Atomic Wedgie
The other day Master gave me a wedgie. Not one of those playful tugs that makes you walk sideways until the material works it’s way out of your crack, but one of those lifts-you-off-your-feet kind, the kind where underwear seams rip and you’re left with a raw scrape in your butt crack and it hurts to wipe your ass for a few days. One of *them* kind.
Master’s rules regarding underwear are not so simple. I wished, once upon a time, that He’d just say either yes or no, but, as I’ve come to realize, Master’s wishes are not simple, nor does He ever think me learning it should be simple. Nothing is ever easy with this man.
But here are the rules, as I’ve (tried to) come to learn them over time.
He likes underwear that is cute and sexy. Thongs are nice. Boy shorts can be okay if they’re cute enough.
He tolerates granny panties when it’s that time of the month. (because, srsly, a thong with wings is so not sexy and neither does He find a nude twat with a dangling tampon string attractive. Cover that shit up with granny panties and He’s a happy camper.)
I cannot (am not supposed to) wear underwear in His bed, no matter how sexy they are. In fact, I’m not to wear clothing of any sort to bed.
I can wear underwear with jeans. I guess He figures if I have jeans on and He can’t molest my privates anyway, what difference does it make what else is covering it. (And I do get to wear pants sometimes, but that’s a whole ‘nother set of rules I’m still trying to learn.)
I can wear underwear with a skirt if the skirt is short and I’m going about my daily business with the kids around. Though I make it a point not to flash the kids no matter what, should I trip and fall on my ass, a peek of mommy’s naked pussy is more trauma than I care to inflict. Master concurs.
I cannot wear underwear under a short skirt if the kids are away, or if He and I are alone.
I cannot wear underwear with a longer skirt, not even the sexy kind. Unless I ask first and my reasoning is that the underwear and bra are a matched set and He’s in the mood to see me in a matched set.
See? Clear as mud, right? Right.
On this day though, I had not asked, the skirt was long enough, and it’s not that time of the month.
He came home from work and grabbed me up in a bear hug, as He does every single day. We chatted quietly to each other that way for a little bit.
“How was your day?”
“It was good. I missed You though.”
“I missed you, too. Did you get all your chores done?”
“Yes, Sir.”
“Good girl.”
*beams*
He slid His arms surreptitiously down my back and cupped my ass cheeks. “Mmm.” And then His fingers found, and traced, the leg seams of my granny panties. “What’s this?” He asked, keeping His expression neutral and His voice low.
“Underwear?” I said, trying to sound mega-innocent and cute.
“Why?” He replied, still remaining deceptively unperturbed.
“I don’t know.” I answered, honestly. And I don’t know. Call it a brain fart, or maybe my ass was cold when I dressed that morning. I still don’t know why. I don’t recall putting them on, let alone why I put them on.
“Hmm.” He said. I felt His fingers curl under the leg seams and He wiggled the bunched material gently into the crack of my ass. I pulled in a deep breath and tightened my hold on His arms. Without another word, He lifted, high and hard, even grunting a tad with the effort. I closed my eyes and gritted my teeth, raising up on tiptoe and actually stumbling into Him as He pulled hard enough to knock me off my feet. There was a sharp pain that was delicate skin being rubbed away, He held it for a second, gave it -and me- a shake and then He let go.
When I’d regained my balance, I looked up at Him and He smiled – No. He BEAMED down at me.
I waddled to the bedroom and took the underwear off.
I’m only just now able to wipe without cringing. I don’t think I will soon forget the underwear rules.
~cunt
ps. Task pictures coming soon. Master is having entirely too much fun with my pubic hair.
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Uncategorized | kaya | 
Wednesday October 1st, 2008 10:32am
Well, even as your ass crack and “taint” ache, still consider yourself lucky — my Master prefers to see me in British school-girl nylon knickers! They are hot, scratchy, and they look like this…
http://www.boutique.co.uk/acatalog/0531_School_Knix.gif
http://www.petticoated.com/knickerbottomPDM.jpg
There is nothing, nothing sexy about those!!! (At least for me — he gets all excited seeing me in them.)
So forget cute thongs and flattering boy shorts! I’m truly humiliated and uncomfortable as the nylon scratches and the tight leg bands dig into my thighs and my crotch gets all sweaty because they fabric doesn’t “breathe” and also, my ass and legs look as bad as possible in underpants that make granny panties look downright sexy!!!
Oh contraire! Those ARE sexy. It’s even hotter that they’re uncomfortable for you. That’s my ‘uncomfortable fetish’ talking. ;-)
So … we find your sadistic side, after all! :P
i liked reading your panty rules as i too have kids so my rules have to work around my parenting as well. i must say i am real curious what a wedgie of that magnitude feels like… i think I’d like one teehee!
Viemoira~
lol.. masochist!
Uh… ouch? Damn! heh
No underwear rules here except that I’m not allowed to wear them with my “fake clothes”.
“fake clothes”? S’plain Lucy. ;-)
I can wear underwear, but that’s probably because my Master is a lingerie fan. He loves to see me in sexy bras and panties and such. I love wearing them (except thongs to work, ugh). *does the sexy panty dance*
I don’t wear underwear by choice, but I used to, and I’d imagine that’s a terribly painful thing.
Hope your ass feels better soon!
SNORT
OMFG, this is so familiar. I also have the “no underwear except when you should wear underwear rule”. We spent the first year with me trying to get him to clarify and him getting Mega Pissed and telling me to go rot in fuckslut hell (er, he wasn’t that mean) for asking so many damn questions. Now I just guess and hope I guessed right. Your rules sound about like what’s right, to him.
*snort*
best blog title EVER.