Babbles
I haven’t babbled in ages and ages. Seems like it’s time.
I have some stuff to give away to anyone wanting to pay the shipping costs. While cleaning out the closet yesterday I came across some things we don’t need/use/like anymore.
1. The 2nd and 3rd books from the Beauty series. I bought them years ago before I realized that bdsm fiction does nothing for me. I don’t know why I never bought the 1st one, and I don’t think I made it all the way through the 3rd. But if anyone wants them, they’re yours.
2. A short book on play piercing. It’s decent enough for basic information so if you’re new to needle play it would be a good source of info for you.
3. This set of clamps for pierced nipple rings. They *can* be used as regular nipple clamps, but they don’t fit on my ginormous nipplers anyway and I don’t have pierced nipples anymore.
4. This set of nipple clamps. You can read the review I did on them here. They didn’t work for me, but they might work for you!
5. One snapping collar that says “slut” on it. Master didn’t buy it for me so I never wear it. You know how that is with stuff the dreaded ex bought. ;-)
6. One really cheap but really functional black-n-white zebra-striped blindfold. I have no idea where it came from but we have two other blindfolds and I can only wear one at a time!
7. And last, a set of leather(?) wrist restraints with a broken hook on one of them. I almost threw them away, but geesh, I hate to toss ‘em when someone could probably replace the hook. With the price of wrist cuffs, I thought maybe someone would want them, fix them, and viola! We have too many other sets to even worry about trying to fix it for ourselves.
I promise nothing has been spooged on or anything. It’s all clean stuff! If you want any of it, email me (kaya (at) underhishand dot com), first come, first serve.
I was more than willing to keep going with the toy giveaway right on into the paddles and stuff but Master cut me off there. Spoilsport. Srsly, just how many crops and paddles does one man need anyway??
~~*~~
While cleaning things out yesterday I was reminded of a chat room I used to frequent years and years ago. I was so new to bdsm and was totally and completely sucked up into all of the chat room b.s.
There was a lot of talk about toys in that room. It was something of a litmus test; your knowledge of leather care. Because clearly if you didn’t know how to properly care for your Lord’s $800.00 leather flogger, you weren’t a “true” bdsm’er.
I didn’t know jackshit about leather care and I just remember being terrified that someone would ask me a direct question and I’d be outed as a fake, a liar, a poser! Oh noes!
And the talk about prices and types and.. jebus. I cannot tell you the difference between a deer skin flogger or a moose skin flogger. Or a cow skin flogger or a freakin’ pleather flogger. For all I care you can make it out of shoestrings and duct tape. What matters, in my opinion, is if it hurts (and shoestrings hurt, btw) so who gives a rat’s ass what animal donated it’s skin to beat you with?
I’m just not a leather snob I guess. I couldn’t tell you now what the things in our closet are made from. It might be leather, or pleather, or black rubber for all I know. Nor do I care if I’m properly caring for it. Nothing is falling apart so I must be doing *something* right.
Besides, most of what resides in that hateful closet is metal or wood anyway. Master’s preferences are not in soft and supple leathery materials. He likes the cold, hard clink of chain and the flat crack of wooden paddles and the whistling smack of rattan canes. We have three or four floggers, they hurt if he whips me hard enough, but otherwise they aren’t *that* bad. I kinda like them as a break from the usual excruciating pain. I could probably make them really, really ouchy if I was dumb brave enough to tie knots in the end or add metal tips (who does that?? srsly?!). But I have been flogged with the more “high end” floggers at play parties and such and I can’t tell the difference between those and what we have! None whatsoever. It hurts the same if the swing is right and if it hits the right (or wrong) spot.
Master has a leather bullwhip that he frequently uses on me. I like it actually. A bunch. So I bought him a nylon singletail at a *fraction* of the cost of a leather one and that nylon whip is FAR more painful than the leather bullwhip.
Bah on leather snobbery.
Same thing goes for wasting money on clamps and other toys. Make one trip through your local hardware store and save yourself a couple hundred bucks. Those vise grips that Master has? Fuck me! Those things can tighten down to skin-popping strength if you want them to. Just seems silly (or unimaginative) to limit yourself to what’s sold in the sex shops. Unless of course all you are after is the look of it. Then by all means stay out of Home Depot.
Speaking of which, we have a wooden pony (12 bucks, Menards) that hasn’t been used yet. Consider this my official request, Master. *beams*
~~*~~
I’ve been thinking about fetishes and fantasies. Age play mostly, but it includes s&m, rape fantasies, kidnap fantasies, etc. It seems there’s a common misconception, especially on age play, that those who engage in it are closet pedophiles simply building up the courage to act on their desires.
I don’t even engage in age play and I can see how wrong that is. The same applies to those who act out fantasies of rape or kidnap. Here are some opinions I’ve previously expressed on age play, and on fantasies in general.
I don’t agree with the opinion that age play leads to pedophilia any more than puppy or pony play leads to bestiality. It is the only safe, moral and ethical way to express those types of fantasies. Two adults consensually engaging in an activity that harms nobody.
Most (if not all) people who engage in age play do not desire sex with a child. They desire sex with an adult in a role-playing situation. A pedophile is not going to be attracted to an adult, not even an adult dressed in Dr. Dentons. Pedophiles desire children. Period. They go to great and dangerous lengths to find and exploit children. If it could be that easily substituted by tossing the old lady into some pigtails and fluffy bunny slippers, not a one of those pedophiles would risk what they do to get an actual child. The two do not interchange.
Age play is about emotion and safety and feeling loved and safe and innocent. It’s a chance to nurture and coddle and spoil and revert to more innocent times. The reason that it will sometimes lead to sex is because it IS adults pretending, and *because* they are still adults, and still show love and affection and tenderness with their partner in an adult manner, they have sex.
No doubt there are a few who are indeed pedophiles trying to disguise it with age play. Just as there are priests and little league coaches and boy scout leaders who are predators in disguise. Are all priests? All coaches? Of course not. Neither are all “Daddies”.
I’d bet there are many MANY more abusers who jump into bdsm and use s&m or D/s as a disguise to abuse women (or men). That is much more prevalent than a pedophile, I’d lay money on it. How many crime stories start out with BDSM or bondage as the “sick and twisted” beginning of a serial killing spree? LOTS. So is anyone who is into bdsm a practicing serial killer/rapist? The evidence and history is far stronger stacked on that side than on the age play/pedophile side.
Sadly some people do think that though. Any of us who enjoy s&m are essentially enrolled in Serial Killing 101. And those of you just enjoying a little bedroom spanking and not even dabbling in the more “extreme” s&m activities? Just wait. You’re on a slippery slope, too. We’ll all probably meet up in a dark alley, prowling for victims, if you’re to believe the predictions.
I don’t even know what to say on the side of bestiality. Pony play, and puppy play, has *exploded* here lately (or at least my exposure to it has). Does that mean that animal shelters need to be on guard before adopting out pets now?
I don’t always understand a person’s fetish, but more than that, I don’t always understand a person’s frightened reaction to a fetish. It smacks of ignorance more so than intolerance. Ignorance and fear?
~~*~~
Let’s see. What else.
There’s a fascinating thread going on over at TSR on the possibilities, or lack thereof, of enslavement while also being a mother and/or an employee. Some people are of the opinion that having a child makes enslavement impossible merely because motherhood necessarily puts limits on slavery. Same thing with a job, a job outside the home limits slavery.
I think that people get offended, highly so, when they are told that they cannot be enslaved because of reason a, b, or c. So much so that they no longer hear the reasons listed.
I know that my initial reaction was to become defensive, to spout off with how deeply I can too be enslaved in spite of having children in the house. But really, if you take a step back and think about it, it’s absolutely correct, in my opinion.
The process of becoming enslaved cannot succeed when that process is limited, either by children or a job or any other outside influence. That’s not to say that one can’t succeed as much as possible within the confines of those limitations, but it’s not going to be the same as it would be without those limitations.
I think that’s a large part of why I’ve been in this funk of mine for so long. I am going back to work. Trying to make M/s work around the kids was hard enough, and limited enough, without my job’s interference. The reason that Master pulled me out of the work force in the first place was precisely because working interfered with the level of control that he desired. And he was absolutely correct. Once I’d quit work, things deepened exponentially around here, though, still frustratingly limited by HIS career and the kids.
It’s been coming to terms with the fact that we aren’t going to progress any farther in the enslavement process as long as the kids are living with us and as long as he needs to work the hours he does with the travel he does to make ends meet that has unsettled me so. We’d reached The End, or hit the top, or whatever analogy you want to use. So do we keep banging our heads into the ceiling or do we accept the facts and work with it from there?
I’m all for accepting the facts. Banging my head was giving my a killer headache, and had the added effect of undoing what success we did have out of pure frustration. What are the options here? Give the kids away? Both of us quit our jobs and live on the streets, all in the name of achieving the elusive goal of proper enslavement? Continue in this stagnating pool of *almost but not quite* enslaved?
I mourned, I think, the realization that we were going to have to take a step back in order to someday move forward. I’m accepting the loss of my fantasies for now. For a while I felt like I’d failed, that WE had failed. I wanted to reject the whole thing on the basis that if I can’t have it all I don’t want ANY of it. Very childish, no?
I don’t feel that way anymore. It’s not the end of anything and it IS doing something that will help to ensure the success of it later. Enslavement isn’t something you get just because you want it, or just because you say you can do it. The limitations are there, and they are huge, and wishing won’t make them go away. But that doesn’t equal failure, or impossible, or anything like that. It simply means you work out what needs to be worked out and you do what you can while you can… and you wait. But waiting doesn’t have to be a waste of time either. A whole lot can be accomplished and learned in the interim, IF you aren’t a stubborn, resentful cunt like I was. ;-)
So, okay then. I think I’m done babbling for now. I do have a task to do today and he will be expecting those pictures up before he comes home so I’ll be back this way soon!
~cunt
LikeTags: M/s rambles, opinions, rants
Uncategorized | kaya | 
Tuesday January 15th, 2008 10:57am
LOL I fucking love you. KEEP RAMBLING!
Just try and shut me up. ;-)
I’ll gladly take the Beauty books off your hands :D
And I’m with Theresa.. I love your rambles. I’ve missed your posting!
You got em. Want to send me an email with your address? :D
Is there a manual you get that lays out proper enslavement? i know i know, there’s expectations that come with the term, but “WE” have created those expectations. And technically a proper slave shouldn’t be allowed expectations right? Ok, i’ll shut up now…and i love your rambles, it makes my brain work!
~His bits
I know what you are saying. M/s is personally defined within each relationship. I don’t consider myself any less his slave just because certain things are changing here. I’m still doing and behaving and performing exactly as HE specifies I should, which is, by my own personal definition, what a “slave” is. I am his slave and I fit his definition and nobody else’s.
But, what I’m reading into the thread at TSR isn’t necessarily about being the slave that your own Master wants. I’m reading the limits of the internal process of “enslavement”, which is separate (I think) from being a slave. There are things that limit that process, things that cannot be denied no matter how much one may want to. Society and laws, for instance, can’t be ignored or denied. Neither can the facts that having children in the house puts limits on what you can do. What you can do defines the process of internal enslavement.
So it’s not as if someone is telling me that I can’t be His slave, because of course I can if I’m pleasing him in the manner he wants to be pleased, right? But I can’t fully dive into the enslavement waters when I *have* to stay afloat for the kids.
Or something. But that’s my opinion of course. ;-)
As you’ve seen, i totally agree about it being different for all. And having kids, i totally know the limitations they place on M/s in a household and stupid laws, land of the free right? *snicker* Thanks for the brain boost!
~His bits
I want both the pierced nipple clamps and other nipple pitchfork clamps (I have small nipples.) I’ll email you right away!
They’re yours! :-)
I’d be really interested in the collar and the cuffs. What are shipping costs to Sweden?
Ooh… could you ramble on the topics of “there’s always a choice” or “i’m all HIS, but not THIS part of me!”… I’ve so missed your rambles (and I’m such a lurker), you have the gratest ones. :)
According to the USPS website I can mail it for around 10 dollars. But I know from using the website and then going to the post office that the figures can change, though not by a lot. So I’d say anywhere from 10 to 15 bucks to Sweden. Still interested? :-)
LOL.. I like those topics. I’ll file them away for future babbles. ;)
Um… Could you hold on to them ’till tomorrow, I’ve got to ask my Husband if he can buy them. (Uh… let’s say for 24 hours, so we don’t have to deal with time differances)
He’d prolly like to see them first though. Any chance of a pic?
Yay! :-D You hold onto those topics. I remembered it while writing in the D/s-meme thred on the Submission forum on TSR. Think I mentioned my love of your rambles there too – then I come here and voila! You made me happy.
(I am not an obsessive TSR reader, I am not… *chanting to self*)
Did you have this name on TSR? I can’t remember.
I can hang on to them indefinitely. Take your time. I can easily take a pic and email it to you, too. I’ll try and do that today. The collar, though, is linked to a pic. I didn’t know if you saw that or not. The link text doesn’t show up very well sometimes.
Yeah, I caught that link afterwards. Email me a pic of the cuffs if you would, please. That’d be delightful. *puts on posh British accent*
I’m 635-997-376 on TSR and simply Dakrish on IC. And self-plugging, I also blog on http://dakrish.blogspot.se (or .com?)
Yeah, .com, not .se :)
Kaya said:
I’m just not a leather snob I guess. I couldn’t tell you now what the things in our closet are made from. It might be leather, or pleather, or black rubber for all I know.
I’ve had rubber used on me before and, trust me, you’d know. Each stroak starts out with a surface smarting and stinging, but seems to sink in deeper and more intense as it burns it’s way deep into your poor cheek.
My Dom would tell me that, if I moved, I’d get another in the same place, then he’d give me one and wait…..
…and wait….
…until the stinging/burning got so bad I couldn’t help but squirm.
Rubber is murder on your ass!
Hee… I couldn’t stop myself from replying. All our whips are rubber, but they tend to make more of a “thump” than a real “klatch”. (Bike wheel and tractor wheel rubber make great whips, just as carbelts make sturdy cuffs)
Rubber’s not that bad. Plastic flyswatters however… oh dear god.
Anyone know what instrument would provide a nice “klatch!”? We had a piece of rubber tape glued to a rod before, but it expanded when hitting so it got seriously dangerous and unpredictable. It did have a real nice effect though.
Do single tails do that? *thinking*
Oh, and Kaya: Can one peel of the layer of a riding crop to get to the rattan beneath?
I’m not sure what you mean by “klatch”…lol. It’s a language barrier! Ahhhh!! ;-)
Rubber air tubing, like what’s used on a fish tank set up? Is a B-I-T-C-H. I HATE that. Master likes to loop it and use it that way. Yowsers and ouchies.
Singletails are wonderful. I love them. I don’t even know what to compare it to. It’s definitely not a thump or thud-type feeling. It’s way stingier, like a line of fire. Yum.
I think that what’s under the layers of a riding crop is actually plastic and not wood or rattan. I’m not sure though, I’ve never peeled one! You know what you could try, is if you have any hobby or craft stores to go to, they almost always have some dowel rods that can be used for canes. They may even have bamboo or rattan, too. :-)
Huh. Maybe I should just get MSN and chat with you instead. :-P
Um. “klatch” is like the sound of a bullwhip in the air. Or a hand spank. Or petting a horse. A sharp, cracking noise.
Thump just does nothing for me. At all. Tump on my back (with the thick inner bike-wheel-rubber cat o’ nine tail) may leave some bruising, but I get no high, no kick, no nothing. Just…. thump. Over. With “klatch” it stings for a while, and I *love* the stinging.
I had the most freeing experience with that thing that we sadly had to throw away… It stung like buggery, but really set my emotions free and running. It was amazing!
Have you seen the Australian single tail? That one I want!
Hum. I’ll have to check the riding sport store thingy in town. I think good quality crops are rattan.
Isn’t bamboo dangerous ‘cuz of the huge risk of splintering?
Oh I dunno. We’ve had bamboo sticks before and they’re no more or less sturdy than rattan (well, I’d say rattan is a bit sturdier). Master’s shattered both on my butt. I mean, it breaks, he shrugs and throws it away. No big deal you know? It’s not like it cracks and takes a hunk of skin from you, though as soon as I say that someone will tell me that yes! it does too! *sigh*
I can’t msn. Isn’t he mean? :P
Now I’m going to have to ask him if I can peel a crop so I can see what’s under it! ;-)
Most crops are plastic underneath. (i used to have horses and have been through lots of crops for that reason lol If i peeled the one Master has i think i’d been in BIG BIG trouble!)
~His bits
Rubber is what the hated blue “stick” is made out of. That’s the one and only tool we have that is strictly set aside for punishment only. Because it fucking HURTS and I HATE it.
Rubber air hosing = hate, too. ;)
I’m totally in agreement on the age play thing. I’ve basically had to stay away from a lot of forums recently because I’m highly offended by the idea that it is acceptable for kinky people to judge other kinky people. There is one forum specifically that has so many restrictions in this area that I can’t even participate anymore. It’s really sad to me that people are filled with such fear.
I’ve found that the kink “community” is more judgemental amongs themselves than vanilla people are toward us. Seems like vanilla folk, if they’re judging at all, will just kind of lump us together as “weird”, whereas people within kink get downright nasty about it. Sad.
Master and I have long considered the D/s side of our relationships “bedroom only” due to having to live in the real world (well, bedroom plus… as much time as we can manage). Still, it would be nice to jump into things full-time… I suppose when we win the lottery.
The think about rataan canes is that Master can *really* control where he hits me… with leather floggers, it can be all over the place. Still, the times he’s used other people’s high-end, pricey leather floggers on me, he seems to have better control.
Different types of leather have different types of sensations. Believe me, they can *really* vary, from nice, thuddy pain to oh-my-god-get-that-fucking-thing-away-from-me!
I dunno. I just didn’t notice a difference. At least not enough that I’d be willing to pay 300 bucks to have a high end flogger when I can make one out of something cheap and get almost the same effect.
or maybe it’s just that I myself prefer wood and chain and therefore reject leather as something I even care about..lol *shrug*
It seemed to me that the difference in sensation had more to do with how hard, and where, the swing was as opposed to what it was made out of.
[...] post by nipples – Google News and software by Elliott [...]
i am at work so i had to stop reading this post halfway through but i did want to comment on the age play. Master, or should i say Daddy, and i do it. And it is wonderful.
i love it when He takes me to that place where i feel innocent, loved and SAFE. There is nothing creepy about it. He is taping into a vulnerable part of “me” and claiming it as His own. Because of the distance between us, for the time being, there is no physical contact but it is sensual all the same.
In some ways it is increasing my trust of Him. Not sure how that is happening but it is.
Also, i don’t feel like He would also want to have sex with my daughters or His own because W/we go there.
Anyway, just wanted to say “thanks” for “getting it” from one very happy Daddy’s girl.
hugs, girl
I think we do it too, we just don’t use the terms as freely as some, you know what I mean? I don’t call him Daddy, but that doesn’t mean we don’t get in that place where it is.. safe and comfy and, well you know. He does call me his ‘little girl’ a lot. It’s not creepy by a long shot. It makes me grin and have warm fuzzies. :D
So, what if part of your enslavement *is* to work? Mine is. M doesn’t want me staying home. He says I get too depressed. He’s mostly right, I guess. So anyway, having to work is part of my enslavement. There was a time when I worked many more hours, & I was *MUCH* more enslaved than I am now with afternoons & summers off.
I can’t go with you on this one. Having kids or having a job doesn’t negate enslavement any more than having to deal with a roof that needs repair or a hot water heater that needs replacing. I mean, “real” enslavement doesn’t exist in a vacuum. The other daily necessities of life still exist. I think the key is to incorporate them into the enslavement.
Define yourself as slave first, & then think of everything you do as some kind of service for him. “I’m at work. The best way I can serve him right now is to keep my mind on my job & do it the best way possible so I can continue to keep this job & fulfill this role that he wants of me.” Sounds kind of pollyanna, I know, but I really did used to function like that.
I’m really not explaining it well at all. I don’t think we disagree here. I’m not saying that I’m not a slave or not still enslaved or anything like that just because I’ll be working or because of the kids.
I need to think on it more I guess. I am already telling myself that same Pollyanna mantra about having to go back to work. “It’s for Him. It’s what He wants right now. It’s just another service that He’s demanded from me.” And on and on.
Hmm.
Yeah, I’m gonna think about it more. It’s not as clear as it was this morning..lol.
I guess if you’re talking about circumstances limiting what/when/how often you can *do* things, then, yeah, all that stuff like jobs, kids, dogs, roofs (rooves?), & hot water heaters all limit that.
Of course, at some point you go off into lala land. To “truly” be free to practice your thing you’d have to live in the law-free country of BDSMopia & be independently wealthy with servants that take care of all the mundanities of life. (This is why I’ve always said I wanted to be a slave in a dirty story.)
Enslavement happens in the mind. I can theoretically see a life where I could live in complete mental enslavement that involved other obligations. Of course, the more contact with those obligations, the more difficult to achieve that mental enslavement… Driving off in a swamp here.
I think the difference here is (as always) one of semantics. I don’t see enslavement as defined by what a couple is able to do physically. That’s something else. That’s practicing the activities associated with D/s. So say that outside obligations limit activities — sure. Limiting activities can make mental enslavement more difficult to impossible depending on the number & involvement of these obligations — practically speaking, sure. Can a truly committed & diligent master & slave stay focused enought to maintain enslavement despite outside obligations? Yeah, I think they could.
See, how I just used your comments section like an on-line forum? Sheez. I would participate in on-line forums if everyone could be smart like us. Ha! :)
I’d Love the mask if there are no other takers.. im a sucker for animal prints.. i know tacky.. but i love em!
email me @ ladyabasyyx@aol.com
love
jen
Sold! To the woman in front. :-) Email me your address, k?
[...] = “34d024″; var mooter_wrapper_url=”"; var run_method = “onload”; var mooter_target = “0″; Babbles saved by 1 others MuseL666 bookmarked on 01/15/08 | [...]
I have to agree on your take of the total enslavement versus working fulltime and/or with kids at home.
Hubby and I have a D/s side of our relationship, but it is too only limited to the bedroom or to weekends that by some miracle neither child is home. That happens once in a blue moon, really.
So having to live in my real world of work, kids, you drive so and so here, I’ll pick up the other one, bills, aging parents … and the list goes on limits are D/s to few and far between.
Someday, I’m hoping there will be more him and me time, then Mom and Dad time, and we will be able to investigate more total lifestyle.
I’m hoping that’s sometime before I’m 80, but I’m not countin’ on it :-)
Heh–i may be late to the auction, but it looks like the play piercing book is still available?
Yep. It’s yours if you want it. :-)
wooden pony?
is there any way you could post a picture of it? You can email it to me if you want.
thanks, girl
On Abuse in BDSM –
I don’t think there’s more psychopathic predators and potential serial killers in the BDSM community, however I do think the stakes are higher and the temptation is greater for these people in the community rather than say in a group of mystery novel afficiandos or whatever.
Fleshlight…
intersting and nice…
[...] Babbles part 2. [...]