Daily Dose of Snark
A(nother) FetLife gem:
(paraphrase): I have PTSD and other emotional issues that keeps me from being able to mop and vacuum as often as I should.
What? Were you raped by a mop handle during your last stint in prison? Attacked by a vacuum cleaner salesman while innocently baking chocolate chip cookies on a Tuesday afternoon?
Exactly what does happen when you open that skeery utility closet door and the Swiffer leers at you with its gaudy purple handle? Do you curl into a ball and suck your thumb when it squirts its soapy solution onto your filthy floor? Do you become lost in painful, hazy memories of Grandma’s ugly yellow linoleum at just the simple whiff of Pinesol?
When the vacuum cleaner roars into life do you hide behind the couch, trembling in fear while urine runs down your leg? Does the whapwhapwhap of the beater brush catapult you into flashbacks like those of a Vietnam Vet? Are you surrounded with mental images of the blood and gore left behind by previous vacuum cleaner incidents?? Did it suck up your hamster?
No? None of the above? Huh. Well then. Me thinks PTSD is not the issue here.
I will not accuse you of being lazy.
Wait. Yes I will.
You? Are lazy.
AND stupid.
Also? This is one more example of a slave whose disorder is the only master they will ever really have.
Uncategorized | kaya | 
Wednesday October 6th, 2010 12:23pm
You changed something and now I only get summaries in my rss reader. Please change it back; pretty pretty please with cherry on top!
I second that request!
Done!
I heart you, LOL!
doubleknot´s last [type] ..I was NOT killed in the Zombie Apocalypse!
And I am glad to hear you were not killed by teh zombehs!
oooh, it was a close call; they almost ate my brain!!
doubleknot´s last [type] ..I was NOT killed in the Zombie Apocalypse!
(which would be nowhere near as bad as letting the algebra do it!)
doubleknot´s last [type] ..I was NOT killed in the Zombie Apocalypse!
fucking algebra. The kids don’t even ask me for math help anymore. They know better.
The first time I eyeballed that “gaudy purple handle” on a Swifter I did a double take – then realized its kinky potential was totally ruined by that silly ring thing on the end and the sharp parting line between the two halves – Bummer! or in this case NO Bummer.
Once upon a time, pre-brave enough to go in a sex toy store and buy a dildo, I used to fuck the vacuum cleaner handle. If I laid it down just right, the handle was propped and angled perfect for me to back up on it.
Good times.
Or, maybe — just maybe — she was badly beaten when she was a child for not doing a “good enough” job cleaning.
But yeah, snark is easier. And laziness far more pleasant to speculate about than child abuse.
Oh good golly. There’s one in every crowd.
Yes, of course she was probably badly beaten by an evil stepmother for not sweeping properly and now she’s too horribly scarred and damaged to manage floors in her adult life. I’m SURE that was it.
You know what though? Lots of people have been abused. Lots of people have been traumatized. Bullshit excuses is what it turns into. If she can “manage” submission, she can manage sweeping. And if she can’t, I reserve the right to make fun of it because I think it’s hilarious. You can go pat her on the head if you want. I’m sure THAT will make her life better.
As a general rule, I’m a snarky fucking bitch. I would advise you not to read here if you find my insensitivity to be too hard to stomach. Because I sure as hell am not going to change what, or how, I blog because it offends some anonymous asshole on the internet. Deal?
I love you, kaya. I was abused as a child and as an adult and yes I have issues. I worked through them though by facing them. I didn’t consider myself fit for service until I had. I thought that was the norm..or maybe the norms just got lowered when i wasn’t lookimg
Chez’s kitty´s last [type] ..Update and Journal Prompt
Already done, kiddo. Life is, as they say, too short, and there are far more pleasant diversions to be found elsewhere. Took you off my feed already, shan’t be back.
But I will say this: I’m married to a woman who’s both a submissive and an abuse victim, and in short: it can really fuck you up in some very unexpected ways.
Absolutely no reason why you should give a fuck, of course. Although the irony of you, of all people, mocking someone with problems is indeed quite marvelously ironic.
Well, that was hostile.
Kitty´s last [type] ..Dear Friends- Please get a job and quit interrupting my fun time
wow. i agree with anonymous here. What you said wasn’t snarky. It was just plain old mean. I don’t know the whole context of the thread that you lifted that statement from, but does it really matter? you probably don’t know the whole context that caused the statement to be made. it’s a sad day when abuse victims spew such vitriole themselves…at other apparent victims.
I don’t know the whole context. I don’t want to know. I don’t need to know.
I don’t CARE.
PTSD is just the latest in a stream of “cool” disorders to claim to be suffering from and to use as an excuse for why someone can’t function. It really is not a sad day when other “victims” call the rest of the “victims” out on their bullshit. Either you control it or it controls you. Period. “I can’t clean because I was abused! Waah!” Bull-fucking-shit. It’s *cleaning*. It’s a fucking vacuum and a broom. And if you really are SO terrified of simple household tools, then get thee to therapy PRONTO and get the fuck off of Fet. Don’t even think for one second that I’m going to pat you on the head and whisper, “there dear, I’ll save you from that mean old broom! Poor darlin’” cuz I won’t. I will tell you to knock your shit off and get the fuck over it.
Abuse happens. It happened. Deal with it and move the fuck on. Stop turning victimhood into sainthood.
Jesus christ.
Just let me invite you to follow anonymous right out the goddamn door if I’m offensive. Please. Bubbye.
somebody needs a happy pill.
These days victimhood is glorified. People are encouraged to embrace this permanent identity of “wounded”. The public is ostracized if they don’t respond with tsk’s and aww’s. There is no push for personal responsibility, self-power, for choice. In my opinion, it’s nothing but a continuation of abuse.
Why would someone who has forever and always been coddled when she trotted out her PTSD as her reason for not sweeping ever think she needed to conquer the damn broom? Even IF her claims are legitimate, and even if she is truly terrified of the broom-
No. I can’t even take that seriously. Sorry.
i agree with your notion that victimhood is somewhat glorified, and that there needs to be a better solution…one that does not contribute to the cycle that perpetuates the problem. Beating people up because of statements they make isnt the answer, though.
like i said, i dont know the context, nor the person, that you decided to pick on. It just seemed unnecesarily mean.
I guess I’m just a big, bad bully. Probably my “personality problems” can be traced back to my abusive past, therefore I totally can’t be held accountable for them because, as we all know, abuse “can really fuck you up in some very unexpected ways.”
So I’d appreciate it if you’d all stop being rude about my problems. I assume the line for head patting will start on the left?
Thank you.
good grief. i’m not trying to be a bitch, kaya. would a head pat make you feel better? for heavens’ sake. give everyone else a break, please. life is a bitch. we all deal with it in different ways.
i’ll start the head pat line, if that will make you feel better. sheesh
Actually that last comment was sarcastic humor. I just don’t think you get me at all.
I wonder what trendy new disorder I can use to explain to Master that was why I was sound asleep on the couch when he got home today and no dinner on the table.
Man… it might be mean but I sometimes need a big bad bully to get me up off my fashionably disabled ass.
Snark away girl friend.
x
xantu´s last [type] ..Master at the horstipipple
My fondest wish right now, would be to sit down (maybe with margaritas or a white russian) to spend an evening with xantu and Kaya. Would that not be so much fun? Smart and snarky…delicious.
I’ve never had a white russian! I bet I would like it.
you would, but your diet wouldn’t…Kahlua, Vodka, and cream, mmmmmmmm.
It’s delicious :)
Lynnsey´s last [type] ..Welcome -
If you’re going to get into White Russians (the drink anyway) then you MUST see the movie “The Big Lebowski”, which features Jeff Bridges in a wonderfully wry comic turn as a White Russian swilling ne’er do well slacker who goes by “The Dude”. Learn the phrase, “The Dude abides.” It’s a great toast for a White Russian night.
Try ISD. The “I Suck Disorder”. Make sure you use big pouty lips and slightly teared up eyes when you say it. Let me know how it works.
You know, a common symptom of ptsd and other mood disorders is a loss of interest in daily activities. To most, cleaning would be included in those daily activities.
Even if you have suffered yourself, is it really fair to judge anothers suffering?
I must agree there is a fine line between snarky and just plain mean and you seem to have crossed it.
Okay. So I’m just plain mean. We’re in agreement.
PTSD isn’t a mood disorder at all. It is an anxiety disorder. Depression (a mood disorder) is often also present when one suffers from PTSD, but it is not an actual symptom of the disorder itself.
Just saying. And using mental illness as an excuse instead of a reason is never right.
Perspective here, people. This is a blog, a personal blog, not a public forum. Don’t like the sentiment? Don’t read the blog.
Thank you! Jeezus. People need to pay for their own blog if they want a place to be bitches. This place is MINE.
yuh. Snark, for sure. But…why? If somebody snarked about bi-polar disorder this way, (i.e. “you’re just making it up”) wait, no we’ve seen what happens when somebody says that to kaya…she doesn’t like it.
Sure, sometimes ptsd is over diagnosed. Sometimes people use it as a crutch. Attack that, snark at that.
Not at how somebody got it or how it affects their life (even if they’re LETTING it affect their life without trying to fix it). Attacking the hows and the whats just makes it worse – people stop being taken seriously, stop trying to find help or help themselves…
Having a mental disorder is already a vicious place to be – i don’t think we need to make it worse.
just my 2 cents.
Will still be back to read here as long as kaya is writing, though…
“Sure, sometimes ptsd is over diagnosed. Sometimes people use it as a crutch. Attack that, snark at that.”
Um. That’s what I did.
I also said “Not at how somebody got it or how it affects their life (even if they’re LETTING it affect their life without trying to fix it).”
Sure, your scenario is pretty improbable, but so are many other causes of PTSD. That’s, in my opinion, why I read it as snarking at the how and its effect.
Some people are just more prone, more sensitive to developing stress/anxiety related disorders. Even from something as strange as having somebody yell at them for not washing every tine on a fork individually.
But, you’re right, it’s your blog, it’s your opinion, and…that’s where that is. i love reading your blog, but this one has my hackles up — not enough for me to ignore every other brilliant thing you write, though.
The key words were “mop and vacuum as often as I should”
See how that’s kinda…silly?
“I have PTSD and I cannot go to work” or, “I have PTSD and I cannot take care of my children”
Valid.
“I have PTSD and my life is ruined”
Yup.
Or the big one…”I have PTSD and I want to kill myself”
But mopping?
My son and his wife just had their first baby; she had a c-section, baby is…well, not struggling exactly but…things were not perfect. Mopping and vacuuming are the least of their concerns right now.
The last time I was depressed (before my divorce, over 10 years ago) I didn’t care about mopping and vacuuming. I wondered if I would be alive the next day from straining not to kill myself.
That’s the “joke”. It’s not a joke as much as…
Oy. We know how everything can be an effort when you feel like that but honestly, I don’t remember ever worrying about mundane chores as much as, can I get up today?
Can I function? Go to work and get my paycheck? Take care of my family?
That is, I believe, the spirit in which this was written.
Because anyone who knows Kaya knows she has a deep, caring heart and she has been through a great deal in her life.
So she fucking *knows*.
The “deep caring heart” might have been a bit much, Amber. lol
But yeah. You get it.
I rather liked the deep and caring heart part, it was very touching. *pouts*
/runs off crying
;P
*pats amber’s head*
doubleknot´s last [type] ..I was NOT killed in the Zombie Apocalypse!
THAT’S THE POINT EXACTLY! we all know kaya has been through a great deal in her life because she has spent the last however many years whining about it to total strangers on her blog. she can’t live without the daily “pats on the head”. and yet she has no tolerance for the problems of anyone else. she’s a hypocrite if there ever was one.
I have lots of tolerance. I’m tolerating you right here on my own personal place of head patting, aren’t I?
omg! Not the hypocrite card! I’m so wounded! Except no, not really. Aren’t you doing to me exactly what you’re accusing me of doing to someone else? Does that make you *gasp* a hypocrite, too?? We should start a club, you and me. Hypocrites R Us. Hypocrites Anonymous? Hypocrites Unite! You pick. I don’t care.
But no doubt you believe your brand of intolerance and hypocritical-ness is a-ok and it’s just MINE that’s flawed. I see how you work.
S’okay. I know how it is. :)
Who doesn’t have PTSD – get the hell over it or take yourself out of your dynamic that you cannot pull your weight in and go into therapy.
And yeah- I have abuse issues too but if I’m unable to work through them with my Master and provide the servitude He desires I would not be here…
I personally agree with the lazy- at the least this person is too lazy to work at their issues but has no problem smearing them on fet for attention. Paaaalease Just yet another example why I no longer have an account.
Snark=abilty to cope through humor-get some, try it, may do many of you well! :)
viemoira´s last [type] ..Special HNT
*fist bump*
Was it snarky? Yes.Was it mean? Probably!I LOVED it!!!
Heh. You can stay. *snicker*
I’m not sure why so many people are flipping shit about this. Psychology is my life. A lot of shrinks and counselors like to coddle those with mental disorders because we’re trying to remove the stigma associated with it, I suppose. “It’s not your fault”, “You can’t help it”, blah blah blah… but why would you want to take away their agency?
I have been abused… pretty much everyone has, in some way. My father is a Vietnam veteran (God bless him) with PTSD, along with a few other mental issues he has including BPD. His PTSD is extreme. Know what he did after the war? He went to college. He got a Master’s degree. He married twice and produced two awesome sons (and one mediocre daughter :P).
I won’t lie. He also uses his experiences as a crutch because in his case, he simply cannot bear the blame. “I drink because I want to forget”, “I scream at you because I don’t think anyone is listening”, the list goes on. But it has never been a very good excuse to me. I love him, but I still hold the man accountable for the shit he has put me through. He blames his disorders because he can’t stand knowing he hurts his children – not because he has to.
Perhaps this… fet-person is in much the same frame of mind, I don’t know. “I let my Master down, but *I* don’t want to feel inadequate because that would mean facing myself”. It is HARD, I’m not trying to belittle that fact. Do it anyway or you’ll never be happy.
Returning to agency, I prefer that my patients understand that they have control over themselves in these cases. Sure, it isn’t your fault. But you can still fix it. You can work at it, and maybe if will never be perfect, but whatever. No one wants a disorder (mental or physical) to run their life. My father lets it run his emotions, and he *suffers* because of it. I used to let my issues run my life and I SUFFERED for it too because that’s what happens. I believe we all have agency in our lives – even those of us who are “sick” or who need help finding that agency.
When my “issues” are the cause of a mishap with Master, I will say “Here is part of the reason: *insert issue here*, but it is only a rational and NOT an excuse”. Then I apologize for my strangeness, accept responsibility for my mistake, and we move on. It is possible.
Please give these people enough credit to understand that even people who have suffered heinous abuse can come out on top without hearing “poor you” from 5000 strangers. They can do it. It might take a little therapy or the patience of a loved one… but they can do it just like anyone else can.
(sorry for the long rant)
*~zelda
zelda´s last [type] ..October
Whoops. I found a mistake that makes me sound way cooler than I actually am:
“…I prefer that my patients understand that they have control over themselves in these cases.”
Should have been i WOULD prefer. I am not a doctor yet. We’re still working on that. :P Minor, maybe but I don’t want to misrepresent myself. Sorry for that! >.>;;
zelda´s last [type] ..October
Also, incase it wasn’t clear in my long, convoluted/insane rant – I agree with you, kaya. It isn’t an excuse. I also think it belittles people who have the disorder(s) by implying that they have no control over their actions or feelings when they certainly do (should they choose to). Meh.
zelda´s last [type] ..October
It was clear. And it wasn’t convoluted or insane. It was spot on and I’m glad you chimed in.
Aww, why thank you. :3 I’m always happy to chime in anytime… which may be unfortunate sometimes. lol
zelda´s last [type] ..October
Life is too short to criticise others I think.
But not too short for you to criticize me for criticizing someone else, right? Hahaha.
I should be cleaning right now, but my ISD made me keep reading the amusing comments on your post.
Aww! And you are completely not responsible for it! You can’t help it. Poor kid. C’mere and let me pat yer head. Tsk.
(see? I can be nice. Heh.)
I find that blowing off steam by criticising others makes shit worse for me… I want t be happy and i want others to be happy. Nothing negative intended towards you.
Spot on about this being *your* blog, if someone doesn’t like it, they don’t have to read it.
I have no idea about the rest of that conversation on Fet. But I find it more than a little ironic that you’d be that dismissive about someone’s mental/emotional problems while being so protective/defensive about your daughter’s. Just sayin.
No see. If Jes was trying to pull the ol’ “My disorder makes it so I can’t clean my rooooom! Waah!” I’d tell her to pull her head out of her ass and clean her fucking room.
Is it too bad she has issues? Yep. Life is going to be extra hard for her and that sucks. That just means she has to work harder than the average joe. It doesn’t mean she gets a pass on basic life skills.
Read what zelda wrote. She’s not as mean as I am, but she’s saying what I’m saying.
Not having read the original post, I really don’t have the whole context. I was implying that it was possible for her to be experiencing crippling depression. If she’s otherwise functioning and the only so-called issue is the cleaning thing? Right there with you.
hahaha. I used to think I read here for your awesome writing but sometimes just the drama in the comments is worth the read. What a hoot! For the record, I think you are mean sometime but no meaner than anyone else, just brave enough to say it out loud!hahahahahahaha
Oh, and I actually like the PTSD thing. Maybe that is what I will tell my hubby when he grabs the belt because I let him run out of clean socks again ;)
*snort*
Take pictures?
So glad I’m reading this. I have an AWFUL time putting away all the clothes in the closet. Washing and drying I can handle…but I can’t seem to get them put away. Now I know why. My ex of 15 years ago beat me with a hanger…yep, Mommy dearest style. And not in any fun way either, he was truly abusive and would probably have killed me someday. I’m so happy to now know why I don’t put clothes away easily!!! Supressed Fear of Hangers!!!
:) :)
I think you are totally amazing :)
Just fyi
You’re just brave enough to say what a lot of us think.
I would be that everyone has had some form of abuse in their lives. It’s unfortunate that they use it as a crutch to not meet their responsibilities or reach their full potential. Not sure who is the bigger idiot her or her “Master”
Maybe I will try to tell Master that I can’t paint the porch railings tomorrow because I was once horribly abused with paint rollers.
Meh, he wouldn’t buy that.
As soon as I read the post, I knew the holier than thou squad would light up the comments section. Woot! excellent entertainment. You are the bestest troll ever!
OK, you are too traumatized to sweep and vaccuum. If you do ALL the other chores, I will do the floors. Deal?
sin´s last [type] ..The Mid Point of the Punishment
I love this blog, but before today I had no idea that the comments could be so entertaining too.
You say a lot of things out loud that I only wish I had the courage to let out.
Ok, A & I know a couple of people with PTSD- diagnosed and undiagnosed- the difference is that they don’t splash it all over the internets in an attempt to get attention.
Ok, A & I know a couple of people with PTSD- diagnosed and undiagnosed- the difference is that they don’t splash it all over the internets in an attempt to get attention. They deal with it the best they can and sometimes it affects the people around them or other aspects of their lives, much of the time it doesn’t. Triggers aren’t a constant thing and it’s not always the same things.
I’m with kaya, this screams “laziness” and “cry for attention” more than “I have serious psychological issues”. If she wants help she should see a therapist about it. Otherwise, STFU and mop the damn floor.
puleeze nora. what do you think kaya is doing here? don’t you think publishing close-ups of herself sucking a cock are a slight cry for attention? buy a vowel.
i really think the quality of a blog can be measured by the comments received. and a majority of the readers who comment here are clearly immature and uneducated, not to mention closed-minded.
Of course it’s for attention! Gawd. You think I’m in denial or something?
Everyone who blogs publicly does it for attention.
I pay money every month to have this place to splash my shit. Because I like it. I know you want to think you’re so very insightful and that you’ve stumbled upon my secret motivation that nobody else on the interwebs is smart enough to have figured out, but, um, no. You aren’t any more “observant” than everyone else on the web.
if you ever grow up, you will someday regret publishing this explicit garbage for all the world to see. the fact that you have even published pics of your own children in this context pretty much proves that you are out of touch with reality. perhaps you should get out of the house a little more often.
And people wonder why I follow kaya through fetlife? Where else would I find the massive amounts of entertainment that fill my waking hours?
I totally TOTALLY think that kaya snark = blow juice/milk/coffee/whatever out your nose cuz your laughing so hard that if you didnt, you would surely choke to death.
Oh.. and kaya and her writings inspire me to be real, and to be me… sooo… phoey on you head patters.
*Holy cow do I need to go to bed…*
Too fuckin funny! I love your snark! And of course peeps get on their high horses and tell ya you’re sooo bad for saying what everybody thinks. I’m reading ya, and will keep reading ya if only because you’re down to earth no nonsense sensible…and funny to boot! Usually I don’t read the comments, but this one was calling at me, great giggles!
rose´s last [type] ..Update- as requested
Well now I need to be your friend on Fet so I can see these awesome gems :(
hazy memories of Grandma’s ugly yellow linoleum at just the simple whiff of Pinesol
This made me LOL
I would like to point out that it would be mean if Kaya said this to her face on this site. If she didn’t, what’s the harm? What’s the harm in ranting about something that bothers you or makes you go wtf on your own blog or journal? I mean…when you have your own blog and journal, especially if you have it for friends only, you can bitch and talk about whatever the fuck you want to.
Sure, the woman in question could’ve been beaten by a mop or broom when she was a kid (I’m still having trouble seeing how someone could’ve gotten beaten by a vaccum cleaner). If it’s something that bothers her as badly as she claims, then her and her master need to get to therapy or get some help so she can try to overcome it.
I’m a former victim of verbal and emotional abuse that I got through bullying. It got a point where I contemplated doing some things that I don’t want to mention. While it haunts me at times that I considered doing these “things I don’t want to mention”, I don’t let it dominant me.
Sure, I can understand that we all deal with situations differently and that it takes time for the wounds to heal. However, some people take the fact that they were abused too far. A good example? People that were abused themselves and manipulate other people to get them to do things their way and treats them like shit if they don’t comply (my grandma is a good example of this).
I’m sorry if this girl has a problem with the mop and vaccum. However, if she can’t handle cleaning the house with those products, she should try to find alternative ways to clean the floor that won’t trigger her.
Lynnsey´s last [type] ..Welcome -
boys howdy peeps sure don’t get you Kaya.
i laughed, and snorted. You one funny snarky gal.
gods i luffs you for it.
*”E”EEEEKKKK*
omg what is it sweetie?
THE BROOOMMMMM
*mwahahahahahaha*
(oh, was that insensitive of me? my bad)
nilla
Hi..My name is Mira. and I have ISD. Those pesky socks just got away from me and I couldn’t take it any more!
Thank you Kaya for the giggles! Keep up what ever the hell it is that you’re doing!
I read this (and other posts) out loud to Master and I just wanted to say thank you…He now promises to beat me with a broom handle so He can see the progression of broom inflicted PTSD in action. :P
Sephani Paige´s last [type] ..Head Brain Skull Thingie
Laughed until I cried.
Seriously.
You’re stealing my posts? Not cool. :-(