Under His Hand

The journal of a slave

April A to Z — Q is for…

Q is for Quality and Quantity.

Many, many eons ago, Master declared it to be a Law of the Land that our play would henceforth be governed by the Quality over Quantity clause.

We had, at that point in our play, fallen into a trap of thinking we HAD to do *something* all the time, every day, or whenever we could. We’d be cramming these mini play sessions in, sessions that often left one or both of us hanging because there wasn’t time to finish it.

“Finish” can mean a multitude of things. It might mean one or both of us didn’t orgasm because often our play is very sexual. It might mean one or both of us didn’t have time to reach a high or, worse, that one of us reached a high and it was cut off at the knees.

Masochism, at least my particular version of masochism, isn’t about finding pleasure in pain. It’s more the exchange of power and energy, coupled with the endorphin rush that physical pain provides. So, it seemed like all too often, in these rushed mini sessions there would be just all pain and no energy, which fell very flat for both of us.

He likened it to taking 12 mini weekend vacations a year to a local attraction versus saving up all year and taking a 2-week vacation in Paris. Or the Bahamas. (Or Germany)

So the law was declared. If it was determined that we didn’t have the time for a proper scene, or if we both weren’t equally into it, he would say “Quality over quantity!” and instead we’d go watch a movie or just fuck or, you know, whatever.

All’s well that end’s well.

Except.

Sometimes I feel like we’ve gone too far the other way.

Like maybe we’re putting too much emphasis on quality. Not every interaction has to be a tour-de-force performance.

Sometimes I feel like we might both really be in the mood for something but we know we have limited time/energy/whatever so we don’t even try.

I think, in general, quality over quantity is a good standard to have, especially if quality had begun to suffer. But I don’t think that should mean we dismiss quantity all together.

There CAN be exceptional quality in large quantities.

I mean, a weekend vacation to the nearest beach once in awhile is pretty fucking sweet, right?

;-)

4 Responses to “April A to Z — Q is for…”

  • ancilla ksst

    We tend more the other way- quantity. Most of the time our play is fairly quick. The last time I had the endorphin rush/sub space thing going was with another Dom, actually. It was March 28, we went to dinner and then had a sub/slave swap. The biggest bruise is still faintly visible.

  • keth

    I’m sure you’ve thought of this already, but maybe you could both come up with some ideas for play that fits the quality brief, but is shorter. and put a rough time limit on it. E.g. if your regular, Quality-type scenes take, I don’t know, 4 hours, then a shorter one might take only 1 or 2. Not to say that you should put a time on it when you’re doing it (can’t imagine a bigger passion-killer than playing to an alarm clock), just that if you’re both itching for something but you’ve only got a short amount of time, then He has a selection of ideas he can work from to scratch that itch, depending where/what kind of itch he’s got at the time. And I’m quite sure that He would look at a list and devise his own ideas on a short scene. :) I mean this for inspiration, not prescription!!

    Maybe one way to approach it, to start with, would be for you to list the things that you know will get you fastest to the place you want to be (be that the big O, or headspace, whatever). That needn’t be in singles. It could be a brief list (e.g. beingpeedon+briefbutheavypain+orgasm=happykaya). I think too that you need to be clear about what kind of place those things would put you in – unless you feel that he knows those already. I think the key to the success of these smaller scenes is both of you being clear about what itches you got at that particular point in time, because you simply won’t have time to be vague and know that he’ll hit them all… eventually (which is how it might work in a longer, bigger scene). Of course, you being clear that you feel you need a nice big sappy-grin-inducing Big O thankyouverymuch Master does not mean that He decides that you get to get one…!!! [I know *you* know this, but for any readers who start spluttering ‘topping from the bottom’ … nah. this is just about giving Him the information he needs to make an informed decision about what’s right for them both.]

    :) enjoy!!

  • Seeker of Wisdom

    So, sometimes Q is for Quickie??

  • Rye

    We have sunk into this lately too. Right now I think we are both blaming the stress of the move lately, but I’m not sure. I’m worried it will continue even after we get settled.

    In theory I agree that quality over quantity is a good way to go, but when the quantity is zero it becomes a problem.

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