Q&A

Was your M always a Dom? I know from reading you that he was when you met, but when did he know? What about the other Masters in your circle of friends? Did they all know from an early age or were any of them vanilla guys that grew into it after meeting a not so vanilla partner? Can it be learned, or is it intrinsic?

I think it’s intrinsic. I think anyone can learn the motions, the right words, how to swing a cane. Same with the small-s types. Anyone can learn the basics.

But having the ability to inspire submission or the need to give away power- that’s not something you learn. It’s something you have, something you are.

He has always been a dom. But it often takes a failed vanilla relationship (or two, three, a dozen) to realize why those other relationships weren’t working. He’d carried other labels around; control-freak, temperamental, abusive, micro-manager — just to name a few. It’s not until you meet the right person who can turn what is a negative trait to some into a postive trait for that person.

Of the people we know, it’s interesting. The older folks (and by older I mean my age so, you know, we’re not collecting dust or anything) have at least a couple of vanilla relationships in their past and can speak of what it was like when they found the vast world of bdsm. But some of the younger ones not only don’t have any past vanilla relationships (beyond junior high perhaps) but they’ve always known what bdsm is.

I attribute that to the internet mostly. I’d never even heard of bdsm, had no clue what s&m was, and thought I was a sick, sick woman prior to getting connected to the net in my late 20’s. That’s a fairly common story amongst the older bdsm crowd. Not so much with those who grew up with the internet.

Ok, I bet you’ve gotten this one before, but are you afraid that your kids will find this blog? Or some friend of them?

I really don’t worry about it. I just don’t. Call it sticking my head in the sand, knock me out of line up for Mom Of The Year, whatever. That’s one of those “cross that bridge when I get to it” kind of scenarios.

Though, if it is found and if it’s something that bothers them to a large degree, I’m either going to lock it down or delete it completely. I don’t anticipate that happening but if it does, I think I’m mostly past the blogging fervor I had once upon a time and I wouldn’t be terribly upset about it. *shrug*

When did you decide to put your face on your blog? I have pics on mine but haven’t shown my face as yet, so was wondering what made you decide to take that step

Master was putting pictures up it seems since the very very beginning so I’ve had a long time to come to grips with it. I really don’t even think about it anymore. Plus, I think the internet is a huge HUGE place and the likelihood of being recognized by bumping into someone who reads here is slim to none. It’s never happened after almost 6 years of blogging. And I don’t think I’m all that recognizable anyway. The way I look while grocery shopping with the kids is not even close to how I look with a ball gag (or a dick) in my mouth..lol. I’d be surprised if anyone could pick me out and know who I was. (Not to mention the fact that I don’t think all that many people read me anyway. Yanno what I mean, jelly bean?)

I was wondering if Jess has healed or is still experiencing problems since the Dr. made such a mess of things? Is she in school or working that you are babysitting so much?

She has healed-finally. There was a specialist and some physical therapy involved, and the conclusion that it wasn’t “enough” of the fault of the doctor to pursue malpractice (though I sure wanted to, on principal if nothing else!). I’m just glad she’s okay now.

Otherwise, things are pretty rocky for her right now. She’s having some difficulties getting herself straightened around and we’re working with her to accomplish that. It’s causing some major stress for us as a family.

We’ll work it out though. We always do.

So, did cutting your hair help with the headaches? I think it looks great!

Not one single hair-related headache since getting it cut. But I’m already ready for another trim and I’m itching to go shorter yet. He’s squashed the entire notion though, big meanie that he is.

He keeps saying he’s going to auction off** letting someone shave my head completely at Spankfest this summer. I know he’s trying to scare me but I’m all “Bring it ON, Motherfucker! Shave it!” (and I can say that because I know he won’t do it)

(I think he wont)

(you think he would??)

(it never bodes well to be too cocky but I don’t think he will)

(maybe)

Just a reminder, March is Question and Answer month. Comments are moderated so don’t be shy! Ask away. Also, Master is open to questions too. (Grill him. I double-dawg dare you!)

**The auction is a fun event at Spankfest where play money that you can earn in a variety of ways throughout the weekend is used to “buy” a slave or whatever. All in good fun.

Theme Song

So I was thinking…

Should it ever be that us doormat-ish type slaves want to stage a coup, I have the perfect theme song.

Not that we would ever WANT to rise up and take control, of course. I’m just saying, IF… you know. If it ever happens, I’m singing this:

They will not force us
They will stop degrading us
They will not control us
We will be victorious

They will not force us
They will stop degrading us
They will not control us
We will be victorious

Yeah. So. Keep it in mind.

I was trying to think of what the theme song should be for us right now though. There are too many to choose from. Apparently, sex and bondage and service makes for awesome lyrics.

There’s this whole page to choose from!

I want to fuck to this song. Like… bad. I want it blasting so loud that you can’t hear your own grunts. I want it beating through my chest. That song makes me HOT.

Well poo. I was supposed to be looking up songs to exercise to and all I’ve found are songs to masturbate to.

Brb! And don’t worry, I always wash my hands when I’m done.

Q&A

What are your fantisies of at this time?

Other than the ones I mentioned in the last post under “things you haven’t done yet”, my current fantasy is that Master wins the lottery and gets to quit this job that has, thus far, ruined TWO very recent attempts to get together with friends and have some play time.

And countless other not-so-recent attempts.

(Though, I’m grateful that he has a job in this economy. A good job. And I’m grateful that him being called in means that he’s obviously needed at his job. But damn it all. A slut has needs, yanno?)

So, blah blah blah, I’m irritated. I’m ready to just shelve it all and pull it out when it isn’t so frustrating. Repeatedly getting my hopes up only to have them dashed is starting to get to me.

And I’m seriously not saying that in a whiney-princess sort of way. I’m thinking very practical about it. We function perfectly well with M/s on a more service-based level. The play time just isn’t happening and I’m pretty sick of thinking about it.

Bah humbug!

1. i know you have had other men “play” with you i.e. at spankfest with your Master present…but has it ever gone beyond play? i.e. ever had full fledge sex with another while Master is present?

No. It’s never gone beyond play.

Yet.

As I said in another post, the right person(s), the right time, the right frame of mind and it’ll happen.

Conversely, i remember reading a few post when you thought He could use a temporary slut, i.e when he is traveling, has He ever had full sex with another with or without you being there since you have been married?

Also, a “not yet” and a “the right person(s), the right time, the right frame of mind and it’ll happen” answer. He’s certainly not opposed to sleeping with other women, but he’s never been one for just picking up any ol’ girl in a bar or whatever. So when he’s traveling, unless he knows someone, it’s unlikely that he’ll sleep with a stranger.

Unlikely, but not impossible. After all, I was practically a stranger the first time we met and fucked and played.

I’ve put the occasional tentative feeler out when I know where he’s traveling to, kind of hinted around for available sluts, but just as he’s reluctant to sleep with someone he’s just met, so are the women I’ve talked to.

Sheesh. All of these ethical sluts! Raining on my cuckqueaning fantasies!

If yes, how do you deal with that, while i know we are all supposed to be “mature” i think if i were in that position mature would not be the first thought that came to my mind, I would be more on the jealous, crazy bitch level.

Though it hasn’t happened yet, I have an answer anyway.

Probably because of many things in my past, I have a disconnect between sex and emotion. I can have sex with someone and feel nothing for them, and it doesn’t affect or change how I feel for the person that I love, so it’s not hard for me to understand other people doing it.

I’m not a jealous person anyway, plus he’s drilled the concept of ownership into me so effectively that I don’t see him as “mine”, you know? He owns me, I don’t own him. That possessiveness isn’t a two way street.

I don’t view you guys as a poly type of couple, some how in my mind I have already created boundaries for you two – yes you can thank me later, and yes i am stepping way over any polite borders, but hey if i can’t ask you who can i ask?

If it weren’t for time constraints and the kids in the house, we’d probably already be poly. For a future concept, it’s not off the table at all. Honestly, I wouldn’t mind having another here to share the workload (both sexual AND chores!). Though he’s repeatedly said that another slave would have to contribute financially so probably she’d get a pass on the chores around the house. Boo.

2. Is there something that He has wanted you to do, but you just can’t for what ever reason…?

I’m guessing you’re asking about things more in the bdsm-sense?

There are bunches actually.

I’m probably never going to be an anal-loving whore. Like.. never. He’s too big and it always hurts and I hate, hate, hate it. He jokes (and by ‘jokes’ I mean he’s completely serious) and says that his next slave will have to be an anal whore. That is fine by me. If I never had to have anal sex again, I’d die a happy girl.

Likewise (or should I say Sizewise? Hee.) unless he really does find that kink-aware dentist, I’ll never be able to give him a deep-throated, pain-free (for him) blow job. He can have deep-throat with painful teeth scraping or he can have no-pain and shallow. Not both.

Or he could have penis-reduction surgery. Is there such a thing? I bet there is. I wonder if he’s game…

I will never be an exhibitionist. He’s the exhibitionist; I’m just his exhibit. I think he would like it better if I was more…oh I dunno… excited about it?

I’m sure I’m not answering this correctly but it’s early. Sue me. Feel free to re-ask if I’m way off base (that goes for any question from anyone, btw.)

3. this one will surprise you..but there is a method to my madness to be revealed at a later date…are either one of you politically active? do you vote? are you registered as republicans or democrats?

He is not politically active, therefore neither am I allowed to be. He can’t control my thoughts on politics but he can certainly control my actions. So far, he says there hasn’t been anyone worth voting for so he’s not let me vote.

Though I’d have totally voted for Obama, and he is so not an Obama fan. Had he let me vote, he’d not have let me vote for him. I’d be Master’s second-vote, not my own voice.

He says we’re independents.

Obligatory update on the status of Sascrotch please.

Sascrotch is alive and well! Growing, thriving. And beginning to outgrow the boundaries that I had in mind, namely stopping at the edges of my underwear and NOT sprouting out the sides of the leg holes, looking like I shoved a damn Bloomin’ Onion down my pants.

Not too long ago, he made a spur of the moment offer, telling me I could shave it. “Once, cunt. Just once.”

I declined the offer.

Because shaving it once would be a disaster. My skin isn’t used to it anymore, I’d be razor burn from top o’ da crack to bottom o’ da crack, and the regrowing process itches like a heroin addict. No thanks, Spanky!

Oh hey… did you mean pictoral update??

~~*~~

In other news in my life– there isn’t much.

The Stanley Steamer guy is coming today. I’m uber-exicted about that.

And, um, yeah. That about covers the current excitement that is the life of kaya.

I plan on getting laid tonight. *nods* I don’t know, nor do I particularly care, what HIS plans are. I just know I’m getting some, even if I have to take it by force.

I know, right? I talk big. It amuses him.

(but I’m totally getting laid. You watch.)

~cunt

Q&A

Is there anything, kinky and sexual, or in vanilla life, that you have always wanted to try out or do and haven’t yet? And do you think you will ever actually get around to doing them?

I’ve never done a gangbang type thing. Like if he were to give me to a couple guys, him included or watching or not, and tell me I’m to just be used and do what I’m told.

Cuz that’s a hot fantasy right there.

I would do it if he told me to. I’m not sure that he’d ever tell me to, though. Though he finds the idea of it just as hot as I do, he gets hung up on the realities of it. And his reality is that he’s not sure how he’d feel after. Since he’s not sure, he’s not willing to risk it.

Yet anyway.

I think if the right circumstances presented themselves, the right men that he knew were disease/drama free- yeah. It’d happen.

I’d also be very interested in watching him with other women in a manner that would humiliate me. This is something I’ve talked about before. I know cuckholding is what they call it when it’s a man being humiliated and watching his woman fuck other men, but I can’t recall if it’s called the same thing when it’s the girl being degraded.

I’m pretty sure that will happen someday.

I think it would be hot to be used as payment of some sort. Not me, but my “services”, if’n you know what I mean. *waggles eyebrows*

I can’t really think of any playing or scenes or toys that I either haven’t done or am all that interested in doing. I mean, I’m always seeing toys that I’ve never tried that I would like to try, but, meh, impact is impact and clamps are clamps, yanno? While the sensation varies by toy, it doesn’t vary enough that I’m hot to try the 1,ooo different types of canes that are on the market.

We definitely want to experiment more with long term caging/confinement, stricter isolation, sensory deprivation, etc. and we will do that. Someday, when we’re empty-nesters.

What was your marriage ceremony like?

Here’s a link to the post I made about it then.

We weren’t incredibly interested in the ceremony part so much as just wanting to make it all legal. That whole tack bra through the metal detector is funny NOW though.

Reflection

What are all y’alls thoughts on the notion of a slaves/property/whatevers actions being a reflection on the Master/Owner/whatever?

I haven’t had enough coffee to really articulate why I think what I think, all I can say is that I think the notion is bunk.

That could just be because I’m naturally sort of a bitch, and I’m really good at it, and I don’t want to have to give that up if I truly am “making him look bad”.

Also, he just doesn’t care. So, you know, that helps.

He and I both think we stand alone in our actions. My actions reflect on me, his actions reflect on him. He has no interest (at this moment. It’s always subject to change on a whim of his) in controlling that side of me. In fact, he likes it. He likes my spirit, my wit (or lack thereof), my sarcasm and my mouthiness. That other people are sometimes on the receiving end of said wit (and by wit I mean snark, tyvm) is, for him, a bonus. It means I’m leaving him alone for a bit.

Although I have to admit that there have been times when I’ve witnessed some unruly slave’s behavior and have thought to myself “Jesus. I can’t believe he lets her act like that!” which completely does not align with my previous statements.

So what do you all think? “Stand alone” or “mirror mirror, on the wall”?

Q&A

What would it take to get you to post more often?

A maid to do all of those chores that Master keeps trying to tell me is the reason I’m here. Every time I ask for one, he beams and tells me he already has one and her name is the same as mine! What a cowinky-dink, eh, cunt?

Oh he’s a card all right. I’m owned by a freakin’ comedian.

Or, you could donate all of your monies to us so he could retire and then we’d have lots of time to do things that actually give me blogging material.

Barring those two things happening, it’s enough to know that someone wants me to post more often and therefore, I’ll try. For you.

Did you expect to like your grandchild as much as you? I’m not trying to be a smart ass (for a change), I am asking if realized before hand how much she would steal your heart?

Yes and no. Looking back, I think I fell the very second Jes walked out of the doc’s office with her positive test result.

But I didn’t know how hard I’d fall when I saw her for the first time. I didn’t know how much harder I’d fall, and continue to fall, when I give her a bottle and she stares up at me with those magnificent blue eyes. Or when she breaks out into a huge, slobbery, toothless grin when I walk into the room. Or when she reaches for me when she’s crying. Or her baby smell, her wispy hair that is identical to her mother’s, her squeals and giggles. God. She so has me wrapped, tight as burrito.

When she goes, as I know she will someday, it’s going to shatter my heart. I know it will. In the meantime, I’m simply treasuring every moment I have with her.

Which would be most effective in convincing your Master to loan you to me for about 12 hours (under his supervision of course)? Money? A really cool hunting and/or fishing trip? A firearm as a gift? Plane tickets? Creating a scenario of maximum mind fuck for you? Something I’ve not mentioned? A promise to make you dress like a Mormon missionary and go door to door asking if they believe the Bible allows a husband to spank his wife?

I would say all or any of the above would do the trick but the fact is, he’d probably do it for nothing. He’d sit in the corner and point and laugh and say things like “My cunt is going to get beat. Neener-neener-neener!”

I assume you mean to beat me, yes? It seems most people want to. Though I’ve NO idea why that is, seeings as I’m so sweet and all.

Q&A

Can I borrow your shoes?

This one would be honored to have her slave-sister’s sweaty feet stinking up my shoes.

Or..

Hell NO. Buy yer own, ya shoeless wench.

Pick your own answer.

Now, I have a question for you guys.

I was out having coffee with BFF-Jill today and she was wondering, since we’re both kinda new to this friendship thing, if we were “doing it right”.

So that’s my question.

Exactly what it is that you do with your friends?

(stop sniggering at me. I can hear you, you know. I’m completely serious! We don’t know what we’re doing here!)

March Question and Answer

March is question and answer month round the blogosphere. You ask, I answer.

Comments are screened, you don’t have to use your name. I don’t promise to answer everything, nor do I promise to answer anything in a timely manner. I only promise to do my best.

Don’t worry about repeating a question from the last couple of March Q&A posts because I won’t remember having answered it before anyway.

The Best Laid Plans

So much for that one whole kid-free day.

We went away for the weekend, which was a lot of fun. It was busy as we’d gone there specifically so he (we) could visit with his family (and I got to hear about my MIL’s polyp surgery over dinner! Joy!) so we didn’t have a lot of time to ourselves.

Though we did take some time on Sunday morning to boil ourselves alive lounge in the whirlpool in our hotel room.

Oh! Saturday morning, before we headed out of town, we had some pre-dawn, pre-coffee, pre-shower sweaty animal sex, which I’m going to go on record and declare as a terrific way to end a dry spell. It made me all sorts of excited for Monday. You know, that kid-free day we were supposed to have.

We’re driving home Sunday night, kinda whispering to each other about what we’re going to get up to the next day (You know. That KID-FREE day we were supposed to have!).

There was talk of bondage sex.

Bondage sex happens to be my most very favorite thing EVAR.

There was mention of being put in my place because HE claims I’m getting “uppity”.

Bitch, please. As if. ~hair flip~

Then I remember I had a dentist appt. on Monday afternoon. We talked about whether or not I should cancel it, but because I couldn’t give 24 hours notice (though, fer realz, how are you supposed to give 24 hour notice for a Monday appt. to a place that’s closed Fri., Sat. and Sun.??) then they get all kinds of pissy. So he said to keep the appt., that it was close to when the kids would be getting out of school anyway so we’d probably be done by then.

Then I remembered an errand I had to run for a bill that had to be paid on the first so I remind him of that. He tells me I can combine it with the trip to the dentist.

Then I made the mistake of mentioning that I hated to miss another day at the gym since I wasn’t able to go all weekend and he told me in no uncertain terms that I’d NOT be missing the gym on Monday.

It starts niggling at me, these interruptions into our day, but okay fine, whatever. He’s the boss, yada yada yada. The class I usually go to is early. Like, I leave the house at 6:30am early. So our scheduled day o’ kink is getting a late start and an early finish, but no worries. We can still cram bondage sex in the middle, right?

Au Contraire, Mon Frère!

We’re driving along and I keep getting that feeling like I’m forgetting something. So I’m like, Dude. There’s something I have to do on Monday. He’s says, Oh I’m sure there is. I’m not even getting my hopes up cuz one of the kids will get sick or-

And then I remembered. Am had a appt. at the lab for a fasting blood test followed up by an appt. at the dermatologist for her accutane. Can’t reschedule because doc is going on vacation and she can’t refill her prescription without the lab tests. And you can’t really just skip a month of accutane.

Can’t go to the lab until 8am, her doc appt. is at 9am, then she’d need to eat, an hour minimum at the gym, there’s an hour to an hour and a half just in driving time (told you we live out in Buttfucking Nowhere, Mi.) so we’d not get home until noon-ish or later and she’d not even get back to school until afternoon and she’s whining about how stupid it is to go back to school at all when she’d only have 2-3 hours left and one of the classes is a study hall.

I can see Master calculating the possible time left for doing ANYTHING, if I don’t even get home until afternoon and I’d have to shower to wash the st(k)ink off and be at the dentist by 2:30.

He’s just shaking his head and laughing. One of those rueful, I-knew-it sort of laughs. “I’m taking a vacation day from all y’all.” he said. “You do your thing, I’m watching movies. And masturbating. Yeah. THAT’S what I’m doing!”

Well. Sum’bitch.

So. My day o’ kink turned into a day o’ kid. Oh well. After all the running, Am and I did some shopping at the thrift stores and we went out for a girls-only lunch where I ran into my favorite kinky-slut waitress. We had fun anyway. I enjoy Am’s company.

Master enjoyed his day, too. Escaping the world is needed sometimes.

And my cleaning and check up at the dentist was awesome. Though I got lectured on my flossing technique. Bah. Between Master, the dental hygienists and the sadist body pump instructor at the gym, I’m just about tired of being told what to do. Srsly.

Uppity, my ass.

(can’t you all just hear Master’s voice going “Thats right, cunt. I’m going to go ‘uppity’ your ass. Giggity-giggity.”)

Treading Water

I really want to have something bdsm-y and perverted to talk about- but I don’t.

Sometimes it just seems like we’re both just treading water and we’re not even in the same pool. He’s got some high-pressure stuff going on at work so he’s preoccupied, cranky and wants nothing more than a cold beer, a movie and a recliner when he gets home.

I’m.. I dunno what I’m doing. I’m doing my thing, I guess. The kids, the baby, the gym, the house- and giving him what he wants. Space and beer.

Other than the groping, of course. That never stops.

None of that really offers much in the way of blogging material though. How many times can I come here and say “well, today I went to the gym, cleaned the house, cooked dinner and watched the baby”? Boring.

We’re going out of town this weekend though, and then, should everything work out as we’re hoping it does, we might have most of Monday to ourselves with no kids. I don’t even care if we get up to any hinky stuff, I’m just looking forward to having some time with him alone.

We made the very mature decison to not turn the other’s preoccupation into a personal issue. I’m not feeling neglected or forgotten, I’m not positive that the sky is falling and we’re turning into vanilla beans. I’m giving him whatever support I can and not laying my shit at his feet. Likewise, he knows the baby wears me out, along with other things going on here, and he doesn’t harp on me about having to stay up late or not being able to keep the house as clean as I usually do or being too tired to fuck. (srsly. this child exhausts me. I’m starting to think that either Jes needs to find another sitter (which would just break my heart, really) or I need to go have a physical because I shouldn’t be this worn out.)

Anyway, everytime that one of us is “in the mood” and the other cannot, we just give each other a hug and remind each other that this is temporary and that we’re both still full of the desire, even if the opportunities seem few and far between right now.

Unfortunately, as I said earlier, blogging material is pretty lame these days.

But! This is a No Whining Zone. So. Eyes ahead. One of these days, we’ll get up to something juicy.