Crying over you
I wanted to make a poll – but it involved wordpress plugins and widgets and shit like that, which really really baffle me, and I feel guilty bugging other people to do these things for me when they’ve tried to tell me how to do it myself a hundred times or more and I still don’t get it. (run on sentence anyone?)
So, forget the nifty little poll with the cute little buttons to click (*pout*). I’ll just ask a question.
Does crying signify the end of a scene, or is it just the beginning?
LikeTags: crying, opinions, questions, sadism
Uncategorized | kaya | 
Thursday February 26th, 2009 8:09am
It can be both – I much prefer the ending of a scene because a rush of “peace” is sure to follow.
When you cry, is it because of the pain or something else?
the release I think – never cry because of pain that’s what screaming is for.
I can’t help ya out with this one because we don’t scene, but I hope you have a great day!
junebug
Thank you! I hope you do too!
Depends. Master usually hates it when I cry, or when I scream in pain. So, if I want pain, I better *enjoy* pain and sound like I’m enjoying it, not suffering.
Anyone want to explain masochism to him? ;) Nah, just joking. Wouldn’t change it.
Anyway. Sometimes he stops, because I’m crying. Other times he keeps going, though I can usually tell he’s uncomfortable with it. Not always, but… like 55% of the time?
Honestly? In the dictionary by the word masochism, is your picture..lol. How you do what you do when it involves so much of denying what you may *want*… honey, you are the biggest masochist I know!
Heh. Hadn’t thought of it that way. :D
Thanks. *bounces around for a bit*
If it’s the kind of crying that’s just wailing cause it hurts, there’s usually a pause for some soothing before carrying on. If it’s full on emotional release that’s when he’ll start to bring me gently back to planet earth.
So he’s not interested so much in making you cry because of the pain itself?
Oh he loves making me cry because the pain itself, but he likes to do the soothing thing too in a kind of dom way…..like he’s looking after me. Then he carries on. Ha! Them’s sadists for ya.
For us, tears can signify the start, mid-point, and end of a scene.
He can be spectacularly turned on by my tears from say, being sick. I had an awful bout of the flu about a month back and after puking and praying for a quick death at 4:30 am, I crawled back into bed crying. (I’m a big whiny-baby when it comes to throwing up. Hate it.). I laid there and cried and those tears (to him) made me vulnerable and weak and small and sick. He likes that in a woman. :). He tied me up, sweaty, pale, barfy, and all, and took advantage of me. Those were tears that STARTED a scene. (I vomited 4X after that. Nice.)
When he beats me especially hard, I’ll cry which somehow to him signals a halfway marker. He never stops when I cry, if anything those tears during a scene spur him on greatly, but usually about the time I start bawling is about the time our play *peaks*, if you will.
And of course there’s the tears that come after, when he’s done and I’m crumpled up at his feet, if it was a brutal session, (god, can’t I find better words? I hate that term! *session* Ew.), I’ll bawl like a little girl and snot on his shirt. That certainly happens at the end of a beating if it was vicious enough.
But, i’m like, the town cryer anyways. Commercials, sunsets, a good enough cup of coffee and I’m like a sieve. So maybe I’m not a good one to be answering this. Lol.
melissa
Can you explain what makes you cry? Is it the pain or.. something else?
(I’m a town cryer too! Sheesh. My eyes get chapped if I watch too many Folgers commercials. :D )
Well, the easiest tears to describe are ones from pain. He hurts me and well, I cry. I am no physical masochist. Paddles (wood sucks!) make me bawl, as does the singletail. With paddles it’s because they fucking hurt, plain and simple. Lol. And with the singletail, it’s a combo of the pain and some sort of primal release that goes on when he whips me. I wish I could articulate it better than that, but while I fear whips, they are also the most *natural* feeling implement he uses. Somehow it feels *right* for me to be whipped. And that makes me cry. (???)
Then there are tears of frustration from his bondage. Bondage is a major kink for him and he’s ruthless about it. The pain of the bondage itself, (ropes/straps etc. cutting into my skin), and the simple but overwhelming frustration at my helplessness/lack of mobility drive me to tears relatively quickly. He enjoys restraining a girl for hours. He’ll tie me and leave me (I know, I know, not SSC) and after like the first hour I am a snotty, weeping you’d-think-I-was-dying slave. It just pretty much sucks. So the waterworks start.
Then there are tears of catharsis. Those are afterwards. And tears of ohmygodilovehimsomuch (remember Raising Arizona when they kidnapped the baby and she’s totally dramatic and crying? ME.) which are always nice. If not a little embarassing.
I’m a weeping willow. Lol.
Forgot one more kind of weep-fest. Sometimes I just want him so fucking bad it makes me cry. Lust, frustration, a feeling of joy that I’m with him. These tears can be shed whenever we’re about to fuck, especially if it’s been awhile.
Mmmmmmm.
melissa
Hmm….this is something I’ve tried to write about in the past, without success, cos the words get all tangled up.
I don’t tend to cry through the pain if all is well with my world, but if I’m struggling with something emotionally (usually not connected with us) then the pain seems to trigger the release of the tears. So, for us, it usually ends up being in the middle, because M senses that if he stops when I start to cry I won’t release all of it. He just keeps going until he can see I’m both physically and emotionally spent.
Scared the hell out of me the first time it happened because I’m not one to cry in front of others, and it often unsettles men doesn’t it? I guess that’s the thing about dominant men though, they’re less likely to let it unsettle them.
love and hugs xxx
My next question was gonna be – why do you think you cry? But you kinda sorta answered it already with “struggling with something emotionally”.
Are there times though, when you all is well and you cry anyway? Do you know why you’re crying then?
I asked Master about this and we both agreed. In all the time we’ve been together, I’ve never once cried during pain submission if all is well with my world emotionally….but we’ve learned the pain does provide the trigger for any frustration, anger or sadness to be released when somethings wrong.
x
master is not satisfied until i cry and i apoligize, if i only apoligize is like… the beggening of something.
So you’re talking more of a punishment-type thing where you’d have to apologize? Or am I not understanding you?
Well, I love to finish a scene with an abundance of tears, snot and sniffles but the tears don’t end the scene. They more than likely started just a wee bit into it and continued until my face was blotchy and my breath was coming in hiccups and my snot was coating most everything. *nods*
We try not to do that in public, though, cuz it scares the shit out of people.
Why do you cry?
I am teh nosy bitch today.
It’s just the beginning.
That sounds so ominous…lol
Why do you cry?
Cause it hurts… Cause I’m scared…
I’m one of those masochists that sometimes it doesn’t feel good by any means and that’s why I like it.
And the scared part? It’s cause I’m afraid this time I won’t be able to handle it. I’m always wrong. But I’m still always scared. lol.
I don’t always cry, though.
Depends on the scene and who one is playing with. I have had it be any number of stages.
Any preference for tears? I mean, is it ever a goal?
See? Good thing you didn’t want to bother tryin to dig for the emails ’cause you can’t ask a question like that and expect people not to discuss it in comments anyway. :P
lol. smartass!
i don’t think tears are always my Master’s goal, but depending on the day, they may start before we even start a scene (probably because i still have issues with liking pain) or i may not cry until the end. i also have a hate-love relationship with crying, because it makes me self-conscious but it also is a relief to get those tears out.
I certainly hope it doesn’t mean the end of a scene. I cry at the drop of a hat…it would make for some very very short scenes. I always mention when I meet a new Dom, before we play- if crying isn’t their thing, I’m not their girl >.<
I’ve always been sensitive though- weddings, births, really good commercials, other people crying. It can all set me off.
Master has never beaten me to tears before. If I did cry, it would probably upset him and the beating would stop. He prefers me stoic.
With my Master, his goal is to bring me to tears, his choice, beginning, middle or end. He likes that it makes me more vulnerable and open.
Crying usually signals the beginning of a more sexual tone in our activities. Nothing seems to get him harder then when I start to cry…
EmmyBlue
Well, I cry a whole lot (I’m not going to suffer clogged tear ducts from lack of crying any time soon!) so it’s a good thing it’s not a problem for my Master!
Like melissa’s ummm, Top/Master/Whatever (she only refers to him as “he”, and I don’t want to make an “ass out of u and -mption” as Samuel Jackson puts it) anyway, my Master has gotten hard when I’ve cried from feeling sick or bad. He tried to be embarrassed about it the first couple times, but I always see an erection as an opportunity to make things better, so now he’s happy to just go with it. He is a sick bastard, mind you, it’s just that I love him for it!
Crying used to be an end to a scene for us, or at least the sign that the beating part of the scene was over, and it was time for the fucking part. Now that we have grown together, and know each other so intimately, we can take that further and he can beat me past the point when I start crying — which is of course what I masturbate about, so it’s wonderful to be able to start exploring that. Heh, “wonderful.” Painful and scary and hard … and wonderful!
Of course there is also punishment in our relationship, and during a punishment, it’s assumed that my tears aren’t going to end things. So I just start crying the minute the punishment starts, really, in vague hopes that it will bring it to a swifter conclusion! ;)
There are so many kinds of tears, as so many other commenters above me have pointed out. If you are playing with someone who knows you, they should recognize the different reasons behind why salt water is pouring down your face … and adjust what they are doing accordingly. Why should tears of joy or release end things? And, if you want to play that way, tears of pain and fear don’t have to end things, either. But *you* know that! ;)
i have this craving inside me just to give my tears to Someone. to me it is incredibly hot, intense, spiritual thing to know that person drove me to that place where i could not hold back anything, least of all tears from Him. i even put it in one of my poems. why cry? because it is like nothing is held back, broken in a sense i think.
Crying for me anyways, is one of the only ways I can honestly release pent up tension and stress. I can try other things like having a bath or taking a nap, but it is a full out bawl fest that cleans my gutters so to speak.
For us, I donno, since I got sick it has been more a crying do to the pain at the begining/middle/end then the former stoic or giggly me. I know this bothers Him somewhat, but I cannot help it. I get hurt, I cry.
But I cry at the weirdest things, the way He thanks me for dinner. The random way He sang my favorite disney song to me when I was depressed. The fact that every loaf of bread I just made is really bottom heavy and didnt rise well. Its what I do. I cry. Me=cry.
Master doesnt usually stop if I start to cry. In fact, if He knows I am really stressed about something , He will try and continue things so I cry harder, releasing all the stress I have cooped up inside. He is good that way!
after all.. a stress free slave is a happy slave right?
Kendril’s kitten
It’s where the scene gets good for me. That’s when I quit trying to be all tough & shit. I’m not a screamer. I can’t. I’ve sorta tried. It just feels dumb & disingenuous. I just suck up the pain. And when I c a n n o t d e a l anymore, then I start to cry. Then things get very blubbery & smushy & swirly & beggy & needy & horny & can-I-please-lick-the-bottom-of-your-feet-doanyanyanything. That’s when the “scene” actually gets started.
But if he tells me to go ahead & cry. Well then I can’t do that either. Then I have to be all EXTRA tough.
I am a stupid stupid girl.
I just want to register my complaint that because I work during the day I never get to be part of the “conversation” in the comments. Just my sad little comment… coming in after the party has already ended… being pitiful.
(sorry, I’m drunk dialing… errr I mean commenting)
Ummm…generally I’ve noticed that things stop when I start crying. I’m not sure whether he is ‘waiting’ for me to cry or whether it’s just the ‘friendly’ dom in him that thinks I’ve had enough if I do so.
k
Crying signals nothing. It is an artifact.
my first public scene with Master at our local event was a great time for both of us. i was up in chains, and at one point he was hurting me. and He came around in front of me, and said, “are you okay?” i said, “yes, but if you keep gog like that, i’m going to cry!”
and He said, “that’s okay.”
and it was a HUGE relief! about three minutes later i was crying. a few minutes after that, i was sobbing. and the scene continued for about half an hour. i can honestly say it was one of the most amazing scenes we have had to date.
sometimes, when i cry, it means he has accomplished what he wanted, and he can wrap things up. sometimes, when i start to cry, it means, i’m letting go, and it’s time to really get going.
*smile* so, as many others have said, it depends. but for ME? i tend to like it best when i cry early, and KEEP crying throughout.
Master’s ~melly
The intermission.
The part where you’re coddled, held and kissed, you’re caressed and talked down from hysterics.
And when you settle down, it picks back up again.
Crying = intermission in toy’s world.
(i have to go thru and read everyone else’s responses and your opinion)
xoxx
for me the crying can either mean that the scene is at an end, or that i finally have reached the place i need to be and have that release. so sometimes it is the beginning and sometimes it is just the closure that i need.
I never think about trying to make him cry. Just not that high of a priority for me. I’ve heard him sniffle a time or two, but his main form of emotional release during our time is vocal, very vocal. Now afterwards, that’s a different story. When he’s dropping he can really let go with the tears and they have a way of making me feel closer to him and love him even more.
E) All of the above.
I will admit that I really, really love happy tears (on myself or someone else) as a scene conclusion. The sort where you cry because nothing else can let all that wonderful emotion out.
But, you know, there are lots of other fun tears at various points during scenes.
It really depends. For us, it can be both, but usually I don’t cry until it’s over and I’m dealing with cathartic release. But usually that’s way after it’s over. I don’t usually cry during scenes, but sometimes I do, and when I do, his cock gets hard.
Just sayin.. it does.
Depends if the Master is a sadist…if he is,,,well then I’d say it’s untold joy.
And then, the REAL fun (agony) begins.
kaila
Guess. What do you think Frank would say? Want to take a guess about me?
I bet I have a pretty good guess on your answer. I’m guessing it sure isn’t the end. Am I right?
(cutting and pasting my words on this from FL)
I was thinking about crying. I know one of the reasons that I’ll end up in tears is because my feelings are hurt, and they are hurting far more than my body is.
I think I’m blurring the line between sadism and love? Or.. forgetting my place. Or something. But the fact is, I get “hurt” that he’s hurting me and that he doesn’t care that he’s hurting me. That he’s not affected by my pleas to stop and I feel… unloved.
It’s nothing new, I’ve been doing this for ages. But I was just wondering if anyone else cries for that reason.
I cry from the pain, too. I cry for the release. More often than not, crying is the beginning for him, not the end. I don’t think it’s ever been the end.
But sometimes I cry because I want to feel love and I don’t want to be hurt. Maybe it’s a renewed realization of my place, too. That what I want just doesn’t matter and he keeps on doing what he wants to do.
Who is “FL” that you copied and pasted this from?
This is IT!!! This is EXACTLY what i feel too and why i cry. holy shit!
Fucking A, awesome. I need to know who FL is so I can re-print this.
love it
FL is FetLife, darling. This was what I had posted on my note about crying on FetLife.
My words so you’re welcome to them. :)
My Master loves when he brings me to tears because it doesn’t happen often at all during ‘everyday life’…with us, it’s usually at the end but very randomly it will be in the middle. Basically, it’s when I’m at the point that I can’t hold emotion in-it has to come out and that’s the form it takes. And that all depends on how far my Master decides to take me.