Yeah, it’s all fun until someone pushes your button and you go off on a rant. Wait, that’s fun too. I guess it is all fun. ;)
I’ve only joined one group so far, the kinky intellectuals book club, I think it’s called. Seriously, I’m not kidding on the name. There’s just too many groups to have to decide.
Dave
Allow me to lead you into the bowels of Fetlife, Dave. Follow me.
;-)
But…but…I like being isolated!
I know!
But that doesn’t matter, sweetheart. It just doesn’t matter if you want it /like it /agreed to it. You didn’t know any better!
Let these enlightened women save you from yourself. They have a *purpose* here!
;-)
Also, omgohnoes! I’m married to an abuser! Call Amnesty!
I’m married to an abuser!
If they could only be so lucky. ;-)
I was there. Early on. It made me totally nuts. Took up way more time than it was worth. So, I quit — and it was a total pain in the ass to get away from the damn thing.
It amuses me that you find some of it amusing, but I spend enough of my time trying to educate people who are clueless a lot of the time (and they are supposed to be at least partly clueless). I’m just not interested in trying to educate the determinedly stupid.
swan
See! There was your problem. They don’t want to be educated. So I don’t try. I snark (my fave) and I indulge my inner sarcastic bitch (that would be more snarking, huh?) or I just read and laugh.
But never educate. Absolute waste of time over there. ;-)
Would this fall into the “never try to teach a pig to sing” category?
Complete waste of time.
swan
“The determinedly stupid.” This may be my favorite new phrase ever. It is completely true that there is a segment of the population perfectly described by this. So different from the passively stupid or the simply unknowing.
I really DID try with Fetlife… I did. But there were like 20,000 group options, and I chose a few that sounded good from the first few pages. And got completely bombarded with emails, because they were the most active groups. Generally, by the time I get around to reading, someone has already said what I would have said, or what I want to say would start a “heated discussion”. So I’m still subscribed to a few groups, but rarely bother keeping up with them. And, like Dave, one of the groups I chose was the Kinky Intellectuals Book Club… couldn’t resist that one.
lalana
Well yeah, shutting off the email function (I typed fucktion the first time) is the first order of business at FL. I really don’t want to hear everything everyone has to say ever!
I mostly stick with the snarky groups myself. Some of the other groups are way too serious to be any fun. But Submissive Women is an enless supply of humor.
God, I don’t even go in the groups, except for the local ones that carry events. And the book club, and a toymaking one, and discworld, bot that’s not kinky at all, I’m just a big Terry Pratchett fan.
It’s much more fun to rant about these things in real life, instead of playing at events :)
haha, and I made a typo in my nick.. hangs head in shame :p
LOL. That is too funny. ;-)
Hahaha…I actually read that post about the sub that chose the wrong relationship status for her Dom from the drop down menu on Fetlife and she got scolded for it…these things ARE interesting to read. I go on frequently because I like the discussion groups I’ve joined. And Daddy put me on Weight Watchers, so to speak, but really, I’m the one who keeps going, because I was unsatisfied with my weight. But of course, he thinks I’m a fat ass, so that must be the reason I’m doing WW haha.:p To me, reading some of those posts are better than watching a daytime soap opera! LOL. Glad to see you’re doing better, kaya. I hope you guys have an awesome Valentine’s Day!!!!
Master thinks I’m a fat ass too. Woe is me!
Of course, I AM a fat ass soooo… lol.
I hope you have a great V-day too!
Red flags?! Did someone say red flags?!?!
snicker
I swear, next needle scene we do, I’m covering them all with red flags. *nods*
To fucking funny. I so want to see that picture!
My favorite so far at fetlife was the post about finding yours mothers pic and profile on Collarme and wondering if they should come clean about both being kinky little sluts with the fame fetishs. That one was soooo much fun to read….oh, got to go. Mom just safe-worded out of the cage….
Mom just safe-worded out of the cage….
LMFAO
If you love FetLife, skip on over to bondage.com. Its forums (fora ?) are just chock full of those bitches from high school that you hated and wished would drop dead, but laughed your ass off at when you saw how fat they got at the 10 year class reunion!
All in all, FL is a much better site, obviously quite entertaining :)
I love your blog and think you’re one of the most REAL women I’ve ever read- keep it up!
~blueeyes
I haven’t experienced b.com. I’ve only heard the rumors. Someday I’ll have to venture over.
Maybe. The rumors I’ve heard? Scaaaary!
(and thanks. ;-)
If I ever wrote of my world with my owner… fetlife would hold a tel-a-thon for me. I have all the red flags in my yard.
Are the red flags and plastic flamingos fighting over territory?! Oh! Oh! And do the lawn gnomes have an issue with this?
LOL
*snirt* Yeah…I been watching you over there, giggling my ass off from afar.
I keep growling “Sic em”
I have way too much fun. Yesterday I got yelled at by a vampire! I mean, honest to Pete – it don’t get no more entertaining than that!
There is a funny song on the Juno soundtrack that just goes, “I am a vampire, I am a vampire, I am a vampire, I am vampire..” over and over and over again. It’s a hoot, lol.
I don’t get FetLife. It seems filled with people who would rather talk about it rather than do it. Yawn. Doing is much more fun.
Heh. I get to talk about it all day while he’s gone and do it all night when he’s home. I am a lucky cunt. ;-)
I wish I had 1/2 the time it takes to be entertained by a site like that. Sounds like fun!
That site is hilarious. I’m in groups for the sheer laugh value. I can’t help not be part of them. Its entertainment for those of you, like me, that get pleasure out of seeing others stupidity and or torment. :D
You must have missed the new group created last night…. It’s a group for men to be nursed from a woman’s breast. i’m serious. And the even more interesting part was that when it was first up there, there was 1 member, ten minutes later? There were 5!
To each their own kink i guess!!
This has to be a nominee for the funniest/dumbest/saddest question EVER:
http://fetlife.com/groups/1418/group_posts/89782
An excerpt:
“She has been told by a Dom that she is now his property. She has only met, and played a little with him only once.There isn’t daily communication between them, and when there is, its not very personal. its all about him giving commands of what he wants her to do or not do…Question is… why does this feel wrong, and should she give this a try, anyway?”
I about spit out my water laughing reading this!
Thanks Kaya, that’s 2 hours I’ll never get back!!
I think I annoyed my boyfriend by reading it all out to him too :-D
grins … sounds like nothing has changed since I left! although I admit it- sometimes when I’m PMSing, i REALLY miss Fet! Really!
The whole “Your dom put you on a diet? Abuser!! He doesn’t like you as you are!” “Your dom said you had to leave Fetlife? Red Flag!! He’s isolating you!”Someone slapped someone at a play party? Abuse! Call the cops” oddly reminded me of a post that one of my fellow actor friends on LJ made.
If you go to my memories and you look under life…click on the one that says “Chriswinters: 67 vs 07″. It’s similar to situations that people overact to nowadays, that they didn’t years ago.
IMO, abuse is thrown around a lot lately. Yet, it’s interesting in a way. Whenever someone who has been abused tries to talk about it, it’s trivalized. When someone is not actually being abused, someone calls abuse. It’s fucking dumbfounding.
Do girls who suck their thumbs grow up to love sucking cock?
(Btw, you have my permission to post my answers if you want since I’m not a member on Fetlife)
I don’t think sucking my thumb all the way up to fourteen (although I did quit for a brief time when I was ten) has anything to do with me growing up to love sucking cock.
When I sucked my thumb, I did it as a way to comfort myself. It was a way for me to deal with emotions that I didn’t want to deal with, and sucking my thumb helped me calm myself quicker. I love sucking dick because I have fun turning on my SO and it’s a turn on to have my mouth widen as my SO’s cock goes in it.
Its time I told my mother about bdsm but just really dont know how.
You don’t really have to tell your mother you’re into bdsm really. It’s not any of her business. I told my mother I was into bdsm because we were talking about sex and I slipped it out since I’m not good at censoring myself (that’s what you get when you move to a country where people are bluntfully honest). However, if you really want to announce to your mom that you’re into BDSM…do it at a time that’s she laxed. Like if she’s watching a show where her limitations go out the window. For example…my mom liked to watch That 70s Show. Whenever she watched it, she said things like how she would like to try pot and dye her hair purple (which she’s never done for either of them). I found that as a good time to tell her I tried pot before.