Cleanliness is next to nothing, apparently.
I got called to clean another house. You remember that very very part-time job I have? Yeah. *shudder*
Apparently, this guy who owns these homes either has a knack for renting his places out to people who can’t be bothered to clean or more people than I realize live in filth.
Because.. just, ew. Fucking ew.
7 hours, one box of SOS pads and a bottle of dish soap, plus countless rags later- the kitchen is clean.
Except the floor. And the dining area.
Srsly.
Cupboards, counters, stovetop and oven. 7 HOURS. Oh, and a window.
I spent half the day fuming over Master’s latest unkind words about our house, because in comparison to the sludge (literally. Sludge. No lie) that I’m trying to wipe off the counters over there? This house is fucking spotless.
So there.
Goodbye guilt, hello righteous anger.
*beams*
I spent the other half of the day reminding myself that it doesn’t matter if *I* think our house is “clean enough”, if he isn’t pleased, then I have to be better.
Goodbye righteous anger, hello acceptance.
*beams*
Anyway.
So I gave up for the day over at that dirty house, came home about 7-ish, and no sooner do I walk in the door and Master gets called in to work. Now he’s gone and I’m alone. Boo.
I’m going to bed very soon though. I’m fucking beat.
Well, I’m tired. I wish I was beat. Or had been beat. Or will be beat soon.
Dinner was a bust. I’d tossed a lasagna in the crock pot, figuring that since I wouldn’t be here, everyone could just help themselves whenever they got hungry and I wouldn’t have to worry about it.
Naturally, I walk in the door and voices start clamoring. “I’m hungry!”, “When’s dinner?”, “cunt, where’s my food!?” I’m all like, Dude! Can’t you fucking SMELL the BURNING shit in the crock pot? Didn’t you see that giant 6 quart fucking thing sitting on the counter? Kee-rist, man.”
The lasagna was mush. Tasted like shit.
I served it anyway.
Meh. They ate it. They bitched- but they ate it.
….
….
Master needs to come home. I hate going to bed without him.
….
I had to stop at the grocery store today and I had Babygirl with me, and this little old lady who, I think, had a touch of Alzheimers, was just enamored with the baby. She must have asked me how old Babygirl was a dozen times *at least*. Just about every other sentence she wanted to know how old she was. And of course Babygirl was being her usual adorable self, grinning her slobbery toothless grin at anyone who looked at her.
This old lady was SO cute. She could barely see over the shopping cart she was so short and with Babygirl up in her car seat, Little Old Lady was standing up on her tiptoes (while I kept a careful hand on her arm. She was wobbly!) touching her little hands and talking to her. I was seriously starting to wonder if she was lost because she had nothing with her. No purse, no cart. But she wouldn’t stop talking about the baby long enough for me to ask her anything.
Then, all of a sudden she turns around and yells- and I mean YELLS across the store “Hey WALTER! COME LOOK AT THE BABY! WALTERRR!” and around the corner comes this little old dude, pushing a cart and going “There you are. I told you to stay in the produce!”
She’s flapping her hand at him to shut him up and saying, “Look! Look at how cute she is. How old did you say she was, dearie? Look at her smile. Look at that. She likes me, Walter. Oh she’s so soft. Touch her hand. She’s so tiny! Ha! She’s laughing at me!” and then she’d hoot and dance around.
Oh my god.
Too fucking cute.
Finally, after a lengthy conversation about cloth diapers and how Walter had to change them all with a clothespin on his nose, and how easy kids have it today what with them disposable dealies, I started inching my way toward the check out line, Little Old Lady still singing to Babygirl as I went.
Just too funny.
Well shoot. He ain’t home and I’m falling asleep in the chair. So, g’night.
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Uncategorized | kaya | 
Tuesday September 15th, 2009 8:47pm
Awwww… what a cute story about the little old lady and babygirl. Brought a smile to my face.
Sleep tight, Kaya! You earned it!
lol that was too funny. Little old ladies can be adorable at times.
I told you to stay in the produce!!! So cute!
Glad baby girl is doing so well, too.
Very very cute!
xx milla
[rq=636778,0,blog][/rq]A girl.
ya know, I’m sure critical of the way I keep house – keeping up with 6 people, 2 dogs, 4 cats, guinea pig, rabbit, numerous friends, a 50 hour work week (outside home) – commuting to montreal to take care of my mother, volunteering etc – you get the picture – but over the past few months I’ve been in people’s houses who don’t even have a quarter of the demands on time I do and YUCK – their houses are GROSS – I come home and look around and think, HEY, its not SO bad!
It seems to me that your house must be awesome – although thinking that having the beautiful little one there defintiely creates more “stuff” around the place .. and when there is “stuff” theer is always the sense that there is “dirt” which just is NOT true.
I used to work for a housecleaning agency. There were some people who were just… Just… *shudder* God help them – I’m quite sure no one else is up to the task.
These days I torrent episodes of that new show called “Hoarders” on A&E. It makes my skin crawl. I mean, I know it’s a disease, but the stuff that those people say to justify having so much rotting filth in their house that over THIRTY cat carcasses can be found in it? My God, that is just genius. Greatest new show ever. But they need to extend the timeline – they can’t fix all these houses in 2 days, and it’s so sad when it doesn’t get clean and… And… I’m at work and I need to stop rambling.
But, Hoarders. For real. Watch it. You’ll cringe, you’ll dry-heave, you’ll cry, and you’ll go bathe in bleach after. But it’s totally worth it.
~Chloe
[rq=638801,0,blog][/rq]Randomness Numero Cuatro
What an AWESOME story about the lady… I love people like that. It made my morning and you tell it so well.
I have cleaned apartments after tenants have vacated them and holy hell I have NEVER seen anything more disgusting. Feces all over bathroom walls, taking hours to wash one room… yeah, you know what I mean.
Oh, and I totally agree with Chloe. Watch hoarders and then you will want to get up no matter what time it is and clean your house. The last time I watched it, I cleaned out my fridge and took two garbage bags of donations to the local thrift store that I pulled out of closet. Seriously.
[rq=639492,0,blog][/rq]Mornings
Hey kaya, tottaly off topic but I looked you up on Fetlife but I couldn’t find you, I must admit i only search unde “kaya” didn’t know what else to search for:-)
suggestions????
Hugs
[rq=639683,0,blog][/rq]
It’s kaya. Honest..lol
Here: http://fetlife.com/users/1182
At least you know they can’t get along without you! You know know those really bad days when they are all driving you crazy? Remember that you have the power to make them all fall down dead just by not coming home and pointing to the food. Tee hee!
Loved the little lady – so fun to bring that kind of joy to a life that has lost much.
Have seen these kind of messes close up – amazing. You are a very strong woman.
lovely story about the old lady :-)
And as for the house cleaning – I have lived in houses that were grim. Seriously grim when I moved in (both rented ones and one we bought) – the bastards didn’t bother to clean it up at all before we moved in. I don’t know about you, but if I were selling a house, I would CLEAN THE DAMN THING before letting anyone buy it! But at least we got it for a bargain price because it was also a fixer-upper.
I don’t know how people live like that in all the filth seriously.
Kaya,
I actually had a roommate once who lived that way. granted, it was only his room that suffered, but when he moved out, the landlord had to replace the entire carpet. I’ll be the first to admit that I can be a little messy in my own home, but you could clean my house in less than seven house when I move out.
Dave
I watch old episodes of How Clean is Your House to make me feel better.
[rq=644672,0,blog][/rq]Public Post
Absolutely love the “little old lady” thing. When people get REAL OLD, they are more entertaining to me…OMG, I bet one day I will be JUST LIKE THAT! Bet the baby is growing like crazy. As for housework, don’t know what to tell ya, but the crockpot thing…maybe their noses were broken..tee-hee. Just trying to figure how in the world they could not smell cooking food!
[rq=644789,0,blog][/rq]Violate My Mouth
I still cannot believe you posted a link to pictures of your granddaughter as well as your daughter on a website such as this. I am thinking the least of you or your so called masters worries would be you not cleaning.
Oh no, Anonymous. How dare a person have a full, loving, fulfilling life. How dare they share it with people who care about them. How DARE they not fit into your personal worldview.
Please.
Sorry for feeding the trolls, Kaya. I just have this problem with letting judgmental people say whatever they want from their self-perceived notions of superiority.
Nothing wrong with sharing. However,m when it involves an infant or daughter that has no idea she is being linked to a site like this, THAT is wrong. What if someone happens to recognize Kaya from the may pictures she posts, then that same person now recognizes her daughter. Social services could be called in and then what? Her Master should never have allowed all of this. His job should be to protect her children and grandchildren as well.
Considering her master never touches the kids in an inapropriate way and they are never made to participate in anything or have anything done to them its fine.
Not to mention Kaya asked permissiont o share her daughters pictues, never shows her daughters face, and never gives out any real details its the same as any other blog. Only difference is she acknowledge that she *gasp* has a sex life.
You are wrong. I looked at the pictures of her granddaughter and also looked at pictures of her daughter from the link kaya posted. Go check it out for yourself. Her daughter may hve given permission to have her daughters pic posted, but she certainly doesnt know it was on this site.
How do you know what Jes knows? Maybe not the specific details of the site, but you have absolutely no right nor privilege to be talking about what ANYBODY “knows.” Not unless you are actually in the house, living with this family. Please dismount your high horse before it bucks you off.
And supposing social services WAS called in? What do you think they would do about a grand/mother posting pictures of her children online? That’s not illegal, Ms. nameless coward.
You’ve no idea what my kids know or don’t know, and neither is it your concern. I’d think YOU have better things to do in your life than worry about what I’m linking to.
Or maybe not. Sad.
Call social services if you want. I’m not worried about it. Obviously.
And seriously? You ARE a coward. Anonymous, my ass.
I am wrong?
How am I wrong. You have no proof her master has ever touched the kids in an inappropriate way. And who cares if her MINOR daughter who has no legal say in anything doesn’t know exactly where the pictures are posted?
Kaya never posts pictures of her kids and sexual situations in the same post, and this isn’t a kinky sex site. It’s a life blog of someone who is kinky.
Lasgna in a crock pot? I love cooking in a crock pot, where can I get the recipe? of course, I would like the recipe where it doesn’t taste like shit, if it can be helped!
Really you’re making it the same way as you do when you cook it in the oven, you just don’t cook the noodles first.
I spray the crock pot with Pam first, and start with sauce on the bottom. Then I break the dry noodles to fit in as best I can (it’s fun, like a puzzle!), layer the noodles, sauce and cheeses, and turn the crock pot on.
Just don’t let it cook for 8 hours and it shouldn’t taste like shit. ;-)
That’s a great idea – how long do you cook it for, and on which setting (mine has hi/lo).
I use fresh pasta that I buy in sheets, so I’m guessing that my cooking time would be reduced.
Low- 3 to 5 hours. Not sure how long with fresh pasta though. Where do you buy that kind of pasta?
At most large grocery stores. It’s in the coolers (usually near the cheese and deli meats). It’s sold in packages of seven sheets here (Canada) – I can even get whole wheat!
It tastes better than the kind you have to boil, and the best part is that you don’t have to go to the trouble of precooking the noodles and then scalding yourself layering them. Not the kind of pain I like. ;)
They’re a bit more expensive, but I can really taste a difference in my lasagna.
Oh, one other thing. My kids also like my mexican lasagna. I use tortilla bread in place of pasta and sometimes use shredded chicken in place of ground beef. I also add corn and beans to the meat mixture. I change up the seasonings a bit too; I used lots of cumin, and add lime juice and cilantro if I have it. Change the cheeses to mexican type and voila.
I bet that would work well in the crock pot as well; I think I’ll try it.
Thanks for the idea and sorry for the hijack! :)
When we go the Philly to the Italian Market there is an awesome pasta shop where you can buy any pasta imaginable, even crab and lobster filled raviolis!
Wish I could remember the name of the pasta sho, but it escapes me right now. I do know the name of the amazing cheese sho, Claudio’s. and a piece of advice, avoid Geno’s and Pat’s for the “famous philly cheesesteaks”, unless you are a fan of cheese whiz!
Kaya,
i love reading your posts. sometimes the things you write about make me laugh out loud…knowing how crock pots can burn things…ugh! How could they miss that smell?!
Way off topic here, but the house next door to us had a horrendous fire last night, I woke to a girls terrified screams (she (13) was hanging out the 2nd floor window trying to escape the flames, and was saved by a fireman, as was her 12 yo sister.) The sounds, the heat the sheer violence of such and inanimate thing as fire…terrifying. The parents were not at home. Their 16 yo son did not survive. i have been a wreck all morning, didn’t naturally get much sleep last night. Real world trumps kink I guess. I hugged my kids extra hard this morning. Thanks for letting me vent/heal a bit.
Nilla
[rq=652357,0,blog][/rq]Barn Dance
Omg. What a traumatic event! That’s awful. My heart just breaks for anyone having lost a child. I can’t imagine how horrible that is.
I’m going to hug my kids extra hard today too.
God. I just bet you’re a wreck! I would be too. You can vent here anytime you need to.
За статью большое спасибо, все по делу, достаточно много кто это уже использует