Can I quit?
Today, well hell, the last several days, a week maybe, I’d go vanilla I think. I’m just not feeling *anything* even remotely close to desiring kink. Nothing. Nada. Don’t want sex, don’t want pain, don’t want NUTHIN.
But I know I’ve gone through this valley before so I’m not too worried. It ebbs and flows, right? And really, if it ebbed away forever, I still wouldn’t be worried. I could do vanilla.
LIE! I couldn’t. That was a lie. I’m sorry.
I’m not even in the mood for Christmas. Now *that’s* worrisome. Maybe I need some St. John’s Wart, eh? (opinions on SJW? Good stuff or no?)
Anyway, so Am’s gotten a couple of babysitting jobs lately and yesterday she asked me if she could take me out to dinner and shopping. Just me, some mom and daughter time. So of course the first thing I feel is guilt.
I’m hardwired for guilt I think.
I felt guilty that she’d be spending her hard earned cash on me, I felt guilty that we’d be going out to eat without Master and B-man (and to our most fav-o-rite Chinese buffet place too. The one that snatches your plate out from under your nose.) But I had to just let it go. She wanted to do something nice for me, to spend some time together.. so guilt or not… I agreed and we went.
It was nice. I don’t do things like that without Master very often so it felt a little weird, but she’s a good kid and she’s good company. I like talking to her and listening to her prattle on about her friends and who’s saying what and sleeping with who and backstabbing who. She’s a good listener too, she loves to ask me questions about my teenage years and how things were back then.
After we ate, we walked around the store for a bit. She bought me a book, Brother Odd, the last (I think) of a 3 part series by Dean Koontz. We had a really pleasant evening together.
Before we left I had made sure that supper was ready for the men-folk, and we weren’t gone for very long, about 2 hours tops, yet I was still feeling guilty. I mean, my goodness, Master had to serve Himself! He had to entertain Himself! He was all alone without ME! *sob*
Truth be told, He probably enjoyed the break.
It was just weird. Or something. I’m so.. I don’t know what. Dependent? on him. He would never deny me the time spent with her anyway, but I hadn’t discussed it in fine detail with him so I wasn’t feeling like I had full permission either. It felt a little bit naughty, even though it wasn’t, and I felt sneaky, even though I wasn’t. He knew exactly where I was and with whom and why and for how long… but I was all alone! I felt very much like I’d been untethered. And I didn’t like it at all.
I just think I’m very strange.
But I didn’t let that affect my evening with Am either. She was doing something very nice for me and I didn’t let that internal angst show. She’s a good kid.
She’s giving a speech pretty soon about homosexual’s right to marry. She’s tending to focus on the bible, because she says that’s what most people bring up when it comes to objections to gay marriage, but I don’t think she should only focus on the bible. Yet when she asks me what the other objections are, I kind of draw a blank. So if anyone has any (more) information or links to help me help her with this, I’d appreciate that.
I guess that’s it for today. :-)
~cunt
LikeTags: am, guilt, M/s rambles
Uncategorized | kaya | 
Thursday November 15th, 2007 10:50am
I have papers and a couple of books on the topic if you think it would help.
That’s sweet that you guys had that time. My dad and I have a “date” everytime I go home. We both have a great time at a Wings Joint and drink beer and watch sport uninterrupted by my sister wanting to talk about this or my mom wanting to schedule us for that. It’s a nice escape usually.
*SMACK* You aren’t vanilla. Geesh. Don’t make me come up(overish) there! I’m the vanilla one right now and it sucks! So shut up and go be kinky for us both!
Give me a shout if you have time today, I’ll be around prcrastinating :o) Cause I can, and it sucks!
*Kisses*
I don’t wanna be kinkyyyyyyyyyyy! *sniffle*
I would like those books and papers but lemme check and see when her speech is due. There may not be time to send anything, unless you can email them! ;-)
I can probably talk tomorrow? I’m just about to head out the door actually, Master’s got me a whole list of running around stuff to do. :(
I’d rather sleep if he didn’t mind! *hmmph*
You’re gunna be kinky and you’re gunna like it!
I can e-mail the papers, the main book I have is past supreme court cases dealing with the topic, I don’t know how helpful that would be.
Tomorrow I’m driving home, but you can call if you get a chance. It’s a long boring drive, and CD’s can only sustain me for so long.
I’d rather be sleeping too…hmm…
Hey.. if you can email that stuff that would be great. She has time before her speech is due. Thanks!
Being able to take your parents out, or anyone else who has taken care of you for that matter, is so much fun. Its a sign that you’re a good mommy. :) So no guilt!
Anyway.
Most objects that aren’t religious tend to being purely homophobic nature, i.e. it’s weird or unnatural. There are very “logical” reasonings that I’ve encountered that aren’t either religious or based on fear. The only one I can think of are based on economic theory, but I can’t remember where I saw it. This might be out her grasp, though, because it not only relies on logic but on economic theory. So. Also, I guess there are ones that say “it would destroy marriage” but that also harks back to religion and fear.
Most anti-gay marriage stuff is based on fear of that which is different, and therefore isn’t particularly easy to rebut. Her best bet, then, in that regard is refer to historical instances where certain people were not allowed to marry based on fear. (commonly used is black marriage during slavery times, but that had other things going on, interracial marriage, which people still have problems with, and technical definition of marriage as the transfer of ownership of a woman). She may also want to refer to anthropological examples of homosexual activity, though that also has problems.
p.s. sometimes I don’t write out words. Or I forget them entirely. if something doesn’t make sense, it’s probably for that reason.
ex: objects should be objections.
I do that too! I’m always skipping over words. I think them so that should be enough, right? :D
You mentioned some good things up there. Interracial marriage, slave marriages and female ownership is, I think, something to mention. I remember something about economic theory too, but you’re right. Not only might it be too hard to explain in the speech, but she and her peer group might not get it anyway.
Thank you!
The bigger problem is that sometimes the words I forget are negatives, and that confuses people. I still think it should be obvious though..
Anyway, if its not too late…
regarding the ideas that queer people do not want to get married, there is a lovely book, full of pictures taken when San Fran was allowing gay marriages. Its will make you cry little happy tears of sadness…
We Do: A celebration of gay and lesbian marriage.
You might be able to find it in a library if they are not too conservative.
hey, i’ve been reading (and enjoying!) your journal for a long time now, but this is my first time stepping out of the shadows, so to speak.
if your daughter needs something else to talk about that not specifically bible related, ask her if she’s going to address the belief that since homosexual couples can’t reproduce, their marriage would then not benefit society and thus the government has no reason to sanction it, give tax benefits, etc. it seems like every time i discuss the issue with someone that’s one of the first non-religious reasons that comes up. personally, i think it’s full of holes, but she might want to discuss it in her speech. good luck to her!
Oh good point! I hadn’t heard that before, but that’s definitely food for thought. Thank you!
She should bring up the natural aspect. The argument is always that homosexuality isn’t natural. Well, not so. At least 500 species of animals have been found to engage in homosexual relations (males mostly). Did you know Black Swan couples of the same sex (male of course) will often hijack the nests of other black swans so they can raise a family together?
It something which happens in nature, therefore, homosexuality is very natural. So there goes that lousy argument out the window. Bonobo monkies, flamingos, black swans, dolphins and even bison have the tendencies. Google, “Gay Flamingos”, and you’ll get a story of a couple of Flamingos in Briton who have been together and raising young (usually given to them by humans), for over six years! Het Flamingo couples don’t usually stay together that long.
Yes. Thank you!
Hi you…
As far as Am’s project? How about that fact that gay marriage somehow denigrates hetero marriages? That’s an argument I hear all too often around here and makes my eyes roll into the back of my head and I start to drool and want to fall over…
You said: “we weren’t gone for very long, about 2 hours tops, yet I was still feeling guilty. I mean, my goodness, Master had to serve Himself! He had to entertain Himself! He was all alone without ME! *sob* ” He he he…made me laugh as I feel the same way. Even if I am only in the next ROOM, doing something HE told me to do in the
FIRST place, I still feel illegal, lol, not being RIGHT there next to him, ready to leap over him and refill his tea if his hand muscle so much as TWITCHES in the direction of his mug! I think it just becomes hardwired after a while, that we *ought* to be RIGHTTHEREATTHEIRBECKANDCALL. It’s a funny feeling and you’re not alone in feeling it. I could be 10 ft. away, in the kitchen cooking for him, and I STILL have this mad internal debate EVERY time that instead of wasting 4 minutes standing in front of the frying pan, watching so his grilled cheese doesn’t burn, I SHOULD be in the bedroom standing next to HIM just-in-case he needs entertainment…
~magpie
Exactly. We need to clone ourselves or something..lol
For Am’s project, I really like the natural aspect that some others have posted. It is entirely true. Not to mention the fact that if the reason is because gay couples can not reproduce, then why is it that people who are infertile can marry? Why is it that first cousins can marry as long as the female is over 50 or is infertile? (Yes, first cousins can marry in the United States as long as they do not have children…) In fact they have to take fertility tests before they can obtain a marriage license. Hell, why could Master and I get married when we do not plan on having children?
If it somehow offends the sanctity of hereto marriages, why is that there is such a thing as drive-thru weddings? (Vegas, anyone?) And why is divorce now legal? I saw a great argument for this in which they used Brittany Spears (and other celebrities) to argue this… “We wouldn’t want a two homosexual individuals to ruin the 2 hour marriages that Brittany Spears and others have engaged in. Oh the horror!” (Can you see the sarcasm dripping off that one?)
Way to go Am on fighting this one! Hope this helps some.
Thank you! I told her about the reproduction angle last night. :-)
The main (non-biblical) points as I recall them:
Erodes the imstitution of marriage. There was this fabulous article in the New York Times a few months back, if Am searches for it she should be able to find it, or if not I can look and see if I saved it. Anyway, it was all about how it is actually FEMINISM which started the decline of marriage as-it-was, by enabling women to divorce, to own their own property, to have jobs outside the home, etc., and how the lower marriage rate and higher divorce rate quite clearly follows THAT trend, having nothing to do with homosexuality at all.
Economic, non-child-bearing. Clearly absurd if the law allows for adoption of children by gay couples! Not to mention, there are plently of gay/lesbian/bi people that had children in a previous het relationship. As far as economics are concerned, one only needs to look at the number of highly paid child-free people to see that is ridiculous. In fact, the point can be made that we do not penalize married couples for NOT having children, and yet give a tax advantage JUST for being married, so clearly the idea that we use marriage to encourage childbearing is out of touch with reality.
(And on the population thing, just a note that HEY, with global resources being what they are, more adoptions instead of additional procreation might not be a bad idea…)
The “natural” thing. Covered quite well by an above poster, another (but somewhat controversial) point that can be made is that if gay couples are adopting, then there is not a higher chance of them having gay children (NOT THAT IT MATTERS!)
As for the biblical thing, I will buy into people arguing against gay relations ONLY when those people also do not borrow money (paying interest is not allowed, y’know), gossip (EVER), covet (even in their minds only!) anything not theirs, etc., etc. Which doesn’t mean I will *agree*, mind you, but I cannot abide by the “pick the rules you like” mentality so many people have towards the bible.
actually it’s charging interest that’s not permitted
Very good points. Thank you! She’s going to have the best speech EVER! ;-)
Well i’m absolutely no help on the gay marriage thing because my opinion is if you’re in love it doesn’t matter what sex they are, if you choose to marry them you should be allowed..period (yeah i’m only a little opinionated) also you should be allowed to reap any benefits due a married couple (think Am could just say cuz bits said so? lol)
And as far as being away from Master, i’m with you there, when he sends me out to do something or i’m working i have a massive guilt complex about not being there…i get the same thing when i ask if He needs anything and He says no, my imagination runs away with me (ie what did i do that He doesn’t want me to do anything for him? mentally replay the laid out rules figuring out which one i violated. when in reality His desire right at that moment is for me to just be there. Yeah my mind is my worst enemy!)
Oh yeah! and as far as the kink factor…don’t worry it’ll be back…i’m guessing you’re hardwired for it like the rest of us, sometimes it just sorts out then something happens and WHAM-O it’s baaaaaaaaaack!
~His bits
think Am could just say cuz bits said so? lol
lol..she could, but somehow I don’t think she’d get that A that she’s after. ;-)
I did a speech on same sex marriages during my Introductory Speech class for college.
I found a story about a lesbian couple who had tried to marry and was denied. This was the article and I’m certain Am could goole it: “Why we sued For the Right to Marry,” a 2004 article written by Hilary Goodridge found in the Gay and Lesbian Review Worldwide.
This was a quote I found while doing my research. I don’t have the source though sadly.
“If procreation was truly the central purpose of marriage, then the infertile, the impotent, postmenopausal women, and the elderly should not be allowed to marry either because they cannot traditionally procreate.”
Andrew Sullivan has a book called “Same Sex Marriage: Pro and Con” which might be something Am could look into as well.
Another thing to talk about is the history of the definition of marriage and how it didn’t always apply to just men and women.
She can also look into state policy. For example, WI passed a law not too long ago that she may want to address in her speech as well. She could go into an exploration of the damages that law has caused.
Thank you! I think I may be overwhelming her with info. You all are just great. I loves ya. :-)
I get these essays and speeches all the time (I teach rhetoric and research) and the best thing I ever heard was the WAY slippery slope argument: “if we let men marry men and women marry women, what’s next, people marrying goats?? We can’t allow that?” If the kid in question hadn’t been dead serious, I would have laughed at the absurdity of the argument.
You’re getting some good suggestions here, though. Strategy wise, it’s probably smart for her to focus on the religious argument since that is the primary objection. However, she should be aware that arguments of faith are useless to argue against. Faith based arguments are not academic, whether we’re talking junior high or college. She’s smart to recognize the primary objection, but the better strategy in terms of actual convincing is to say “nobody can change how anyone else reads the bible, but in the real world, the objections to homosexual marriage consist of…and here are my rebuttals.” That way, the biblical argument is addressed and dismissed neatly, letting her focus on the more substantial and arguable elements.
Just my 50 cents!
You know what? That is *exactly* one of the objections she received. People marrying animals. The rebuttal she’s considering is that it should be changed to read “human marrying human” instead of “man marrying woman” to avoid the whole animal thing. I dont know. I’m not sure that I can approach the people who object like that with anything other than laughter and disdain so it’s hard for me to advise her on what to say!
“if we let men marry men and women marry women, what’s next, people marrying goats??
people overseas in different countries do it all the time. most recent was a man who married a stray his family chose because he wanted to negate bad luck. he had killed some strays and had bad luck ever since. i dont have time now to look it up but it should not be to hard to find i would think. now i do not know if it is a legal ceremony like we would have here in the US. what an interesting speech subject for one so young. was it assigned or chosen by her?
She chose it. I’m so proud of her. :-)
I’ll look up that other stuff too. Thank you!
Wow. You guys are raising some amazing points. I can’t wait to talk to her about this. Thank you so much! And any offers to email info are accepted. Please, email it when you can!
I know you said that you didn’t want her to focus completely on the religious – but this is by far the best analysis of the biblical passages related to homosexuality that I have ever seen.
http://www.truthsetsfree.net/studypaper.html
It basically discounts all but one biblical passage (Leviticus) based on translations. For example, passages from Paul’s letters list various sins including Sodomy. Except sodomy comes from the name of the town Sodom and was NEVER used in the Greek. The actual word in the Greek is better translated as “promiscuity”. SO – you could argue that Gay’s should marry because then their relationship wouldn’t be promiscuous :-)
The Passage in Leviticus clearly says that men can’t sleep with men – but this is the passage that is right next to some other ridiculous rules that nobody follows either. And anyway, Jesus’ whole point was that loving God and our neighbor as ourselves is more important that all those picky laws in the old testament. He came to ‘save us’ from the law.
As to “Other” reasons. I don’t think women of any age, and people younger than 20 understand just how ‘brainwashed’ against homosexuality young men were in the ’50′s ’60′s and even into the ’80s. In the military, boy scouts, home and ESPECIALLY in the High School locker room an atmosphere of FEAR was created around Homosexuality. “Don’t associate with Gay’s – you might catch it!” was an underlying, unsaid theme. “Gay’s are . . . Queer!”. If it was even rumored that you were Gay you were socially dead and probably beat up once or twice.
When you go thorough adolescence, the period of your life when you sexuality is being defined, having a fear of homosexuals pounded into you it becomes VERY deep seated emotionally. My wife said it sounded similar to the reaction she has to snakes – which I thought was a good analogy at an emotional level.
It takes quite a bit of time to overcome that much brainwashing – and true acceptance of homosexuality may not occur for several generations as a result.
That is one of the points that I’m encouraging her to make. The whole ‘brainwashing’ and time of change and how steps have to be taken before it’s finally considered acceptable, just as steps were taken about interracial relationships and women’s rights. Anything that consisted of changing a previous social norm. Legalizing gay marriage is just one more step in that process.
that was so nice you guys got to spend some time together-or maybe she felt it was time for you to leave the house for a bit!
Well that I wouldn’t doubt!
Re: Sodom and Sodomy
If you read the story carefully, what you will discover the big deal is all about is that “crime” of not showing hospitality; it had nothing to do with homosexuality at all (at least if you read it in the original Hebrew).
Re: St. John’s Wort
It can be very helpful. However, be careful if you are taking any other prescription meds; if you are check with the pharmacist. Also, the FDA does not test any of these products. They may or may not be the strength they say. If after two or three weeks you find that you aren’t feeling any better, check with your MD. There are a number of really good antidepressants on the market nowdays that really are helpful without a lot of side effects. Also, the days are getting shorter. If possible, try to get out in the sun at least for a while every day. It really does help some people. (Google Seasonal Affective Disorder.)
LynLass (a Real Nurse under another name)
re: St John’s and sunshine. Do not mix too much sunshine with the St John’s and if you do start taking it, discontinue in the spring when you return to outside time in the sun.
(Kinda seems silly when you read it written down but they react with each other.) Try daylight bulbs too, true ones, then you can regulate when they are on and off. Just don’t put one where you would normally settle in to get tired at night.
Thank ya! I don’t have to worry too much about the sunshine until, like you said, springtime. I’m not much for winter frolicking..lol It’s frackin’ cold outside!
Hey.. did you get my reply about the songs? I didn’t hear back from you. In short, I’ll take em! :D
Reply? What reply?? Sheesh. I’m going to mail them to you rather than type in the codes ok?
I had read that about the hospitality actually. Thanks for reminding me of that point.
I’m not depressed, at least I don’t feel depressed. I’m looking for something that will give me a little boost though. I thought the SJW might do that? I just feel kinda blah lately. In a slump I guess.
Thanks LynLass. :-)
I don’t know if I’m too late with this one, but Quakers (Religious Society of Friends) have worked long and hard to come to terms with same-sex marriages and have developed a lot of good statements on the subject for themselves — usually called “minutes.” Here’s a link to one that I found: http://www.buddybuddy.com/church04.html
Am can google gay marriage+religious society of friends and find more if it seems useful.
As for St. John’s Wort, that’s what I’ve been using for the last three weeks or so, and I was skeptical, but it really does seem to be helping, and without some of the wicked side effects that pharmaceutical stuff had. I did some research to find out what I needed in terms of dosages and purity and brands, etc., as well as what to avoid regarding combinations with other medications… I see some really good changes that I would not have believed except that I don’t have any other explanation for them…
Good luck to the kiddo.
swan
Thank you. Those side effects are exactly what I’m trying to avoid. I don’t know that I *need* anything, but maybe a little boost.
St Johns Wart….though its been said that this isnt good for you and comes with risks, i have used it and benefited from it too.
try it and see how it goes, check out the side effects and if you notice any problems stop it, i really think this stuff does work.
Thanks! I think I will try it. :-)
No, You may not quit, without your witty journal, I wouldnt know what to do.
Well, As for your daughters speech, I could help you there, I know more than 12 homophobics and more than half of my friends are bi-sexual or gay, me being one of them.
She should really write about things people do when they see something like this speech as a beginning peice, and maybe start out with:
“Many people believe gay marrige is wrong because…” and use not only the bibles reasons, but the other halfs reason, and its because of the instinct to keep our socity running, and two men/two woman cant have a baby. She should also talk about how gay marrige is good because their more prone to adopt an older child, which doesnt happen often anymore.
Also, dont feel guilty, I live with my mum and we hardly ever spend time together because shes always with my stepdad. Its hard on me to ask her for just us time because I dont want to take her away from my stepdad, who I know loves her very much. So the guilt is both ways. So it should just counter eachother out….right? :D
Right! Two guilts negate each other. ;-)
We actually talked last night about the adoption/older child angle. She’s having a fairly easy time coming up with rebuttals to the objections, but not so easy coming up with the benefits. But the adoption was one of them.
Try 5-HTP. I have that seasonal affective disorder thing, & it really helps. You have to monkey around with the timing of the dosage though because it can wreck your sleep. Also evening primrose oil is good for pms.
Thanks! I’ll check into it. I wonder, can that seasonal disorder come on suddenly? I’ve never had, or noticed, anything before, but maybe it’s a new thing, huh?
My husband actually went to a thing last night at the University about the “marriage debate”. I’ll see what I can get from the talk and pass it on to you :) It was a 3 hour talk on it, so something should have come out of it interesting :)
I would very much appreciate that! Thank you. :-)
This makes it easier :) Karl just sent this to me. Figured I’d go ahead and put it up here so anyone else who is interested can see it :)
http://caae.phil.cmu.edu/picola/imia/library.html
Trivia: It’s St John’s Wort, with the word “wort” coming from Middle English and it means “plant”.
Gah! I knew that! As soon as I read your comment I knew I’d misspelled it. Thanks. *blush*
For Am
http://www.samesexmarriage.ca/advocacy/cam100407.htm
Lots of good stuff on this site from your Friends up North
Muchas gracias. And hey.. you wanna keep that cold air up there, huh? Sheesh!
I had about an inch of partly cloudy to clear off my car this morning. Dotcha like Jack Frost nippin’ at yer nipplez?
I’m pretty sure that S can temporarily pierce them diamond hard perkies.
Might make a good movie (Hint, Hint, Hint)
I know you aren’t feeling the kink right now, but I was wondering if you had ever done this. http://www.redtube.com/7222 The girl snorts cum OUT her nose during a BJ. Personally, I think I would gag/throw up before it would come out my nose, but that seems right up your alley.
I have never done that..lol I have never tried to do that. I don’t know if I want to try to do that..lol
Hi Kaya,
I have some information on this, but it focuses on the legal issues and is specific to NY. (I wrote a few papers on this last year) if you’d like I’d be happy to send what i have….my email is –emma19783 at aol — let me know.
Emma
I’d love it. Any information is helpful. Thank you!
If your Master didn’t mind you being out then no need to fret! He probably liked having a “men folk” night with B-man as much as you and Am enjoyed your night out! I am sure B-man loved having his Dad all to himself too!
I like hanging out with my daughter too and we do chick flicks and dinner together…..i love that time with her!
I know I shouldn’t fret. I just do anyway. Actually I think he napped on the couch the whole time we were gone anyway!
Kaya,
Here are the arguments that I’ve heard put forth that are not biblical.
1) the slippery slope, though not to the level of humans and animals. Specifically, polygamy and polyandry. If gender can’t be used to define marriage, then how can meer numbers be used. Of course, one has to have a reason to oppose multiple marriage for this to make sense. The argument that gay marriage will lead to multiple marriage is valid, since polyandry/polygamy advocates openly state that they will work for gay marriage now and their marriages next.
2) Marriage between a man and a woman has been the foundational societal unit of every society, irrespective of religion, and every society that has embraced homosexualality as acceptable has fallen shortly (withing 2 centuries) of that acceptence. Thus, gay marriage will destroy our society. This argument assumes a cause and effect relationship without ptooof, and the original facts are usually “validated” by the example of the Roman Empire.
3) Once gays have the “right” to marry, churches will be forced to marry gays even if their own religious beliefs prohibit it, in the same way that churches were “forced” to may interratial couples in the past. I’m not sure that any churches were ever actually forced by the government to do that in the past, BUT, the courts have ruled that Catholic Adoption agencies must adopt to gay couples in spite of long standing church and doctrinal rules against such adoptions, so this argument can be considdered valid. Solution, make sure the law specifically prohibits forcing the churches to do so.
4) Gays, especially gay men, do not really want marriage. The evidence trotted out is that gay men are, for the most part, the single least monogamous group of people on the planet with an average number of partners in a lifetime of, and the nunbers quoted range from 10 to 50, with highs in the 1000′s. To counter this, simply ask if you really want a lack of monogamy as the defining standard of marrigability. If that is the case, then marriage should be primarily for lesbians who, as a rule, are more monogamous than heterosexuals.
5) If you can believe it, disease is trotted out. Since homosexuals have the greatest incidence of STDs (a statistical fact of little value), letting them marry will spread diseases such as AIDS and hepotitus. I’ll let this one go unremarked on. (Sheesh!)
6) Gays molest kids more than heteros (not true, but stated with jimmied statistics). If gays marry, then they can adopt and more kids will end up in the hands of abusers. Frankly, if you want to increase the chance that kids did not end up in the hands of molesters, take them away from their families, since 99% of all sexual molesters are related to their victims.
There some are. I don’t know how wide spread some of them are, but I have heard them. Frankly, some make me sick, others are laughable, and some need serious refutation or acknowledgement.
I do have a request. Could we be careful about throwing around the term “homophobic?” A phobia is an irrational fear, not a dislike or lack of approval. The fact that someone is against gay rights does not make them homophobic, it simply makes them opposed to gay rights, nothing more, nothing less. They are no more homophobic than white supremists were negrophobic. Wrong? Perhaps. Uninformed? Probably. Homophobic? No.
Oh, and for openness, I am opposed to gay marriage myself. I also recognize that my reason is nothing more than “It doesn’t feel right” to me. Not a good reason, I freely acknowledge. That’s why I don’t bring it up much and don’t push it. It may be that I just need time to get used to the idea (I don’t embrace change very fast).
Dave
t may be that I just need time to get used to the idea
I think that’s probably the base reason for most everybody. Because even when all of the objections are countered, what people do tend to fall back on is “it just doesn’t feel right”, and it doesn’t feel right because it’s change. Like any other big societal change, it takes time. But getting the laws and the government to acknowledge it as a “right” goes a long way in getting society to accept it as normal.
I agree with you about the homophobic term, as well.
Another of the more ridiculous objections is that homosexuals allowed to parent together will raise homosexual children. The presumption then is that straight parents only produce straight children. So where did all the gays come from? ;-)
A bit of trivia for you that has nothing to do with the subject really but it seemed the right time to point it out.
Until recently the state of Wisconsin defined the crime of rape as
“a man having sexual relations with a woman he knew was not his wife.”
Strangely enough rape between two members of the same sex was not recognized or defined.
Oy. That’s insane.
I know what you feel about it being wierd doing things without your Master . . . I always feel really wierd doing things without M, and have to fight the impulse to phone him every five minutes to see if it’s still okay.
“Hey, I’m just sitting here talking, is that okay?”
“Hey, I’m still just talking. Still okay?”
“Hey, still with the talking thing. Okay?”
Glad to hear you had a nice time with her! I have absolutely nothing to contribute to the gay marriage thing, though.
LOL I am so glad I’m not alone in this. :D
Just wanted to say how much I love Odd Thomas. I haven’t read the other books yet. I’m guessing they’re good?
I think they are, well, the first two that I read were pretty good. I haven’t started on the third yet. But I like Dean Koontz in general anyway.
Theres a whole series of documention they do on the history channel late at night called the History of Sex. In it they go deeply into homosexuality and its basis in the old world. It would give her some good historical stuff to base her project on. Also she can throw out that the Bible was not written by god it was written by MAN there for its one mans theory of how things should be or I should say multiple mens theorys of how things should be not what is natural or normal.
As for feeling guilty STOP it … Guilt is not needed glad you got to spend some quality time with her *hugs*
C
i have enjoyed your blog for awhile and can totally relate to what you say about the guilt. It may be a product of our extreme attachment to our Masters, but the dependency always seems to rear its ugly head.
i HATE it when He does things that are usually part of “my” responsibilities…gets his own coffee, takes off his own shoes, runs his own bath. It almost feels like a punishment to me and my reaction makes me feel very “unslave like” as i am fully aware that doing these small tasks are privileges granted to me and He may withdrawal any of my privileges at anytime.
He came home late the other night and chose to eat his dinner standing up at the counter and i think it hurt me worse than a beating!! The difficult thing for U/us being so new to 24/7 living is him understanding how important all the “little” things are how a slave needs complete consistency!! i try very hard to not let it get the chatter going in my head “i must not be a “real” slave, since i still have such strong response to my own desires” and my urge to serve is HUGE or when i am deprived of service i feel “off” , if that makes any sense.
Thank you for all the wonderful sharing!
~slave nik
Kaya,
No one said any thing about anal sex and desease/infection? A common objection often cited by those thumping the bible. My feeling is if you think it is unheathly then why didn’t you just say so instead of justifying your bias by a selective reading of the old testament.
tireup
Don’t have a lot of time right now…but there is one big argument about gay marriage that always gets brought up. The “slippery slope” argument.
i.e. – if we allow gay marriage, then people will want multiple spouses, and then people will want to have sex with animals, then to marry animals, then they will want marrying teenagers allowed again…etc.