Driving
In our time together Master and I have gone on several very long road trips. Usually in separate vehicles and usually with me following Him. There’s a zone I would get into, following Him. Focused mostly on the back of His vehicle, I’d tune out my surroundings. The traffic, the scenery, road signs, all blended into a blur of background stuff. I braked when He did, sped up when He did, turned when He did.
Occasionally He’d call back to me and ask me if I wanted to lead for awhile. He recognized that I was becoming hypnotized. Given the choice, I always declined. Blithely following along, I was comfortable. But sometimes, concerned that I was almost asleep in my absent-minded pursuit, or simply needing a break from leading He’d call back and tell me to move in front of Him.
That required a few minutes to wake up. A mental shake, a few blinks, letting the world back in. I’d speed up to pass Him, with a smile and a wave, and assume my place in the lead. There I’d discover that the radio station I’d been listening to had gone out of range some time ago. The coffee I’d picked up at the last rest stop was cold and yucky. My butt was numb, my body cramped, my eyes sore from staring, unseeing, at His license plate. I’d have to call Him and ask to be re-oriented with the road signs to be watching for, where we were, and He’d re-direct me, sometimes with the patience of a saint, other times with exasperation for my “ditziness”.
Within a short amount of time though, I’d begin to enjoy my new view. Shaking off the mental fog that comes with not having to think, I’d again become a competent driver, moving easily in and out of interstate traffic, enjoying the scenery. Feeling that slight sense of power and freedom that you feel only when you are cruising down the highway.
The funny thing is, I was never in the lead for long. Master is simply not a follower. Once He’d revived His batteries or was sufficiently convinced that I was awake and aware, He’d fly by me, wave and settle in front of me again. And soon enough, I’d catch myself falling back into that comfortable, hypnotic state of being lead, of not having to think.
To a much larger degree, I’ve been in that hypnotic, non-thinking state for the last several months. It is comfortable. It is easy. It’s safe and warm and lazy.
This last week, I experienced a bit of panic. The same panic I would feel on the interstate, when I’d lose sight of His vehicle, not sure where I was or where to turn, until I’d mentally slap myself, remind myself that I can read a map, I’m not retarded, I can drive. And sure enough, as soon as I’d calm down, I’d spot Him anyway. Drifting in the slow lane, waiting for me. And His voice, soothing and joking in my ear, “get lost, baby?”
It is going to be an adjustment here. Pushed out of my comfortable spot in the back is going to require a little more work than finding another radio station. But just as I enjoyed the little bit of freedom and power once before, I’ll enjoy it again.
And I suspect that I’ll treasure it more this time, appreciating fully the extent to which it will be taken from me again someday. It’s going to be interesting, I think, to see how He plays this out.
We’ve interacted this weekend in a delicious blend of equal/non-equals. Though Master says that deep inside, nothing has changed, on the surface it will. I don’t have to worry so much about losing *everything* because Master simply won’t allow it. There are some things that have to change, things that circumstances are demanding be adjusted and He’ll do that. And only to the extent that is absolutely necessary. What I keep forgetting is that this never was MY lifestyle… it’s His. And just as He guided me here, He’ll continue to guide me exactly as He wants to.
We only had Friday during school hours to ourselves and we used it fully. Lots and lots of fucking. (I had always identified myself as a nympho and a slut. I’ve outsexed every man I’ve ever been with. Master routinely outsexes me. He has the libido of a teenager, with the talent of knowing how to do it, and I’m always the one with the wide eyes and the sore crotch, exclaiming “AGAIN???” as He leads me back to the bedroom.:-) There were no chains, no cuffs, no closet. Just me and Him, and the truth of my submission and His domination. And two evil wooden paddles.
Holy shit. My ass is bruised (hooray!) but before it bruised it was a white, blistered, aching mass of butt-flesh. I asked once if He’d paddle me until I cried, thinking I needed the release. He was more than happy to indulge me in that request but two swats into it, I decided I was wrong, oh so wrong! The paddle is much too wicked and the pain was the kind that takes your breath away and makes the world swim.
At this point, His sadist woke up and He told me in no uncertain terms that He was going to finish. Some 20 swats later, I was screaming into the floor and He was casting concerned glances toward the neighbor’s house and telling me to shush. He propped me onto my hands and knees then and proceeded to fuck me senseless. At first I was just trying to catch my breath, the sting on the sweet spot was overwhelming. He kept bumping it though, as He pounded into me. Grinding the pain in, and talking, those deeply growled words of ownership. The words that feed my soul and stir my mind (and my crotch) and within a short time I was pressing back against Him, lifting my ass up to ensure that each thrust landed hard on the sore spots and I screamed into orgasm with Him following right behind me.
I expect that times just like that will become the norm for awhile. And I am fully okay with that. I think He enjoyed it too.
kaya
Uncategorized | kaya | 
Sunday March 5th, 2006 3:24pm
:) *hugs*
:) thank you
*hugs*
Hey hun,
i have totally missed you the past few days. i am glad to hear you are fine with everything.
Would it be alright if i added you on my MSN?
you can add me back, it is alesiab23@hotmail.com
pet
Sure…:) and I missed you too.
Great
My goodness, you are such a talented writer! What a very clever way of describing your experiences lately. Hugs to you!
Re: Great
Oh thank you!
*hugs*
:)
This was nice. I’m not sure I can say much more than that.
tulsa
tulsamoda.blogspot.com
Thank you very much…:)